Before I begin, I must say that these are all simply suggestions and entirely up to the discretion of the others whether my suggestions are to be employed or discarded. I know a lot of people have put some serious time and effort into this and I by no means want to appear that I’ve sauntered in here without welcome only to dictate what should be changed, what should stay and what should go. Here are my thoughts:
Consistency
Very important here. Say something once and stick to it; continuity and consistency is very important if we want people to learn and take the studying of this book seriously. We don't want people flipping back pages and seeing that we are saying two different things on the same topic – our information will simply lose any credibility; and all our efforts will have been wasted. I stress - it's very important that we reconcile any discrepancies before this is released into the world.
For example - is this a
guide, a
handbook, a
course, a
course handbook, a
manual?
Many different terms have been applied. I like to think of this as a '
course handbook' as it is originally stated in the title. It gives a ring of legitimacy and professionalism, that a book such as this so desperately needs if it is to be taken seriously by any sceptics, who's hands it may - and will - fall into. So this is a '
course handbook' and can be abbreviated for convenience to simply '
handbook' as opposed to '
manual' or '
guide'.
Manual sounds to me like linear instructions; one way only.
Guide sounds too vague; and besides, no one's
guiding you anywhere!
Capitalisation.
It’s bit of a messy business really.
There is no single set of rules for capitalising words in a title. Most importantly, it's a matter of selecting one convention and sticking to it; consistency is important. That being said, there are two main styles: Down Style (sentence case) and Up Style (title case).
Down style: The conventional way of using capital letters in a sentence - that is, capitalizing only the
first word and any
proper nouns.
In most newspapers in the U.S. (and in virtually all publications in the U.K.), Down Style (sentence case) is the standard form for headlines.
Up style: One of the conventions used for capitalizing the words in a
title,
subtitle,
heading, or
headline: capitalize the
first word, the
last word, and all
major words in between.
Personally, I think we should stick to 'Down Style' as there is far less room for error - i.e. with Up Style, one must try to determine what is considered a
major word and what is of
lesser importance; all sorts of funny rules come in to place.
With Down Style, one simply writes in the conventional sense.
Additionally, I think Down Style has a look of professionalism, and Up Style reminds me a lot of tabloid newspapers and high school projects.
I've decided not to add notes to describe why I think some things should be changed, if anyone would like to know my reasoning behind any one of my supposed 'corrections', please ask and I will justify. Many of my suggestions - I feel - bring more clarity, punctuate better and give the sentences greater impact and better readability.
Some things I was tempted to leave as is, due to personal identifications with certain wording. But I have decided to show my edits so as to be available for others to decide.
For example, I don't regard certain plants/substances as either an '
entheogen' or labelled any other way for that matter (
oneirogen,
empathogen etc. ).
In my opinion, plants/substances can be used
entheogenically but I do not see that a plant/substance can be considered as simply, an '
entheogen'.
My reasoning?
Entheogenicity (the quality of
being what the adjective or noun describes) is something I feel is about attitude, intention and reasoning behind the taking of a plant/substance.
I believe that all psychoactives can be used '
entheogenically', with emphasis on some substances being far more effective than others - regardless of whether they fit the classic description of an '
entheogen'. Conversely, and most importantly,
just because someone takes an entheogen does not necessarily mean it will act like one; this is all about intention, belief, attitude and reasoning.
I understand that this could mean a whole lot of restructuring in a lot of different phrases in this handbook - so I have made an edit in the opening chapter discussing this important wording. I think the difference between
entheogen and
entheogenic use is very important.
In case I have given the wrong impression, by no means do I want to encourage people using destructive drugs, and thus have them justifying it by saying they were using it 'entheogenically'. I, and hopefully all the other Nexians, simply want people to be able to choose the best drugs for entheogenic use, namely, the plant teachers that we have come to know and love that have come through as
substances for legitimate entheogenic use time and time again.
One more thing: all though it appears that I have edited nearly every sentence - I have in fact skipped sentences which I feel need no editing. If I seem to have 'missed' a sentence in my suggestions below, it is merely because I feel it should be left the way it is, not because I have forgotten it. Capisce?
Is that enough of a preface/disclaimer? Phew!
Let's begin!
---------------------------------------------
Title Page
The Open Hyperspace Traveler
A course handbook for the safe and responsible managing of entheogens
Should be:
The Open Hyperspace Traveler
A course handbook for safe and responsible management of entheogens
Or
The Open Hyperspace Traveler Handbook
A course handbook for safe, responsible - and entheogenic - use of plant psychoactives.
--
Introduction
1. Why this Manual
Should be:
1. Why this course handbook?
--
1st paragraph:
1st sentence:
Welcome to the Open Hyperspace Traveler Course.
Should be:
Welcome to the Open Hyperspace Traveler course handbook.
