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one crazy week - a report of my first contact with dmt

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Electro Monk

Rising Star
fellow psychonauts,

i feel its time to attempt to put my first contact with dmt into words. if i say attempt then i do so because i know that it is an exercise in futility, especially in a secondary language. and yet, i think a i made so many mistakes that i have to share it with you, and foremost with these of you that are - like me - new to this fascinating world.


for me it all started when i realized i have a mental disability that makes impossible for me to have visual imaginations. i identified hallucinogens as a possible method of affecting this disability and quickly found the open hyperspace traveler handbook, the nexus, and an lsd fairy. to make this part of my journey short, it failed. no matter how hard i trip i do not get a normal imagination, and whats worse, i seem to have a really high tolerance for visual effects of hallucinogens.

at first i tried 1p-lsd, because it found its way into my possession so easy.
to make it short it was a major disappointment. yes, i felt a certain high, i was slightly euphoric. maybe the lights where a little bit more fancy. but that relay was it. i tried it again, with a very high dose by all accounts, but i did not feel at all different then i felt with the 100µg i tried with my firs experiment. bummer.

next came dmt. obtaining all the kitchen implements, making harmalas and extracting the spice took a while. but i planned it quite carefully and managed to get two weeks of vacation for my experiments. when i finally had the substance ready, i was very very exited.

without proper means of administration i just put some of the harmalas and some spice on my e-cig coil, put it on max power (a humble 40w) and vaped as hard i could.
now i knew that this probably would not get me anywhere - or so i thought. because what relay happens was a very intense experience of dancing rainbow mandalas. in hindsight i now think i must have gotten the full thing first try. the only part of me that was still functioning was my ability to gape at the beauty.

now, on account of me being noob the experience was rather short. vaping harmalas does not work, it tasted like racoon and my coil was totaled. well no matter, i quickly rebuild my atomizer, identified what went wrong with the harmalas and planned my next trip.

what followed was the craziest week imaginable. i feel i can not give a full account of what i experienced in it at this point, though i might have done so in a different life.

i know now the biggest mistake i made was that i tried to take things out of one trip with me into the next trip. i think my motivation to do so was harmless enough - i was curious in what i had seen and i wanted to get a closer look. however, i know know this to be a receipt for disaster.
in no time me - a melancholic middle aged atheist - turned into a religious nutjob with messiah complex and major maniac episode. i saw meanings in everything i saw and every step that had brought me in contact with dmt. i was convinced i had to share the message. i even told my mother about it. i was relay very mad.

i think what both saved me in the end and doomed me in the beginning was my high tolerance to visual hallucinations. it doomed me because i never realized how hard i was tripping, and it saved me because i went through my spice very fast.

when i finally came clear, i was incredible happy to have a week of vacation left. i used it to explain to my mom what i had done and why and that of course now that i knew drugs could not help me i would never do it again *cough*
a week also was enough to come back to my old atheistic senses, tho my experiences where convincing enough that now at least i have to accept the possibility that certain phenomenon do exist.

what lingers is a very strange feeling i sometimes get. i seem to remember conversations i never had, especially a *tone*, a voice i never heard. it is very hard for to put this into words. its no hallucination, its just a memory i can not grasp if i want to focus on it but that comes to me in certain situations. very strange, but also very beautiful. i think there was some wisdom in these conversations i never had.

my ability to have visual hallucinations seems to improve. when last i vaporized spice, i was relay fascinated by my suddenly all so colorful bacon. it was very nice.

the bottom line is, i relay like dmt. i know know that i have to be relay careful tho, the substance has the power to chew up my deepest convictions and turn me into a obnoxious zealot.
still, i feel i can benefit greatly from it, and making a few stupid mistakes early during a vacation probably is not the worst method of learning the basics.
 
Electro Monk, your writing is very elegant, well-detailed and you express yourself very clearly, especially so if, as you say, English is not your first language.

I really appreciated reading this report of yours, so thank you.

And lastly, a little piece of advice from an old-timer who has been around the psychedelic block thousands of times, literally:

In my not-so-humble opinion, most people (when using/reporting on psychedelics) tend to emphasize the visual aspect of the experience which, I cannot argue, is incredibly intriguing and captivating. However, I feel that this aspect of psychedelic substances has been over-emphasized in many, if not most, (modern) cultures/circles/social networks and many of the other awe-inspiring, uplifting, terror-inducing and introspective aspects have been overlooked or even neglected, so to speak.

