Please encourage me to smoalk dmt

[pointy hat]

As reads title

Having trouble overcoming anxiety / waiting for the "right time" to really dive in. Oh, it's not the right time. I could, but I need to do this. Tonite, I'll do it (waking up next day "hmm, guess it wasn't the right time" )

I'm frustrated with myself. Have had a few lower-realm experiences that were fine and good and intense and all. I think there is much waiting for me (in there) to learn. I'm in a period in my life where I NEED to be learning and growing for my own and others' sake; and I'm finding it difficult to gain wisdom and forward motion in my day-to-day life while just living as the lifer. I really want to start working with the spice... well if you wanted to you'd be doing it my mind sneers into me... Eh, hmm.

If you'd like to twist my arm, I can provide ammunition for said online verbal arm twistings

Thanks!

 

[Voidmatrix]

I'm not sure if you've seen this thread but it may be of some use for you.

I truly do empathize with your experience as I've had my own issues around the same phenomenon. It's just hard to bring myself to that point, though I still managed to work with my fair share of Dmt.

I've found it helpful to first accept yourself and your situation as you are where you are. Really get to know the state you're moving from by learning to be okay with it. That way it's easier to pay attention to the nuances of thought that occur that keep you from going the distance that you'd like and that would fulfill you.

At the same time, listening to the impulse that drives you towards the molecule in the first place may help and allow you to "just do it."

All the same, to state a tautology, when the time is right, the time is right. You'll get there.

One love

 

[Ashtray770]

Oh my goodness friend, i relate with your experience SO MUCH. Im in a very similar situation m yself actually. For the past couple weeks now every single day i wake up thinking tonight will the be the night, all throughout the day telling myself im just waiting for the sun to go down, then telling myself im just waiting for it to get a little cooler, then i need to eat something first, then im waking up the next day to do it all over again.

A couple days ago i was able to break the cycle and actually jump in and had a great time for the most part, and found myself excited to jump back in the next night, alas here i am 3 or 4 days back into the cycle. Trying again to break it today.

Im not sure whats going on with this anxiety block, this fear paralysis im experiencing in my decision making abilities. I have noticed though that its not just the DMT im having issues with but pretty much every choice i need to be making right now. So it may be more of a general issue with me personally.

I hope you can overcome this thou!
Just remember, its only 10mins, what do you really have to lose?

 

[Fridge]

Hey pointy hat, it seems like many of us go through this from time to time. Sometimes I feel the call, plan everything (I prepare myself mentally for it throughout the day) and then when the time comes, I sit there and decide to postpone it to the following evening till it really feels right. I literally sit there with my loaded bong, but then abort the mission.
Then when I finally do it, I am so glad I did and kind of laugh about myself that I have been so anxious and hesitant... At the same time something tells me it was good to wait.

Interestingly for me it seems the longer I wait the more "excuses" not to travel come up. One day after I have been to hyperspace I feel like going there again, but let one week pass by and it's another story.

You see, I can understand your frustration. There's one thing that works well for me though and I think I should mention it here...
Whenever I find myself postponing and postponing, I decide to take a sub-breakthrough dose one evening and then the following evening I feel ready for a breakthrough dose. The sub-breakthrough dose is mainly there to test the waters. It's a beautiful experience in itself, but it also shows me whether I am welcome in hyperspace or not.
One more thing. It feels like DMT wants to get the respect it deserves. I find if you treat this experience with respect you'll be rewarded and get most out of it. I started to say a mantra right before I journey and I feel it really helped so far.

I hope this helps a bit. Good luck on your travels!

 

[PedroSanchez]

if it is anxiety then i have found a good way to overcome it is to smoke a very small amount first and have your full dose ready to go.
i have done this in the past and it has helped me calm down and remember that it is not as scary as i am making it out to be in my head. i just used enough to have barely any visual effects, if any at all, just enough to give you that feeling of joy and relaxation.

along side that it helps to set your intention straight too, even if it is just to have a good time. truly understand what you are doing and there is less to fear. and remember, you are not going to die or go crazy or anything like that. fear of such things will drive us crazy

i think you should also consider that it is not time yet. maybe your subconscious self is trying to communicate. what is missing before you can take the next step? maybe you could meditate on that?

 

[The Sofa Traveler]

Maybe some harmalas could help you to reduce pre-flight anxiety by giving you a kind of "don't give a shit" mood Cheerz

 

[Voidmatrix]

There's a lot that's been shared here that resonates with aspects of my experience with the same phenomenon. Part of me wonders how much of this is due to resultant changes in experience over time as one continues to work with and engage with DMT. It seems to get "weirder" over time which can make it hard to parse what to necessarily think about it all. All the same, everyone, never quit striving.

