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Mid-dose Meditations

Migrated topic.
(mind)Set: Peaceful, optimistic
(physical condition) Set: quiet evening at home. partner sleeping on the couch. Warm inside but cold winter night. Liquid Bloom's Kuya Sessions mix playing quietly.
Setting (location): my own home, warm living room, seated on the floor
time of day: evening, approx 11pm
recent drug use: cannabis, caffeine (daily intake)
last meal: chicken rice and veggies, about 3 hours prior to dosing

Gender: M
body weight: 60kg
history of use: very experienced - however, less than 20 experiences with spice

Substance(s): DMT-enhanced cannabis (indica) flower (Changa)
Dose(s): 0.2g - one large cone. This particular batch of Changa was simply "clean-up changa", or herb that I used to scrub out the little remnants from the tray of my most recent extraction. I would say the mixture was approximately 1:10 Cannabis: DMT
Method of administration: Smoked via bong.

Administration time: T=0:00
Duration: 15-20min (probably)
First effects: deep peace, intense pleasure while smoking, body tingles.
Peak: T=0:05
Come down: mild after glow for about an hour
Baseline: T=1:35

Intensity (overall): 2 (moderate)

Pleasantness: 4
Unplesantness: 0
Visual Intensity: 1

Hangover: 0
Afterglow: 1 - colors, textures, and light/shadow seems to glimmer and shine more than usual, overall increased saturation and pleasantness of visual and audial perceptions. Generally blissful and at ease state of mind.


T=-0:30 (30 minutes before dose)
My partner and I are on the couch, starting to doze off watching The Office. I decide I want to sample the freshly-dried pot I used to scrub out the containers from an extraction I finished earlier in the week. She is too sleepy, and decides not to participate, but agrees to hold space for me as long as she is awake. I am pleased and excited to have a quiet, still setting at home for this session. The neighbors are mostly asleep and the apartment complex is quiet.

I grab my bluetooth speaker and put on Liquid Bloom's Kuya Sessions Journey Mix, a favorite of mine for entheogenic travels. I prepare my bowl and load up my changa while listening and bringing my attention fully to the present moment. I light some incense (nag champa) and turn down the lights - we have colored lighting in most of the rooms, and turn all of the lights that are still on to a forest-green color. As I prepare my changa and set the mood, I do my best to bring my attention back to my breath and let my mind become still.

I choose to session on the floor, next to the couch where my partner is sleeping. Our floor is carpeted and so soft. I place a cushion under my butt and take a few deep, mindful breaths, repeating my mantra and settling into a meditative mood. Once I feel adequately "tuned in" (maybe 15 minutes), I start taking deeper breaths to prepare myself to draw slowly and deeply from the bong.

Earlier in the day, I was reading the Katha Upanishad. One verse of the scripture echoed through my mind as I began to draw from the bong:
"Both the individual self and the Universal Self have entered the cave of the heart, the abode of the Most High; but the knowers of Brahman, and the householders who perform the fire sacrifices, see a difference between them as between sunshine and shadow."

This would be the main theme for my experience/meditation.

As the smoke began to build inside the bong and reach my lungs, I became immediately aware of the presence of the spice, that hallmark "it's in there" feeling. I closed my eyes softly, but was still aware of the soft, green glow from the lights. As I drew more and more smoke into my lungs, the shade of green began to shift and change slightly, taking on sometimes-blue, sometimes-deeper hues.

I set the bong to my side on the floor and lay down flat on back and slowly exhaled. As the smoke left me, I felt ripples of vibration running through my body, gently and faintly, but undoubtedly there. I felt as though the whole room - music, incense, the smoke I exhaled - everything in my sense-universe was encouraging me into the deepest sense of peace, calm, and well-being. The idea of a "worry" or trouble seemed infinitely distant and silly.

I let myself chuckle and laugh, wiggling on my back a little, letting the waves of bliss move freely through my physical form. While I was rather disinterested in engaging with my body or physical surroundings, I was very much aware of them and still rooted in my physical form. It felt wonderful to still be manifest in this form and also in the spice space. This was one of my first low/mid-dose experiences and I wasn't expecting it to be so pleasant.

