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motorbits trip diary

Migrated topic.
setting and dosage as usual

music: ode to joy


whishes:

dankbarkeit, gelassenheit, freude



experience:

das war SO gut.
 
setting and dosage like last year miss sophy.

preflight meditaion tune: space oddity, david bowie

wünsche: dankbarkeit, geduld, freude.

expirience:

SEID UMSCHLUNGEN MILLIONEN
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SEID UMSCHLUNGEN MILLINOEN
SEID UMSCHLUNGEN MILLIONENSEID UMSCHLUNGEN MILLIONEN
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SEI)D UMSCHLUNGEN MILLIONEN
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SEID UMSCHLUN GE N MILLIONEN
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dose and setting: i guess you know by now


wünsche: dankbarkeit, liebe, lernen

preflight meditatoin and music: disposition


"This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door


expirience:
curious.
i know it was good. it was certainly very long tough. i never fully fell asleep, but it feels as if large parts of my brain in the end did.
i can not name a single thing that has happened or a single thing i learned.
 
setting as usual, my bed though no blanket this time, full nude
does: microdose of dmt / smoke of glowing marygold flower leaves

preflight meditaion: op.125 - coral / 4 presto
wünsche: gelassenheit liebe dankbarkeit.
i modified how i voice my whishes. i sat down in lotus seat. i wrote them on a pice of paper, i put this paper into the bowl of my right hand, and hold up my right hand into the air for as long as i could.



music: ode to joy


expirience:
i started my expirience at 06:10 local time. 10 minutes after official end of night rest.
last week me hates me a lot.

i sang the whole ode to joy as loud as i possibly could, as many voices as i could.
i was headbanging, i was dancing as much as i could while laying on my bed.

it was very very good.
i will do this again tomorrow morning.
 
setting as usual.
dose: harmalas oral, unknown quantities. dmt: unknown quantities, medium-strong dose

wishes: mut geduld weisheit

pre-flight meditation: space oddity
music: "The Patient" "Lateralus" (2001)




experience:
15:18:32 me ›nais
15:18:37 me›affliction of sobriety
15:18:48 me ›my soul is my social worker lady
15:18:59 me›she joined INTO THE EXPERIENCE
15:19:03 me she blinked at me
she was more real then life. all her tatoos where there. i think maybe more tattoos then she had. she looked me into the eyes and with her expression and her blink she told me: IT FINALLY WORKED
15:19:06 me›(then) she danced
15:19:26 me›i was singing along to the patient after this
15:19:30 me›as loud as i could
15:19:41 me›my mp3 player can display lyrics
15:19:45 me›thats very nice
15:19:59 me›still i just sang oyaehayeahoe for a long time
15:20:01 me›realy loud


15:24:20 SWIMM›dude, in the past few days I've been having a *really* hard time following your thought :D
15:25:48 me›join the club
15:25:51 me›thanks for trying
15:25:55 me›im forced to
15:26:02 me›you are doing this to your self :p


15:33:14 me›i now know whom to ask to make me a trippy towel
15:33:25 me›there is a girllady at my work place
15:33:32 me›she is obsessed with Disney princess
15:33:36 me›but she makes other art too
15:33:42 me›she just has to do it
15:33:47 me›i must beg her




things i took away:
i need to ingest more maoi
i want to see an us-Indian tent from the inside while chanting. living inside one for one year might be the blindness i need.
my whishes where true and powerful. i want to see if i can use them again.
i need to make more dmt. i went to a realy good (i think) extract of 100g mhbr within 2 days
need to whish for plentyfulness and use more by som as music
 
setting as usual.
dose: harmalas oral, unknown quantities. dmt: unknown quantities, ? dose

wishes: verständniss geduld weisheit

pre-flight meditation: space oddity
music: "The Patient" "Lateralus" (2001)

method change:
until now i immediately posted the next thread with plans how to shape my next experience. this is the last time i will do so. in the future, i will post the settings immediately after beginning my preflight meditation



expirience:

das war so. gut
ich habe viel gelernt
der klimax freud3e schöner götterfunkens MUß deutsche nationalhymne werden
das lied der deutschen is deeply flawed.

i need to live in a closed station of a psycatric hospital. bonus if connected to university and forensic psychaitry.
google uke
 
same setting. porably lower dose, didnt refill.
musik: freudeschöner götterfunken repeat

no preflight meditation. im so tuned in.,



still singing and stomping
keep ad more dmt and harmalas when i fewel like it.
its good.
 
