Microdosing Musings

[PlantTraveller]

I got this post idea from JBark, but the thing is I just did a month of microdosing and have decided to take a month to integrate now. I kept a pretty detailed private journal about it which I'll quote from.

Dosage
I took either 1, 2, 3, 4 or 6 ug of 1p-LSD every 3 - 4 days. I am unsure whether my tabs are 100 or 200 because the handwriting makes it look a lot like a 2, but it could conceivably be a 1. it should be a 1. I am awaiting information, rather low in hope, about it but I'll say no more. Anyway.

Expectations, set
The reasons I took it are: it's maybe a bit more complicated, but tl;dr I fit all the criteria of female adult ADHD. I have shown scatty and forgetful behaviour, daydreamed and procrastinated, lost my keys 5 times a day, had racing thoughts of great importance preoccupy me constantly, and massively struggled keeping my shit together. Overall I was constantly feeling thwarted and trapped, feeling like I was boiling with creativity that had no place to escape to, feeling like I was boiling with ideas and a hunger for information that could never be satisfied. I wasn't sure what I was wanting from the MD exactly but reading interviews with Ayelet Waldman made me think I wanted what she'd been having. Also. In the past year, I've done some big girl stuff like becoming very responsible about getting enough sleep. I also quit nicotine and caffeine, and stopped having weed all day and only in the evenings. I also did a bunch of healing mushroom sessions this summer. After all these things, I was a lot better off in some ways, but in other ways, still having problems, like scattiness, lack of focus, etc.

Off to a good start
I started with 1 or 2 ug. "After not too long, everything was clearer and more beautiful, including me, and I had more energy. No visual effects unless you count clarity and beauty. A gentle body awakeness and fizz. I still was a bit forgetful after that but relaxed and cheerful overall.
The checking in on myself is basically mindfulness. Did it all the first day looking for changes, and this in itself was highly massively beneficial and educational, it’s a sort of slow the fuck down thing.
When i forgot my phone i was relaxed and cheerful about it. Didn’t have a huge appetite."

3 or 6 ug was popping bright: I noted appetite suppression, increased sociability and enhanced energy until 4 am. (In contrast to my regular aching for bed around 11, 11:30, desire to be a complete hermit, and general cases of the munchies). At this point in my menstrual cycle I would normally have extremely tender breasts and this was not happening at all.

I interrupted my schedule to have a mushroom trip and thereafter resumed with 2/4 ug, except on a couple of days where I went for 1/2 as I already felt great.

Effects I observed over this time
- About an hour after dosing, I would feel very clear and calm. For the next couple of hours there would be intense time dilation and a special sparkly feeling of excitement, like knowing a delightful miraculous secret. Any time I was out in nature this effect would be extremely strong and the beauty around me would be breathtakingly strong and everything alive would just sort of jump out at me with an intense clarity and depth.
- My overall energy level over this time was definitely higher than usual. Even on my non dosing days I was full of vigour, always ready to leap up.
- My night time vapes got me higher than usual, and faster, and I conked out to sleep quick, which I usually do anyway these days.
- Remembered a lot of my dreams in this month, crazy sci-fi stuff.
- Had a lot of memories flash back into my consciousness unbidden (?!).
- Rediscovered my passion for reading real books (have been a phone crapreader for ages).
- Remembered music that I like and actually listened to it.
- Came up with several ideas for stories and actually started writing fiction again
- All menstrual-related occurrences were far easier than usual
- Appetite reduction (hadn't expected this)
- Elimination of junk food cravings

