My first bad trip

[odylus]

Hi! Long have I been a visitor of the nexus.. It's been an amazing source of information over the years. I've experienced something I would like to share.

I've always been fascinated by the world of psychedelic substances. I've only had the pleasure of trying DMT a few times in my life so far. Out of these trips I would probably only consider one of them to be breakthrough experience. It happened just last week.

It was horrifying. I took 4 dabs off of an oil rig. On the fourth dab, I saw a shadowy hand reaching over my shoulder, holding my arm, as if it were my puppet-master.. I felt as if this thing had always been controlling me, I just normally can't see it.

After the fourth dab I was transported to a crazy world of circus-like bands, ribbons, and zig-zags. At least four godly beings inhabited this realm. They were controlling the visuals, slamming them into me, metaphorically shoving my face into them, saying "Is this what you wanted?". I felt like they were making fun of my pursuit of higher consciousness. I thought to myself "Oh God, no, please PLEASE don't ruin this for me".

I tried to close my eyes, but I didn't have any. So I was forced to watch this sarcastic carnival (trying to close my eyes actually made everything faster and crazer). The visuals were actually quite beautiful, but I felt guilty looking at them, so I could not enjoy them. The words "Is this what you wanted?" sometimes appeared, like subtitles.

I felt absolutely despaired that my first breakthrough was so sarcastic, like these things wanted me to believe it was all a big joke, and that I have been wasting my life looking for this. But at the same time, it thrilled me because I finally broke through. It was the most bizarre experience of my life, and it was scary, but it only makes me more curious.

 

[anrchy]

This resonates with an experience i had, i believe earlier this year, where it seemed like this entity thought all i was there for was the cool colors and trippy visuals.

That experience probably showed you that there is a lot more to dmt than just trippin on psychs eh?

 

[odylus]

That experience probably showed you that there is a lot more to dmt than just trippin on psychs eh?

Most definitely! It was humbling, to say the least. During the experience, time felt like eternity, and I was sure that I was going to be too scared to ever try DMT again. But as soon as it was over it felt like a distant memory or a dream, and now I feel stronger for having had the experience.

 

[Horuscope]

Last time I went I asked for help, the times i had gone before the entites had proved to me they were real and in control, so when I went again it felt like they were angry that I kept coming back for more. Non-verbally "HAVENT YOUR SEEN!! YOU ASK ME TO HELP YOU??? WHO ARE YOU? YOU ARE NOTHING!!" They then exploded thousand consciousnesses before my face showing me that they they could create me in an instant and that I was nothing. I left apologizing and terrified as though they had permanently cursed my life. The being seem very indiferent and it is definitely as if they controlled everything all along. It is always like waking from the matrix.

 

[STFU&LOVE]

I experienced a similar event on one occasion although I would be hesitant to call it a bad trip even though it left me shaking in fear for well over an hour afterwards. It absolutely changed some aspects of who I was.

I found its effect over me quite interesting. I was always one to bump heads with authority figures, often lacking a certain level of respect for such positions. I can finally say that something made me re examine my approach. There was very real pain yet it was metaphysical and alien compared to any other such force I had recognized before. Almost as if conscience manifest its vengeful god like nature.

What I learned? Respect and awareness of intentions. Start with self and learn to apply to everything.

 

[1ce]

That's erie for me. I usually take higher doses. This is important because the onset of a 25-35mg dose seems to gradually take me into hyperspace. But what I experience is gradual,.. then a sudden explosion of DMT overload.

At this point it feels like all is lost, I can hardly inhale, I feel like I've really screwed up. I tell myself that it's okay, this is what I wanted; I've got nothing to fear; as my experience comes to a pleasant and uplifting curve.

If I was greeted by a sinister entity saying those words in that moment of extreme vulnerability.. I dunno, I don't want to know either.

 

[odylus]

Thanks for the replies! I've gone on a few more journeys since then, all of them completely amazing, full of love, euphoria, elves.. Now THAT's what I wanted

I feel like that first experience was a purge of some kind. Like it put my psyche in a place where I could enjoy the spice for what it really is.

 

[Speck]

Odylus- I have had an identical experience to yours. Complete with the words "is this what you wanted?" Racing chaotic circus-like visuals. Everywhere I looked the face of the entity would appear in front of me asking me that question. The great fear for me was that it would somehow trap me there forever. I felt like it was entering my consciousness, which I wasn't prepared for, but in retrospect what expectations did I really have opening a link to hyperspace? My response was to start shouting "I don't want that" over and over. I opened my physical eyes and felt like it was still inside my consciousness looking out onto our world. It didn't help that I was clearly still under the influence of DMT so I was seeing a hyperspace version of my room, making me feel like I had somehow brought hyperspace back into our world permanently.

The effects faded with no lasting issues except that I am very hesitant to enter hyperspace again until I get a better handle on what happened and how to avoid it. This is twice in a row now that this scene has been waiting for me as soon as I break through. I've been told that changa offers a slower onset and a more slowed down experience. I've also been told that getting the spice too hot can create a chaotic experience. I use a domeless nail on an oil rig for vaping, which served quite well for my first 15 breakthroughs, but I've read since then that using hot metal to vape is not advised. I've also read that meditation beforehand can help put your mind in a more calm state.

If anyone has had this experience and somehow overcome it I'm hoping they can chime in - hyperspace is the most fascinating thing I have discovered in our great existence and I truly hope to be able to explore these realms in a safe and responsible manner as long as I can.

 

[332211]

odylus,

sorry that you had to experience that. I am glad, that your following journeys went better.

I can add to the bad trip log, and it has a lot in common with speck's "bad trip", as i had the same experience, but much less intense at the second time.

Check it out here:

for the sake of us all, help - First steps in Hyperspace - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus

I hope you can make some use of all the input that people gave there.

all the best and much love to you

 

[○]

That experience probably showed you that there is a lot more to dmt than just trippin on psychs eh?

Most definitely! It was humbling, to say the least. During the experience, time felt like eternity, and I was sure that I was going to be too scared to ever try DMT again. But as soon as it was over it felt like a distant memory or a dream, and now I feel stronger for having had the experience.

That's what it's all about friend. Those deep experiences, where the intensity just keeps building and building, losing awareness of breath, dissolving away down the halls of hyperspace into a realm of infinite structure and complexity.

We never left.

Thanks for sharing