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Only One On a Spiritual Path?

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DisEmboDied

DisEmboDied

Rising Star
What if only one of you, your girlfriend or wife (or vice versa) is on a spiritual path, but the other is not?

One cares about nothing more, but the other has no connection to spirit, no interest?

One gets God and spiritual experiences of the highest degree out of psychedelics, and the other does not, just gets terrified and discouraged?


What is one to do when love and other things in common are around?


~Love and Light
 
Both parties should respect the views and wishes of the other and not expect change. I am in a similar situation and mutual respect for the views of the other goes a long way. You can wish for change but don't expect it. Don't keep the subject dark. Talk about it but just in a sharing of perspective way. You have to understand one another but you don't have to agree.
 
Everyone is on their own path, some just a bit further along than others. I know what it's like to want someone to share the enthusiasm of what discoveries may lie in wait but each individual has to discover and desire it for themselves. Whilst I believe it's good to nurture, one does have to be cautious of 'encouraging' others on a spiritual path lest they come across as preaching and push people away from it altogether. As with everything here, patience is key.
 
Thing is, is that I understand not being preachy or fanatical, but what if that person goes her whole life without ever starting or being on the spiritual path, never seeing the "other side", dying in the dark? While I have reached or come close to the "mountaintop" (I realize the slight arrogance in that statement but there is no other way to put it).

Thanks
 
DisEmboDied said:
Thing is, is that I understand not being preachy or fanatical, but what if that person goes her whole life without ever starting or being on the spiritual path, never seeing the "other side", dying in the dark? While I have reached or come close to the "mountaintop" (I realize the slight arrogance in that statement but there is no other way to put it).

Thanks
Click to expand...

Slight? :?

I think you've answered your own question, it's just not the answer you want to hear. You're projecting your own fears onto her, boosting your ego. If she doesn't want to go down the same path as you, that's her choice. Just because it wouldn't make you happy doesn't mean that's true for her or that it has to be. Everyone appreciates life in different ways.
 
I wouldn't want for anyone to be on the spiritual path, a path full of suffering, unless they ask for it and desire it, only then they can withstand it
I really don't wish for anyone to feel what i feel, i can't imagine putting anyone through all this..
 
I suppose a spiritual person would realize the need for patience and acceptance of other ways of thinking. Especially if they have been on or near the mountaintop... all ideas seem pretty small and inconsequential from that height, yes?
 
I am in this situation.

It is perhaps part of spiritual "best practice" to keep your treasures hidden.

Not in a dishonest or deceitful way, obviously.

It's also my experience and belief that effective spiritual practice is essentially solo.

I don't know, but I've been told that two of the pre-requisites for wholesome spiritual development are compassion and a sense of humour.

All taken in to account, I don't think it should matter, as long as you don't impose on them, or they impinge on you.
 
It might help to allow for the possibility that she has already seen the view from the mountaintop and has understood that the best course of action is to blend in as a totally regular person, while waiting for you to go through your stages of discovery.

See, we have a tendency to think that our current view is IT, even after experiencing the process of our views becoming obsolete and updated time and time again. But wherever we are along the continuum, we somehow feel it worthwhile to announce our views to others and bless them with our great understanding. Don't we?

Keeping silent and being patient is not in fashion.
 
Try to weigh your feelings and meditate on it...if it seems like the best move for both of you, then leave and find someone who shares your interests. There is no shame or blame in this. My partner and i (and our friends to some degree) share an interest in these things and without that frankly i can't imagine how it would work out. The whole find your tribe saying might sound cliche, but what are we doing if not building community with at least relatively common interests and values.

But everyone is different...

So, if you feel it best, compromise and work it out

If not, leave gently
 
Stop trying to be spiritual and focus on just being the best version of you as a human being.

You will probably be more happy and so will your lover. You don't need to be so serious about being spiritual. It doesn't mean anything.
 
Interesting thread. At the risk of sounding sexist(honest?), my observation over 4+ decades of "practice" with entheogens has been that, on average, fewer women actively seek or enjoy INTENSE drug catalyzed body/mind dissolution. This may well be changing. I don't "get out" during the mind melts much anymore.

Another gender(biologic sex) difference I've noted is that women who are true psychonauts describe their trips, and life experiences in language(written, spoken) that I(a man) often don't resonate with and find hard to decipher.

Gender differences are NOT solely, cultural constructs. Complementarity, not "equalism" is how this shared reality seems to manifest itself.

Peace
 
As far as that ^ goes... Essentialism is boring and often biased. Essentialism informed by anecdotal observations is boring, biased, and often wrong.

To the OP, with as much love as possible, get over yourself. And like jamie said, "focus on just being the best version of you as a human being," whether that's with your partner or apart from them.
 
Personally, I would drop the whole "she is not seeing the TRUTH, I need to convert her!" mentality and sense of superiority.
You think psychedelics are a door to the spirit realm, but it's perfectly possible that they are not. An important aspect about psychedelics is that they are supposed to let you keep an open mind on these matters and avoid dogmatisms (one way or the other), especially when trying to get others to conform to your views.

YOU value psychedelics as a "spiritual path" and that is what seems to work for you, but the psychedelic experience is not for everyone, not all people have the same neurochemistry and many of them will not get real benefits out of it or interpret it in the same way, and that's ok.

If the problem is about your significant other not sharing a big aspect of your life with you that you feel is simply too important, I can see you trying to get her to enjoy a low dose of other psychedelics (like lsd or mushrooms) and slowly start to build a "common ground".
 
In a talk by Eckhart Tolle he once hit the OP item. So he meets a lot of spiritual seekers with the alleged "problem" at hand, and many of them solve it by re aligning with a mere spiritual (what's in a name?) partner. He said to have witnessed a lot of cases that the solution was not really a solution and things getting even worse than before.
To the opposite, others succeed.

Ram Dass also gets asked same questions often, that happens when you're a hallmark in the trade. To such inquiring people he says: I have no advice for you. His stance is/was that whatever you do, there's always the path open for you to evolve, staying together or not, different evolution maybe but still evolution. In no case the door of evolution is closed.

Fwiw.
 
Pinning down a concept of "true spirituality" is like neglecting the magic around/within us.

It doesn't matter if you are on, next to or far away from any "mountain top", it is all same/saint!

Ultimately realizing that there is no mountain top and thus, no far away from it, nor have ever been...

This is it, welcome to the here and now! Keep breathing to conquer the death by astonishment.

Boom, tseuq
 
By accepting your views as correct, and by seeing yourself as being "near the top of the mountain" can you really be on a spiritual path?

A spiritual path implies that you are seeking answers, not that you have them.

I think it requires a good deal of arrogance and ego to feel that you have reached high levels of spirituality, to see yourself "near the top of the mountain"

...a person who is seeking wisdom and gnosis is hardly in the position to direct others towards their own conclusions.

The best thing you can do is be open, rather than feeling you know enough to direct others towards truth. Listen to others without judgement, attempt to understand and learn from others and their views, rather than taking the position of "I know" take a position of "I know nothing" and listen and observe...

If you don't perceive that someone you are close to is on an acceptable spiritual path, just let it go, and don't worry.

don't worry about it.

just don't worry about it.

-eg
 
I resonate with what eg said,

just dont worry...there is no high or low or top or bottom

everyone is on the path

and we all 'miss out' on aspects of the others path

why we merge ;)
 
Isn't terror and discourage part of the whole shebang anyway?
Like an psychedelic ordeal you go through and survive - then things don't seem so bad like death and taxes.
 
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