• Members of the previous forum can retrieve their temporary password here, (login and check your PM).

Reply to thread

Thanks for answering, ijahdan! This is really appreciated! I'm glad that you liked it! It's nice to find someone who can relate to what I experienced. Meanwhile, here is part 2:



The next 3 trips had the same general feel as previous ones, but this was different changa. I think it was much weaker, because trips weren't as deep and immense as earlier:


TRIP 3


Maybe month or 2 after the last one me and my brother rallied for another one. Maybe it was Christmas Eve? My brother was first this time too. I was still scared. After taking a puff I immediately started reporting what is happening to him, like: "Oh, it's starting! What a cool transition. Everything's changing!" It had the exact feel as previously, but this time it was weaker. I don't know if it was because I was talking, weaker stuff (different one this time) or weak hit. It was pleasant and loving, but it ended quickly and wasn't as great as ones before. But it ended with this feeling, that I should smoke again.


TRIP 4


I think we smoked again the day after. I don't remember this one, but it had the same feel again. Beautiful shifting reality, but no machines this time, I just could see perfection in the normal world of 3d reality. I felt presence, love, ecstasy, strong energy and healing, and invitation again.



Another several months passed, my brother's friend visited us and all 3 of us smoked. My brother visited some dimension, where abstract entity was present and it seemed like it was playing some instrument. I don't remember anything from what his friend said about her trip.


TRIP 5


Longer period of time has passed so my fear has risen too. I took a puff and closed my eyes. I saw what looked like a loading screen in a computer game, or rather screensaver. There was black or purple background and there was symbol - i think it was Tree of life (or something very similar) floating before me slowly. I was still scared to close my eyes during trip so I opened them and experienced very similar thing again. Probably there is something that I don't remember from those trips, as this is usually the case. Again, the reality changed subtly, everything was perfect as it is, love and well being came, but this time I saw like a silhouette appearing several times for a fraction of second like Tyler Durden at the beginning of Fight Club.


I forgot to add earlier that after my most immense trip to this moment I identified nature of this presence I felt as very playful, sly and funny and I called him jesterlike (back then I had not read any reports with jesters). This silhouette seemed to have something like jester cap? But it was blurry, unclear and I might have just jumped to conclusions. The nature of this character was jesterlike, but I don't know if it was really a jester, maybe not. But I felt another invitation to smoke more often, as always.



Some time after that I aquired supply of high quality changa, but again - many months passed and all previous experiences were more like a dream to me. I didn't feel like smoking. I was occupied with other things and was often smoking weed too, which made me generally dull and lethargic during that time.


Last spring I participated in kambo cleanse ritual - standard 3 times across 2 months - the worst feeling ever. However I felt better after that in many aspects. Next step was ayahuasca in summer. However, organizers said that not everyone connects with spirit of ayahuasca the first time, so they recommended performing it two days in a row. I could spare only one day for that, at that time. So I started thinking - ayahuasca is in large portion DMT, right? So, maybe it's all about DMT. I should smoke some changa day before and I'll be just fine. However, at that time I hadn't smoked for many months, maybe even year or more. And I had this quality stuff just laying around this whole time. I was scared - really terrified to do that. I don't know why I was - till that moment the only thing waiting for me on the other side was love. But, it's like a bungee jump to total unknown. Who knew what could happen there? Anything. I was afraid of having to face my fears. I've already rallied my brother and he said he has no intention of smoking that day, so I was going first and only. It took me almost 2 hours of fighting with myself to finally decide to do it.


TRIP 6


There was nothing but love waiting for me on the other side. In general it was similar to my other most intense trips so far, but it went deeper this time. I was still afraid to close my eyes, but I felt it was ok. I felt loving presence, like a friend who was happy to let me proceed with a rate I'm most comfortable with. No need to rush. I felt like I don't have to be ever afraid of doing this. The love and support was overwhelming, and ecstasy... Not one, but many different kinds of esctasy. Strong energy was flowing through me, I was shaking. I couldn't stop smiling throughout whole process. This was the world of absulute shifting perfection. I finally closed my eyes later and I was drifting through beautiful abstract spaces. Everything so perfect and pretty. I was so full of love that I couldn't stop myself from hugging my brother, despite the fact that I never do this normally. The whole experience was the most pleasant feeling of my life (as almost every trip i have). This was exactly what I wanted from this smoke. I felt like I have much much more to see and I should do it more often. Of course later I forgot about the incredibility and importance of all of this and throughout the next 6 months I did only 3 trips. Again, after you come back it's so easy to forget... Even now when I'm describing this I know that I don't know what I'm talking about. When I think about it during trip I realise it, that when I tell someone about my adventures I remember only a fraction of the magnificence of it.



