question about ego death...

[olympus mon]

I have to agree with Apoc, sounds like a wonderful experience just not what you are labeling it as.

to be honest they arent even the most powerful life changing journeys ive had.

Personally, I can't imagine anything more powerful. I went from a person who had no spiritual beliefs whatsoever to being forcibly shown that I am nothing, yet I am everything. It was a definite turning point in my life, and the most important thing that has ever happened to me.

very true. please dont misunderstand me they were very powerful and life changing, just not the MOST powerful and life changing thing thats happened to me under dmt. not by a longshot! ego loss is definitely top 5 but not numero uno. the most life changing events in hyperspace for me i was very much self aware.

 

[zubidlo]

Hi,

please dont misunderstand me they were very powerful and life changing, just not the MOST powerful and life changing thing thats happened to me under dmt. not by a longshot! ego loss is definitely top 5 but not numero uno. the most life changing events in hyperspace for me i was very much self aware.

What do you mean? Could you be more concrete please? I'm wondering what could be more profound...:?:


Regards.

 

[olympus mon]

Hi,

please dont misunderstand me they were very powerful and life changing, just not the MOST powerful and life changing thing thats happened to me under dmt. not by a longshot! ego loss is definitely top 5 but not numero uno. the most life changing events in hyperspace for me i was very much self aware.

What do you mean? Could you be more concrete please? I'm wondering what could be more profound...:?:


Regards.

sure , i wont get into the specific trip report but the overview of my most powerful journeys were a series of 2-3 back journeys over a couple week period.
this is so hard to explain and i want to be brief so ill do my best.


what i saw each time is the type of thing i have a hard time with when it comes to dmt. every cell in body tells me it was "truth" but if it was it is so completely mind blowing and stranger than fiction that im not sure im ready for that kind of truth.

in a nut shell i was granted 3 face to face encounters with what human beings would call GOD. except its was not God because their isnt a "God". (i will use the gender "she" because it just was this way.)
i cant explain what she looked like exactly because its not even possible to exists in the 3 dimensional universe but ill try. not to mention it was told to me that this was simply a form chosen by her for me, she has no form or matter unless she chooses to.

her form was a working representation or the entirety of all that is possible of existing. every thing that can exist was shown start to finish and then shown how it participates in the "big cycle". that was what she was made from, that is what she looked like.

there are no god's and goddesses like we think of, their is just this one being that everyone and everything is a part of.
there is no hocu pocus, voodoo, magic, we are just labeling it as such because we dont understand the physics and science behind the mystical and paranormal but they are a very natural and inevitable part of physical reality. we grossly underestimate how advanced life can be and is. advanced enough that it blurs the line as to what is real.

ya see this probably doesn't make sense because their just aren't words to describe what i experinced. im having to make up terminology and hope you know what im talking about.

it was this profound to me because it happened to me. it will most likley leave little impression on anyone reading this.

it was just a very powerful journey because thats the day i started to pull away from "spirtuality" and "enlightment" and started to lean twords a whole new understanding of it all. it was a very big change for me as i was into the new age philosophy and that whole end of the spectrum. to look back now it feel like i was a different person in a way. no better or worse just different.

ya see for me ego death didn't tell me anything i didn't already believe. it was more a hugkey powerful confirmation.

the journey above taught and showed me stuff i never even dreamed possible. for me it was much more profound.

 

[soulfood]

You know what? I don't think to this day I've had full ego death with DMT. Definately not to the extent that I have had with mushrooms. I always seem to be just about still there and if I dose any higher I pretty much black out. With mushrooms I can just become an eye on the wall of a single energy looking in on the universe with no concept that I ever existed in the first place or indeed even if I'll ever exist again.

DMT just seems to silence my inner voice.

 

[zubidlo]

Hello Olympus,

sure , i wont get into the specific trip report but...
...
...
...
...
it was this profound to me because it happened to me. it will most likley leave little impression on anyone reading this...
...
...

Yeah.....you're right....
It leaves impression on me that you watch too much tv. I sense:

Stranger than fiction (2006)...
She (1965)...
Baraka (1992)...

I'M JUST F*CKING WITH YOU!!!

Great post. I know language is not enough to describe 'hyperspace events' (I think those movies are great too:d )
I can go back to sleep now.....


Thanks.
Regards.

