That was surely a harrowing experience, op, glad you were able to make it through relatively unscathed. I haven't read all the responses, but it seems a little glossed over, the difficult trip you had leading up to the number thing. Have you come to any conclusions regarding the hellish visions that persisted for so long?
While i don't proscribe to the belief in an external deity that controls my fate or experience, when i have encountered 'hellish', evil or demonic feeling presences in hyperspace, i too invoke holy names. Typically names associated with kabala and the sephirot because that is where i have done the most research, and it works, usually rapidly pulling me out of the experience. I really put it all down to manifesting various aspects of my psyche, not demonic or angelic or deific beings. That is not to say there isn't a beautiful, holy, divine, conscious presence behind this whole universe, imo, but the unfolding and manifesting of whatever potential that exists is due to one's actions and efforts.
As for the topic of numbers...I have a thing with the number 138. I see it on license plates all the time, it's amazing how many times i glance at the clock at 1:38. The other day, i bought several items that rang up to $1.38. Doctor's offices, people's apartments i visit, street addresses, you name it- 138,138,138... Why is this number so prevalent in my life? Is this some kind of signal from the Vast Active Living Intelligence System? No, it's quite banal, It's a misfits song i loved as a little punk rock kid-'we are 138'. It's in reference to the movie THX138 by George Lucas ( which was his car's license plate number at the time he made it, apparently). Because I'm 'tuned' to this number, I'm struck every time i see it, and it sticks in NY consciousness. It seems remarkable because hey, it's a three digit number and the odds must be pretty high to run across it so frequently... right? Well, not really, when you consider the vast amount of numbers you see on a daily basis, there's no way that one can really pay attention to the vast majority of them; they just fly through one's consciousness, in and out. But when i see 138, it sticks in my head, and validates and reinforces the ubiquity of 138 in my head.
There are vast, awe inspiring mysteries that comprise this world, the universe that it's matrixed in, and the human consciousness that ponders it. The divine touches us in all kinds of ways that we don't perceive and when we do, we are often moved in ways that are impossible to describe. Sometimes when one has been moved in such a way, they become more open to such things as mystical or psychic occurrences. However the nature of these other worldly experiences is such that they can be mistaken for normal everyday things, and vice versa, one can mistake a simple occurrence like i describe with the 138 example into divine communication when it's clearly not. That's a one way ticket to heavy medication. The problem with spiritual awareness is belief and since there aren't yardsticks that measure the divine, we rely on human assertions of it's nature which are wrong if only because each experience is subjective and therefore indefinable. Maybe try to look at your entire experience from a am objective view as possible and you'll gain some insight into the the evil presence, etc.
Peace to you friend, PAX IN LVX
