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Paranoid Delusions and Addiction

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joebono

joebono

Rising Star
Let me make is simple for everyone. I am you. I am everything. You are just my reflection speaking back to me. Those of you who I hate, it is just me hating myself. Those of you who I love, yes, this is an extended form of masturbation. That’s all life is, is jerking off. Getting high. Everything else is bullshit. We spend all this time and energy working or in school trying to attain something that is just out of reach. It is elusive. Like Icarus trying to reach the sun. Icarus should have taken a stiff dose of oral DMT and some caapi. One of the many blessings of DMT is it's low cost. For a grand you can have a lifetime supply.


Drugs are the answer to everything. You become God. If you are not on drugs, then you are slave. Drugs are the answer to all problems. If you are a God, then just create your own reality. That’s what I do. Every interaction I have with anyone is just me looking at myself. I get mad at myself, lecture myself, and congratulate myself. Those of you who criticize this post, it is just me telling me what I already know. Those of you who like this post it is just ego stroking. It’s all a big nutty game. All the music I listen to, I created. All of it. I am Pink Floyd, Bon Jovi, Type O Negative. All of them. They are me. Get it? If not, take more drugs. If I see a big fat ugly girl, she is just a reflection of myself that I hate. My whole existence is one giant thought. It’s just a fancy thought. I imagined this universe, earth, America and me. The whole fucking thing is my story. I did this because I am God and I am an artistic fucker. Yes, every scorpion and cactus and flamingo I dreamed up. Every thought in your head, I created. This dopey forum is just a discussion with myself about how great DMT is. Every account on here is me and all the stories are my own.


If I read physics or philosophy and I don’t get it, it’s because I created shit that was incomprehensible to myself. That’s the fun of being a god. We are all gods, but that is not true because I am everything. Is that frustrating to you? You are not real, but a reflection of ME that I allow to exist. Once I come down from the drugs, these ideas may scatter into impregnable puzzle pieces, but it makes perfect sense. Read the Bible, believe in God, all that shit is just metaphor for drugs and the joke is that we tell people not to take them. It’s a sick game and the punchline is forgotten once the drugs where off. So when you are not on drugs it is called work. On drugs you are Ferris Bueller, eternally young and mischeivious and handsome and just fucking around with everyone in love with you. Self love. Narcissism and drugs go hand in hand.


Addiction is life. If you are not addicted to euphoria, pleasure, and bliss then you are dead. Drugs give all of this and more. They give you God status. Everything else is just bullshit. My life is heaven on DMT. Drugs bring you there, they let you shed your proletarian costume and assume deification. Quitting drugs is quitting life.


Someone please tell me I am wrong because I have to go back to work on Monday.
 
Joe dude, you gotta take a break from the spice and DRUGS and chill out for a few weeks.

If im reading your post wrong and it is supposed to be sarcastic then sorry for this post. But dude, lay off for a while.
 
gammagore said:
Joe dude, you gotta take a break from the spice and DRUGS and chill out for a few weeks.

If im reading your post wrong and it is supposed to be sarcastic then sorry for this post. But dude, lay off for a while.
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I don't know if it is sarcastic. I guess it is because I think this whole thing is some strange joke that I am playing on myself. Anyway, this is all from my DMT use, I don't mess around with anything else except for shrooms or cactus on occasion.
 
Joe do urself a favor man please... we love u as nexus. but it seems u really should take a break.. that doesnt mean ur crazy.. u just need to keep clean for sometime for ur own sake mate.. the philosophy u write may be correct.. but your words telling me u need this break as soon as possible before u hurt urself man.. my heart is with u , hope u find the right path for urself
Peace and love!
 
Thanks guys. I really need an outlet. Am I losing it or am I enlightened? I can't tell the difference. Now that I am down, my post sounds damn strange.
 
Seriously, little brother, when I started my work with acid, mescaline and mushrooms, over 35 years ago, the first lesson that stuck with me was that I always came down afterward.:cry:

My first response was to space out my sessions to allow time to get used to being "normal" again. But that wasn't enough, I wanted to be in that hightened state all the time.

