DmnStr8
Come what may
My last two DMT trips I have felt outside of my experience. An observer. I have begun to see everything that I am as separate when I am in this state of being. My emotions, my feelings, my thoughts and memories are all separate from this observer I feel to be.
When this happens and I identify with the observer. I become the observer I then find that I watch it all disappears and I am just in a place of being. Nothingness and everything at the same time. More of a feeling as when I am in this state I do not remember much upon my return. I find I lose myself more and more on my recent trips.
I started to see myself in others. Taking on this observer kind of mindset in real life. I would lose myself in just looking at a flower or tree or cloud or my daughter. It feels like that is the way I am always supposed to be. That this experience that I am having called life is only a thought in the observers mind. Separate.
It is a wonderful feeling to fall into this state but it has caused me to question my personality to the point where I don't even know who I am anymore. An identity crisis in some ways. Not in a negative way but a confusing, don't know which way to go way. Lost but ok being lost. Not in a panic. Just looking for the right path at the moment. Checking the map so to speak.
I don't stress about it too much but I don't know anyone who is into psychedelics like I am. I have no one to bounce this stuff off of. It has weighed on my mind lately. Has anyone ever experienced anything remotely similar to this? Any advice on finding and building the new self from the ground up by choice from the observer viewpoint? Or just let it be and don't try and find any path? I lean towards the latter. Letting go and just letting my life unfold and watching it. It is almost like I have no control over it anyway. Like I am watching a movie of my life. Strange and wonderful feeling to be honest. But I feel like I need to grab for something at the same time. Death throws of an old way of thinking? I don't know.... Anyhow... Thanks for any and all responses to this!
Have a great day!
When this happens and I identify with the observer. I become the observer I then find that I watch it all disappears and I am just in a place of being. Nothingness and everything at the same time. More of a feeling as when I am in this state I do not remember much upon my return. I find I lose myself more and more on my recent trips.
I started to see myself in others. Taking on this observer kind of mindset in real life. I would lose myself in just looking at a flower or tree or cloud or my daughter. It feels like that is the way I am always supposed to be. That this experience that I am having called life is only a thought in the observers mind. Separate.
It is a wonderful feeling to fall into this state but it has caused me to question my personality to the point where I don't even know who I am anymore. An identity crisis in some ways. Not in a negative way but a confusing, don't know which way to go way. Lost but ok being lost. Not in a panic. Just looking for the right path at the moment. Checking the map so to speak.
I don't stress about it too much but I don't know anyone who is into psychedelics like I am. I have no one to bounce this stuff off of. It has weighed on my mind lately. Has anyone ever experienced anything remotely similar to this? Any advice on finding and building the new self from the ground up by choice from the observer viewpoint? Or just let it be and don't try and find any path? I lean towards the latter. Letting go and just letting my life unfold and watching it. It is almost like I have no control over it anyway. Like I am watching a movie of my life. Strange and wonderful feeling to be honest. But I feel like I need to grab for something at the same time. Death throws of an old way of thinking? I don't know.... Anyhow... Thanks for any and all responses to this!
Have a great day!