Anyway, I attended this ayahuasca ritual and it turned out I was wrong thinking smoking changa will help anything. Maybe even the opposite. I felt almost nothing, despite the fact that I took 3 servings. I was surrounded with all those moaning people who were obviously experiencing something deep and me? When I was concentrating really hard I had only very faint visions, but couldn't concentrate because of this older guy beside me who was talking through his trip constantly. The next day they all had some conclusions about their life, like "I understood how I needed to stop blaming my dead parents for failures in my life." or "Now I'm 100% sure that I need to keep doing what I'm doing (painting murals) as it is my greatest excitement and the right way for me to go." I told one guy that I'm little disappointed by my experience, but I also told him about my great changa experience the day before. He said "If you really experienced something so profound, all that magnificent love and excitement - and you say like you feel it's only beginning of much more to come - how can you be disappointed now?" He was right. I wouldn't even smoke that changa if it wasn't for that ayahuasca trip the next day. I don't know when I would have found will and courage to do it again.



After some time I told my friend about what I've been through. Good friend from university from the time when I studied finance & accountancy (for me it was super boring). We met at first day and were great friends since. We used to skip lectures to smoke weed and go to the movies and finally we dropped out together (Good times! Good thing that higher education is mostly free in Poland). He's a singer, and hedonist very popular with girls. He has very developed ego - no judgement here, just stating facts - I love the guy. I told him about the heaven I experienced and all those incredible things. He became curious and wanted to try too. I warned him of course, said that he has no idea what he's getting into, that it could alter his outlook and there's no guarantee that he'll even like it - maybe just the opposite. Also, that he should have real respect for it. However, I liked the idea of introducing new people to this amazing substance and was craving for more people who could understand me. He insisted, so we arranged a meeting in his home, where he and his brother could try this.


MY FRIEND'S TRIP


He took the BIG, long puff of an experienced weed smoker. He kept it in his lungs for so long, that I started to worry. Finally, he released massive white cloud after what I thought was like half a minute. As I took the pipe from him, he whispered "So weird..." and froze with eyes open, gazing emptily at space. Drool started dripping from his mouth as his body appeared to be empty of soul. Suddenly he started vomiting loudly. Again, and again, he broke in paroxysms of regorgitation only to lie down in his own vomits. He started to bend and roll in them occasionally saying "No, no, no, no no, no!" I was terrified, as I've never heard about or seen reaction like this before. He rolled on the floor for some time evidently suffering. Sometimes he opened his eyes and looked around the room, but it was like he wasn't really there, like he wasn't really in this room. After some time he started to realise that we're there, but he was crawling, because as he later said he did not know which way gravity went. The first thing he managed to articulate was: "Brother, don't you even THINK about doing this! NEVER!" He started saying that everything looks awful, is dirty and horribly ugly. He went to the toilet and yelled "Has this room been ALWAYS like this?" We looked. Everything seemed normal. When he looked at me he was furious. He said "Rasponde, I know that I'm inhospitable right now, but..." - he was going to ask me to leave but changa wasn't done with him and he took off again. Later he started touching me and my brother saying that it's helping him anchor to this world. Gradually, he recovered after some time. He asked how much time had passed. "About 15 minutes" - we said, and he was like "WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"


For another 3 hours straight he was describing what happened.


