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My first dmt trip: i went to hell

Migrated topic.
I think it may have been too strong a dose.

I had an experience quite a while ago where I did double my normal dosage and instantly ended up in a black void that was pretty hellish in that I didn't know who / what I was, where I was, why I was here or anything for that matter, it was just a conscious nothingness.

Despite this though, this doesn't mean you should write off the experience as just being an 'overdose' my experience back then has actually proven to be one of the most important experiences I've had in my life and I've since been back there a few times and come to understand it a bit better.

I know you felt / understood it to be hell but also realise how difficult it is for us to objectively know what it is that we're experiencing, any idea we have of the experience is an interpretation and that interpretation could be very far from the truth.. it may be that your shock / astonishment stopped you from truly experiencing it for what it truly was.

Antidepressants could also have contributed to the experience, I've heard a lot of people being unable to trip properly on them, a friend of mine was on pretty mild mood stabilisers and he thought nothing of it having been on them and done LSD many times. I'm a little.. skeptical about anything that alters my brain chemistry when it comes to the effect it may have on my trips and I expressed this. He eventually stopped taking them and after a while of being off them, we had some DMT sessions again and he said the difference was huge both in terms of intensity / vividness of experience and also his ability to remember the experience.

Anyway.. That blackness, I think it's good to not have any absolutes in terms of our ideas about it, I've reached that many point and too have been unsettled by it and ultimately stopped my self from delving deeper as a result of it but you may be so close to so much more beyond it.
 
While dark, this is a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing with us.

One of my perspectives in regards to what transpires on DMT is that it frames things in a manner reflective of paradigms that flux in our subconscious. In your case, the Judeo Christian paradigm being long standing in your mind, you were shown "hell." The reason you were shown I wouldn't even try to speculate on. There may not be a reason. At least not a discernible one.

I occasionally have "darker" trips, but I suspend judgment relative to if it's bad or good. It appears (to me) that such binary designations are vastly too limited for hyperspace (that's not to say I'm not uncomfortable sometimes by what I see and experience).

My first dark experience caused a 6 year hiatus from DMT. Granted, the trip prior (like a few minutes prior lol) I was told to ease back on my journeying. I was hardheaded and didn't listen and "paid the price."

There's also something to be said about too large of a dose. I find that when too much is done, it's almost impossible to remember. One instance for me, I took off on a huge amount (friend was pouring it into the nail of the rig: I remember thinking "when is the flow of spice going to stop"), and I remember "when I left my body," but other than that nothing. I just know I went through something intense and important.

Regardless of the intensity and general compelling nature of any trip, be ready to alter any interpretation you may have. As pileofcats stated about interpretations.

I have yet to hear of a beneficial experience with alcohol in one's system. I'd say try it again without imbibing.

I haven't read all of the posts on this thread, so sorry if this has been asked and answered, but have you partaken in the spice since.

Welcome to the Nexus:grin:

One love
 
"bad trips" are healing trips

is something swim would say if we would talk about mushrooms.
Because it is spice swim instantly thought about hell like some dimension people go when they are not allowed to enter paradise, swim is not religious at all.

DMT effects do not increase linear, so doubeling your dose can shout you to spaces wich are just to much for a human mind to crasp in any reportable way.

Did it feel like hell made for you? or just some Hell you stumbled into?
 
Pile of cats said:
I think it may have been too strong a dose.

I had an experience quite a while ago where I did double my normal dosage and instantly ended up in a black void that was pretty hellish in that I didn't know who / what I was, where I was, why I was here or anything for that matter, it was just a conscious nothingness.

Despite this though, this doesn't mean you should write off the experience as just being an 'overdose' my experience back then has actually proven to be one of the most important experiences I've had in my life and I've since been back there a few times and come to understand it a bit better.

I know you felt / understood it to be hell but also realise how difficult it is for us to objectively know what it is that we're experiencing, any idea we have of the experience is an interpretation and that interpretation could be very far from the truth.. it may be that your shock / astonishment stopped you from truly experiencing it for what it truly was.

Antidepressants could also have contributed to the experience, I've heard a lot of people being unable to trip properly on them, a friend of mine was on pretty mild mood stabilisers and he thought nothing of it having been on them and done LSD many times. I'm a little.. skeptical about anything that alters my brain chemistry when it comes to the effect it may have on my trips and I expressed this. He eventually stopped taking them and after a while of being off them, we had some DMT sessions again and he said the difference was huge both in terms of intensity / vividness of experience and also his ability to remember the experience.

