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Psychological reconstruction

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rjb

rjb

Rising Star
Hello everybody,

A few weeks ago I started a Mazatapec grow kit (my first mushroom grow), and just a couple of days ago I've gathered the most of the first flush and dried them, ending with 3.6 grams. I have to mention I only tested a few fresh ones during the growth period, to see how potent they were, how I would handle them, etc.

So this afternoon I thought it was time. I weighed 1.6g, cut them to very small pieces and downed them with half a glass of orange juice. Mood was great, music too. I was enjoying the stuff you guys posted in the Ambient/Psybient thread, as well as the DMT Music thread the other day. I lost myself into the music, the visualizations, all of it. Slowly, not sure exactly how or why, I ended up with one foot into the middle of the Milky Way and the other into my kitchen. The whole galaxy was in front of my eyes, in my block's garden, and I was right at the center of it. I was all the people I've ever known, my neighbors, my pets, the trees in front of me. All at once.

I just was, and it seemed to me like this will go on forever. There were no fears, no good or bad things. All those things were long gone where I went. I started wandering what's the purpose of the human kind as a whole, because I couldn't see a "point" of existence anymore. Cosmic showers of information rained down on me and soon I was completely erased of any belief I ever had. I literally just stood there, dumber than I could have ever imagined myself. I feared for my sanity, I thought that I'd never be able to get on with my usual life as I have before the experience, because at that point everything I knew just seemed just irrelevant and wrong (it was like someone was implying this without me having any say in it). I knew what I was doing for a living, I knew my name and address, it just didn't make any sense at all anymore. This went on for a good 2 hours.

Around the 7 hour mark, I just decided to give in. If I'm gonna die, that's ok. If I am to live forever, that's ok too. There's no point in resisting it, so I might as well just "go with the flow". After a couple of minutes, everything just sort of came back. But I swore not to ever forget this experience and enjoy the life I have for every little thing it brings, no matter how insignificant it appears to be. I feel humble for having underestimated the mushroom, but I now have a stronger desire to understand everything that surrounds me. I realized I don't know shit, and that's quite a wake up call for me.
 
Thank you, Mt.B. I have tried to make sense of my experience the last few days, without much success. Until now, and this is why I felt the urge to write about it.

I've read in the last 2 days "The Teachings of Don Juan", which I can only sincerely recommend to everybody. The experiences are described in great detail and in such a great manner. Aside from that, the entire knowledge Don Juan possessed and the attitude he had towards things made me see things in a whole new way. I felt I was exactly like the apprentice (Castaneda) when he first began learning, an eager boy just looking for some fun, while missing the real teachings in front of him.

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I felt this is an important part that is related to the main experience:

DMT has also tried to show me I needed to express love towards the people that are still around me [made it very clear], but I was ignorant, just looking for the fun stuff. That's why I haven't felt the rush to try DMT for I think 3 weeks or so. Before this period, I was always eager to smoke some. Now I know it's because of my wrong attitude on how I viewed things.
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I now realize why I had felt so lonely and helpless when I traveled, and that is because I ignored what was being shown to me the easy way. The mushroom wanted to show me the aspects of my life I needed to work on, but instead I "gave way to amazement", as Terrence McKenna would put it. Instead of doing some work on myself and finding out what the mushroom needed to tell me, I was blinded by pretty visuals and how the objects looked, in general. We all know pretty well right about now that when the mushroom (or any other ally) wants to TELL you something, boy it will do so, by all means necessary. So the mushroom took away everything I had or knew to convey that to me, because I wouldn't understand it otherwise.

I embrace the experience I had because I know there was no other way around it since I couldn't see the forest for the trees. I wanted to improve my life, but I didn't know what or how to go about it. Through this experience, I now see that I was alone because I chose so. I was so absorbed by the rules and "values" that society teaches us, that I've lost contact with my inner self and my emotions. I had a pretty tough life as a child, and until now I've felt that childhood was a part of me that was lost forever. The mushroom brought that back for me, in a sense. I failed to see this during my trip, and again I must thank don Juan for triggering some sort of internal clock for me with his teachings.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this. It's good to be born again and start fresh :) I know the report doesn't cover ALL the aspects of the trip, but I found those described to be the most meaningful at this time.
 
Sounds like your DMT experiences have opened your third eye enough to where you would have a hyperspace experience even on just mushrooms. Would you agree? The reason i say this is because this sounds pretty intense for a mushroom trip especially with only 1.6 grams.
 
Great trip report, thanks allot for sharing. I can relate to that experience in so many ways. Ii sounds like it was a monumental experience. I imagine this one in particular will be an experience you reflect back to for a long time to come.

Mushrooms are strange like that..... they can come at you and engulf you . They can hold on to you for a very long time. They can even haunt you. For a very long time.
 
Nice report rjb. Mushrooms are very much like that, they give you what you need. Much like DMT. Which is not surprising because they have very similar elements / molecular structures. I'm curious: What kind of mushrooms did you consume?

Since I've started DMT over the last several years, nearly ALL of my mushroom experiences have had major elements of my DMT experiences. DMT has truly opened up a new third eye for experiencing mushroom

Peace & Love rjb,
-idt
 
majesticnature said:
Sounds like your DMT experiences have opened your third eye enough to where you would have a hyperspace experience even on just mushrooms. Would you agree? The reason i say this is because this sounds pretty intense for a mushroom trip especially with only 1.6 grams.
Click to expand...

Heh :) Might be so... I haven't worked up the courage to try a breakthrough dose on DMT, so I can't relate. But yeah, the whole DMT/meditation/lifestyle changes stuff I've been into lately has opened my mind a whole lot and in a whole different way than I expected. That, and a low psychedelic tolerance, apparently.

idtravlr said:
Nice report rjb. Mushrooms are very much like that, they give you what you need. Much like DMT. Which is not surprising because they have very similar elements / molecular structures. I'm curious: What kind of mushrooms did you consume?
Click to expand...

They were Mazatapecs.

I'm still getting the grip of this whole psychedelic experience, and I'm still overwhelmed by certain aspects, but it seems like my efforts to understanding these substances is going well if I keep a low pace...so I'm going to do that. I will get into another mushroom "therapy session" soon, my Golden Teachers and B+ are starting to pin...
 
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