Hello again!
I am so sorry for writing 1 post and disapearing for 6 months! I had challenging time followed by a period of lethargy. But it's all over now!
I can't wait to tell you what is happening to me now, but I have to start from the beginning.
In my introductory essay ( I answer the call - Introduction Essay - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus ) I mentioned that I tried to learn channeling and meditated a lot with that intention. I invited any benevolent entities that are willing to make contact. I also mentioned that the first time I smoked I hadn't realised how potent a substance DMT is.
First few trips were long time ago, so I don't remember that much, but I remember great deal of few latest (and those are also the deepest and most interesting).
TRIP 1
That was some time, maybe 3 or 4 years ago. That was dark time of weed addiction for me. I ran out of weed and was looking for something that could satisfy my craving. In my brother's drawer I found a pipe, and there was something left to smoke in it. I tried it, but I got nothing special really. Just some hightened senses. I realised thatit was changa and did a little bit of research, just how to smoke it and I was seriously doubting that it's as strong psychedelic as it is advertised in the internet.
I took one solid puff and released big cloud of white smoke. When I put down a pipe and was going to the couch, everything started to blur. I had my eyes open. I realised that the room I'm in looks completely different. I still had the same furniture placement, but each piece of furniture was replaced by futuristic, super technological advanced version of it. For example instead of a lamp, there was this really cool looking device that was also giving light. Instead of normal computer there was sci-fi supercomputer. Room looked like inside of a spaceship. Everything was clear and sharp, like in Ultra HD. Walls were covered in constantly shifting geometric symbols of pure perfection.
I was terrified. I thought: "What IS THIS?! So perfect, so divine... It's like someone is showing all of this to me. Is this safe? Maybe some malevolent entity is trying to fool and trap me by showing me all of this." I remembered my brother telling me that Changa is "not for everyone". "Maybe it's not for me? Maybe I've just exposed myself to an attack?" I felt as if someone was reading my mind. Like I couldn't hide anything. Any thought, any deepest secret and desire was known to them.
Then I felt love. This immense feeling of pure, unconditional, limitless love. My body was vibrating with powerful energy and it felt ecstatic. I've never felt like this before. I cried.
The following days I was in shock and awe. It was like all my beliefs were proven and confirmed. It's different to read about something and to experience it like that.
I tried to describe to my friend the magnificence of my experience, but he did not like how it sounded. He was disappointed in me and said that it's too bad that I had to do drugs to achieve this state. My other friend was more supportive, but he couldn't understand the meaning of what I've been through. How could you describe it with words to a person who has never done that?
After my brother's return from the foreign lands I told him about all of this. It was the first moment someone could relate to what I felt, albeit not completely since his experiences differ from mine. He said that when he was saying that it is not for everyone he didn't mean me, quite the contary. Since then he was present during almost all of my trips, which I am very grateful for.
TRIP 2
Not long after that we arranged for another smoking. Although I've had already forgotten the bulk of this first experience, this time I knew more of what I was dealing with. So I was very scared to do this. Thankfully, my brother was with me this time and he went first. He is very spiritual person being Dzogchen Buddist while I base my beliefs in big part on channelings with multidimensional entities, aliens, etc. Sacred geometry and all that stuff. Anyway, one does not exclude the other, our views can complement each other. However, I think that they may have huge influence on what we experience during trip.
This was the only time he did it with eyes open. From what he was saying after, everything went 2D, there were some beautiful Aztec - looking themes and there was a lot of cleansing and releasing of tensions, which altogether created very immense and positive experience.
Now it was my turn and I was VERY scared of what might come (as opposed to my first time, when I had no idea what I was getting into) After an hour of delaying and overpreparation I finally found courage to take a long hit and released big cloud of thick, white smoke (I always take one but huge hit, but and it always seems sufficient). I stayed with my eyes open, as I was still scared to close them, fearing what I might see there. Room quickly started to transform in most incredible way. I instantly remembered what I had forgotten after previous trip - which was most of the immensity of how everything turned all sci-fi again - amazing machines and futuristic objects replaced all furniture and items in the room - but it was changing, shifting constantly in a way which had feel of some super intelligence and ultimate perfection. This was like a fusion between super advanced technology and enlightened spirituality. The powerful feeling of love filled me completely, which was ecstatic. The most pleasant state in my entire life to that moment. I felt presence, like someone was showing this all to me. I was looking around the room in total shock, thinking "Is this for real? Is this really how things can be, is that really how things are?" And the presence sent me even more love, I felt it was laughing. "Yes! That is all real!" I felt he was making fun of my shocked state. And as everything there was different and perfect, there was something like dimensional warp surrounding my brother. He looked exactly the same as normally (only with higher resolution than real world if that makes sense), but I was able to see perfection in his normal self. It was like they wanted me to have this anchor to the real world, like I needed. His presence helped me considerably during this whole process. When trip started diminishing I layed down in a state of ecstasy. I felt energy flowing through all my body, healing all my ailments.
This trip was very similar to the previous one, but it was stronger, longer and much better received. There has been no fear like at the first time.
At the end I felt strong urge to smoke it again soon, maybe even regularly - like an invitation, like it was just the beginning and there was much more to see for me. Hovewer, I had not accepted this invitation for quite some time. After trip is over you tend to forget its immense meaning and the more time goes on it feels more and more like just a dream...
This was the start of my journey. As it went on it went more deep and crazy with each subsequent smoke - this here was nothing in comparison to what was to come. I really hope that you'll stay with me as I'm very anxious to see what you have to say to all of this.
I'll get right away to the next part. I'll post it asap. I promise I won't disappear anymore like after my first post!
The one question I have now is: Is this type of trip common? Did you experience something similar? Few of my next trips after that were very similar to these. All people I talked to (not many though) all had very different experiences from each other.