Anyway.. That blackness, I think it's good to not have any absolutes in terms of our ideas about it, I've reached that many point and too have been unsettled by it and ultimately stopped my self from delving deeper as a result of it but you may be so close to so much more beyond it.
Click to expand...

Well, again, this seems very similar to what I experienced. That's almost a relief.
Now, with some days distance, I feel a bit less "dreadful"... But that's a function of the distance, not of some superior take on the experience.
I also tend to see it as as a learning experience.
It does seem to be linked to my nonchalant way of not scaling. Perhaps i did too much indeed.
I get what you say about antidepressants. WOuldn't recommend it as it creates a dependency. Even though it helps stabilizing I'm not sure I actually need it anymore or just take it because the "weaning off" is so hard.
Thanks for sharing. It is confirmed for me, along with other replies, that my experience is definitely not unique.
 
M0K0 said:
"bad trips" are healing trips

is something swim would say if we would talk about mushrooms.
Because it is spice swim instantly thought about hell like some dimension people go when they are not allowed to enter paradise, swim is not religious at all.

DMT effects do not increase linear, so doubeling your dose can shout you to spaces wich are just to much for a human mind to crasp in any reportable way.

Did it feel like hell made for you? or just some Hell you stumbled into?
Click to expand...
I have to say both... It was me in hell, for being too curious or something I thought. But I felt at that moment like this was the truth about everything... But that's possibly because my sense of finitude and particularness/individuality was not functioning... The whole interpretation I had could be due to cognitive inability...
 
Voidmatrix said:
While dark, this is a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing with us.

One of my perspectives in regards to what transpires on DMT is that it frames things in a manner reflective of paradigms that flux in our subconscious. In your case, the Judeo Christian paradigm being long standing in your mind, you were shown "hell." The reason you were shown I wouldn't even try to speculate on. There may not be a reason. At least not a discernible one.

I occasionally have "darker" trips, but I suspend judgment relative to if it's bad or good. It appears (to me) that such binary designations are vastly too limited for hyperspace (that's not to say I'm not uncomfortable sometimes by what I see and experience).

My first dark experience caused a 6 year hiatus from DMT. Granted, the trip prior (like a few minutes prior lol) I was told to ease back on my journeying. I was hardheaded and didn't listen and "paid the price."

There's also something to be said about too large of a dose. I find that when too much is done, it's almost impossible to remember. One instance for me, I took off on a huge amount (friend was pouring it into the nail of the rig: I remember thinking "when is the flow of spice going to stop"), and I remember "when I left my body," but other than that nothing. I just know I went through something intense and important.

Regardless of the intensity and general compelling nature of any trip, be ready to alter any interpretation you may have. As pileofcats stated about interpretations.

I have yet to hear of a beneficial experience with alcohol in one's system. I'd say try it again without imbibing.

I haven't read all of the posts on this thread, so sorry if this has been asked and answered, but have you partaken in the spice since.

Welcome to the Nexus:grin:

One love
Click to expand...
Thanks for your kind reply. Yes, I would think it has something to do with the christian framework to see it as "hell". Or even in terms of punishment.
It's quite harrowing and I do understand that people stay off it for several years. The emotional turmoil is vast. But we looked for it ourselves lol... so no one else to blame I guess.
Yes next time I won't do it with any alcohol in my blood. That's obviously callous.
 
dvc777 said:
M0K0 said:
"bad trips" are healing trips

is something swim would say if we would talk about mushrooms.
Because it is spice swim instantly thought about hell like some dimension people go when they are not allowed to enter paradise, swim is not religious at all.

DMT effects do not increase linear, so doubeling your dose can shout you to spaces wich are just to much for a human mind to crasp in any reportable way.

Did it feel like hell made for you? or just some Hell you stumbled into?
Click to expand...
I have to say both... It was me in hell, for being too curious or something I thought. But I felt at that moment like this was the truth about everything... But that's possibly because my sense of finitude and particularness/individuality was not functioning... The whole interpretation I had could be due to cognitive inability...
Click to expand...
No, the hell was not "made for me", I stumbled upon it. The hell existed in itself. That's more of a reply to your actual question.
 