At first it was like a rough rollercoaster ride. Lot of crazy visuals and sounds. Later he typed something like "trippy gif" in google and was showing us results. He was saying "Yeah, it was like that, but much harder. This one definitely was there. This? It's like a fairy tale version of what I've been through. Mine was HELL version. Tunnels, and all sorts of crazy visuals were there, but he said that while the elements of these were there, what he shows us on screen is nothing compared to his trip. He used lots of violent onomatopoeias in his descriptions like "wahwahwahWAHWAHWAHWAH" "SCREEEEEEECH!" "BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM" "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ" etc. At the beginning he was kinda feeling his drool, but he was helpless. He couldn't do anything about it as he was losing his senses. Any connection to his body started dissolving. He was being bended and compressed to a tiny point of counciousness, which as he described is normally located somewhere where the spine meets the brain. He felt this was where he started. Reality around him and his whole body started imploding to that point, like a super powerful compression. He had just his tiny point of counciousness (he described it as a whisp from Warcraft), and there was no sound, no colors, no thoughts, no TIME, nothing. He couldn't think verbally as there was no language. He had just his consciousness and emotion, which was fear and helplessness. Just a tiny little dot that couldn't do anything. It occured to him that his whole life, everything he knows, loves, hates and remembers, EVERYTHING - was just an illusion - like a story he created to occupy himself, to escape from this nightmarish state. He said this was the worst - he couldn't grab onto anything, because everything he ever knew turned out to be fake, even things as fundamental as his body, senses and memories. He felt like a child, who drew something on a piece of paper and that was his life. His life that he loves very much, and now he thought that he is not going to return, ever. Moreover, he remembered that he has been in this place before, before he was born. He said it was kind of an awakening, compared this to the situation when you dream and it is a pleasant dream and you're starting to wake up and you lie down for a minute or two realising that it was just a dream and remembering the "real life" you actually live. For him it was awakening like that, but it was awakening from "real life" which turned out to be dream to a nightmarish situation like that. And there was presence above him, which did not seem friendly. Moreover, they knew what he was thinking, they knew he was scared and they knew that he knows that they knew that he was scared, which was even more scary! He wanted to escape but every corridor was closing before him. There was no escape. He didn't know how, or where to escape as he was just helpless dot whith no power and no knowledge about anything, since everything he ever knew turned out to be just a dream... It was like a prison and he said he saw at some point what he described as squads of entities whith syringes and what looked like gas masks on faces. He said it felt like he spent years, like whole eternity in this situation as there was no time. For him it was hell. After a while he started to come back to our world, but he wasn't sure who he was and everything looked different. Everything was ugly, lobed and fat. Everything was round, there were no angles and no details. No borders between colors or segments of floor for example. He saw us, but he still thought that his life was an illusion. Now, he thought that he is mentally ill and we are his caretakers. He thought that he made up the story that I'm his friend and his brother is his brother because he is insane and his insanity causes him to jump between realities and most of the time he is a trapped dot of counciousness and just sometimes he gets glimpse of reality and this is one of those times. He has no idea where or when he is as he is going to go back to the nightmare soon. And it looked for him like he was going to come back there. Reality started to go crazy from time to time and everything looked like he is taking off again. So he was fumbling around between dimensions, not knowing where is the center of gravity, or even who he is exactly. Gradually he started to remember more things. When he looked like me he said he remembered something like I was shaman in another incarnation and he met me there and I gave him this and he had to live through hell because of that and he was furious at me for that. He wanted to ask me to leave, but I was the least of his problems as he was still going back and forth between realities and everything was changing and dancing around him. When he went to the toilet it looked horrible. There were no angles, everything was dirty and rusty. Washing machine looked like someone took it from junkyard for postapocaliptic movie. When he was touching us later, he said it helped him to go back to the real world. He still wasn't sure if he's going to stay here or come back there. After a while he recovered. He was so glad that he came back from it. He was really thankful for this life. He said that maybe this life is an illusion, but it's beautiful illusion. He also said that while he wasn't afraid of death before - now he is. Later he told me that maybe if he had not fought with this and just tried to accept it and allow it to happen it would not had been so bad. Some time later he told me that he is still questioning reality and is not sure what is real and what isn't and that sometimes he has nightmares about it.


He said there was nothing I could possibly say to prepare him for this. This made him question everything he ever knew and believed in about anything. The basis of his world outlook, life and everything else.


Btw - This didn't stop his brother from taking a hit 😁 But it was weak puff and he had mild non - breaktrough trip, nothing worth reporting.



That'll be it for this part. Every comment will be much appreciated. Please say what you think about my friend's experience as he still doesn't know what to think of it.


Btw the real journey is just about to begin. Hopefully I'll post next part today or tommorow!


Back
Top Bottom