Electro Monk
Rising Star
fellow psychonauts,
i feel its time to attempt to put my first contact with dmt into words. if i say attempt then i do so because i know that it is an exercise in futility, especially in a secondary language. and yet, i think a i made so many mistakes that i have to share it with you, and foremost with these of you that are - like me - new to this fascinating world.
for me it all started when i realized i have a mental disability that makes impossible for me to have visual imaginations. i identified hallucinogens as a possible method of affecting this disability and quickly found the open hyperspace traveler handbook, the nexus, and an lsd fairy. to make this part of my journey short, it failed. no matter how hard i trip i do not get a normal imagination, and whats worse, i seem to have a really high tolerance for visual effects of hallucinogens.
at first i tried 1p-lsd, because it found its way into my possession so easy.
to make it short it was a major disappointment. yes, i felt a certain high, i was slightly euphoric. maybe the lights where a little bit more fancy. but that relay was it. i tried it again, with a very high dose by all accounts, but i did not feel at all different then i felt with the 100µg i tried with my firs experiment. bummer.
next came dmt. obtaining all the kitchen implements, making harmalas and extracting the spice took a while. but i planned it quite carefully and managed to get two weeks of vacation for my experiments. when i finally had the substance ready, i was very very exited.
without proper means of administration i just put some of the harmalas and some spice on my e-cig coil, put it on max power (a humble 40w) and vaped as hard i could.
now i knew that this probably would not get me anywhere - or so i thought. because what relay happens was a very intense experience of dancing rainbow mandalas. in hindsight i now think i must have gotten the full thing first try. the only part of me that was still functioning was my ability to gape at the beauty.
now, on account of me being noob the experience was rather short. vaping harmalas does not work, it tasted like racoon and my coil was totaled. well no matter, i quickly rebuild my atomizer, identified what went wrong with the harmalas and planned my next trip.
what followed was the craziest week imaginable. i feel i can not give a full account of what i experienced in it at this point, though i might have done so in a different life.
i know now the biggest mistake i made was that i tried to take things out of one trip with me into the next trip. i think my motivation to do so was harmless enough - i was curious in what i had seen and i wanted to get a closer look. however, i know know this to be a receipt for disaster.
in no time me - a melancholic middle aged atheist - turned into a religious nutjob with messiah complex and major maniac episode. i saw meanings in everything i saw and every step that had brought me in contact with dmt. i was convinced i had to share the message. i even told my mother about it. i was relay very mad.
i think what both saved me in the end and doomed me in the beginning was my high tolerance to visual hallucinations. it doomed me because i never realized how hard i was tripping, and it saved me because i went through my spice very fast.
when i finally came clear, i was incredible happy to have a week of vacation left. i used it to explain to my mom what i had done and why and that of course now that i knew drugs could not help me i would never do it again *cough*
a week also was enough to come back to my old atheistic senses, tho my experiences where convincing enough that now at least i have to accept the possibility that certain phenomenon do exist.
what lingers is a very strange feeling i sometimes get. i seem to remember conversations i never had, especially a *tone*, a voice i never heard. it is very hard for to put this into words. its no hallucination, its just a memory i can not grasp if i want to focus on it but that comes to me in certain situations. very strange, but also very beautiful. i think there was some wisdom in these conversations i never had.
my ability to have visual hallucinations seems to improve. when last i vaporized spice, i was relay fascinated by my suddenly all so colorful bacon. it was very nice.
the bottom line is, i relay like dmt. i know know that i have to be relay careful tho, the substance has the power to chew up my deepest convictions and turn me into a obnoxious zealot.
still, i feel i can benefit greatly from it, and making a few stupid mistakes early during a vacation probably is not the worst method of learning the basics.
i feel its time to attempt to put my first contact with dmt into words. if i say attempt then i do so because i know that it is an exercise in futility, especially in a secondary language. and yet, i think a i made so many mistakes that i have to share it with you, and foremost with these of you that are - like me - new to this fascinating world.
for me it all started when i realized i have a mental disability that makes impossible for me to have visual imaginations. i identified hallucinogens as a possible method of affecting this disability and quickly found the open hyperspace traveler handbook, the nexus, and an lsd fairy. to make this part of my journey short, it failed. no matter how hard i trip i do not get a normal imagination, and whats worse, i seem to have a really high tolerance for visual effects of hallucinogens.
at first i tried 1p-lsd, because it found its way into my possession so easy.
to make it short it was a major disappointment. yes, i felt a certain high, i was slightly euphoric. maybe the lights where a little bit more fancy. but that relay was it. i tried it again, with a very high dose by all accounts, but i did not feel at all different then i felt with the 100µg i tried with my firs experiment. bummer.
next came dmt. obtaining all the kitchen implements, making harmalas and extracting the spice took a while. but i planned it quite carefully and managed to get two weeks of vacation for my experiments. when i finally had the substance ready, i was very very exited.
without proper means of administration i just put some of the harmalas and some spice on my e-cig coil, put it on max power (a humble 40w) and vaped as hard i could.
now i knew that this probably would not get me anywhere - or so i thought. because what relay happens was a very intense experience of dancing rainbow mandalas. in hindsight i now think i must have gotten the full thing first try. the only part of me that was still functioning was my ability to gape at the beauty.
now, on account of me being noob the experience was rather short. vaping harmalas does not work, it tasted like racoon and my coil was totaled. well no matter, i quickly rebuild my atomizer, identified what went wrong with the harmalas and planned my next trip.
what followed was the craziest week imaginable. i feel i can not give a full account of what i experienced in it at this point, though i might have done so in a different life.
i know now the biggest mistake i made was that i tried to take things out of one trip with me into the next trip. i think my motivation to do so was harmless enough - i was curious in what i had seen and i wanted to get a closer look. however, i know know this to be a receipt for disaster.
in no time me - a melancholic middle aged atheist - turned into a religious nutjob with messiah complex and major maniac episode. i saw meanings in everything i saw and every step that had brought me in contact with dmt. i was convinced i had to share the message. i even told my mother about it. i was relay very mad.
i think what both saved me in the end and doomed me in the beginning was my high tolerance to visual hallucinations. it doomed me because i never realized how hard i was tripping, and it saved me because i went through my spice very fast.
when i finally came clear, i was incredible happy to have a week of vacation left. i used it to explain to my mom what i had done and why and that of course now that i knew drugs could not help me i would never do it again *cough*
a week also was enough to come back to my old atheistic senses, tho my experiences where convincing enough that now at least i have to accept the possibility that certain phenomenon do exist.
what lingers is a very strange feeling i sometimes get. i seem to remember conversations i never had, especially a *tone*, a voice i never heard. it is very hard for to put this into words. its no hallucination, its just a memory i can not grasp if i want to focus on it but that comes to me in certain situations. very strange, but also very beautiful. i think there was some wisdom in these conversations i never had.
my ability to have visual hallucinations seems to improve. when last i vaporized spice, i was relay fascinated by my suddenly all so colorful bacon. it was very nice.
the bottom line is, i relay like dmt. i know know that i have to be relay careful tho, the substance has the power to chew up my deepest convictions and turn me into a obnoxious zealot.
still, i feel i can benefit greatly from it, and making a few stupid mistakes early during a vacation probably is not the worst method of learning the basics.