Sakkadelic said:
dvc777 said:
Someone sent me a private message. I thank you for this message :thumb_up: . But I am unable to reply to it (i don't have the rights yet).
Click to expand...
Ah yeah sorry about that, I hope you get the rights fast :)
Click to expand...
I'm a chemistry ignoramus so it might not be for me those rights lol
 
My perspective on it being classed as hell, is that it was an awake conscious "experience" (or rather there were no experiences to be had besides being aware) And a feeling that this is forever. It for me wasn't hell in terms of of being painfull or anything, it was hell because I felt I'm here forever, to be fully conscious, but totally alone, and never to experience anything again.
Thats what made it hell, an eternal void and I'm alone with nothing to do forever, a serious conceptual anguish.

Perhaps it was an experience of consciousness after heat death, or perhaps it was just my brain totally disconnecting from experience yet still being conscious. Idk.. But it's an intresting point that a fair ammount of us have apparently been in that state.
 
I also have a friend who is unable to trip on tryptamines. He is on multiple antipsychotic meds. He has lots of success on DXM but you shouldn't combine DXM with SSRI medications.
 
Chasemandingo said:
I also have a friend who is unable to trip on tryptamines. He is on multiple antipsychotic meds. He has lots of success on DXM but you shouldn't combine DXM with SSRI medications.
Click to expand...
I think that makes sense. Olanzapine and other atypical antipsychotics are often used as "trip killers".
 
Hey dvc777. Have a read of this and tell me what you think. I'm really interested.


The Abyss. Imagine being a spec of light. A pixel. A pixel that defied nothingness and became something. You have your memory of humanity, but you are stuck. There is no death. Only an eternity. And you no longer have ignorance. And from that pixel you have to reinvent everything. Everything that you are attached to, that is holding you back from complete death. That includes inventing life, reconstructing memories, inventing fractal patterns, inventing dimensions, inventing words, inventing science, invent time,inventing...everything. From scratch.

When you read the bible, it isn't "Fear of the lord" as in you must fear the lord God. It means the one FEAR of the lord, aka God's one and only true fear. That one must recreate existence all over again. Love is not there to save you this time.

its just eternal paradoxical nothing. but you are aware you are stuck in nothing. unconscious darkness? that's the dream. welcome to conscious darkness. the abyss, the void, beyond god everything collapses into the eternal dao.

edit:

Source: 3 tabs over 16hrs. Jamming to Psytrance in my underwear at an extended stay hotel with arms open in front of aircondition.
Click to expand...

Thats a quote from a reddit user in this thread that really resonated with me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Psychonaut/comments/79z1mm/mckenna_should_really_describe_his_bad_trip

I would enjoy your thoughts.
 
ColorfulElfBoy said:
My perspective on it being classed as hell, is that it was an awake conscious "experience" (or rather there were no experiences to be had besides being aware) And a feeling that this is forever. It for me wasn't hell in terms of of being painfull or anything, it was hell because I felt I'm here forever, to be fully conscious, but totally alone, and never to experience anything again.
Thats what made it hell, an eternal void and I'm alone with nothing to do forever, a serious conceptual anguish.

Perhaps it was an experience of consciousness after heat death, or perhaps it was just my brain totally disconnecting from experience yet still being conscious. Idk.. But it's an intresting point that a fair ammount of us have apparently been in that state.
Click to expand...

Exactly. That's it, I suppose. Being alone, forever, fully conscious (without the merciful prospect of death) but also being absolutely at the mercy of something higher, something independent of me. Though to me there was something positively painful about it.. for that brief moment it happened. I truly panicked.
yes, interesting that many have experienced it.
is this what it's like to experience the world in the womb? I wondered as well?
Babies are constantly crying, perhaps they are also terrorized by "hallucinations"?
I've been reading up here and there, and I'm now very intrigued by the concept of the "fear of God" mentioned in proverbs in the bible and jewish mysticism (zohar 1:11b : https://www.sefaria.org/Zohar.1.11b?lang=bi).
I was, and am, thoroughly convinced that there is something that transcends us, that cannot be grasped by us, and we are absolutely dependent in relation to it. Even though it is not evident from conscious experience.
 
BongQuixote said:
Chasemandingo said:
I also have a friend who is unable to trip on tryptamines. He is on multiple antipsychotic meds. He has lots of success on DXM but you shouldn't combine DXM with SSRI medications.
Click to expand...
I think that makes sense. Olanzapine and other atypical antipsychotics are often used as "trip killers".
Click to expand...
this, intuitively makes sense, since i would think (without having experience of it) that tripping and having a psychosis might be similar. So if it suppresses psychotic proclivities, it might also suppress the ability to trip.
 