2nd sentence:
If you are reading this, you presumably have an interest in entheogenic drugs - psychoactive compounds found in plants and fungi - often referred to as psychedelics or simply entheogens.
Should be:
If you are reading this, you presumably have an interest in the entheogenic use of certain psychoactive compounds found in a range of different plants and fungi. These are often referred to as
psychedelics or simply
entheogens.
For clarity, an
entheogen is a plant or substance that is psychoactive and can be used in a beneficial way for healing and growth; psychologically and spiritually.
[EDIT FOR LATER CHAPTER: will need to change green box in Hyperspace Chapter to match this slightly modified definition]
For the sake of convenience, we will now refer to these plants and substances as
entheogens.
3rd sentence:
In this manual we have tried to collect and provide unbiased information backed by both experience and science on the various entheogens out there, on how they can be used safely, responsibly and beneficially, what risks they present and how to possibly handle any problems that may surface when using them.
Should be:
In this manual, we have tried to collect and provide unbiased information backed by both experience and science on the various entheogens out there. It will discuss what risks they present and how they can be used safely, responsibly and beneficially - and how to possibly handle any problems that may surface when using them.
--
2nd paragraph:
1st sentence:
This manual is not meant as an encouragement to use entheogens, which sadly are still illegal and seen by many as far more dangerous than science indicates.
Should be:
This manual is not meant as an encouragement to use entheogens - which have been made illegal in many countries - but to promote the safe practice of substances that unfortunately are seen by many as far more dangerous than the science indicates.
2nd sentence:
It rather is meant to fill a void, a need for education and systematic approaches to these substances, in order to reduce the harm that can be caused by uncontrolled use and ignorance.
Should be:
It is to fill a void; the immense lack of accurate information available has called for the need of this handbook to provide a systematic approach to these substances in order to reduce the harm that can be caused by uncontrolled use and ignorance.
3rd sentence
In this aspect, prohibition seems to have failed.
Should be:
Prohibition has failed.
4th sentence:
Entheogens are and most likely always will remain available, and by making entheogens and other so called drugs unavailable from reliable sources, prohibition has encouraged distribution of unreliable products with questionable contents and purity, and possible severe health risks.
Should be:
Despite this suppression, entheogens are and most likely will always remain available. By making entheogens and other drugs unavailable from reliable sources, prohibition has inadvertently encouraged the illegal distribution of substances of questionable contents and purity; carrying with it - as has been seen - the increased likelihood of severely jeopardising a persons' health, financing international criminal syndicates and the countless incarcerations of people for drug-related victimless crimes.
5th sentence:
Additionally, prohibition has caused a great amount of misinformation, or simply a void of information concerning these substances.
Should be:
Additionally, the suppression of information about drugs - through prohibition - has led to a culture of misinformation regarding drugs.
As humans are naturally curious about drugs, most people at some stage usually try some sort of minor, yet, illegal substance.
The problem is, that people will discover that this "illegal drug" (such as cannabis) doesn't do all the horrible things they were told.
6th sentence:
This has lead people interested in exploring them coming to harm or being traumatized due to ignorance.
Should be:
This skepticism is certainly fair, but it can unfortunately lure people into a false sense of security regarding a whole range of potentially impure, destructive, physically addicting, and downright dangerous substances which can result in serious harm or trauma simply due to ignorance.
--
Paragraph 3:
2nd sentence:
The experience of many explorers of these compounds and scientific studies both indicate that much of the harm that we see being caused by entheogens can be reduced, or even entirely avoided, by following a few basic steps concerning safety and planning.
Should be:
The experience of many explorers of these compounds - and scientific studies - indicate that much of the harm that we see being caused by entheogens can be reduced. They can even be entirely avoided - simply by following a few basic steps concerning
safety and
planning.
3rd sentence:
At the same time, more and more recent scientific studies keep indicating that one can actually benefit from using entheogens in certain situations something that the explorers of these compounds have been claiming for a long time.
Should be:
In fact, more and more scientific studies are now indicating that - in certain circumstances - one can actually benefit from using entheogens; something that explorers of these compounds have been claiming for a long time.
4th sentence:
In order to prevent more harm and to help people benefit from using entheogens, in this manual we provide easy to read information so the future explorers also called travelers can use them safely and responsibly.
Should be:
In order to prevent harm and to help people realise the benefits from using entheogens, this handbook provides easy to read information so that aspiring
psychonauts (explorers and travelers of the mind) can use them safely - and responsibly.
--
2. For Whom Is the Course Intended
Should be:
2. For whom is the course intended
--
1st paragraph:
1st sentence:
This course is primarily directed at those that wish to explore entheogens themselves and those that wish to assist others in exploring them.
Should be:
This course is primarily directed at those who wish to explore entheogens themselves and those who wish to assist others in exploring them.