 

[olympus mon]

sorry, never seen any of those movies and t.v. is nowhere near that cool. nope, just a wild imagination i guess :idea: :d

 

[Morphane]

ok. so, i experienced ego death for the first time this weekend. it was terrifying until it was over, then it was sooo peaceful. got a question: i've been peeling my onion for years now. why did i just now experience ego death? i've taken large doses before. i've eaten quite a number of psychedelics. i know that the ego is the conscious mind. seems to me that ego death is the complete disolving of the conscious mind so that one can accept the truth. i've had some things occur in my past that forced me into psychological evaluations. i've had my head shaved and been forced to wear a rubber cap with electrical probes to read brain activity. been issued an intense (2 day) IQ test from a certified psychologist. ink blot tests. personality tests. all that jazz. well, my IQ places me in the 90th percentile. i let my mind wander pretty far completely sober. i've had thoughts about life being a dream since i was a little boy. seriously. could it be that my conscious mind is open and expansive enough for me to have learned a lot from hallucinogens without having my ego destroyed? i've no idea. i could be as far from right as possible. just wondering. can anyone shed any light on this? strange to me that i've eaten so many weird drugs and have been doing it for so long to have never undergone this brilliantly refreshing experience. any advice would be great. i know that no matter how intelligent i am, this is was beyond my understanding. just wondering if anyojne out there could tell me why it's taken me so long...thanks...

Do you mean the process of ego dying is terrifying, but once it is complete, then there is peace. Because I assume once the ego is dead, there is nothing to fear.

Or do you mean that ego dying was terrifying, being ego dead was horrible, but once your ego came back, then it was peaceful?

 

[I am.]

Do you mean the process of ego dying is terrifying, but once it is complete, then there is peace. Because I assume once the ego is dead, there is nothing to fear.

Or do you mean that ego dying was terrifying, being ego dead was horrible, but once your ego came back, then it was peaceful?

i meant that the process of my ego doing was terrifying but once it was dead, it was sweet release. yeah. i saw a bunch of empty shelves with cobwebs on my journey to the bottom. my subconscious' was of telling me that there is nothing there and that there never has been. no fear. no anything. there is nothing. it's all empty space. once i hit bottom, the peace came. a lot of people i've spoken to say that the first time, even after their ego died, it was very frightening and hard to deal with, possible for days after. that it sucked to realize that there is nothing. me, i find peace in that there is nothing. that i don't exist. i don't matter. it means i don't have to live up to any preconceived notions of what a person should act like or do with their life. all i have to do is do what i know is right and i will come out on top. i figure out what is right for me by diving inside of myself. know what i mean?

 

[blue_velvet]

I have only experienced it with Salvia. It was one of the most terrifying things I've ever experienced. Coming out of it was no better because I was still tripping and ran crying and screaming out of the woods.

 

[shishigami]

I have only experienced it with a combination of nitrous and marijuana and only once. I was pretty high and took three whippets in quick succession. It was oddly not that terrifying because I was nothing and nothing can't be afraid. I haven't tried to approach it again but at some point I will.

 

[gibran2]

I have only experienced it with Salvia. It was one of the most terrifying things I've ever experienced. Coming out of it was no better because I was still tripping and ran crying and screaming out of the woods.

I almost always experience ego death with salvia. But I don’t understand how it can be terrifying. When one’s ego is gone, there are no memories of what you were before, there is no awareness that one’s ego has been dissolved. What is terrifying about it?

 

[shishigami]

I have only experienced it with Salvia. It was one of the most terrifying things I've ever experienced. Coming out of it was no better because I was still tripping and ran crying and screaming out of the woods.

I almost always experience ego death with salvia. But I don’t understand how it can be terrifying. When one’s ego is gone, there are no memories of what you were before, there is no awareness that one’s ego has been dissolved. What is terrifying about it?

That is my feeling too. When there is no ego what is there to be afraid of?

 

[blue_velvet]

That's a good question. My memory of it fails me. I guess I probably wasn't afraid during it, but coming out of it was a nightmare. It was like clawing my way to the surface from a grave.

 

[actualfactual]

The process was terrifying for me because I had no clue WTF was happening -- having my entire sense of self torn from me quite literally felt like I was like dying..when I realized I had a body again I popped out of bed and I was soaked in sweat

While ego-less all that is left is the feeling of pure divine unadulterated consciousness (you are nothing yet you are everything) -- for me it was a life changing experience

Afterwords was wonderful for the sense of rebirth..

 

[gibran2]

Yes – the process of ego death can be disturbing, more so with DMT than with salvia.

There are certain DMT experiences I’ve had that I would call “ego annihilation” and they follow a very predictable pattern, so I know in advance that it’s going to happen: A grayish-blue cloud or “smoke” approaches me slowly, and when it reaches me, I am annihilated. It’s a very strange feeling (and not a good feeling) to know in advance that you will soon be consumed.

Oddly enough, the ego death process with salvia has never been difficult for me. The transition is so smooth, I don’t even know it happened until I’m back.

 

[olympus mon]

thats a great way to put it gibran,

this has always been the way it happens to me. the transition is so smooth i don't even realizes i had a loss of self until im back in the ole body.
your grey cloud sounds fascinating in that it has happened multiple times the same way. very interesting.

 

[shishigami]

That's a good question. My memory of it fails me. I guess I probably wasn't afraid during it, but coming out of it was a nightmare. It was like clawing my way to the surface from a grave.

I can kind of see that. When coming back from mine I was initially afraid because I was alone but this fear quickly transitioned into wonder at how I was alive and how life is so complicated.