Report: First experience with DMT

[logistics]

Dosage: 25mg orange ACRB goo, then additional 30mg goo
Pre-experience:
I just finished making the Machine and decide to finally try to use some of my freshly extracted goo. I choose my room and my bed as my setting. I’m clear headed but excited for what’s to come. I contemplate turning the lights off but decide against it so I can better see what’s going on with my machine.

Experience:
As I get my hits I notice the steel wool glowing and crackling. I think to myself, “hmm that’s unexpected”. I’m able to take two solid hits until I’m no longer getting any vapor and experience slight chest discomfort, so I don’t hold them in as long as I probably should. I feel a very strong buzz from the bottom of my jaw, down my neck and shoulders to the middle of my chest. I notice that breathing is becoming more voluntary. My room looks brighter and peculiar, and I can clearly see the room breathing/moving. I have an open mouthed smile from ear to ear. I decide to lay back on my bed, and get slight CEVs. This continues for what felt like 5 minutes, and then I re-loaded my machine. With a better idea of what to expect when using the machine, I’m able to take three long, deep hits. This time the rush and subsequent buzz is even stronger than before. The two small fans running in my room become noticeably all I hear, and their sounds harmonize and appear to loop for the rest of the experience. At the same time of noticing the fans, the body buzz becomes so strong that I am unable to move from my slouched, seated position on my bed. The carpet at my feet appears to pulsate non-geometric (curved and unique, for lack of better words…almost like a petri dish of bacteria under a microscope) shapes. I notice myself finally laying back onto my bed and close my eyes. At this point the light was getting too bright so I tuck my face into my arm. The CEVs I see at this point are indescribably complex and fluid…what I can say though is that they were mainly purple and black, and looked to be three dimensional space. After a few minutes of this I get up and turn off the lights, laying back down in darkness. Visuals and buzz begin to subside, and I notice how detached my mind and thoughts feel from my physical body.

Thoughts:
First of all, WOW. I write this report with a profound respect for DMT, it’s still puzzling me how it can act so quickly and so powerfully. It's been no more than 30 minutes after my experience, so I apologize for the disorganization and poor grammar of my writing. Hopefully with some more experience I’ll be better able to describe what I actually feel is going on. I’m definitely happy with my first experience, but it is raising far more questions than it has answered. I think I came very close to breaking though this first time. I could be way off though - considering I need to improve my technique with the machine - but it felt extremely strong nonetheless. By strong I mean rapid and intense visuals and body high…at no time did I feel any fear or anxiety.

Implications:
As of now, I find myself questioning whether or not I really want to experience full ego death. As stated in my introduction essay, I came to DMT and the nexus looking for ego death. I generally like who I am as a person - I know there are some things I really need to work on (especially when it comes to relationships) - but I don’t think I want to start from scratch rebuilding the entire sense of self that has been built up for decades now. If ego death wipes the slate completely clean, I don’t think I am ready for it. But if ego death can be a more focused tool, allowing me to target with some preemptive focus the areas of my life I’d like to examine and re-develop, then I’m definitely ready. Perhaps the very areas of myself that I don’t want wiped clean are the areas causing the problems? Any insights are greatly appreciated. I’m very happy this first experience is making me question my intentions. I’d also like to add that despite my low post count and very recent membership on the nexus, I really do feel at home here and comfortable sharing my experiences with you all. I’m definitely thankful to have this space and community to discuss these matters.

Peace

 

[TGO]

Hey logistics, how's it going?

Thank you for your report, first of all! It seems like you were definitely able to get your "feet wet" a bit! DMT is very powerful and mysterious...with that being said, don't be afraid to take your time with this molecule. You have a whole lifetime to dissolve your ego and "start from scratch" if that is what you ultimately decide to do. Ego death isn't a necessity but please be aware that with DMT, it can happen very easily and suddenly.

Also, you may already know this, but ACRB goo contains NMT and other actives. It is believed that the NMT percentage can be up to 50% NMT or even mostly NMT. This isn't bad, in fact, some people prefer this combination of DMT and NMT. It makes for a gentler trip in my experience. The reason I am bringing this up is because while you smoalked 25mg of the goo this time and had pleasant effects, the next time you load up 25mg, the trip could be incredibly different...anywhere from completely overwhelming to a bit underwhelming... I know this from some pretty extensive work with ACRB goo! :d

But anywho, I am wishing you the best in any and all of your future endeavors!

Have a nice day!

-The Grateful One-

 

[DreaMTee]

hey logistics welcome

you made a really good description about youre trip, you choose the same setting as me, just in bed with ultra loud music in my room where I feel home.

the thing about ego-death is really hard for me too, I had like 20-25 trips right now, I get how things work and how to handle them. But all the time I am in a low-dose or subbreaktrhough thingy and the last thing scares me abit. When I used DMT the last time I had this lightning floating around in my 3dimensional headspace and that feeling that I go out of my body, after I came back I felt warm and somehow I thought I pie my self hahhaha

Just take it as it is, dont make questions, its unbelievable, how fast it comes, how fast it goes, how you get resembled back to normal world.

the best for me (my opinion) is before you start a trip listen to the music that chills you and lay just there with closed eyes, dont go in with a high heartrate, and when you chilled out say to yourself I must feel good, show me all the things you got for me and take me with the flow - works charm for me

wish you alot more good travels!

 

[3rdI]

ego death via DMT is probably not going to be a permanant thing, ime its not like the flashing machine in men in black, "you" will be back after 10 minutes.

