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My first steps, my confusion, frustration and my longing for deeper meaning

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Rising Star
I've been doing my research and watched a ton of newer videos, older (Terrence vids for example), read trip reports etc before I went ahead and did my first acquirement.
As advised I also invested in a glass vapor genie and took the steps up in dosage both for the respect for my own psychic and mind, but as well with a high respect for the DMT and what it can do to you in terms of life changing experiences.

My first "acquirement" was white/slight grey DMT.
Took my dosage up from 10mg to 15mg and a few times keeping it around 20mg.
This gave me an euphoria, some not too strong OEVs, but everything becoming a bit weavy and kinda like spinning flowers and such on the surfaces around.
Closing my eyes gave me this feeling of being in some quite strange room with different colors and squares, bit monotone colors not bright, while the point of view was kind of always sticking up towards my sight.

Trying to reach for something more powerful and move 1 step closer towards a breaktrough, I after a few times uped the dosage to 35mg.
This time I didn't manage to completely relax so I played with my eyes open and the whole room got like a computer "filter", like the same kind of colors I described above was now in the entire room.
TV being where it was supposed to be, flowers where they are, light switches etc and everything was where they was supposed to be, just looked completly computer made kind of like a high definition minecraft room.
Strong lines instead of soft edges in a way.

At this time I ran out of that DMT got a 2nd batch where the color was much more yellow, like a (bright)light yellow and slightly more "sandy" in texture.
I decided to continue further but not too much since it was a different product so did 35mg as last time.
Slight more "out of touch" feel, like a high feel, but just slight (this was about non-existent on the previous I had). I managed to relax this time so I layed with my eyes closed and Im right back in to this room with the colors and squares, after an initial "very wild ride" which I cant really explain, not like falling or any tunnels or anything, just a feeling of oooh myy .. and then I managed to relax and as I said in this room again.
The after effects was much nicer, visuals wise, as pictures on the walls had a VERY 3D effect and patterns on the sofa kind of waved and poped out, was very nice and pleasent after effect.
The previous batch had pretty much slim to non, more when it was done it was done, slight wavey visuals but nothing like I would sit and say wow things look so extra ordinary beautiful as I did on this.

At this stage I'm wondering a bit if DMT just doesn't have the effect on me as I hear so many describe. This either falling down or flying trough a wormhole kind of experience, before either getting close to a "membrane" or crossing the "membrane" for a full breaktrough and get in touch with "entities" of various kinds.
Which I see many describe as very life changing experiences.
Really made them dig deep in to them self on these journeys.

This is what I want to explore, but seems like regardless of 20mg or 35mg I end up in the same place with closed eyes just more intense ofc at 35mg and more vivid.
The really special one was this open eyes "minecraft" vision.
But again, nothing deep and meaningfull.

Does anything of what I explain sound familiar? Vaping technique seems to getting better now, more heat from the torch built up a much thicker smoke and I manage to get it all in 1 big toke, sometimes a 2nd smaller one to empty it. Overheat a possibility?
I found a friend that had tried DMT a few times and she, by using same product and equipment reported something much closer to what I thought I would exprience with it.
She even right as it kicked in went "oh my, so much I had forgotten" and went silent for 10mins, coming back talking about various experiences.
How it cleansed, how she felt some precense of a female, how she bounced trough some tunnel of objects kind of shaped like baloons etc etc

All I'm thinking, why haven't I seen any of this hehe
Any thoughts and insight? :)
Maybe my expectations and hopes interfere with what the DMT is "willing" to give me..

kind regards,
Hello and welcome to the forum.

First and foremost, please do not mention buying drugs on the forum. For more information on the rules and posting guidelines, refer to the Attitude page.

As for your experiences, I would highly recommend to keep trying. More often than not it boils down to technique and practice. Adding harmalas to the mix will potentiate the DMT as well if you still are not getting to where you want to be. It is easy to get caught up in trip reports and expectations brought on by what others say and experience. It is easier said than done, but try to let go of those expectations and accept the experience as it is, no matter what happens. Your experience will be unique and special, centered around you. Yes, there are similarities but also vast differences. It also doesn't help that language can be quite limited when it comes to trying to decipher and communicate what happens in a DMT experience.

If vaping DMT isn't producing results, try switching up the vaping or smoking methods. You could make some enhanced leaf, changa, or try the DMT sandwich method out of a bong. Then there are always oral routes such as Ayahuasca or pharmahuasaca. If all these different approaches fail, even when adding harmalas to the mix, then you may be one of the approximate 5% of people who are not affected by DMT. It is relatively rare, but it does exist.

Don't give up or lose hope. Perseverance tends to pay off in the long run. Good luck with any future endeavors.

Be well

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