Justinejuicer
Rising Star
I had my first dmt trip yesterday. The ceremony was conducted by some spiritual folks with lots of experience. My husband went first. He was in pure love and beauty, he ended up looping for 3 hours telling Donald trump he loved him etc which got pretty annoying to be honest. Donald Donald Donald I love you Donald isn't it beautiful, repeat...Then it was my turn. I snorted the powder and it burned. Then everything simply turned off and it's like I was asleep. The few times I came back enough to think, I thought, this isn't working, when will I experience something? And then back to nothing, which wasn't even a sense of nothing but literally being asleep with no thoughts. I have no memory of it other than 2 times I puked. I was told I puked a lot more than that and I was rolling and moving around tons. They had to pick me up and put me back on the mattress dozens of times. Meanwhile my jeans were falling down and my shirt was all riding up and they tried to pull my jeans up for me. This is the visual I'm left with. I was sent to a herbal bath which was scorching hot. The helper told me the water wasn't too hot and left. Maybe she'd had enough of me after all the rolling around. I couldn't lie down for how hot it was. It was hard to figure out the cold water tap in that state. I went back to the nothing, kind of a void. During more awake moments I also remember thinking about my kids and thinking I should not be doing this. I also thought, this was my husband's idea. I tried to be open and wanted to get something out of it but it was not to be. Feeling disappointed with the whole thing and wish I hadn't done it. I've done acid and mushrooms lots of times when I was younger and it was good. I asked about the fact that I had no memory of it and they said the memories would filter back over time. I really don't know what to make of it. What was happening with me when I was rolling and writhing.