DMT isnt going to be the thing that changes you, it will be your actions in concensus reality after the experience that change you, DMT just has the potential to be a catalyst for this change. I see alot of people who think/hope DMT is a magic cloud of vapor that will solve all their problems, imo if this is what people think they are in for disappointment.

It is also very possible to have an ego death experience on DMT and then come back to your body, and yourself, and just go about your day without any real change what so ever, it can just provide an extremely novel experience.

 

[DreaMTee]

hey 3rdI

I share youre opinion, I also think DMT wont change you, its not like a magic pill you take.
It never changed me, I could even do it 2 hours before work and then simply work as I would do always.

I have no real reason to smoalk it, I just like the feeling, the buzz, and the euphoria it gives me, makes my life so worthful, make me know Im a good being, makes me less ego.

Youre so right with that it can just provide an extremely novel experience
thats how I see it, how I want it, and leave it.

For Newbies:
Dont think that DMT will improve youre dailyife issues. Read the FAQ it says "Have a good healthy dailylife" thats all I say! If you had a good day everything will be perfect.

 

[tseuq]

@logistics; Thank you for sharing your experience and realated thoughts.

I came to DMT and the nexus looking for ego death.

To me, N,N-DMT and other entheobotanics are like practices out of many others, irrespective of their possible strong impact and my personal appreciation for those plants and mushrooms (respectively alcaloids). They are not necessarily needed to experience ego death at all, beside of that I think everone experiences awake moments in their daily life routine but might not be aware of them. To me, the "state of ego death / awakeness" is being free of the need to stick to a created selfimage, like going beyond my own limitations which are a result of the believes about myself, the others and the world I live in.

Giving up my (adherence to a) imaginary self and a imaginary world I create and see myself in, implies being aware of myself in every moment, every now. It also implies to me, that there is no more looking away, no neglecting, no distracting, no forgetting. I am here as long as I am alive and I am fully selfdetermined and take repsonibility of all of my actions, my way is confronting, learning, integrating, I am humble to experience the full spectrum which life is offering me.

Like someone else wrote in a different thread, to me, doing high dose enthobotanics (really going for ego death) is like putting a gun against my head and pulling the trigger. When pulled, there is no way back, it is the feeling of giving up (the illusion) of being in control and this is when the magic starts to happen.

DMT isnt going to be the thing that changes you, it will be your actions in concensus reality after the experience that change you, DMT just has the potential to be a catalyst for this change.

I am the change I wanna see in the world, regardless.

love tseuq

 

[DeltaSpice]

Hi logistics, welcome.
I hope I never experience ego death although I'm easy with whatever happens.
Maybe its tougher on those with big ego's? I don't know.
DMT is an awe inspiring exotic mystery and so far it's the best, most interesting part of my life.
I will say it has defiantly changed my perspectives

 

[logistics]

First off, I'd like to apologize for only now getting to respond to all of your posts. Between work and wanting to integrate my experiences I put DMT and the nexus out of my mind's focus. Anyway, two days after my first experience and post I tried to breakthrough again (I was able to find some of the lost alkaloids from the extraction and yield about 150mg more goo), and I was basically "hypershoved". This time my experience was far more rushed. It was basically a spur of the moment thing, and in a short window of time in my day where I didn't have any responsibilities. Nonetheless, my poor preparation showed itself in the trip. I once again had what I feel was a sub-breakthrough dose, only this time the visuals were far more muted and most of my attention during the trip hovered around expecting a breakthrough. At one point while I was laying in my bed I thought to myself "Why did I do this? I have so many more important things to take care of today, this was a waste of time." Also, in the process of using my machine I reloaded the copper mesh two times. The second time I reloaded it and began hitting it, I heard a very loud and malicious thumping or banging noise that seemed to be coming from behind my back, on the wall of my room. At this point in the experience I did not feel that/i] under the influence, so even though I was startled I brushed it off as something happening outside my house. However, as I refocused on my machine and began to hit it, the banging resumed. And this time it was louder and lasted longer than before. At this point I started getting more nervous, so I put the machine down and went outside my house to see what was going on. I checked to see if there was anything that could've been bumping into the side of the house to no avail. Confused and still feeling the DMT, I decided to lie back down in my bed and wait until I was fully sober.

That banging sounded nothing like the auditory hallucinations I had during my first experience, and I have no reason to believe it was anything other than a coincidence. The thought did cross my mind that it was the result of an entity telling me not to continue what I was doing. Whatever it was, it happened at a very inopportune time.

Anyway, I learned just as much, if not more from this second trip as I did the first. I learned a valuable lesson in trip preparation and timing, as well as having a chance to evaluate some aspects of my life from a different perspective. I'm going to hold off doing anymore spice for the time being - I'll return to this incredible molecule once some of the changes I'm making to my life and thoughts start taking effect.

To everyone who responded, thank you all for your insights.

3rdI, looking back on both of my experiences so far, I think you're right about the sense of self prior to using DMT returning after the experience ends. It requires a conscious effort to make a change in response to any conscious revelation had while using DMT. I don't think the subconscious effects of using this substance, or any hallucinogen for that matter, should be discounted though. Every time someone has a trip, they inevitably are faced with the fragility and fluidity of human perception. This is a very important piece of knowledge to have - the distinction between conscious revelations/changes and the subtle, subconscious developments that come from the drastic change in perception brought on by psychedelics. I think this is where I was going with my first post...wondering where ego death brought on by DMT would fall on that spectrum. Perhaps it has both conscious and subconscious effects. This is all very thought-provoking, to say the least.