• Members of the previous forum can retrieve their temporary password here, (login and check your PM).

Please, I had my first trip and I don't want to go back. I need help.

Migrated topic.
B

babyseal27

Rising Star
Last night I did DMT for the first time. I don't know how much I did, I just know that I snorted a good sized line. If I were to guess how much it was, I'd say around 100 mg.

So I laid down in my bed and waited for it to start. Time slowed down, it looked like my room was made of a bunch of different copies of itself all overlapping each other. Then I began to zone out with my eyes open and thats when I appeared in the DMT realm. When I appeared it was like figures in cloaks all turned to look at me. They looked at me like I was an animal that had escaped it's cage or something. The next thing I knew, it was like I was laying down in a doctor's office and the figure was looking at me and recording whatever information it got from me into a computer.

I was absolutely terrified because I had no idea what it was doing to me or what it had planned for me. It didn't communicate in any way. It just sat there analyzing and typing into the computer next to me. It didn't feel like I was supposed to be there. Every one says you're supposed to go to a place of love and light but this wasn't anything like that. I didn't even close my eyes because I was scared of what they would do to me if I went deeper into their world.

Please, I need help understanding. I'm scared to go back. I don't know what to do.

https://imgur.com/a/MRkKx

^This is a crude drawing of what the figure looked like. Has anybody seen anything similar? What the hell did they want with me?
 
No I didn't know how. I was just so scared and didn't want to be there. It definitely didn't give me any positive vibes or reassurance of any type.
 
Hello Babyseal27,

Sorry to hear of your uncomfortable trip. In my experience, the uncomfortable trips are usually the ones that teach us the most. It's debatable whether we're actually traveling to other places & meeting separate entities or if our trips are deep internal constructs. Either way I'd ask the same question, just for different reasons.

Do you have issues with social anxiety? Do you feel uncomfortable when people look at you in public or feel judged easily? These are personal questions, so please don't feel obligated to answer. I only ask because 2 of my friends that do suffer from social anxiety have both had intensely uncomfortable DMT journeys. Both have been stuck in rooms, being observed by millions of eyes & met entities the that seemed to be judging them.

In the case of us actually shifting dimensions & coming in contact with living entities, it's possible that they are reacting towards you in such a manner because of the way you have entered their space & the way that you're holding yourself? If it is purely an internal construct, perhaps these are issues that you are struggling with deep down & the DMT helped bring them to the surface or drag you to the depths?

If none of this applies to you, I apologize & ask that you completely ignore what I've written. I'm sure there are much more intelligent & qualified members of the Nexus that will be able to help you. I'm just speaking from my own & my friends experiences. I personally have been to both light & dark places, but managed to gain something from all of my jouneys.

Good luck on your travels, take care. 😊
 
Hey Oksar,

Yes, I really don't like when people look at me. I don't like when people try to understand or figure out what I'm doing and what I am. Maybe I just went into this with the wrong mindset, thinking that these things were going to try to hurt me. But it's just that when I think about humans trying to understand things, they are absolutely brutal and uncaring. Like if a sole alien came to earth, it seems to me that humans would gather as much information from it as possible and then kill it and dissect it to see how it works. Its hard for me to trust these beings when I don't know anything about them.

In retrospect, I should have introduced myself and tried to become friends but I couldn't think straight enough to form those kinds of rational thoughts. All I knew was that I was terrified.
 
babyseal27 said:
Last night I did DMT for the first time. I don't know how much I did, I just know that I snorted a good sized line. If I were to guess how much it was, I'd say around 100 mg.

So I laid down in my bed and waited for it to start. Time slowed down, it looked like my room was made of a bunch of different copies of itself all overlapping each other. Then I began to zone out with my eyes open and thats when I appeared in the DMT realm. When I appeared it was like figures in cloaks all turned to look at me. They looked at me like I was an animal that had escaped it's cage or something. The next thing I knew, it was like I was laying down in a doctor's office and the figure was looking at me and recording whatever information it got from me into a computer.

I was absolutely terrified because I had no idea what it was doing to me or what it had planned for me. It didn't communicate in any way. It just sat there analyzing and typing into the computer next to me. It didn't feel like I was supposed to be there. Every one says you're supposed to go to a place of love and light but this wasn't anything like that. I didn't even close my eyes because I was scared of what they would do to me if I went deeper into their world.

Please, I need help understanding. I'm scared to go back. I don't know what to do.

https://imgur.com/a/MRkKx

^This is a crude drawing of what the figure looked like. Has anybody seen anything similar? What the hell did they want with me?
Click to expand...

Don't worry, the experience isn't going to hurt you. Many here have experienced what you have and many have had much crazier experiences than this. You come back though. You're not alone.

These questions you have I highly doubt you're going to get any concrete answers. The experience doesn't work like that. It's not something to be 'figured out'. It's a real mystery. Just know that it exists, that's all that's required.

And regarding the 'everyone says its love and light' ..well I'd say not everyone haha. Everyone handles what they experience and see differently when it comes to these powerful experiences. One persons hell is anothers heavenly bliss, or anothers negative experience can be anothers 'lets blast through this and conquer!'. It's all relative in these regards. Some people I feel are just better equipped to handle these things ime, and 'why' that is Im not totally sure.

