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N,N-DMT tripreport: an entity starts shouting (first time)

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Rising Star
Almost a year I have a tiny bag with some N,N-dimethyltryptamine, after years of procrastination. I have always been interested in the entheogenic effects of DMT. But the speed with which DMT strikes has always scared me a bit.

Actually, I was already waiting for 8 years for the right time to smoke DMT. Finally, that moment had come. Before me are some yellowish crystals. I’ve made my own smoking device ‘The Machine’ to be able to optimally vaporise the DMT.

The Machine

As most of you on this forum will probably know, The Machine is a glass bottle which has a hole in the bottom. The neck of the bottle is filled with steel wool that has been stripped from it’s coating by heating it over a gas stove. Inside two tufts of steel wool there are some DMT crystals. 
This device helps to carefully evaporate DMT without burning it. The trick is to get enough DMT-smoke inside, and keep it in for some time. But that’s sound more easy than it is.

Right after I managed to drill a hole in the bottom of the glass bottle, I run towards my bedroom to try it out immediately. The steel wool was already waiting. I just scooped some of the DMT inside The Machine, maybe somewhere between 50 milligrams and 100 milligrams. I thought that would allow me to smoke the home-made pipe several times.

A quick start

I quickly closed the curtains of my room, set up atmospherical lights and took seat right in front of my painting in the shape of a large burning buddha. I wanted to put on some music, but I totally forgot to do so in the heat of the moment. I was rushing to try out the pipe. 

I keep the flame of a lighter about 15 centimeters below the steel wool that is inside the neck of the bottle. At the same time I’m inhaling air to get the pipe flowing. At the first toke there’s only a small amount of smoke. I feel a clear low-frequency vibration going through my body. No visuals yet.

The punch

I try a second toke. Slowly I breathe in through The Machine. More smoke is coming. I try to keep it in for about 20 seconds. At the moment I start to exhale, some colorful visuals are appearing in my peripheral vision. I make myself ready for the third toke, that should launch me to whatever lies above.

Just before taking the third toke, a thought is passing “oh, you’re smoking DMT now, right? Weird that I’m actually doing this.” But exactly at that time; a thick greyish smoke is filling the bottle. I suck in about half of the smoke, and quickly put away The Machine.

Immediately my painting starts to move around and morph in different shapes. It looks like the entire thing is made up from a few pencil strikes. The Buddha seems to step out of the painting. At the same time a hear a voiceless shouting in my head: “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! STOP USING DRUGS!” 

The visuals are really intens. I can only see the Buddha figure, moving around in my vision. I start to panic a bit, and try to close my eyes. “It’s DMT, it will only lasts for twenty minutes, you will become normal again”, I say to myself. I can hardly focus on the visuals, which are very beautiful. 
At the same time, the invisible entity continues shouting in my mind. “Just throw away the other typtamines as well! They're nothing of your concern”, it tells me. I can’t tell if it’s my own thoughts, or that there’s actually a conscious being trying to communicate with me.

I try to focus on not panicking. But at the same time I forget to breathe. I feel myself turning red. My forehead is starting to sweat. And then I realise I haven’t taken a breath since my last toke. I start hyperventilating. Luckily, with each breath I feel the anxiety leaving my body more and more. Too bad the visuals are also fading.

A critical note

After a few minutes I’m totally calm again. But I still can’t really enjoy the last remaining visuals. I wonder what actually happened. Why did I panic? At the same time I’m wondering why I’m using these drugs. I really don’t know. Some sort of combination of curiousity and flight behavior?

I keep asking myself these questions. Emotions seems to be much more clear than normally. At the same time I feel like I’m disconnected from the feeling. I can analyse them, instead of living them. I keep wondering why I had to smoke DMT.

Soon I decide I just had a negative experience. Maybe some would call it a ‘bad trip’. I don’t really like that word. More so, I remember that DMT’s function is to pass on spiritual of entheogenic messages. I was looking for that. So who knows. Maybe I just had to ask myself why exactly I was using drugs by myself in my room.

When looking back at this experience, I think I started way too hastefully with this trip. I was alone in my room, which was quite dark. I didn’t turn on music. I wasn’t even planning on using The Machine indoors. But my enthousiasm for the self-made pipe made me over-confident. I believe I have been disrespectful to the DMT-entities, and that’s why I got kicked in the butt.
Don't feel bad about it, sometimes 'bad' trips happen. I put that in quotes because one may be able to learn things from them.

I like to take time and reflect after such things.

You don't seem disrespectful to me.

Take your time. I think becoming and observer and accepting what comes is what the hard experiences teach. Easier said than done, but interestingly the transition can be done instantly sometimes.

These things sometimes take courage. A wise man once said that nature loves courage. I think nature also likes being contemplated.

Courageous contemplation is not straightforward when one is thrust into Infiniti. But we can try.
Put it down for awhile and see how you feel about it. Nothing wrong with taking a break. You don't ever have to go back to hyperspace ever again. If you feel like DMT is 'doing drugs' then perhaps it is time to take a break.

Suggestion... Intent.. Find a good reason to go in there. Don't go unless you know why... otherwise it is just recreational. Be it spiritual, a soul journey, contacting entities for information, personal growth, learning something about the true nature of reality, whatever you need... etc.. Make sure if has a purpose. Don't worry about music and all the rest. Intent is the most important aspect of DMT I feel. Otherwise it is like knocking on the wrong door, those who answer the door were not expecting you and you may be simply interrupting. Your reception will be cold and you will be turned away.

I think when we have an intention we create an invitation. We create a purpose for the visit. When I do this I get excited to go and see what the outcome will be. I am ready for anything that comes because I asked for it. Be careful for what you ask for. You may very well get it. Just make sure it is a pure intent and you will be able to handle the difficulties that present themselves as your intent will provide a focal point throughout your journey.

Not sure if that is helpful. Just some insights as I too have had difficult journeys. Brush the dirt off and go back when you are ready. It can become beautiful again. Just give it some time.
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