Very Notable and Unexpected Effects
- I was patient and calm to a degree I had not thought myself capable. Countless fights with my partner were avoided because I was able to smile and "brush it off". Very interesting to be able to do that - did not know I had that power.
- The slow motion / time dilation effect enabled me to become closer to my emotions in a way I hadn't realised was possible. I could examine them, still feeling them, but having the comfort of examining them from a little distance as well; reacting was nowhere near me, and I was able to sort through what was going on extremely well.
- I think I was more effective in my work than usual.
- I kept my house reasonably tidy, which is extremely unusual for me and I normally struggle enormously to even stay caught up on the very basics. I did a huge cleanup a few days in to the experiment because we had guests, did very good work, and have actually kept the place in reasonable shape since. I don't hate chores the way I used to. I'm generally happy noodling about in my brain while I do them now, rather than getting confused and overwhelmed by the task at hand. This is something I wasn't expecting at all and might have been one of the strongest benefits of this cycle (I'm sure the tidiness, too, contributed to the domestic peace situation. The domestic peace also contributed to my ability to tidy as I had more energy).
- This might sound weird but I felt like I was a better driver than usual. I felt more aware of all the cars around me and while I'm generally super calm in the car anyway, the time dilation / emotional management thing was pretty amazing. I had a few experiences where other people were driving like lunatics and I was terminator-calm.
- Weed was definitely stronger, which I see as a good thing, because it means .

Possible Negative Effects
- I don't know for sure if this is related, but I've had an incredibly sore back for the past month. It had gotten bad over the summer (when I was taking mushrooms nearly every 2 weeks; there were also many other factors but have recently suspected the mushies). After physio it was better but then flared up badly; I don't feel like stopping dosing has improved it, but it was so tight by this stage that I had to go back to physio and sports massage twice, and well, I don't know if I'll ever know if it's related. Ideally I would wait until my back is all better before I try dosing again, but I'm not exactly sure when I'm going to start up again because there are a number of things I want to explore.
- Time dilation can be not fun when you're bored. I was surprised to feel incredibly bored one afternoon with my son. It was an interesting experience on many levels and I learned a lot from it. It was like a mini teaching trip, I could write an entire post on that alone to be honest but this is already getting very long, so not now.

Conclusions so far
Well, this wasn't some miracle cure for the scatterbrains. However, I feel like something of a positive feedback loop has been initiated; when I did my usual scatterbrained things, I would be really calm about them, and not get stressed and panic. This helped me become calmer in general, and this, I think, led to a bit less scatterbrainedness overall. I feel like I've learned a ton about managing my emotions (without becoming in any way disconnected from them) and I feel more like myself than I have in a really long time, and this includes when I'm stone-cold sober. I'm enjoying life more thoroughly than I have in a while. I stopped craving chocolate (my previous chocolate cravings were so strong that I kind of didn't bother resisting them, I just ate a lot of chocolate at night) at all. I ate almost no sweets / junk food during this whole period, even during prime PMS time.

Having said that I was very active in all this improvement stuff, I didn't just wait for it to happen and then it did. Like I really listened into myself for how I was, and I tried hard, and any time I tried hard at anything I felt immensely rewarded. I have a hypothesis that this medicine can help us to amplify our intentions (and to refine them and crystallise them). I think it's immensely powerful and I'm a bit surprised that it had such a strong, tangible effect at such a low dose. I want to test it at 5 ug, at 10 ug, at 15 ug, at 20 ug... etc.

Now, having been off it for a good few days, I am retaining time dilation (to a degree) and sparkly magic and excitement, have been so far okay with managing my emotions, and generally pretty calm. Still a bit scatty but seriously unbothered by this, which is really nice. Am aiming to integrate and put stuff into practice for the next while and only dose if it's a special day. Too bad all this is so subjective. But even if it's all placebo, it's working for me and I am very glad I experienced this month

 

[AikyO]

I think it's immensely powerful and I'm a bit surprised that it had such a strong, tangible effect at such a low dose

This really was my feelings as well. Oh my, so subtle and yet still life changing! It feels like a day long afterglow. It has the depth and the psychedelic groove to it - people often say they want to avoid the psychedelic effect but they generally mean the hallucinations, I think the term psychedelic rightfully applies for microdosing. It can be quite psychedelic, without outburst from the next dimension. I also believe microdosing to be more about the length on which you take it, because, weirdly, you become more sensitive, you discover new things - while in a stable way. I think that is when the psychedelia can really get in, smooth and manageable. It may be the best approach to psychedelia for a lot of people, as well as for depression issue.

I'm liking all this microdosing reports, I may get back on it and start one of my own

 

[PlantTraveller]

Yeah man, I'm with you on all that ÅikyǬ.