I started to read more about the road to enlightenment and discovered a common denominator among all the different flavours of the path; a healthy body with a healthy mind, maintains a healthy spirit:shock:

I started on a physical fitness program of exercise for the mind , body and spirit. And this certainly helped a lot. But it didn't bring me to that contstant state of hightened awareness that I craved.

Eventually I decided, for some unconscious reason, to study music and learn to play guitar; the hardest thing I have every done. I soon discovered that if I practiced while under the influence of lsd or mushrooms that playing got easier and practice got longer. I was able to capture some of that heightened awareness from the session and keep it after the effects wore off.

Now after 35 years of practice, I am able to project that high state to others and, hopefully, make others high as well.

My biggest reward is that my sons and daughters are taking an interest in music, and the oldest ones are showing considerable talent.

It's all about developing the self and positively influencing others.

Namaste, joebono:wink:

OF
 
joebono said:
If you are not on drugs, then you are slave. Drugs are the answer to all problems.
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joebono said:
Addiction is life. If you are not addicted to euphoria, pleasure, and bliss then you are dead.
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joebono said:
Someone please tell me I am wrong because I have to go back to work on Monday.
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I don't really like to tell people they're wrong, but you asked for it and I think these statements are very wrong.

And I believe you can attain these states without ingesting anything. But it takes a lot of time and hard work to get there. It's part of the evolution.
 
joebono said:
Let me make is simple for everyone. I am you. I am everything. You are just my reflection speaking back to me.
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Sure. I am you and you are me and we are all together, etc. One consciousness - but separate awarenesses; distinct iterations of that consciousness. Like all things, we humans are self-similar agents making up a collective whole - but each of us is an actual, separate being.

Your consciousness and your reality are inseparable; but that does not mean that everything else exists only as a figment of your imagination. We're all in your head, yes. But we are outside of it too.

I read your post and went outside to think about it. I looked up at the sky and saw Mars (or what I thought was Mars).

Now what actually happened was this:

A bunch of photons travelled millions of miles, bounced off Mars and then hurtled millions of miles back where a portion of those light-beans ended up smacking me in the eyeball, where they were registered and translated into a weak electrical signal. This signal was compressed to fuck and sent down my optic nerve to my noggin where it got mooshed around, mixed into a soup of previous ideas, graded for relevance and finally included into my conscious awareness.

So at this point, Mars is in my head.

If, in my head, I decide Mars is blue, I can do that. In that sense, I am the 'god' of my reality, or more to the point, the analogue of a reality that I carry around in my skull.

If I focus inough, it may actually look blue next time I see it. But in all likelihood, it would still look red to you, or your mom or even Gammagore :lol: (big love, guy)

There is still something objective out there - even if we don't actually know it's true nature because we simply don't have the sensory tools to perceive it, or the mental ability to conceive of it.

This is what I believe: us monkeys have a great deal more control over our reality than we realise. our words and thoughts make, rather than reflect, our reality. And we can alter our shared reality because ultimately, we are one shared consciousness, and a part of each of us is plugged into that vast ubermind.

Be careful of this stuff, joe. Spice is powerful and taking this ride can be life-changing. But it is still you who must decide on that change. Choose carefully, friend.
 
this is sort of a common occurrence when it comes to dmt usage..at the beginning anyway..ive seen so many people get the god complex...and then they work through it and realize...well so what if i am god...so what if we are all god...so what if this is all in my head...SO WHAT..we are still here and NOBODY can truthfully say what is REALLY going on..because we really just dont know..

taking a small break helps..you have to remember...you can only get go as high as you go low..which means that the MORE grounded you are..the more connected to this reality you are...the farther you can go...if you are ungrounded..you have no tether to come BACK to and it can lead to confusion, paranoia, delusions, TROUBLE...

so practice being grounded..BE IN YOUR BODY...feel it..work with it..and then once you are super grounded..you can launch yourself into untold universes and come RIGHT back to where you were before...

now you can travel the universe and go back to work on monday and be 'normal' in society and not scare friends and family...ground yourself and this work becomes a lot easier
 
Here is my opinion Joe; You have allowed your mind to go too deep and you have lsot yourself. In the Don Juan series of Carlos Castaneda books. Carlos would smoke a mushroom mixture and whenever Carlos started zoning out and getting deep Don Juan would slap him to bring him back. don Juan maintained that if you go too far out you will loose yourself and it can be very hard to find yourself again.

