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new years brew.

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Rising Star
Senior Member
OG Pioneer
Today i took a very potent brew i made. first i took 2 grams of a caapi 50:1 extract that would be equal to 100 grams of yellow caapi vine. Then i took a brew that consisted of 65 grams of chacruna and 15 to 20 grams of chaliponga and when it had cooled, i used this brew to make a MHRB cold water infusion, using 25 grams of MHRB. I also added a significant amount of mate, about one handfull of it. I added cat's claw and a litle amount of gotu kola, for remembering.

The come-up was slower than i was used to with brews this potent.
But suddenly there where several fractals that interfered with eachother although they existed in different dimensions or layers. They completely encompassed me with colors, extremely bright and with extreme detail. It was like when you throw rocks in the water and you have these waves, but then like there where multiple layers of water surface on top of eachother with on each layer different rocks thrown is and different wave patterns, but still they all where connected somehow.
The fractals sometimes formed cat-like creatures flying towards me, or giant faces that became tunnels when they swallowed me.
My hard broke open and i realized how much i love this live.
there where spiralling cords, breaking through all these layers of fractals, piercing through them.
Everything in my live became clear to me. The relationships i've had, my childhood, the relationships with my family. I cried. I felt how selfish i often had been, all the times i didn't think of others. I felt joy about how much love i received and i have been able to give.
the generations where like a web, a fractal, not in space but in time.
everything became one and i totally dissolved in all the love i felt pooring through everything, from the texture of the universe itself. I would have feared losing my mind if i would not have felt a strength inside like i have never felt before.
The first thing i did when i came down again, was, still half fractalized, calling my mother and telling her how much i loved her.
that sounds like you had one of THOSE experiences..realizing how selfish you have been..and then needing to show the people you care about how much you care about them..im happy for you!!
SWIM is readying himself, for ayahuasca. He told me that he feels deeply that this is the kind of experience that he needs to work through.
It IS healing. Something this powerfull forces you to be honest to yourself and to life itself as well. This alone would make it very healing.
There was another trip, about a year ago, where i learnt that surrender and resistance are in a sense the same, in that they have the same source; you can never realy surrender if you don't have it in you, to fight as well. If you can resist, then you can also surrender. Both are a deliberate choice that take courage and strength, both are the opposite of just sitting and watching from a distance.
That was a very helpfull lesson for my surrender to the light that came over me this time. If i wouldn't have learnt that lesson then this would have been a very scary and horrible experience in both how powerfull it was and in how deep it went.
polytrip said:
Both are a deliberate choice that take courage and strength, both are the opposite of just sitting and watching from a distance.
What do you mean by watching from a distance? Is this were you pull yourself out and stand as an observer, instead of actively engaging the experience?
It has to do with giving yourself totally to the experience, to totally let yourself go.
The opposite is to experience it as if you're watching a TV-show or as if it's just a another thrill.
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