One love

P.S. If anyone else has the time today, join me in a little journey, even if you don't really go anywhere, meaning even if it isn't a breakthrough or sub-breakthrough. Baby steps are progress regardless

 

[Koduckushi]

Wow, I knew I wasn't alone, but it's comforting to see others experience the same feelings of angst and "fear" of the trip. I've been doing the same thing for a couple months now. I tell myself nearly daily "tonight is the night." Then I postpone, or something comes up, or I don't feel right. My last experience was wonderful, and I kicked myself for feeling so anxious about diving in.

Right now I'm deep in my own head trying to find some answer about myself/existence that I know doesn't exist in a context that will make me satisfied.

 

[fink]

Add my name to the list of people who irrationally fear the commitment.

 

[dragonrider]

I know the feeling. I can only speak for myself ofcourse, but i think it's probably more than just fear. It's also the fact that DMT, along with most other powerfull psychedelics, is such a challenging experience.

Sometimes i get tired just thinking about it. And i mean, not just the experience itself, but the whole process of mental integration afterwards as well.

Buddhists sometimes use this analogy of swallowing a porcupine for the process of finding enlightenment: it's something you'll have to complete once you started it. You can't just decide to quit halfway.

This is just like that.

I think you'll have to make a decission though, and stick to it.
Do you want to do it? Is the time right? Then just flip that mental switch in your head and go.

 

[Ashtray770]

So I was able to push myself to dose last night and I'm so glad I did. Just wanted to report from the other side of the fear, it feels so good to jump back in. I think imma start tripping every night before bed as a routine thing

 

[Voidmatrix]

I know the feeling. I can only speak for myself ofcourse, but i think it's probably more than just fear. It's also the fact that DMT, along with most other powerfull psychedelics, is such a challenging experience.

Sometimes i get tired just thinking about it. And i mean, not just the experience itself, but the whole process of mental integration afterwards as well.

Buddhists sometimes use this analogy of swallowing a porcupine for the process of finding enlightenment: it's something you'll have to complete once you started it. You can't just decide to quit halfway.

This is just like that.

I think you'll have to make a decission though, and stick to it.
Do you want to do it? Is the time right? Then just flip that mental switch in your head and go.

I know for me, aside from depressive blocks that I've discussed a lot of the forum, another "concern" is my own sensitivity. A little tends to go a long way.

The more I have the ideas and words of "commit" and "surrender" on my mind as I approach and enter the experience helps tune out the preventative blocks.

All the same, for each of us, we all grow closer to ourselves by learning how to push ourselves when dealing with this hindering phenomenon.

One love

 

[ShadedSelf]

I feel like this is a more general phenomenon.

Something that I have found to work for me is to do things inspite of the emotion, rather than seeking somethng internal or external that eases the fear, which might still be an option, let it be a part of the experience.

Also, understanding what it is that you are scared of seems to be quite beneficial, unfold the inner mologue/story all the way to the end, the mind will be more informed and decide whether it is willing to take the risk or not.

 

[Voidmatrix]

On a bit of a humorous note, and very appropriate for the discussion: about 10 minutes ago I noticed the all-too-familiar mental algorithm that occurs every time I have a specific plan to blast off that looks for reasons and excuses not to follow through on said plan... :lol:

One love

Edit: Was sure to follow through. Didn't really go anywhere, but it was a great additional supplement for my meditation.

Edit:Something I meant to share earlier- I've noticed progress passed this phenomenon when approached in a paradoxical way, like Chinese finger cuffs, where one has to first push before they can pull out; that is, with our issues here, the less we care and get frustrated about it, the easier it becomes to gently move ourselves to the point of journeying the way and depth in which we desire.

DMT is so weird...

 

[RowRowRow YourBoat]

I hadn't done DMT for over a year, after my initial honeymoon I battled the fear for a while and then gave up, I was waiting for the right day but then when that day came I was still too scared and then after that I just kind of put DMT out of my mind.

The whole reason I came back to this forum recently was to try to work up the courage. I have been reading this thread since it was posted and taking what motivation I can from it.

You see, I can understand your frustration. There's one thing that works well for me though and I think I should mention it here...
Whenever I find myself postponing and postponing, I decide to take a sub-breakthrough dose one evening and then the following evening I feel ready for a breakthrough dose. The sub-breakthrough dose is mainly there to test the waters. It's a beautiful experience in itself, but it also shows me whether I am welcome in hyperspace or not.
One more thing. It feels like DMT wants to get the respect it deserves. I find if you treat this experience with respect you'll be rewarded and get most out of it. I started to say a mantra right before I journey and I feel it really helped so far.

