Joe, I hope all works out for the best for you. I also hope that you find the strength that allows you to receive the great advice that has been given to you by many and take a break.
joebono If DMT gave me an endless version of hell said:
Reading your recent past posts and this quote above leads me to believe you are setting the stage for an epic negative event for yourself. I believe you when you say your setting is very controlled. Again based on your recent past posts, I dont beleive your set is. Integration/healing is not two weeks, its not one week, or a year. I would suggest not puting a time limit on it. Voyage again when its time, not just because its Saturday.
IMO and I'm sure others here will agree, when you get on a roll like the one joebono is on, there will be an event.
Give yourself some time.
Good luck and thanks for sharing.
It's tough because after a week, I am always ready to go back in. I know my post screams of something, but it was written in the throes of my deepest journey. Looking back on it, the trip was an odd mix of complete narcissism and the acknowledgment of the molecule's role in my life. It was like I came to the realization that all I do all my life is seek pleasure and avoid pain (work and bullshit) and pharmahuasca trips are pleasure personified infused with wisdom.
I don't know how to tell if my set or my psychological state is right for tripping right now. I feel optimistic and positive and everything seems to be in place in my life. Freud could say I am just rationalizing and putting up defenses to continue with destructive and dangerous tripping behavior. Damn, IHS, now you got me worrying about the potential for a negative "event". Let's hope this event doesn't include the neighbors, my naked ass running down the street, and a trip to the ward. Either way, I am taking a 21 day hiatus (partly because I am going on a vacation) and hopefully some distance will allow me to see the larger picture. Thanks.