Today is the first day I've been "low mood" in a really long time. I'm pretty weepy and morose and also my back pain is getting me down. Think a lot of stuff needs to come out and I need a good cry so I'ma go do that now.

Yay microdosing

 

[downwardsfromzero]

I'm liking all this microdosing reports, I may get back on it and start one of my own

Me too, although it looks as though P. ovoideocystidiata powder will be the working material. This is super potent, so dose calibration will be of necessity a cautious process.

tl;dr I fit all the criteria of female adult ADHD. I have shown scatty and forgetful behaviour, daydreamed and procrastinated, lost my keys 5 times a day, had racing thoughts of great importance preoccupy me constantly, and massively struggled keeping my shit together. Overall I was constantly feeling thwarted and trapped, feeling like I was boiling with creativity that had no place to escape to, feeling like I was boiling with ideas and a hunger for information that could never be satisfied.

Apart from the female bit, this sounds uncannily like a description of myself. You have my great sympathy. For this among other reasons I've wholly rejected any pretence of integrating with 'normal life'. (Most of it sucks anyhow )

 

[AikyO]

Think a lot of stuff needs to come out and I need a good cry so I'ma go do that now.

Sometimes I wished I would cry more. Real tears. I use to when I was little, I would cry a lot, now it happens so rarely I can only remember a vague distant feeling. I think it's really beautiful and profound when it happens, having your voice distorted this way.

One thing more I wished to add, something really important to me, is how microdosing changed my perception of the integration process. Realizing that such a minuscule dose would have those effect and that you could still feel "it" the day later and later ... It really made me envision in a more respectful way the process of the psychedelic experience, and distantiating me ever more from the party milieu.

 

[PlantTraveller]

For this among other reasons I've wholly rejected any pretence of integrating with 'normal life'. (Most of it sucks anyhow )

Agree, fuck "normal life", wtf, it's all a bunch of stuff that happened by accident due to the actions of a whole load of ignorant (if chiefly well-intentioned) humans.

It really made me envision in a more respectful way the process of the psychedelic experience, and distantiating me ever more from the party milieu.

Yeah!! *high five* Also re the crying, man, this is a bodily function that really does have a use. I feel way better after crying yesterday. I cried a bit today as well.

I realised that I totally forgot to add in this thing that I've been batting around my head re microdosing. I wonder if it is potentially an amplifier of intent? Sure, this is a very abstract notion. But I feel like it could be true. And even just having come up with the concept in the first place, now I have the idea, and I can amplify my intent just by thinking about it. I wonder if I were to microdose and not take any care of myself and my mood and become mean and churlish, would the amplification be there as well? Or is it a side effect of the time dilation, the ability to just see everything, from sunlight on leaves to your own emotions, that tiny bit slowed down before it hits you in the face. It's probably a whole mix of things, including this mindfulness thing. There's an amazing detachment to this medicine, I say detachment but it's not really detachment. It feels more like an added perspective, maybe from outer space or at least up in the clouds. That feeling I get when I look up and see all the stars sparkling in the sky, and I get shivers up my spine remembering how minuscule I am, how I'm but a teeny blip on a speck in a vast ocean, it's as if that gets mixed into daily life without having to like, meditate first or have the night sky in front of me.

So I've not microdosed for almost a week now; at this point in my cycle I'd normally be a raging glutton and have really sore boobs. Neither are happening, I don't have much of an appetite. Again I wonder if the two are related or kind of feed on each other; surely eating like, 3 Snickers bars and a packet of chocolate biscuits would be somewhat inflammatory, which might contribute to the breast tenderness? It's kind of frustrating to have no idea and no way of proving or finding any connections. But it's fun to think about anyway.

In other news my partner was an incredible grouch today and said some rather rude things to me, entirely unprovoked, if I do say so myself. I was able to just walk away with no backchat whatsoever. I cried a bunch but didn't contribute to any fighting - if I could give myself a gold star, I would. I also interestingly needed to go to the bathroom immediately, sorry if that's TMI but I thought it was interesting that I had this negativity in my field and immediately went to evacuate my body. This is definitely a HUGE bonus which I have directly gained from microdosing. Hooray!!

