Ghost_Titties
Rising Star
Hello everyone, I smoked DMT for the first time maybe a month and 1/2 or so ago. It was an incredible experience however I've found myself afraid to take the plunge again.
I've posted before regarding "meaning" with DMT. After my trip, I became slightly obsessed with DMT because I believed it was "the answer to it all" and that everything which happened on the trip was real. I have always been a person who constantly asks myself existiental questions, and DMT *seemed* like answer. I almost treated and treasured it like my God for a moment.
Of course, I realize this is not the case. There's no clinical evidence to prove DMT floods our brains when we die, or that it's "the answer to everything", or that it's a "portal to other dimensions", or anything of the sort. It is not solid evidence for answers to my existiental questions. Only theory, just like any other "answer to it all". It may have more scientific evidence than other theories, but it is not 100% pure fact. However, I was *treating* it and *believing* it as though it was hard fact. I hope this makes sense.
Anyways, though I've established in my mind that it's all just another theory and not fact, I still find myself paranoid to try it again. I have enough left for one breakthrough dose, but have yet to use it. I'm afraid of having a bad trip.
I don't know why I'm so afraid of having a bad trip, I feel like it's because of the "meaning" and "truth" my mind attached to the drug. I fear that if I have a bad trip it will feel "real" (I've read many people describe their DMT breakthrough experiences as "more real than real" ) and I will suffer more than I ever have before, that I will suffer at the hands of some evil celestial being that's "real". I've read several posts and seen YouTube trip reports of people saying that it was traumatizing and one of the worst experiences of their life.
DMT made me feel so good, so unafraid. I felt so comfortable, as if I had been there before. I felt like I was travelling familiar territory, like I had been there before and will be there again. Perhaps because I felt so amazing and at peace, I'm afraid of experiencing the opposite? It's so easy to cling on to the idea that what we experience after death is good and peaceful, its terrifying to think we experience suffering and pain.
Maybe I fear that if I have a bad trip, it'll shatter the idea that death and where we go afterwards is peaceful and happy, and it may lead to feeling miserable/pessimistic/nihilistic about life after death. Though i know DMT is only in theory what we experience when we die, maybe because the "good" trip felt so real, perhaps I'm afraid of the bad trip feeling real, too.
I feel like being paranoid of a bad trip is going to do nothing but give me a bad trip. I've heard that DMT will give you whatever trip it gives you and you don't necessarily have a choice/control over it like other psychedelics, but I doubt being paranoid of having a bad trip before smoking will make me any *less* likely to have one.
I guess my question here is if any of you have experienced this paranoia as well. Why did you feel paranoid, and how did you deal with it? Is there any way to stop feeling paranoid? Should I avoid using my last bit of DMT until the paranoia subsides, or should I just take the plunge and conquer my fear?
Also if any of you have had a bad breakthrough on DMT I'd be interested to hear what you experienced, how you dealt with it during and afterwards, what you learned, how you feel now, etc.
I know it's ignorant to think everything is happy and good all the time. There's a balance in this world, I feel. You can't feel true joy if you've never suffered, and vice versa. Joy and happiness is always fleeting, but so is anger, fear and pain, too. Nothing is permanent or set in stone. I guess sometimes its just easier to believe it's all good. To hope that we're destined to experience something good after death. Maybe at the end of the day, it just depends on what you choose to believe.
Thanks for reading!
I've posted before regarding "meaning" with DMT. After my trip, I became slightly obsessed with DMT because I believed it was "the answer to it all" and that everything which happened on the trip was real. I have always been a person who constantly asks myself existiental questions, and DMT *seemed* like answer. I almost treated and treasured it like my God for a moment.
Of course, I realize this is not the case. There's no clinical evidence to prove DMT floods our brains when we die, or that it's "the answer to everything", or that it's a "portal to other dimensions", or anything of the sort. It is not solid evidence for answers to my existiental questions. Only theory, just like any other "answer to it all". It may have more scientific evidence than other theories, but it is not 100% pure fact. However, I was *treating* it and *believing* it as though it was hard fact. I hope this makes sense.
Anyways, though I've established in my mind that it's all just another theory and not fact, I still find myself paranoid to try it again. I have enough left for one breakthrough dose, but have yet to use it. I'm afraid of having a bad trip.
I don't know why I'm so afraid of having a bad trip, I feel like it's because of the "meaning" and "truth" my mind attached to the drug. I fear that if I have a bad trip it will feel "real" (I've read many people describe their DMT breakthrough experiences as "more real than real" ) and I will suffer more than I ever have before, that I will suffer at the hands of some evil celestial being that's "real". I've read several posts and seen YouTube trip reports of people saying that it was traumatizing and one of the worst experiences of their life.
DMT made me feel so good, so unafraid. I felt so comfortable, as if I had been there before. I felt like I was travelling familiar territory, like I had been there before and will be there again. Perhaps because I felt so amazing and at peace, I'm afraid of experiencing the opposite? It's so easy to cling on to the idea that what we experience after death is good and peaceful, its terrifying to think we experience suffering and pain.
Maybe I fear that if I have a bad trip, it'll shatter the idea that death and where we go afterwards is peaceful and happy, and it may lead to feeling miserable/pessimistic/nihilistic about life after death. Though i know DMT is only in theory what we experience when we die, maybe because the "good" trip felt so real, perhaps I'm afraid of the bad trip feeling real, too.
I feel like being paranoid of a bad trip is going to do nothing but give me a bad trip. I've heard that DMT will give you whatever trip it gives you and you don't necessarily have a choice/control over it like other psychedelics, but I doubt being paranoid of having a bad trip before smoking will make me any *less* likely to have one.
I guess my question here is if any of you have experienced this paranoia as well. Why did you feel paranoid, and how did you deal with it? Is there any way to stop feeling paranoid? Should I avoid using my last bit of DMT until the paranoia subsides, or should I just take the plunge and conquer my fear?
Also if any of you have had a bad breakthrough on DMT I'd be interested to hear what you experienced, how you dealt with it during and afterwards, what you learned, how you feel now, etc.
I know it's ignorant to think everything is happy and good all the time. There's a balance in this world, I feel. You can't feel true joy if you've never suffered, and vice versa. Joy and happiness is always fleeting, but so is anger, fear and pain, too. Nothing is permanent or set in stone. I guess sometimes its just easier to believe it's all good. To hope that we're destined to experience something good after death. Maybe at the end of the day, it just depends on what you choose to believe.
Thanks for reading!
