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[NSFT] Can a god complex and hate spiral be counteracted?

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Hyper Turtle

Hyper Turtle

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I wonder if any of you have experience or thoughts on when and how we can react when a situation like this is building up? Can we help people who think they're god and dig themselves a rage-hole?

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I'm having a sad few days.

A friend of mine is lost. Stuck in a dark place of hate and delusions of power. Any attempts to get him out of there just lead to inclusion in his hate.

There were several setbacks in his recent life. Yet he seemed to be handling it quite well. He ditched alcohol, then kratom, he built things and made videos documenting it. We were in a chat group together, which he extensively used for venting. Sometimes it was a bit much, but we all accepted it because we thought it was helping him. Sometimes it was even funny.

I don't remember the first time he mentioned he was actually Jesus. Over time, the ranting increased, he used his human perspective less and spoke from the supposed god perspective more, and he formed a habit of wishing death upon a number of people. It got to the point where it impacted my sleep and kept me from tripping - because my chat home was being poisoned and because i was worried for him. Most of the other group members simply showed up less and less (which had been my reaction to previous Jesuses i met, too). So i eventually spoke up. The first time, i just made a joke or two trying to transform the mood. The second time, i addressed the death wishing directly and politely asked to stop that. The third time we clashed pretty hard, as you'll see in the attached image.

A few hours after the clash, i deleted all my messages and left the group. The others later made him leave and added me back, which both was against my will, but so be it. That's why my posts are added back into the screenshots from my memory.

He's had similar outbursts before, left the group and later came back apologising and ashamed (which i am not a fan of apologies or shame. All i want is for people to try and be decent going forward). So my assumption was that he'd be feeling bad about it this time, too.

I wrote a short email saying that i'll write a long email soon. He replied he was glad that i wrote, and that i should join some other group for talk or do email him. I wrote a long email, opening my heart a lot. Which he deleted unread, and rather than at least telling me that directly, he posted in another group which someone else forwarded to me: "HT wrote me some long email. I deleted it. I'm done with his shit. He can be him away from me."

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So yeah, well done Mr. WXY, you wasted a few hours of my time on purpose and tried to cause maximum pain by way of the ultimate idgaf. You knew it was gonna be relayed. Tipping my hat. Thing is, i'm not hard. I'm a cloud. You can hit me as hard as you want, there will be no lasting damage. You did successfully get rid of me in your life though. Mission accomplished.
 

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The following is about half of the long email i sent. I do replicate it here, not for WXY to read it (i mean, do if you wanna, i don't care), but so i have a link i can give the next Jesus that crosses my path (why do they keep coming?), so i don't have to explain my stance again.

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Nothing in here is meant as an attack. The sole intention here is to give you insight into my head.

Firstly, i wanna apologise for saying some of what i said while you were tripping hard – especially the «i don’t care if it annoys you». It’s not my fault, i didn’t know you were tripping. But if i had known, i would’ve waited with that stuff until after your comedown.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether you’re joking or serious. Or half joking. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what you mean, because you often use ominous language and talk around things without naming or explaining the actual things.

About being Jesus/God, i believe that you are not joking. Which is a bit difficult for me because idk how you want me to react.

Here is my world view / belief:
There is consciousness. It is one, and that totality i sometimes call god. It is also subdivided into many – you, me, the snail on the apple tree, the sun, etc. I like to use the metaphor of a sea. God is the sea, and we are drops. It isn’t good, or bad, or anything. It is all things and none. It just is. The division into drops is not total – while it is meaningful in some contexts to view us as separate, we still are one.

As you know, i do not believe that any of the biblical stuff is true. Idk whether the abrahamic God exists or not, but i am certain that it’s not what i would call god. Maybe ‘a god’ at best, more likely just a vengeful demon. Not the creator of my universe or earth or humans. If it exists, it’s a drop like you and me.

Now Jesus i’m not sure what to think about. Maybe a historical person. Maybe especially aware of god. Maybe possessed by the abrahamic God. Maybe both. Maybe something completely different. Also a drop, also a human.

I am fully aware that my world view might be false (in an infinite number of ways) – something that distinguishes me from most people. I used very definite language not because i’m certain to be right (i’m not), but because that’s what i actually perceive to be the truth. It is my belief, held with a similar strength as a true believer of any religion.
I have zero intentions of converting anyone to it though, nor am i open to be converted to a different belief. I will adjust my view according to my own judgement of new evidence, and nothing else. And my standards for evidence are pretty strict.

