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preflight anxiety

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Jamie ONeil

Jamie ONeil

Jamie O'Neil
I have a serious case of it. I've only done DMT once, and I really enjoyed it. I was not afraid; nothing scary happened. In fact, it was profound. I was astonished, and I am still integrating it to some extent. But, I'm eager to do it again, while at the same time, anxious. I became a little obsessed with it for a week or so. And, I have shared with a few others. I want to do it again, but I'm nervous!

Am I alone here? I have read a few pretty terrifying accounts, along with even more magical ones. I have never had any kind of bad trip on anything, and I approach DMT with the GREATEST of reverence. I'm so excited that it has come into my life, and I see it being catalyst for a big change.

So why am I so nervous?
 
I am positive that all here would agree that it is normal.
It would be abnormal to not feel a little nerves before jumping into the abyss.
 
You're nervous because you're about to exit this world and into another dimension that holds this universe together.

You're nervous because you are about to experience your consciousness on overdrive,
and you are about to be subjected to a massive amount of frequencies not normally perceivable.

You're also nervous because you're probably being watched by some highly advanced technology/alien life.

I've gone so many times, and I still get anxious. It's totally normal. I've rarely ever not been anxious before dissolving... even with low dose recalibrations.

We're dealing with one of the most important things our existence has ever had to deal with. This is a big deal. That is why you feel the way that you do.

P.s.

Whenever I come back, I feel silly for being a little apprehensive, but that's just the way it goes.
 
I find it helps to conciously clear my mind - maybe go for a nice long de-focussing walk - clear up the house, lots of deep breathing, stretching, that kind of thing. Settle down in the chair, breath until the heart rate slows donw a bit, and then I'm ready.
 
What I find helps is to smoke it without hesitating first. Don't sit with the pipe, torturing yourself. IF its gonna be a good experience, why hesitate? right?
just smoke up and smile and after doing that a few times it'll be gone. :) good luck.
 
<You're nervous because you are about to experience your consciousness on overdrive,
and you are about to be subjected to a massive amount of frequencies not normally perceivable.

You're also nervous because you're probably being watched by some highly advanced technology/alien life.>

I am fully convinced that it is NOT a hallucination. I've been in spirituality for decades, and the one DMT trip I had confirmed everything I've ever known. I really think the DMT allows us to access the senses that are blocked from us. I do believe it's TIME we woke up. Something BIG is coming, and we need to be ready.

I knew there were others, but I always thought of them as "out there." Now, I know they are HERE. For two weeks, I was a little nervous when I looked into an empty room, because now I know that it ISN'T EMPTY. I admit I'm nervous about this realization. I'm starting to get over that part a little.

The most profound feeling I got form the experience, and the feeling that I'm left with goes to the core of me and it is this: It is not new. I KNOW it already. I've been there. I came from there. I know it oh, so much better than I know this existence here on planet Earth. It's so familiar. The familiarity is overwhelming, consuming.

It's been 6 weeks. I keep feeling like I'm almost ready to go there again. But I'm still not ready, even though I want to be. I am getting closer. I want to go home again. I know I belong there. I don't want to be afraid.
 
Weird thing - first time I smelt spice, I instantly recognised it. it was totally familiar. Part of my brain said, yup, that's the one.
 
I've never had a bad experience with DMT. But at the same time I know that it can show me all things possible. That's the part that's scarey.

Yes to all or don't fly. Eventually you'll say yes, but your heart will never slow down.
 
Only time SWIM has a bad experience is when he's too worried about it or drunk.
Know you'll enjoy yourself.
Tell it to be gentle and loving and, it likely will.

Just the other night SWIM started a bad journey and quickly FORCED himself to realize no matter what, it'd all be alright, the trip will always end..
Turned out to be one of his most pleasant experiences to date.
I believe 90% of the sort of experience one has is in the mind and the willingness to just "let it be."

Good luck!
 
I am in the same spot as Jaime. I had three breakthroughs over the course of a few days and the final one was just so intense and explosive. This was about three weeks ago and I think about it all the time but I am not ready to go back there.
 
A great thing I tend to do before embarking is light a nice smelling candle or a stick of incense, turn off all the music and distractions, and close my eyes and focus inward for about 10-15 minutes...just enough time to get the mind to attain one-pointedness. The pre flight anxiety that i get every time is diminished greatly.

And during the meditation I ALWAYS smile..not just with my face..but also with my heart :)


luminous travels friend~
 
swim's been using spice for some time now, but each time he sits still with a changa-loaded pipe in his hands, he feels nervous.
when swim just began exploring hyperspace, he used to drink some absenth (i now it's bad:p ).
One day he realised that the more he spends, trying to deal with anxiety, the more he become anxious.
so don't worry, just grab it and make a big toke like-there's-no-tommorow :)
p.s. the aroma of Palo Santo calms abit
 
I think the nervousness stems from all of the above mentioned also just the simple fact of entering an unpredictable realm and the vague reccolection of the immense power of the stuff. There are alot of unknowns. Lately I have been starting with smaller doses and easing my self in. This can really work . Its almost like showing yourself "see its ok it won't hurt you" as you get more comfortable then you can really go in hard and at least your better set up and somewhat acclimated to the stuff. No guarantees but that works for me.
 