2nd sentence:
It contains information that can be valuable and interesting for both novice travelers and seasoned explorers, like procedures for testing substance purity, management of emergencies and techniques for integrating and benefiting from the experiences.
Should be:
As it contains procedures for testing substance purity, techniques for integrating and benefiting from an experience and how to manage an emergency or crisis situation, it is both valuable and relevant for novice travelers and seasoned explorers alike.
--
2nd paragraph:
1st sentence
Even if you feel you know all there is to know about entheogens, you can give this manual
to friends who would like to learn about the experience, and could use extra pointers and
ideas to benefit more from it.
Should be:
Even if you feel you know all there is to know about entheogens, it's essential to remember that we can all use some extra pointers and ideas to help benefit even more from them. You can even give this handbook to friends who may like to learn about the experience.
--
3rd paragraph:
1st sentence:
If you are not interested in exploring entheogens yourself but have been asked to assist someone who would like to try them, this manual will provide you with plenty of information that can help you be a good sitter, that can help you share responsibility and keep your friend safe.
Should be:
If you are not interested in exploring entheogens yourself, but have been asked to assist someone who would like to try them, this handbook will provide you with plenty of information that can help you be a good
sitter, help you share responsibility and keep your friend safe.
--
4th paragraph:
1st sentence:
Finally, if you are not interested in exploring entheogens yourself but know someone who is and you need to know whether you should worry or not, this manual will provide you relevant information about how entheogens work, actual risks, possible benefits, and plenty of considerations so you can make up your mind on the issue.
Should be:
Finally, if you are not interested in exploring entheogens yourself but are concerned about someone who is, this manual will provide you relevant information about how entheogens work, the potential risks involved, an understanding of why people take entheogens, and plenty of considerations so you can make an informed opinion about the entheogenic use of plant substances.
--
3. Course Structure
Should be:
3. Course structure
--
1st paragraph:
1st sentence:
The Open Hyperspace Traveler Course Manual is built up as a course.
Should be:
The Open Hyperspace Traveler Course Handbook is designed as a course.
--
3rd paragraph:
1st sentence:
At the end of every chapter there is a knowledge review containing several multiple choice questions that may be answered as exercises for the interested reader.
Should be:
For interested readers, the end of every chapter contains a
knowledge review with several multiple choice questions.
2nd sentence:
If you are completing the course as part of the entheogenic university program the knowledge reviews have to be taken online [here].
Should be:
If you are completing the course as part of the Entheogenic University Program, the
knowledge reviews have to be taken online [here].
--
4th paragraph:
1st sentence:
Following the knowledge review, each section suggests exercises to help create awareness and routine when planning a safe and responsible use of entheogens.
Should be:
Following the
knowledge review, each section suggests exercises to help create awareness and routine when planning a safe and responsible use of entheogens.
2nd sentence:
None of the exercises involve or encourage using entheogens; they rather ask about hypothetical situations the reader has to evaluate, or tasks the reader would perform if they were planning an entheogenic journey.
Should be:
None of the exercises involve or encourage using entheogens; rather, they ask about hypothetical situations the reader has to evaluate, or tasks the reader would perform if they - or a friend - were planning an entheogenic journey.
--
4. How to Use this Manual
Should be:
4. How to use this handbook
--
1st Paragraph:
1st sentence:
In general, the information presented in the chapters and sections builds upon each other and is meant to be read and studied in the order given.
Should be:
Generally speaking, the information presented within each chapter and section builds upon from the last and is meant to be read and studied in the order given.
2nd sentence:
However, it is not strictly necessary to read all prior sections in order to understand any one section in particular.
Should be:
It is not strictly necessary, however, to read all prior sections in order to understand any one section in particular.
3rd sentence:
If you already are an experienced/knowledgeable traveler you may find sections useful for quick reference, rather than studying them in their full length.
Should be:
If you are already an experienced/knowledgeable traveler, you may find certain sections more useful as a quick reference - rather than studying them in their entirety.
4th sentence:
In order to complete the OHT Course with the Entheogenic University all knowledge reviews must be completed online.
Should be:
In order to complete the OHT Course with the Entheogenic University, all
knowledge reviews must be completed online.
--
2nd paragraph:
1st sentence:
If you are new to entheogens and want to try them for the first time, we recommend reading the whole manual before.
Should be:
If you are new to entheogens and want to try them for the first time, we recommend reading and studying the entire manual first.
2nd sentence:
You will find lots of information for getting the most from your experience(s) and avoiding unnecessary risks.
Should be:
The information in the handbook will ensure that you get the most out of your experience(s), and also avoid any unnecessary and easily preventable risk.
---------------------------------------
This is all I have done so far - please let me know what you think so far. I'd like to gauge some sort of reaction before I continue!
