Please help, I can no longer fully experience DMT

[Elmo Mentz]

Hello all,
This is my first post here and it is a desperate one. I was introduced to DMT using a vape cartridge and while I had never broken through on it, I truly enjoyed the interaction I had. The world took on a new dimension when I took it. inanimate objects became living things, like the ceiling fans became plants with the same basic shape but like an alien plant. Like I was straddling the border between this world and the next. I was amazed because unlike the substances I had done previously, DMT actually seemed to cleanse my mind and I was able to interact with the world coherently and when it wore off, I felt refreshed, emotionally drained but refreshed. I know now why there is an interest in using it for the treatment of addiction.
My problem came when I extracted my own. I did not know much and hadn't even heard of this site and I followed no safety protocols so forgive me for that. I had heard of people seeing the gods or interacting with other sentient beings in another space, but I didn't know anyone who had. After my extraction, which was very sad, I had a small amount on the bottom of the pan. I really didn't have enough to scrape but I did have a Seahorse device and decided to smoke it directly from there. I had a process of taking three hits without breathing between from the cartridges and that produced a very nice experience every time. I took the first 2 hits from the bottom of the pan and knew it was going to be intense but when I took the third and blew it out the world started to fall away. I felt as if I was being dragged into another world and I wasn't prepared for this. I started my process for stabilizing myself but that is when things really went south. I laid back on my bed and started to focus on my breathing, that is when I realized I wasn't breathing. I sat up and was able to gasp for air but I was still being taken and there was a clicking sound that I can only explain as some type of insect trying to communicate with me. That is when time rewound and everything started over. This happened several times, with me adding a new step to try and stabilize myself each time, and at the end of each series I would realize I wasn't, and don't believe I had been, breathing. Not holding my breath, like I had just stopped breathing at the exhale when I had blown out the last hit. I went through this several times so that in the end it was lay back on the bed, sit up, stand up, sit down again and then try and focus on taking deep breaths and realize again I wasn't breathing. I gasped for air and called my dog and put my hands on him to ground me to this world. Either the DMT was wearing off a little or I struggled enough to maintain but I was actually able to breathe this time and while it was like standing in raging river and trying not to be swept away, I was able to physically resist. I literally told whatever someone or something that I now believe had been there to guide me, but I could be wrong, and was trying to pull me into this other world, that I would not go unless I was in control. At this point the feeling of being swept down a river subsided tremendously, and I was left with a feeling that I had made a mistake. The rest of the experience was at best a ghostly reflection of the colors and geometric shapes I had experienced before. I have been unable to come close to peeking through the vail again. I believe now that my ego and need to control everything around me is what caused the issue. I use DMT because it seems to cleanse my spirit I guess you could say. All of the stress and emotional garbage are washed away after I come down from my DMT high. That has lessened now and there are no beautiful colors and visuals of growing flowing geometric patterns. It is like because of my refusal to be led and to cooperate I have been banned from taking the journey. I have asked to be forgiven and even offered to give control of very breath, which in writing this makes me think that may be the problem. Sorry that truly was a new realization. Here is the last nugget of knowledge. Last night I was quite desperate for relief because of some truly harsh emotionally wrenching things that have been going on and I pushed the limits with DMT as well as some other things and began to break through. Again I realized I wasn't breathing. I had a friend with me this time and was able to calm myself. Once I had him making sure I was breathing while we were on our trip, I was able to enjoy it somewhat, but it was not like before. I think now that I offered control of my breath but when tested I was unable to let go of that control and therefore, I think I lied to the gods. Has anyone experienced anything like this and if so, do you have any idea of how to resolve it?

 

[Voidmatrix]

I have not experienced what you've discussed, but I have been using DMT for quite a while :twisted:

Generally, it seems for most people that the more you surrender the more control the experience gives you, it's paradoxical, somewhat like finger cuffs. In a sense, learning to control yourself so much that you don't need to control anything "external" to you.

DMT is also weird... like really weird... you never know what you're going to get. I've had swathes of time that were a lot of dark experiences were had, but then things change to more pleasant, and then change at some other point where I'm put in experiences that I don't know what to think of. Then there may just be a random sequence of these three very broad categories of experience. I tend to look at harder experiences as opportunities to "do the work."