I get that feeling everytime I blast off. It's normal. I've come to like the feeling.

You just gotta bite the bullet and go for it.
 
Wow - thank you all for the gentle words. Of course I know all this - and despite it being typical, I still feel a ltitle silly for being anxious. The pre-flight meditation is a great idea.

The truth is, my only reason for anxiety is knowledge of the power and the incredible expansiveness of consciousness that I know will happen. It doesn't come from any even remotely frightening experience - Isacred everyone else in the room when I blasted off, but I myself was not afraid. I do remember one moment of anxiety,and remember my hands tightening, and then something communicated, "no, no, don't do that-it's OK," and I let go.


Surrender is not my strong suit,and perhaps that is a major lesson DMT holds for me. I have control issues, but at the same time, I know that I don't have control at all - it's an illusion. It's ALL an illusion!

My son suggested small doses to get past the anxiety, too. Truth is, I'm not sure I "broke through" the first time. I thought i did, then thought I didn't, then that I did. now I admit I just don't know. I definitely "exploded." Some of it I don't remember. Some of what I do remember I can't articulate. Exploding and being monitored is a distinct memory, and other parts have drifted back to me over time.

I DO love exploration, though. And I want as much enlightenment as I can deal with, using this brain and still functioning in the 3-Dimensional world.

I also love the idea of asking for a loving experience (again). Last time, my wife received exactly what she asked for. (She asked for a specific healing.)
 
Jamie ONeil said:
Surrender is not my strong suit,and perhaps that is a major lesson DMT holds for me.
Click to expand...

I'm the same. I do tend to be fine until I hit that thing. Then when that feeling of "now disengaging reality as you know it" countdown from 5 starts, I tense up till the crescent of the carrier wave passes through me. Then its all bliss
 
I think the nervousness is very much a necessary integral part of the Spice experience, as it creates a deep level of respect and awareness within me. Ego loss is the most terrifying experience that I have ever experienced but after the ego has been dissolved the knowledge and wisdom gained is completely awe inspiring. The path of pure compassion is my personal path that I need to embark upon on my entheogen journey, through complete compassion is the only way forward...


Much Peace and Compassion
 
As others have said anxiety is a part of the experience.

Try not to fear the fear,try and embrace it,suck it up,it reminds you your alive.
And remember this can't hurt you.

Also sticking to your own ritual can be comforting.I always have a drink of water before closing my eyes.



There's a balance to most things in life,and this is the case with substances you consume.

If you take heroin,sure you might feel fantastic for a while,or if you use cocaine you'll be filled with confidence and think your the bees knees.
But these experiences are hollow and worthless and when it comes to redressing the balance,you always have to pay back.
Same goes for booze or cream cakes.


But when it comes to the Spice,I feel it's like the other way around,your investing rather than borrowing.

You have to pay up front with a bit of anxiety,commitment,some mental fortitude,some brutally honest self assessment,and as Aegle said the terrifying ego destruction.

But get your investment plan right,and the rewards are immeasurable.

Good luck on your journey.

Spicegnosis.
 
Spicegnosis said:
As others have said anxiety is a part of the experience.


If you take heroin,sure you might feel fantastic for a while,or if you use cocaine you'll be filled with confidence and think your the bees knees.
But these experiences are hollow and worthless and when it comes to redressing the balance,you always have to pay back.
Same goes for booze or cream cakes.


But when it comes to the Spice,I feel it's like the other way around,your investing rather than borrowing.

You have to pay up front with a bit of anxiety,commitment,some mental fortitude,some brutally honest self assessment,and as Aegle said the terrifying ego destruction.

But get your investment plan right,and the rewards are immeasurable.


Spicegnosis.
Click to expand...

This is a beautiful, insightful observation. Thank you. Thank all of you.
I know i will go back, and it seems like a long time before I do, but I think maybe I have been developing a relationship with the molecule. I never did that before journeying the first time - it kind of knocked on my door, said, "Here I am! Are you really ready to explore consciousness?" And, me being the adventurer I am, said, "Sure!!"
Since that first jump into the void, I've had a VERY strong calling to It. I've been borderline obsessed with learning all I can about it. The calling to initiate others has actually outweighed the calling to do it again myself, but that scale is tipping. At first, I thought this backwards, but in South American tribes, the females are often the gatherers of the magic, and the medicine women, but not the ones who brave the frontier. I feel a little like a medicine woman in this world. Although, certainly I will do it again, and undoubtedly with an even greater reverence than I had the first time (and it was certainly great then!). Indeed, a greater reverence than I would have thought possible.

I used to think mushrooms were the window to consciousness. Now I know I was right! And DMT - well, it's the complete obliteration of any sort of confinement of consciousness. if mushrooms opened the window, DMT blew up the whole structure.
 
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