My advice, lay off the spice, its a key to enlightened concsiouesness but it isnt enlightened conc. Beomce grounded, meditate, be with nature, ground yourself. Play some sports, do stuff that scares you. Generally dos tuff that makes you feel alive. Meditation will help you expand and grow spiritually and slowly but surely refind yourself.
 
Well that was a pretty deep trip I had today. Now that I am no longer God and all of you have your own real existence with or without me, I am trying to recollect and stitch all of this back together again. Whether or not any of my insights have any validity to them, it was an experience that was priceless and that few ever get to realize. It was the opposite of humbling, it was complete and total inflation - I recommend it if you can do it.

I trip once a week and it seems that lately my trips are getting much more intense and I am delving deeper into my mind than I ever imagined. New doorways have recently opened. Lately all I find there is bliss and achievement of godhood. I wonder where DMT will take me next.

I guess I am still grounded because I read my original post and basically cringe at it. Let me reintegrate back into my mortal form so I can chop the wood and fetch the water.
 
joe/me, totally feeling the post. Strangers are mirrors, kindness is indulgence, cruelty is a personal problem.

Strange way to live though, running these thoughts every day. I think that's why we invented the ego, to help "spread shit out" - expand and differentiate. Egos are useful; not everyone knows what's behind it (which is a great joke), so someone who talks about it can be off-putting (to the uninformed). Egos should be disassembled by the corresponding individual in their own time if they ever get around to it.

That is how you go to work on Monday: tuck this knowledge away, strap on your ego, relish in illusion, and dive back into circumstance.


But reading your latest post it looks like you're back already, so... Glad you had a great trip :D
 
nah man "you" are not god.."you" are only a small little piece of god..there is no "you" without a level of subjective seperation to create context.."you" implies individuality..

You can say that you are god..but you must also then agree that god MADE THE DECISION to limit itself, accepting the reducer valve that made individuality within the greater sea of self to be possible at all..there IS something to learn from that individuality..it's called EXPERIENCE..the only way that is possible is for the waveform to collapse in on itself..

If you were really "god" you wouldnt be questioning all of this subjective stuff and doubting it's validity in comparison to the bigger picture of wholeness within the godhead..it's all a part of god..so its all relevant and its all in place..

The godhead doesnt make mistakes..the concept of a mistake at that level is irrelevant nonsense..all of this is valid..all of it is worthy..that means going out and being an individual has its place as well..

When I think of "god" I know Im a part of god..I know that "I" am a product of a feedback loop that is the result of a reducer valve that sets up the individual fractal that I am..god did this for a reason.."I" am just a cell..I know this becasue when in godhead consciouness..there is no "I"

And this is all a metaphore for the real thing..there ARE some things we cant know for sure, beyond the level of metaphore..

"This dopey forum is just a discussion with myself about how great DMT is"

Well..thats not very nice..this isnt a dope forum for one thing..
 
fractal enchantment said:
"This dopey forum is just a discussion with myself about how great DMT is"

Well..thats not very nice..this isnt a dope forum for one thing..
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Yes this was harsh. I apologize. Except that in my solipsist fantasy it was really my forum that I created so the insult was internal and personal.
 
Speaking from an existential nhilist perspective, you are you. You are not me, you are not god, there is no universal consiousness. Kick back and chill out for a second. Don't drive yourself crazy by overthinking shit. You need some time to integrate your experiences. Kick back, drink a brew, chill and think for a second. Don't keep piling on with more tripping. Don't eat yourself up on the inside.

Not being high doesn't mean that you are a slave. There are many paths to higher conciousness. Take a second to thorough work through the things that are racing through your mind or you'll drive yourself insane. Trust me, I know.
 
Thanks guys. I really need an outlet. Am I losing it or am I enlightened?
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It sounds like you're not giving yourself time to work with the knowledge you've aquired.
DMT is not the dangerous part, but not giving yourself time is. You're gonna be AMAZED about the healing that happens during a break. There's a post by ant discribing how he's recently discovered the truth and I myself have noticed that aswell.

Just stop for at least 2 weeks and you'll see!!
 
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