 

[null24]

In other news my partner was an incredible grouch today and said some rather rude things to me, entirely unprovoked, if I do say so myself. I was able to just walk away with no backchat whatsoever. I cried a bunch but didn't contribute to any fighting - if I could give myself a gold star, I would.

That's it,right there. Another thing to add to the list of amazing things that micro dosing does. I've been struggling terribly with some really poor thought patterns lately, from catastrophizing to building false narratives and falling prey to shameful thinking. Nearly every morning,I wake angry,and by lunch I've listened to so much hateful self talk that I'm in tears.

Engaging in talk therapy,a multitude of group meetings, creating structure and being of service all help me to keep moving forward. Times of crisis or duress call for something else though, but being unable to tolerate the side effects of any of the anti depressants,mood stabilizers,anti psychotics or other pharmacological substances that have been prescribed over time, I've been thrilled to discover micro dosing. Using sub threshold psilocybin doses nearly instantly lifts me out of this state.

I just began a regimen last night, and this morning woke up in a good mood. I love this.

 

[PlantTraveller]

I just began a regimen last night, and this morning woke up in a good mood. I love this.

That's awesome, how is it going for you? what do you take??

So, I had a "special" day yesterday, and decided to interrupt my integration cycle by taking a one-off microdose. 2 drops, so either 2 or 4 ug, sublingually, around 8:30am.

Ohhhh it was glorious. Not only was I able to appreciate how wonderful a gift it is to be alive, and my own wonderfulness as an integral part of Everything, but my mean period pains faded away, and my back seemed to realign itself and become lighter. Wow! I went on a nice walk in the forest to consolidate the back healing. Then I had a great day. I only forgot 2 things over the whole day, which is pretty amazing for my ADHD style mental capacity. I was happy and social at work. After working for several hours my back was incredibly sore but I held it together for the main event and think I did really well. Enjoyed the time dilation immensely. Definite flow state stuff happening despite many technical and circumstancial obstacles.

Today I'm in a rather different state. I can still feel the effects of the dose but I'm also really sad. Got yet another setback with some annoying grown-up stuff that I'm dealing with. And just feeling like I'm in the utterly wrong environment. Like a desert lizard in an icy forest. Or a jungle parrot in a desert. What I need to thrive just isn't here, or possible in my circumstances / environment / the century I've been born in. So I have to adapt. I've adapted a lot. Changed myself from a night owl to an early riser. But I need to adapt more and... I think I need to make some big changes to my life if I'm not going to sink into bitter self pity. This is nothing new but I'm coming to accept it. Dosing is all well and good, and I've achieved certain things before even going there that were helpful, but... I'm so tired of dealing with the same shit over and over again.

 

[PlantTraveller]

The integration continues.

It's very hard to maintain the log without the dose. So hard to maintain the mindfulness! The sense of ceremony, the anticipation of the more savoured, flavoursome day do so much to make your experience of the day feel special enough to warrant such focus on the self's experience. I want to experience this without the medicine, I'm jealous of my medicated self when I'm far from that mindset, and the jealousy creates a shield against the mindset in the first place. While it might be harder work and a bit more gritty, these days of not dosing and trying to understand what about me needs to grow, it feels like a fair balance. On a baseline day, the work is slow, the experience of the day is hyper feelable - this can be both on a good day or a difficult day. While, when dosing, the experience of the day is slow, and the work is hyper feelable, and malleable, and, well, easy to see because of the slowness.

It's fun. I feel like I'm in the reconaissance phase right now. Sitting out with my net, waiting for things to show up, and show me the path. Feel like I'm making some progress with my interpersonal relations. Learning to let go of my anxiety around what other people are feeling. Seems to have positive effects but I think I might be addicted to it in some ways. As in that I'm hiding the thought from myself, and indulging in it unconsciously while thinking about something else, probably how much I don't care what other people think of me because I'm such a free spirit. Whoah. Weird image. Could this be the cause of my social anxiety and hermitage? Feels like a bit of a duh moment.

I'm also very high. Appetite has returned a bit more. Have been eating more sugar than when I was dosing. Again, need to get back to doing this stuff without dosing. At least dosing is allowing me to look at this stuff, and to experience what is life when not indulging in these ways. To experience the freedom from certain shackles.

