Letting Go

[dangermousetheory]

I've smoked DMT around 15 times and I have had some of the most intense and generally amazing experiences of my life, but I am having real trouble "letting go" which I think is stopping me from really breaking through. On several occasions I have become aware of very powerful entities which require me to totally submit to their reality, but I always resist - my ego just isn't prepared to be totally dissolved!

On my last trip I encountered what felt like an immensely powerful goddess who demanded that I totally submit to her reality, the vibe I got from her is "you belong to me now!". I was so freaked out I was literally pleading with her not to take me this time as I wasn't ready - I even ran to a different room during the experience. It felt like if I submitted myself to her reality I would be there for all eternity (my past, present, future everything forever!). After a minute or so the intensity of the trip reduced and I was able to let go to some extent and had an amazing experience - but I feel if I'd really let myself go during the peak I would have gone somewhere incredible.

I find it hard to mentally prepare for these experiences because the level of weirdness is always a total surprise, even now I can't imagine at all what it's like.

Does anybody have an advice on this? Should I try and increase my dose so that I literally don't have a choice about letting go or not, or would it make more sense to somehow prepare myself better for the trips?

 

[Whatis]

Hi dangermousetheory

There isn't much 'you' can do. Letting go will happen when it is ready. Keep journeying and you will be rewarded.

The fear seems to come from the lifting of the veil, so to speak. When your ego starts to exit stage right and everything you held as true in your life no longer applies of course the minds natural reaction is one of 'holy shit'. The more you can embrace this, the better IMO - it leads to some incredible places.

One key is to know, in your core, that everything will be OK. Always.

Meditation before helps. I like to listen to satsangs or talks from spiritual teachers.

I personally find it easier to let go if I lie down rather than sitting up.

Also try smoking several times in one session. I find it easier to let go on the second or third trip.

With regard to dosages, do what you feel will be right. I smoke ~30mg in one hit in a vapour genie and hold it as long as possible.

Have fun!

 

[dangermousetheory]

Hi Whatis, Thanks! that's good advice - I guess I can't force it, just have to keep trying until it happens. I'll try some meditation and smoking multiple times in a session. I'm using a machine and just eye-balling the dosage - two little scoops with my key I'm getting to understand that things will always be OK. but not 100% there yet.

 

[obliguhl]

I am having real trouble "letting go" which I think is stopping me from really breaking through.

I think so too. Have you tried setting your intent well before the experience? Even if you can "let go", it can be too late to go deeper. The question then turns into "How fast can you let go". Are you able to love ?

 

[anrchy]

Letting go takes practice, but you must also remember that its not an action it is devoid of all action that truly is "letting go". Its not something you do its something that happens.

Learning how is much better than forcing it with a larger dose IMO. It took me some time, dont rush it. Just keep dosing and it will happen.

 

[OoglesMcGoogles]

I agree with others that meditation is a big part of feeling comfortable in hyperspace, and not just right before you inhale--It's a regular regimen of meditation that helps me.

I've had that same block you're talking about, and it helped me to ask, "What is it I'm afraid of letting go of?" I don't think the DMT universe is entirely separate from our everyday hallucinations; have you wondered where else (if anywhere else) that demanding goddess shows up in your life and how you deal with her then? I've encountered some serious demons while tripping, and I had to deal with their quotidian occurrences before I could feel comfortable with them in hyperspace. Not that I've exorcized all of them, by any means.