As I settled into the expanded space, I let myself sit up into a more intentional posture, as I had confident control over my body to do so comfortably. Vague, abstract but symmetrical, black-and-white subtle visuals, more like shadows on top of shadows, moved through my closed eye vision. As I settled and leaned in more and more into the experience, I felt the verse from the Upanishads I read earlier that day flowing through me. I let my mind rest on it. Slowly a vision appeared before me:
Simple, and not complex, but profound, I saw an Infinitely Radiant and Self-Luminous rhombus, radiant and illuminating my entire inner-vision in a pure white-gold light. I saw a shadow cast inside of the light, on an invisible but obviously present plane, which the shifting shadow was cast upon. This shadow took the shape of many beings, always as a black silhouette, as shadows are. First a tree, then Shiva dancing, then a small child sitting, on to other forms I can't particularly recall.
I realized the message meant for me in the verse: the relationship of light and shadow was not meant as good and bad, or positive and negative, but that the shadow exists only in the light. The shadow is another manifestation of the light, ironically. Realizing that my own human character is just like that shifting shadow - ambiguous and having no real existence in and of itself, but in truth, has it's being and existence entirely in and of the Light.

In this moment, I felt content in all my character flaws. Like the many branches of the tree's shadow, my character is many branched and faceted. There are both pleasant and unpleasant elements. But they all exist in and of the light. And are ever subject to change.

Glowing in this state, in this mind-wave, I let myself warm (a sensation I could physically feel) in that pale-gold light, smiling and crying. While I wouldn't describe this experience as a profound realization, it was definitely a peaceful one. Rather than a sense of Divine Magnitude or Infinite Incomprehsibility, I felt a sense of divine peace and reassurance. I felt clean in body, heart and mind.

I enjoyed the space as let myself swim in the meditation as long as my mind allowed, probably 20-30 minutes. As I gradually opened my eyes and wiggled my feet, I picked up all the articles from my session. I felt my mind completely still and calm, taking the truest pleasure in simply putting my things away. I got myself ready for bed a slowly ended the night afterwards.

Since the time of this experience, I have had several other intensely pleasurable and deep meditations with the aid of low doses of spice, usually in combination with cannabis. I wouldn’t describe this experience as particularly outstanding or novel, and hope above all that this report helps to highlight the benefits and joy possible even in very small doses of spice.

Thanks so much for reading <3
safe travels
Hey Subtlevibrations!

You layed out the pre-report very clean and detailed. Yes I would consider 20 lets say "successful" spice launches to be very experienced; I'd say one deep visit is more like hyper experieneced? :twisted:

Nice to have your partner around to hold space <3!

Thanks for the magical music suggestion, listening to Poranguí & Liquid Bloom - Sol Journey Mix now!

Ahh the set and setting seems like quite the chill scene! I also have most rooms on colored leds, can really change things up; forest green sounds fantastic :thumb_up:

Ahh yes the prelaunch breathes, where you already know whats about go down. Have your tried to fill the room with eucalyptus oils which I find help with breathing deeply. Love your "tuned in" verbage, might have to remember that! 8)

Regards to the Upanishad you shared, have you considering integrating a 'Mudra' into your days? Jnana mudra, Wisdom hand seal (As Naruto would say it :p) The pointer finger is the individual and the thumb the cosmos but as we all rememeber as often as we can that it's part of the same thing, as you said sunshine and shadow.

As we talked about in the chats, attached some art of the mudra with Gumby :D

MMM those led color shifts sounds pleasant, I've never quite had a experience like that where it's shifting.

Instantly glowing like Goku, I love it! Always healthy to have a chuckle or two!

Oh wow, quite the visuals! Very lucky to be that open and receptive, Love that you came across dancing shiva Nataraja! Do yo know about the arm crossing over the heart? it represents the self cloaking mech of the cosmos, the concealment, maya, its funny how this cloeaking can be both a blessing and curse; wild life we have here.. <3

I'm very happy to hear you had such a profound and warming experience! a intention most set out for, few actually recieve such clear imagery and messages :D

Thanks for sharing!


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Hey f1, very much appreciate your kind words and creative contributions. Thank you!

I am familiar with mudras as an idea and practice but haven't read much about them practically; if you have any good resources or scriptures I would be interested in reading them.

The visuals were definitely very subtle and basic, almost primitive. The AI images capture the magnitude, but the actual vision was quite wonderfully plain. I find my creative expression more readily in music than painting or drawing and I think that is perhaps why I found the simple black shifting silhouette so pleasing and soothing.

Thanks for reading <3
Hey Subtlevibes!

Ahh yes my visuals are always very black, at times filling the space completely with edges illuminated with hyper colors etc.

Regards to mudra I was suggesting based on your experience to play around with Jhana murdra with your thumb and pointer finger gently pressing, throughout the day, see if at times if can help remind you of the highest truths.

I checked out your soundcloud, thanks for giving me some beats for my morning work! Da bass gets me going in the mornings :thumb_up:
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