OK I have to get to sleep now. A rule of this microdosing for me is that it's only possible when I'm being really good about sleep and actually getting enough most nights, ideally every night. Anyway, not planning on dosing yet, looking forward to doing it again, but not sure when. Still v glad I dosed last week for the special day, it was worth it and gave me a boost and helped me let out sadness also.

 

[PlantTraveller]

Integration continues.

Had a day yesterday where it was a beautiful day, and I kept thinking oh, I wish it was a dose day. This gave me the push I needed to be more mindful. Really enjoyed the day.

Well, until I was out with my partner, and he got really drunk. He made a bit of an ass of himself, and of me too, to be honest. Ended up giving him a kind of ultimatum, I said I don't want to be around him when he's drinking any more. Not sure what I'm going to do about him drinking at home, the obvious answer would be to leave when he does it, but I have a kid here so that won't be realistic. I know that people don't ever change because someone else is telling them anything. But at the same time, if he wants to spend his time getting shitfaced and incoherent and abusive, I don't want to participate in that, or suffer it, which I think is fair enough.

Was gonna maybe dose today because it's a "special" day, but I only got 6 hours' sleep after last night's fiasco, and despite staying completely sober until like, 2:30 am when I finally got home and had a vape, I feel kind of hungover. And it's one of my rules that I have to have slept properly if I'm to dose. Lesson learned?

Substances are such a great door to controlling consciousness. Decided to have a few vapes during the day on the Solstice and instead of getting baked, it helped me to slow my consciousness down. I might do the same today, as I've got a headache from the lack of sleep and the being bellowed at and, I think, probably, the being connected on a quantum level to a human being who drank way too much last night. They're figuring out that we inoculate each other with our bacteria when we hang out together. Pretty sure we're doing similar shit on a quantum level. It would be weird if this wasn't happening imho.

 

[PlantTraveller]

For science, I decided to dose yesterday. I went for 4 or 5 droplets (my hand kind of slipped and I'm not exactly sure how much I had). At most this was 10 ug, could have been as low as 4.

I hadn't intended on doing it if I didn't feel like I'd slept enough, but it was a special day and I wanted to see the effect anyway. I think the lack of sleep diminished or blunted the medicine's effects. They were lovely all the same. Quite nice clarity, some gentle time dilation, a general sense of satisfaction and one-ness with myself. Today I still have clarity and a sense of peace. Think the time dilation is specifically lessened from the bad sleep, which kind of lessens all the other effects. Had a great time getting high and thinking in sci-fi ways. Wanted to be writing.

Having said that I will not dose again on low sleep, the results of this dose have only strengthened my resolve to only dose on adequate sleep. This is not emergency medicine. It is high level get your shit together medicine. I really believe it's better to be in good shape and already working hard with good energy to get the maximum benefits and potential...

 

[downwardsfromzero]

This is not emergency medicine. It is high level get your shit together medicine. I really believe it's better to be in good shape and already working hard with good energy to get the maximum benefits and potential...

Thank you!

Thank you for sharing, Merry Solstmastide.

 

[null24]

There is not a ton of research on this, and there should be. It seems like a lot of folks are doing this here, I think it would be great to create a sub to collect people's diaries as an information resource.

Micro dosing is probably the single most effective pharmacological aid for depressive, ptsd, anger, symptoms etc and can be utilized in so many ways-grief and bereavement processing, anger management, therapy integration, addiction treatment for a few examples in more structured settings, as well as auto didactically for creativity, focus and energy.

As an addict it has raised some issues with me personally that can be addressed by being accountable to others who are aware and supportive of me, my intentions and process, but who will call me on BS and poor behavior I might not see.

To answer your earlier question, I use psilocybin from dried, cultivated cubes (this time, penis envy and mexicanas) at pretty high micro doses, from .25 to .5 grams. I think this is why Ineed to be careful with it, because I do have a small change when I take that much, I can feel an energy in my solar plexus that is definitely pleasurable. While I know I can't become physically dependant, there is a danger of me becoming over reliant upon a substance that is costly and hard to find.