So, about you being Jesus, idk if it’s true, and i don’t feel that it necessarily matters to me. For me you are a friend. It is hard for me to believe, but if it’s important for you, i will. I can even call you Jesus if that’s what you want (I hope not though :).
I can’t however combine either of these things with the implications/connotations it would have for christians. I can’t accept anyone as a/the messiah, because that concept has no place in my world view at all. Nor does the concept of guru (unrelated sidenote).

In short, there’s nothing that changes for me whether someone actually is Jesus or not. (I say someone because you’re not the first i met.) It’s just a name, and maybe a few interesting stories if you guys have like past life memories and stuff. And if it's a delusion, i can live with that too. We're all a little crazy.

What strikes me though is that you seem happier and are funnier when you’re not taking that perspective. When you are speaking from there, you seem to always want to send someone into a fractal death spiral. Now idk if there’s causation or which way it would go, but i def see correlation between the Jesus and the grumpy.

I get that we need to vent sometimes. It’s been a part of your presence in the group always, and not only did i not complain, i also didn’t mind. The meteor thing i found pretty funny actually. I also liked the fractal death spiral the first few times i heard it. Basically, i found all that stuff funny as long as i thought it was more joke than not.

Lately though, meaning the past weeks to months, i don’t think you’re joking anymore. And venting sometimes, has pretty much become venting always. Which suggests to me that the venting isn’t working as intended anymore. Instead of getting shit out of your system, it’s now intensifying the shit, kinda keeping you locked in a frustration trance.
Tripping frequently might not really help that situation – you know, mindset, the basics :)

Now, you know that this kinda thing is hard to bear. For someone not close, it’s just annoying. For someone close, it’s that plus it hurts to see a friend in such a state, plus some of what is said may be hurtful in itself.

But then there’s the added dimension of the power of thoughts and words, of attention and focus. When we think or say things, we send an impulse to the universe. When we give our attention and focus to something, we give it energy. I’m pretty sure we both believe this. Personally i believe that this is kinda like a radio transmission – the signal is strongest at the sender. So when you fantasize about someone dying painfully, even if the motivation for doing so is to make the world better, you strengthen the hate, not the harmony. And you take the worst hit yourself. Also consider that this might be untrue entirely, in which case you’d be the only one to take the hit.

In case you’re still wondering «why be nice?», this is very much it.

Now if you are Jesus and what they say about his/your powers is true, this is even more important to consider than if you’re ‘just’ a regular human! Just saying. With power does come responsibility.

I don’t fear you (or anything/one), so i don’t particularly have a problem with you telling me to die, 5+ times, at the height of your trip. It’s not nice, that’s for sure, and certainly not something i’ll stick around to hear more of.
 
Man that sucks, I am sorry you had to deal with this but good on you for actually confronting him in a constructive manor, his choice to do with that as he wants but you did a good human thing and a good friend thing.

Not all friends will call you out on your b.s. the good ones will. Your email was very well written and expressed, shame he didnt take the time to read it.
 
Sometimes the best service we can do to the other person is to let them go. We can't know how it will result, but it's the sign that the person needs to take responsibility of themselves. The opportunity to grow lies therein.
 
Delusions of Grandeur is serious.
I cant read the image but sounds like bi-polar or perhaps schizophrenia and your friend needs help.

Does he have episodes of mania?
Does he babble on with loosley associated words in sentences at times?

Edit: I agree you shouldn't have to put up with it and you're better to remove yourself from that friendship for the sake of your own mental health.
 
Had to learn this lesson recently as well. People are responsible to themselves. Being a good person and trying to teach people is admirable but not at the determent to your own mental health. I think that you did what you could for this individual but let him learn his lessons. Life is too short to waste time with no positive outcomes (indeed only negative from what I have read).
 
Thanks everyone <3

Yeah this one friendship is beyond repair, i know and am starting to accept that. He does need help, and it can't be mine anymore. For both of our sakes i guess.

I made the thread because i hope to somehow be better prepared for the next time i see someone move towards such a state of mind. And also so maybe other people who have never encountered anything like that, recognize it when it happens and can either help better or retract earlier, before it hurts that much.
 
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