ColorfulElfBoy said:
Hey dvc777. Have a read of this and tell me what you think. I'm really interested.


The Abyss. Imagine being a spec of light. A pixel. A pixel that defied nothingness and became something. You have your memory of humanity, but you are stuck. There is no death. Only an eternity. And you no longer have ignorance. And from that pixel you have to reinvent everything. Everything that you are attached to, that is holding you back from complete death. That includes inventing life, reconstructing memories, inventing fractal patterns, inventing dimensions, inventing words, inventing science, invent time,inventing...everything. From scratch.

When you read the bible, it isn't "Fear of the lord" as in you must fear the lord God. It means the one FEAR of the lord, aka God's one and only true fear. That one must recreate existence all over again. Love is not there to save you this time.

its just eternal paradoxical nothing. but you are aware you are stuck in nothing. unconscious darkness? that's the dream. welcome to conscious darkness. the abyss, the void, beyond god everything collapses into the eternal dao.

edit:

Source: 3 tabs over 16hrs. Jamming to Psytrance in my underwear at an extended stay hotel with arms open in front of aircondition.
Click to expand...

Thats a quote from a reddit user in this thread that really resonated with me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Psychonaut/comments/79z1mm/mckenna_should_really_describe_his_bad_trip

I would enjoy your thoughts.
Click to expand...
Interesting, thanks. Apparently that quote you posted is a citation of McKenna.
I sort of feel like I understand what he means. The thought that we would be under such experiences be experiencing a divine fear, rather than a sense of fearful dependence on the divine, had not occurred to me.
Unfortunately i don't think i can add much of a contribution to this.
 
ColorfulElfBoy said:
Hey dvc777. Have a read of this and tell me what you think. I'm really interested.


The Abyss. Imagine being a spec of light. A pixel. A pixel that defied nothingness and became something. You have your memory of humanity, but you are stuck. There is no death. Only an eternity. And you no longer have ignorance. And from that pixel you have to reinvent everything. Everything that you are attached to, that is holding you back from complete death. That includes inventing life, reconstructing memories, inventing fractal patterns, inventing dimensions, inventing words, inventing science, invent time,inventing...everything. From scratch.

When you read the bible, it isn't "Fear of the lord" as in you must fear the lord God. It means the one FEAR of the lord, aka God's one and only true fear. That one must recreate existence all over again. Love is not there to save you this time.

its just eternal paradoxical nothing. but you are aware you are stuck in nothing. unconscious darkness? that's the dream. welcome to conscious darkness. the abyss, the void, beyond god everything collapses into the eternal dao.

edit:

Source: 3 tabs over 16hrs. Jamming to Psytrance in my underwear at an extended stay hotel with arms open in front of aircondition.
Click to expand...

Thats a quote from a reddit user in this thread that really resonated with me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Psychonaut/comments/79z1mm/mckenna_should_really_describe_his_bad_trip

I would enjoy your thoughts.
Click to expand...

So, apparently, McKenna had this one giant bad trip, after which he never tripped anymore, and which kind of took the fun and lightheartedness out of it. From what i can gather from that thread.
 
The quote is lower down in the discussion and as far as I'm aware from a user, Vainth. In the quote you can see his source is 3 tabs of lsd I assume.

I asked him about it before but he said he don't do it anymore and sees it as just rambling on a trip. But I think phycadelics can unlock the unconscious part of our minds that have a lot of truth in there. I posted it cus it really resonated with me. And seems to be part of what we've experienced.

As for McKenna, yeah, apparently his bad trip included all meaning being totally void. And everything he had believed to be meaningless. I don't want to say to much about it as I've have to read up on it again to be accurate, but that was the basic jist
 
I've experienced really depressing "feelings" with the combo of certain drugs. An up n down experience of positivity, and then falling down into major negativity, then up, then down.

I'm assuming whats happening is a connection and then dissconntion of chemicals in the brain. I've narrowed down plesure and positivity to freedom and energy to explore that freedom to progress.
And the opposite as being trapped and having no energy, no progression.

The times I've been happy in my life have always been based around progression, and having the energy and freedom to progress.
And the depression from visa versa.

Like light and dark.
I would say the experience we had was that of no possibility, no freedom, no progression, forever.
And that reminds me of black holes, or the end of the universe.

Ofcourse these are just my ignorent ideas, I'm no Dr.
(don't tell the lady's that tho)
 
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