I hope this helps a bit. Good luck on your travels!

After several nights of wondering if I will or if I won't I finally worked up the courage to try this. I smoked a small amount changa last night, 55mg of 25%. One hit; body feel, "oh, I remember now, this is the way dmt feels" then took a second and then things started to get wobbly, if I closed my eyes I could see faint CEVs. There was still a third hit in the bowl and at this point the fear was gone but I had no motivation to go deeper. It was really just a threshold experience but although part of me wanted to smoke the rest I had no motivation to actually do it, as weird as that sounds. My intention in smoking that changa was to conquer the fear leading up to dosing and to ask the question "should I smoke dmt right now or not" and having put my toe into the DMT realm I felt I faced my fear in some small way, and I felt the answer was kind of "for tonight you should smoke *that much* dmt and no more"

I don't know what will happen tonight but I am thankful everyone in this thread for sharing their advice and encouragement, you got me over that first hump.

 

[Voidmatrix]

I hadn't done DMT for over a year, after my initial honeymoon I battled the fear for a while and then gave up, I was waiting for the right day but then when that day came I was still too scared and then after that I just kind of put DMT out of my mind.

The whole reason I came back to this forum recently was to try to work up the courage. I have been reading this thread since it was posted and taking what motivation I can from it.

You see, I can understand your frustration. There's one thing that works well for me though and I think I should mention it here...
Whenever I find myself postponing and postponing, I decide to take a sub-breakthrough dose one evening and then the following evening I feel ready for a breakthrough dose. The sub-breakthrough dose is mainly there to test the waters. It's a beautiful experience in itself, but it also shows me whether I am welcome in hyperspace or not.
One more thing. It feels like DMT wants to get the respect it deserves. I find if you treat this experience with respect you'll be rewarded and get most out of it. I started to say a mantra right before I journey and I feel it really helped so far.

I hope this helps a bit. Good luck on your travels!

After several nights of wondering if I will or if I won't I finally worked up the courage to try this. I smoked a small amount changa last night, 55mg of 25%. One hit; body feel, "oh, I remember now, this is the way dmt feels" then took a second and then things started to get wobbly, if I closed my eyes I could see faint CEVs. There was still a third hit in the bowl and at this point the fear was gone but I had no motivation to go deeper. It was really just a threshold experience but although part of me wanted to smoke the rest I had no motivation to actually do it, as weird as that sounds. My intention in smoking that changa was to conquer the fear leading up to dosing and to ask the question "should I smoke dmt right now or not" and having put my toe into the DMT realm I felt I faced my fear in some small way, and I felt the answer was kind of "for tonight you should smoke *that much* dmt and no more"

I don't know what will happen tonight but I am thankful everyone in this thread for sharing their advice and encouragement, you got me over that first hump.

I had been thinking that it was great seeing you around here again

Glad you're getting back into the space.

One love

 

[Voidmatrix]

For those who haven't seen "This Thread."



One love

 

[The Sofa Traveler]

For those who haven't seen "This Thread."



One love

Haha I missed this thread, nice ! Moar !

 

[Voidmatrix]

A few other notes that may be helpful and I somehow neglected to think of until now (likely because I am all over the place )

I have a small notebook that is dedicated to DMT (but can be applied to other psychedelics as well in many parts) and its purpose is to help me move through the blocks that prevent me from going as deep as I like. The kinds of notes range from reasons why I do what I do, to ideas and concepts that can provide confidence and understanding, to telling myself to just go for it more often. When I can remember to open this notebook up, especially before a journey, it tends to make movement into the space much easier.

I've also found it helpful to read older reports that I've journaled or shared here so that I can have better memory of successfully and comfortably (as much as is possible with DMT) traversing the space. Revisiting "success" can help elicit further "success."

One love

 

[RowRowRow YourBoat]

After my initial time dipping my toes in with changa, I did about the same amount a few nights later but got a bit nervous about my environment and backed out of going deeper.

Today I smoalked freebase(15mg) for the first time in well over a year. I met a pretty and friendly underwater flower. It was flapping its petals in the breeze of the underwater currents sending the message that the water is fine. The water is just fine.

I have never felt that feeling of 'home' that people speak of on DMT until this time; it felt safe, accepting, and comfortable. It felt nice to be there again and now I want to dive into it. I was tempted to right then and there, but I want to let this happiness and excitement from such a simple experience continue to run through me awhile longer. The relief from my fear is so great. Tonight I'm going swimming!