I am so sorry for writing 1 post and disapearing for 6 months! I had challenging time followed by a period of lethargy. But it's all over now!
I can't wait to tell you what is happening to me now, but I have to start from the beginning.
In my introductory essay ( I answer the call - Introduction Essay - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus ) I mentioned that I tried to learn channeling and meditated a lot with that intention. I invited any benevolent entities that are willing to make contact. I also mentioned that the first time I smoked I hadn't realised how potent a substance DMT is.
First few trips were long time ago, so I don't remember that much, but I remember great deal of few latest (and those are also the deepest and most interesting).
TRIP 1
That was some time, maybe 3 or 4 years ago. That was dark time of weed addiction for me. I ran out of weed and was looking for something that could satisfy my craving. In my brother's drawer I found a pipe, and there was something left to smoke in it. I tried it, but I got nothing special really. Just some hightened senses. I realised thatit was changa and did a little bit of research, just how to smoke it and I was seriously doubting that it's as strong psychedelic as it is advertised in the internet.
I took one solid puff and released big cloud of white smoke. When I put down a pipe and was going to the couch, everything started to blur. I had my eyes open. I realised that the room I'm in looks completely different. I still had the same furniture placement, but each piece of furniture was replaced by futuristic, super technological advanced version of it. For example instead of a lamp, there was this really cool looking device that was also giving light. Instead of normal computer there was sci-fi supercomputer. Room looked like inside of a spaceship. Everything was clear and sharp, like in Ultra HD. Walls were covered in constantly shifting geometric symbols of pure perfection.
I was terrified. I thought: "What IS THIS?! So perfect, so divine... It's like someone is showing all of this to me. Is this safe? Maybe some malevolent entity is trying to fool and trap me by showing me all of this." I remembered my brother telling me that Changa is "not for everyone". "Maybe it's not for me? Maybe I've just exposed myself to an attack?" I felt as if someone was reading my mind. Like I couldn't hide anything. Any thought, any deepest secret and desire was known to them.
Then I felt love. This immense feeling of pure, unconditional, limitless love. My body was vibrating with powerful energy and it felt ecstatic. I've never felt like this before. I cried.
The following days I was in shock and awe. It was like all my beliefs were proven and confirmed. It's different to read about something and to experience it like that.
I tried to describe to my friend the magnificence of my experience, but he did not like how it sounded. He was disappointed in me and said that it's too bad that I had to do drugs to achieve this state. My other friend was more supportive, but he couldn't understand the meaning of what I've been through. How could you describe it with words to a person who has never done that?
After my brother's return from the foreign lands I told him about all of this. It was the first moment someone could relate to what I felt, albeit not completely since his experiences differ from mine. He said that when he was saying that it is not for everyone he didn't mean me, quite the contary. Since then he was present during almost all of my trips, which I am very grateful for.
TRIP 2
Not long after that we arranged for another smoking. Although I've had already forgotten the bulk of this first experience, this time I knew more of what I was dealing with. So I was very scared to do this. Thankfully, my brother was with me this time and he went first. He is very spiritual person being Dzogchen Buddist while I base my beliefs in big part on channelings with multidimensional entities, aliens, etc. Sacred geometry and all that stuff. Anyway, one does not exclude the other, our views can complement each other. However, I think that they may have huge influence on what we experience during trip.
This was the only time he did it with eyes open. From what he was saying after, everything went 2D, there were some beautiful Aztec - looking themes and there was a lot of cleansing and releasing of tensions, which altogether created very immense and positive experience.
Now it was my turn and I was VERY scared of what might come (as opposed to my first time, when I had no idea what I was getting into) After an hour of delaying and overpreparation I finally found courage to take a long hit and released big cloud of thick, white smoke (I always take one but huge hit, but and it always seems sufficient). I stayed with my eyes open, as I was still scared to close them, fearing what I might see there. Room quickly started to transform in most incredible way. I instantly remembered what I had forgotten after previous trip - which was most of the immensity of how everything turned all sci-fi again - amazing machines and futuristic objects replaced all furniture and items in the room - but it was changing, shifting constantly in a way which had feel of some super intelligence and ultimate perfection. This was like a fusion between super advanced technology and enlightened spirituality. The powerful feeling of love filled me completely, which was ecstatic. The most pleasant state in my entire life to that moment. I felt presence, like someone was showing this all to me. I was looking around the room in total shock, thinking "Is this for real? Is this really how things can be, is that really how things are?" And the presence sent me even more love, I felt it was laughing. "Yes! That is all real!" I felt he was making fun of my shocked state. And as everything there was different and perfect, there was something like dimensional warp surrounding my brother. He looked exactly the same as normally (only with higher resolution than real world if that makes sense), but I was able to see perfection in his normal self. It was like they wanted me to have this anchor to the real world, like I needed. His presence helped me considerably during this whole process. When trip started diminishing I layed down in a state of ecstasy. I felt energy flowing through all my body, healing all my ailments.
This trip was very similar to the previous one, but it was stronger, longer and much better received. There has been no fear like at the first time.
At the end I felt strong urge to smoke it again soon, maybe even regularly - like an invitation, like it was just the beginning and there was much more to see for me. Hovewer, I had not accepted this invitation for quite some time. After trip is over you tend to forget its immense meaning and the more time goes on it feels more and more like just a dream...
This was the start of my journey. As it went on it went more deep and crazy with each subsequent smoke - this here was nothing in comparison to what was to come. I really hope that you'll stay with me as I'm very anxious to see what you have to say to all of this.
I'll get right away to the next part. I'll post it asap. I promise I won't disappear anymore like after my first post!
The one question I have now is: Is this type of trip common? Did you experience something similar? Few of my next trips after that were very similar to these. All people I talked to (not many though) all had very different experiences from each other.