i will spend the night under a magic willow in a 30 min on foot from here.
i doubt i will save much of conditioning and these things
Did not make it there, thge way was tolong

i will try to get there agin now
momo will guide me
 
was für eine verrückte, abgefahrene schöne beängstigende transformierende woche

ich habe sogut wie gar nicht geschlafen, und wie sich herrausgestellt hat




mno calory intake + no sleep+ lots and lots and lots of dmt, orally and vaproized + lots and lots and lots aor haarmalas, hc l at first, frebase latger strong tea in the end



haben durchaus die fähigkeit mich komplett irre zu machen.


ich kann nicht schlafen, 2h max. mein körper brauct es aber mein geist ist WACH

das istg gut so.
ich werde versuchen einen monat zu schlafen.





was ich mitgenommen habe:
vieles waren psychotische effekte.

ich weiß immer noch das ich blind werden muss aber ich weiß nicht mehr wie lange

ich benötgige 3 tatoos. 2 permanente an den schultern, ein temporäres auf der stirn.

ich möchte das blindenkrankenhaus 50m die straße runter fragen ob sie mir bei meinem wunsch helfen können.



thank you dmt nexus for making me full member for a while and demoting me to new member again

i needed to have a glimpse, but i can not be full member untill i am through with this expirience.
 
some 10 or let it be 20 years ago my right lung spontaneously collapsed.i got cured of course, my lungs are fine.

and yet
you see
normally if one of your lung collapses it does funny things to your body
the blood will only get enriched with oxygen in one lung and so, your blod oxygen drops to 50%. blue facial colour, shorness of breath and a feeling of impending doom are the common symptoms.

not so with me.
my blood oxygen stayed at a happy 100% and i did not even notice what happen at first.i visited my girlfriend and made dinner. it took a while, but eventually i noticed i had a very wobbely feeling in my right side. also, and my body looked disformed.

so i called the medical emergency and talked to them. they told me they thought i most likely had a spontaneous pneumothorax and he would send an ambulance


when the ambulance arrived with flashy lights i went outside and told them they where there for me, but they informed me they where not. there was an emergency in this house, i was no emergency; however, when i said my name they took me into the car and lay me down.


talking

who made the prediagnostic? amateur. should not work there.

the person with the stethoscope: i have no sound on the right side.

the dude watching a monitor; blood oxygene at 100%


the important guy: how do you feel? did your right side always looked like this? why did you call an ambulance?
after many questions most of which i cant remember he told me i indeed had to go to the hospital. i was impressed.


so, this is what i wonder: how would my last week have turned out with one lung? it probably had gone waaay less crazy XD
 
Heya motor , sounds like your taking steps up there very quickly I guess maybe that's how it happens , experiences as these we just want to feel see understand more of , I hope ya managing well , can be a rollercoaster of emotions at times , or just way to strange ,

Am not completely sure of the whole situation

How are ya sleeping at nights? Sleeping good is importent take the time to sleep well you mentioned you find it hard, if your rolling hard to long as it seem pointless to stop to sleep , it defiantly helps not building up confusion and taking more of the experience in ,

Ya know melatonin? Great for sleeping if it's hard at times

Enjoy the ride , and if things get to strange remember there's nothing new under the sun and it's always a few hours away hehe great time to chill balance out and get sleep if you walking 8n the nights

Stay safe )o(
 
thank you for your words!

and yes you are right. it was way to fast and way to long.
it was very fast and very long. right now i am sleeping very much.
i need to catch up with myself, if this makes any sense.
 
one week back on earth. i am back to my old self, mostly.

as this was my first in depth experience with dmt - and psychedelics for the most part - many mistakes where made, a few things where learned. most important of with are:

i feel i cant be the 105% atheist i used to be anymore. this is just as well. nobody likes diehards anyway.
i learned that it is a relay bad idea to bring something from the last experience with you into the next experience. this way lies madness and a really strange time.
it was a close dance with psychiatry. i am grateful i had therapy all my life *before* this. i am not even kidding. do not try this at home.


most important:
i failed come to a conclusive answer to my question: can aphasia be affected by psychedelics. i do know that if it comes to visual hallucinations, i do not seem to be as affected as other persons by hallucinogens. my aphantasia -as personified evil entity- laughs at drugs.
the bottom line is however: as i do n0t get most of the fun part of these recreational substances, but i have shown a perfect capabilities to go mad as a hatter, i decided that these substances are nothing worth pursuing for me. i know i will frequently think about this short and very instructive episode of my life for the rest of my life.
well, i guess... so long and thanks for all the fish, mr. dmt
 
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