I've been there more times than I can count, reality completely gone and replaced ,reassembled into a new configuration of impossibility existing as a discarnate observer in a realm of unfathomable power and no-word-ness. I've had experiences where they would jump into and out of my chest [only happened a handful of times], other times during they would work up into the front of the head, along the bridge of my nose, putting immense pressure throughout, seeming to repair, prod around a bit, reassemble and move along. Tbh im not sure what any of that meant, though Im still here breathing, typing this out. :p

Being scared or nervous to go back is normal when you have a powerful experience. Not everyone hits the mark with DMT, but when they do - watch out! :twisted: 😁 :p :lol: :shock:

Take some time, go enjoy life, get outdoors, laugh, hang with friends, spend some time with family and those closest.

Also what I've found to benefit me over the years is accepting the experience on its own terms and not trying to impose my primate-limited concepts and ideals on what the experience could, should, may be. It effortlessly blows past all this ime. The experience always seems to remind me that I 'don't know'..

Try to keep reaction/s to a minimal during the experience and just keep observing, no matter what.
 
One of the interesting characteristics of DMT is that it sometimes inspires fear - this marks the experience as existentially authentic. One of the interesting approaches to evaluating such a compound is to see how eager people are to do it a second time. A touch of terror gives the stamp of validity to the experience because it means, "This is real." We are in the balance. We read the literature, we know the maximum doses, the LD-50, and so on. But nevertheless, so great is one's faith in the mind that when one is out in it one comes to feel that the rules of pharmacology do not really apply and that control of existence on that plane is really a matter of focus of will and good luck.

I'm not saying that there's something intrinsically good about terror. I'm saying that, granted the situation, if one is not terrified then one must be somewhat out of contact with the full dynamics of what is happening. To not be terrified means either that one is a fool or that one has taken a compound that paralyzes the ability to be terrified. I have nothing against hedonism, and I certainly bring something out of it. But the experience must move one's heart, and it will not move the heart unless it deals with the issues of life and death. If it deals with life and death it will move one to fear, it will move one to tears, it will move one to laughter. These places are profoundly strange and alien.

-terence McKenna
Click to expand...

-eg
 
babyseal27 said:
Last night I did DMT for the first time. I don't know how much I did, I just know that I snorted a good sized line. If I were to guess how much it was, I'd say around 100 mg.
Click to expand...

You snorted it? :shock:
I once tried to snort a bit..It hurt/burned/stinged (dunno the exact English word for it) like hell..did it hurt?
 
Well, there are two ways to see this: one is the way the other users replied here, trying to explain your experience based on your psychology, and the things you're afraid that manifested.

The other way to see this, is to see it literally: that you assumed an existence in another reality. Since all realities are interconnected, whatever's a tree here, it can be something else in another reality. So that "animal that got out of its cage", could be something like being an inanimate object in their universe while you're a human here. So when your consciousness shifted to that reality, in that body, it was weird for them to see you move or exist in that way there. Hence the feeling that you were doing something they didn't expect, and the subsequent medical exam to trying to figure out how this happened.

In both cases, there shouldn't be any fear though. In the first case it's just your mind making it all, and in the other case, it's just a bunch of aliens that got jumped. ;-)
 
You didn't measure your dose and you snorted it on your FIRST time??? You my friend, are a badass! I've smoked it 50 or so times and when the 1st hit kicks in I still get nervous. I meditate, I put on relaxing music, I get comfortable. Doing a rail and kicking my feet up though? Yeah, I'd be worried aliens would abduct me and start operating or inserting anal probes!

In all seriousness, things are probably pretty different for you now. My first experience was quite terrifying as well. The alien slowed down time and started moving my arms to prove it had taken over control of my body. They wanted to talk to me though. I haven't been the same since. I quit smoking cigarettes, doing drugs, drinking alcohol and eating meat for almost a month. I still don't smoke cigs anymore. I haven't stopped thinking about it. On my second breakthrough, they had advanced computers there too, but they were not using them while I was there.

I don't think we get to understand except while we are on the trip. *They* don't really seem angry when we visit, at least from my impression.

1. I would be curious to know if you intend to do this again.
2. I'm now considering snorting it next time!

Mindfuck realization: The alien might be your soul examining and inputting data about its property (you). For me, I came to believe my soul owns me and is interested in my life. It expresses approval and disapproval, it can give me gifts or take things from me. I better not piss it off...
 
This reminds SWIM very much on his first ayahuasca ceremony. But with a different outcome. There were scary alien surveillance cameras all over the place and SWIM thought: "You know this kind of scares me, right?" And with that thought they all turned into something less frightening. With every kind of adventure it's important to know where the comfort zone ends and where the terror zone starts (i.e. where one can not act at all because of one being too terrified). Ayahuasca is probably easier to handle because it doesn't move so fast.
SWIM ended the experience with a feeling of being hugged gently and told that everything is allright.