My point being that, just because you happen to be impaired in the visual department does not mean that you can't reap the benefits and side-effects of these powerful tools that we happen to have at our disposal.


May you find your Peace
 
Sounds like a motorbit to me! lol :p

Anyhow... It's all good!

I have come down from a DMT journey and I swear I was just having a very in depth conversation with some being or entity, receiving all the secrets of the universe, just to have it slip through my fingers. The more I thought about it the less I would remember. It drives me nuts sometimes! I guess some things should not be brought back into this reality from hyperspace. C'est la vie!

It helps to integrate one experience before heading into the next, more or less, that can just cause more confusion than clarity. I really believe there are teachers in hyperspace. The lessons are not always straight forward. They come in emotions and off the wall thoughts that pop in your head months later after a trip. Never anything solid to grab onto. It is what it is!

Hope you can step back from all this and find something beautiful behind it all! It is there waiting to be seen, I feel. There is something magical about DMT to me! I am mesmerized by the experiences not matter what transpires. I give gratitude to just be able to have these experiences and that translates to this reality, I give thanks for it all, good and bad, the confusion and the clarity.
 
DmnStr8 said:
... I give gratitude to just be able to have these experiences and that translates to this reality, I give thanks for it all, good and bad, the confusion and the clarity...


Exactly.
 
Doc Buxin, thank you for your kind words ♥

Dmnstr8, i do not know what you are talking about, but if i do i do not for a good reason :p
 
i saw meanings in everything i saw and every step that had brought me in contact with dmt. i was convinced i had to share the message. i even told my mother about it. i was relay very mad.

Ok, but there is meaning in everything if you allow it to present itself.
To me, your report sounds like there is a battle of personal identities going on between your old "middle aged atheist" self, and the one that got to know there is a different dimension to life, or at the very least: A different perspective.

It is also normal, that you want to share your intense experience. That doesn't make you into a "religious nutjob with messiah complex".

It sounds to me, that this experience has enriched your life and that it will continue to unfold over time.
 
obliguhl said:
i saw meanings in everything i saw and every step that had brought me in contact with dmt. i was convinced i had to share the message. i even told my mother about it. i was relay very mad.

Ok, but there is meaning in everything if you allow it to present itself.



Obliguhl makes a terrific point here. I would like to take it one step further and state that the meaning is within our experience of anything, it is always there for us to create no matter where we choose to put our attention. We, as human beings or, perhaps more appropriately, as spiritual beings having a human experience, are meaning-making machines so to speak. It's one of the main reasons we are where we are, if not THE main reason IMHO...We are meaning creators plain and simple.


Peace
 
My oh my, sounds like we have a brand new motorbit!!!

Thank you very much for sharing your experience man! I am very glad to hear that you can feel the benefits. The guys above summarized everything I wanted to say basically, so all that's left for me to say is:

Safe travels, friend. Bask in the greatness of creation, and let your mind expand. Bright days ahead for you!

Much love! :love:
 
Electro Monk said:
...please do not spoil my plausible deniability tho...


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

You have a good sense of humor! That is of paramount importance in consensus reality and within the hyperspatial realms.

And don't worry about it. I've been here for nearly 4 years and I don't have a clue what they're talking about with the whole motorbit thing.:oops:
 
after a lot of contemplation and research, i know know what triggered my manic episode.

i am sure now, that i am one of the few that get pushed into mania when combining thc and hallucinogenics.
i remember the first and only lsd trip of my youth. i had no visuals. i was euphoric, and i COULD NOT SHUT UP.
i smoked so much marijuana that day. in hindsight i know this now to be my first experience with mania.
the only other maniac episode i had was when i smoked some (not much actually) weed when tripping on dmt. and boy that one was powerful. it also did not last just a day even if i do not know how long it lasted maybe up to a week, or rather 5 days?

in any case, i want to tell you guys i am really sorry this happened. it was very unpleasant for me as i was able to realize how i acted, but i was unable to stop myself. this state of mind forced me to say and tell anything that came into my mind completely unfiltered.

well. be it as it may. a known danger is an avoided danger. a invaluable lesson. maybe in many years, if i have a long holiday in solitude and i feel like torturing myself, i do this again to me. scary and disgraceful as it was, it was also an unmatched source of creativity. i am a firm believer that no experience can be absolutely negative. at the very least it lets me relate to and understand other persons better that have this sickness naturally.
 
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