 

[PlantTraveller]

Merry Solstmastide to you too, downwardsfromzero and thank you for reading!

I agree with you about the research null24!!

I hear what you are saying on the addiction stuff too. Can I be really nitpicky and annoying and ask why it is that you are labelling yourself an addict? See, I think that verbalising in that way only reinforces the concept. You could try phrasing it differently... engaging in addictive behaviours... dealing with addiction... etc. Sorry for being annoying, it's just that I think the words we say to ourselves about ourselves are amazingly powerful!! With that out of the way, I'm glad you have people you can trust who support you and call you out, and props to you for your awareness.

... and like... while obviously some substances have an extremely steep dependency curve, others are simply so delicious that it certainly requires a lot of discipline not to overdo them. I get you on the nice solar plexus feeling. One of my microdosing/life goals is to have that feeling more often in "sober" life, it's definitely happening. I've had some days since starting this whole experiment where I woke up as excited and relaxed as if it was the summer holidays and I was like, 18 with all of life's opportunity before me and no responsibilities. Truly a wonderful gift.

And another question null24, have you tried extremely low doses yet? Again asking because I'm so glad I started with an extremely small dose of my 1p, I'm still amazed how powerful a boost two tiny drops of this can give me, how tangible the change is, how it suffuses my every moment of consciousness. Even just looking around, I feel like I've just cleaned my glasses or got new ones. Driving is so much easier.

Sorry, am rambling now. Growing these babies is easier than you might think worth looking into!?

 

[PlantTraveller]

Still integrating, still have not dosed again.

Also have been kicking back, it's a quiet time of year for me so it's nice to just be in the cave.

Am wondering whether for me, a good regimen would be like, every Monday morning. I feel like the every few days stuff was maybe too often. Like, it was super enjoyable, but I feel like maybe I could get a ton more from having a dose on a Monday morning to give me a nice boost and start the week off with energy. I would look forward to my Monday morning. This would be a good thing.

I also feel like taking it on the first day of my period is amazing for me. Like life-changingly good. So I could do that... and if it's Monday and my period is due soon, just wait with taking it until that first crampy, heavy-limbed morning.

Anyway,that's all I've come up with so far...

 

[PlantTraveller]

So... I've microdosed four times in January, and also had a proper (and highly nourishing and delightful) trip on 1p and 6-apb, I'm still writing up a report about it.

The dose days have been rather beautiful; I've greatly appreciated the medicine, but at the same time, I'm wondering if this 30 day cycle idea that Dr. F promotes isn't maybe a better way to do it and get a real life-boost. I don't know. I guess I'm trying to figure out what's right for me.

My discipline about eating snacks / junk food is way, way, way stronger when I'm having a dose day; the thing is though, this kind of disgusts me. Am I really so weak? I ought to just make more of an effort. The truth is probably closer to my cravings for junk being massively diminished when I'm dosed. I think I also feed myself better when I'm dosing, which must help. Again, I think I "should" be able to do these things without the medicine, but... hmmm. I guess I'm having a bit of trouble accepting this in order to do something about it.

On one of my dose days I took the fight bait from my bf; this really, really annoyed me, I was angry and disappointed with myself for days and it took a lot of work to get over it. In hindsight I can see that I had become complacent because it had been a while since there was a real fight, and also it was pretty spectacular bait; also I didn't really take bait so much as vehemently insist that he should leave the house if he was going to be aggressive, which made sense to me at the time as I was angry he was behaving this way, but the obvious thing to do was for me to leave. It's my ego that decides I should try and speak logically with someone who is completely beyond the realms of logic at these times. So a future dose was taken with the intention of diminishing the ego.

I'm about a week away from my period and tomorrow is Monday: I'm considering dosing tomorrow. I've also got some work later in the week, might be good to dose then, too; at the same time though, I'm more inclined to use the medicine for my own, personal work, rather than the grunt-style hired gun things. Have had some very strong ideas about harm reduction wrt to my creative work, and might be pursuing this line for the next few weeks in an attempt to integrate my creativity into my life better, and turn it into something useful.

So, so, so grateful for the medicine. It vastly, vastly expands and improves my quality of life.