Believing in SWIY's soul being the counterpart makes it easier to adress any issue. Because the soul knows SWIY very well. Pretty much SWIY's whole life. So it will understand. All of SWIY's needs. Be patient with and trust yourself.
 
What "werver" mentioned reminded me of these quotes:

So, whatever this thing is, it keeps itself masked. I’ve literally had the experience on mushrooms of saying to it, “Show me what you are, for yourself.” Well, it’s like there’s this enormous organ chord, the temperature falls, black velvet curtains are raised — and after about 20 seconds of that, I’m saying, “That’s enough of what you are for yourself! Let’s go back to the dancing mice…” -terence McKenna
Click to expand...

I have a friend who.says of psilocybin mushrooms "every time I take it my goal is to.stand more", and he doesn't mean "stand more" in terms of dosage, he means "stand more" in terms of content, because it can always raise the bar higher than you can jump, I mean, I've had dialogues with it where after hours of dancing mice and personal revelations and kind of a sense of familiarity, I've said to it "well, what are you really? Show me what you are for yourself"...and it's like wow! My God!, the temperature in the room begins to fall towards zero, black drapes rise, there's an organ tone that shakes the earth, and after about 30 seconds of this I said "ok, enough of what you are for yourself! Let's go back to the dancing mice and the little candies rolling in the dark!" It knows that you have a limited capacity to absorb its alieness -terence McKenna
Click to expand...

-----

The whole "SWIM" thing is not a requirement here, it affords little to no legal protection and often times needlessly complicates posts. If it's something you enjoy using I suppose there's nothing wrong with that, however I always like to remind others that it's not required.

------

-eg
 
Thanks for the heads up! I'm new to posting in forums with this kind of content. So I appreciate feedback on netiquette.

Also it is nice to hear that Terence McKenna himself knows and respects his boundaries and doesn't relentlessly push them to the limits.

I would have liked to send this via PM, but apparently that only works when you are a full member. So sorry for the off-topic.
 
babyseal27 said:
I was absolutely terrified because I had no idea what it was doing to me or what it had planned for me. It didn't communicate in any way. It just sat there analyzing and typing into the computer next to me. It didn't feel like I was supposed to be there. Every one says you're supposed to go to a place of love and light but this wasn't anything like that. I didn't even close my eyes because I was scared of what they would do to me if I went deeper into their world.

Please, I need help understanding. I'm scared to go back. I don't know what to do.

https://imgur.com/a/MRkKx

^This is a crude drawing of what the figure looked like. Has anybody seen anything similar? What the hell did they want with me?
Click to expand...

Usually for me if there is some trigger point in my subconscious that affects my life that I am not allowing myself to be aware of or in denial of DMT has a way of bubbling it up to the surface. Often in an abstract way like this. I can also be very affected by media I consume and things I obsess about. These things are real drivers of the narrative if I examine them properly and I can often glean what the integration work is respectively. That's why setting intentions but losing expectations are talked about so much on the Nexus.

I once snorted an eyeballed dose of 2CB (never ever ever EVER again!!) that looked like 20mg but when my world broke in fractals in 90 seconds I knew I had messed up. Not enough to kill me but that was dangerous to do and all because i couldn't get my scale to balance and I was impatient.

Like the others I am curious if the experience was painful to your sinuses?
 
MissDMT said:
Since when can you snort DMT??? Someone explain this to me ???
Click to expand...

Since before 1200 BC I'm guessing...

Well, that's one of the earliest dates for ancient snuff tubes and trays used for insufflation of Anadenanthera seeds...

Smoking pipes from NW Argentina and associated Anadenanthera seeds, dated to c. 2130. B.C., and snuff trays and tubes from the central Peruvian coast (c. 1200 B.C.), represent the most ancient use of ancient use of psychoactive plants in South America...
Click to expand...

Archaeological evidence of insufflation use within the period 500-1000 AD, in northern Chile, has been reported. -Wikipedia
Click to expand...

-eg
 
MissDMT said:
Since when can you snort DMT??? Someone explain this to me ???
Click to expand...

I recently had DMT acetate applied to my nasal passages. DMT acetate is a bit of an oily mess, but water soluble so I mixed it with saline solution. I started by snorting 100mg harmine HCl split between the nostrils. I had mixed up 10 mL of saline solution with 100mg of DMT freebase converted to acetate salt. I laid with my head back and had my GF place drops into my nostrils. I was able to get 4mL (40mg) into my sinuses before the excess of fluid and stinging became too much.
It lasted about 90 minutes and was a mild-moderate experience.

If I try this again, I will mix some baking soda with the saline solution to balance the pH, and I will try to dissolve it in less volume but honestly, I'm not really sure that I will as making this sort of sacrifice for a 90 minute trip is not that great. I also had a moderate hangover the next morning. I seem to have troubles putting DMT in my stomach as it causes nausea that lasts throughout the trip and gives the trip a horrible flavor. This is why I gave nasahuasca a shot. For my next excursion, I plan on mixing oral pharmahuasca with ondasetron (strong 5HT-3 antagonist), or trying anahuasca.
 
Back
Top Bottom