As for the breathing, your kind of experience is why I try not to attach too much to trying to center on breath; it's possible to go so far that you can't track things like your own breath. Just try to remember that breathing is autonomic, and it's hard to overdose on DMT.

You may also want to take a break for a while. Never hurts. I look forward to my breaks (currently on break for another 9 days). Time away seems to lend itself to rekindling the vibrancy of the experience. DMT won't be going anywhere . Focus on your everyday experience and come back when you feel called/compelled to.

One love

 

[MAGMA17]

Hi and welcome!
My first experience was very similar to what you told. In my case we are talking about Harmala + Mimosa. I also did not feel ready, because I had the immediate sensation of something too strong. I had the same breathing problem as you, which was the most annoying thing about the trip. Not wanting to be carried away, I started mentally clinging to those I loved, thinking about my girlfriend and my best friend. One thing I was trying to focus on was water. I thought about how important it was to us, how shiny and beautiful it was. Every now and then I forgot about its existence or what it was, and then I tried to remember and visualize it. This was definitely an automatic response from my body, probably going into survival mode or something. Being therefore in this state of continuous struggle, obviously the breath was the element that made me understand if I was still here or not. However, if you start to have too much awareness of the breath, you could fall into a mechanism where it seems to you that it no longer works automatically as it always does. Obviously this is not true, but you may think so. And in fact that's what it looked like to me.

Then, when I got to the peak, I just closed my eyes and went unconscious for I don't know how long. I don't remember anything about what happened in that time frame. I just remember that when I opened my eyes I no longer knew who I was, and I didn't recognize anything around me. I looked at the closet and the feeling was like "what is this giant thing? What is it for?". And the automatic breathing, obviously, worked :lol:

Don't worry and don't make hasty conclusions. You certainly have a lot of time ahead and probably before returning perhaps something has to change in your earthly journey (which always remember is the most important right now for you!). Accept everything.

 

[fink]

Hi, thanks for sharing. You can be reassured in the fact that the human brain can survive perfectly fine up to 6 minutes without oxygen before anything bad would happen. With training even longer. So even in the very unlikely event that you were not breathing during the peak of a DMT flash you would more than likely not suffer permanent damage.

But you were breathing I would imagine.

One possibility is time dilation. It could be that the moments you felt like you were not breathing were just the pauses between normal respiration that to you seemed hugely exaggerated.

 

[Fridge]

Welcome to the Nexus, Elmo!

My fellow Nexians above have already covered important points.

I just want to add that the feeling of not breathing anymore is something I experience often, when I go deep. I believe it's a common thing, at least I heard/read many reporting about this sensation.
It is always a bit unsettling, especially in the beginning. What I do is taking a deep breath and even though I don't feel the air filling my lungs, I can audibly hear myself breathing in. That helps me ground myself, helps me to reconfirm that everything is ok with my physical body and allows me to focus on what I came for.

Maybe give it some time, like Void already mentioned. I am sure DMT still has many things to show to you.

 

[HolasHarmalas]

DMT is quite unpredictible. Sometimes it will knock your socks off with relly small dosage, sometimes you smoalk a lot but have only some mild buzz.

Have you tried shrooms? There are very nice panaeolus shrooms wild in Texas.
Pans are very nice.

 

[Elmo Mentz]

Thanks everyone, I feel much better knowing that others have had the breathing sensation as well. I'm a pretty logical person but I seriously thought there was a being out there just messing with me. The time thing is a little annoying, but I think that is in my head as well. I'll feel much more confident the next time I try and that will go a long way. It's really weird because up until that point my favorite thing about it was that I had the visuals and as a bonus I felt euphoric yet more mentally sharp. I am guessing it was just the panic that messed with me. I know that once I was able to calm down this last time, after I knew my friend was watching for me, I was able to enjoy the ride. It has been Close to a year since I had that experience. I'm not a regular user because apparently I can't figure out the extraction technique for Acacia and I keep coming out with nothing. I'm going to get some supplies and try again with the motto that I had always used for LSD "relax you're on drugs and this probably isn't real". Thanks for all of your comments.

 

[Elmo Mentz]

Oh and yes @HolasHarmalas I have tried shrooms. I love shrooms. For me there is always a lot olf purple and green lol. The only thing is the after effects and the length can be problematic.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Thanks everyone, I feel much better knowing that others have had the breathing sensation as well. I'm a pretty logical person but I seriously thought there was a being out there just messing with me. The time thing is a little annoying, but I think that is in my head as well. I'll feel much more confident the next time I try and that will go a long way. It's really weird because up until that point my favorite thing about it was that I had the visuals and as a bonus I felt euphoric yet more mentally sharp. I am guessing it was just the panic that messed with me. I know that once I was able to calm down this last time, after I knew my friend was watching for me, I was able to enjoy the ride. It has been Close to a year since I had that experience. I'm not a regular user because apparently I can't figure out the extraction technique for Acacia and I keep coming out with nothing. I'm going to get some supplies and try again with the motto that I had always used for LSD "relax you're on drugs and this probably isn't real". Thanks for all of your comments.

If I may, try to temper your logic with regard to hyperspace. It's only going to help you so much and that amount isn't a lot :lol: (imo). Don't get me wrong, I'm highly logical as well (hell, I still study it and I'm not even in school anymore). Having a strong sense of intuition and internal balance will be powerful factors as well, because it's possible to go so far that not only will you lose track of your own breathing, but facilitating your own thinking may not be as fluid as you're used to. DMT always has something new to show you.

And please feel free to post any issues you're having with your extractions in this thread so that we can help you out! We want you to get there

One love

 

[Elmo Mentz]

Thank you, I would like to post there but I am seeing posts that are from several years back and I believe that much of what is in that thread is no longer relevant, especially things like the ammonia bath. Is there a way to filter threads to a date range so as not to get outdated information? I'll ask this in the welcome forum as well.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Thank you, I would like to post there but I am seeing posts that are from several years back and I believe that much of what is in that thread is no longer relevant, especially things like the ammonia bath. Is there a way to filter threads to a date range so as not to get outdated information? I'll ask this in the welcome forum as well.

I'm not sure if there is a way to filter.

It's an ongoing thread (it's almost 20 years old) so yes there is a great deal of irrelevant information, but you can still post present questions there and we'll try to help you. It's part of the nature of that specific thread.

One love

 

[Elmo Mentz]

Thanks I will, I always have alot questions though and I imagine it would be less annoying if I tried to find the answers before I ask the question . I will go ahead and post in the thread you gave me for now. I am quite sure they have been answered before though. Thanks for the kindness. :d

 

[brokedownpalace10]

When people feel like they are dying on DMT or 5-Meo, it seems to very commonly start with feeling like you are not breathing. Same happened to me on 5-Meo.

It would be interesting to hear what a person watching you sees when this happens. We know (although it's easy to forget during the experience) that your body will continue to breath.

However, it would be interesting to have someone tell you if you had even stopped breathing for a short time, if your breathing was erratic, etc..

 

[Elmo Mentz]

When people feel like they are dying on DMT or 5-Meo, it seems to very commonly start with feeling like you are not breathing. Same happened to me on 5-Meo.

It would be interesting to hear what a person watching you sees when this happens. We know (although it's easy to forget during the experience) that your body will continue to breath.

However, it would be interesting to have someone tell you if you had even stopped breathing for a short time, if your breathing was erratic, etc..

\

I actually did have someone watch me this last time. It is so messed up because they confirmed what everyone has basically told me and I had pretty much figured out already. "drumroll..." I only stop breathing if I consciously think about breathing lol. Which was messed up because I realized that and started trying to make myself not think about breathing which of course just made me think about
whether I was thinking about breathing and so the dog chased its tale . The good thing was because I heard from the group here, I knew what was happening so when I realized I wasn't breathing I didn't panic and gasp for air. It was annoying yet funny at the same time.

 

[klaupacius]

Based on your description I think you should start by doing a proper extraction based on a vetted tek (eg Noman without the ammonia bath). It may be that you simply have a poor product.