weirdoigo
Esteemed member
TL;DR:
a. has anyone been told any rules of how the realm works? guidelines? etiquette? postures, gestures, phrases, anything to do or not do?
b. does anyone know about the teaching/testing entities with the electric panel boards and yellow octagons and other symbols?
I'm writing here because you're the only people who could possibly understand, and I'm hoping to figure it out before I dare to go back (I hate to waste time -- life is so short, change is so slow, we need more people working on this--smarter people than me!...but most people are so busy and have so much to lose, so I get it that maybe most people aren't ready to explore this -- maybe I'm not, either, but I thought the signs were all good so far, until I fucked up today).
have you see the space that seems to be black backdrop with a blue light hexagonal grid structure, floor, walls, etc., very much video game graphics aesthetic (I can't imagine how people born 200 years ago could have spoken of this!)?
I've seen similar places a couple times, but until now all my trips have been very brief.
a couple times they've had an entity I didn't quite have time to look directly at in order to describe, just the movement and presence. they're in front of me with some kind of electric panel display thing in front of them, and it has something like a yellow octagon on it. I've seen these in about 4 trips, usually briefly before I'm transported to somewhere else, but this time it was very clearly some kind of lesson or obstacle in front of me that I'm supposed to know what to do with...and I didn't know what to do, or if it's wrong to ask for help or think about anything else for that matter...
Anyway...I clearly fucked up.
this time it was intense, it was very busy, very populated, and they were there, they were ready for me, they were clearly going to show me something (I've had other trips where I just go on these strange super slow conveyer belt cart rides through soothing pastel tone rooms, either pet or baby related in their iconography, and sometimes it frustrates me, because I'd love to see something 'meaningful' and to 'learn' something, to have 'contact' or 'communication' with them, but I don't know how to navigate or communicate, and I don't know if they're mocking me and my painfully pathetic intellect, like telling me they're not going to try to talk to me any more than you're going to try to have a chat with a dog, enjoy the rides here by all means, but don't think for a minute you're even close to ready to attend our classes).
This time I was lucky, I thought I was going to begin to learn something, and I saw them all clearly, vividly, and they were clearly there happy to face me and interact with me with whatever it was they had... and then... I don't exactly know, things started happening really fast, I lost my concentration, and suddenly something came up about the cat- they were mad. I don't even know for sure if they spoke, but I'm sure they said something about the cat and then it was a flurry of activity coming down on me and telling me no no no! very bad!
I guess you're supposed to trip alone, and usually I do, but this time I'd let my friends' cat who had been sleeping on my computer chair stay in the room with me, sitting on/by my legs. ...and either it was my meditative failure, being a poor student, lack of focus, lack of reverence, or interrupting, speaking instead of shutting up and watching carefully, or the fact that the cat was with me, but suddenly it spiraled into mayhem and I learned just what exactly you guys mean by the hyperslap.
they didn't harm me, they certainly could have. it was overwhelming, I even thought I shit myself or something for a minute there, but it was a very very clear message I'd done something wrong. I've never once seen intensity or hostility like that, it's always been calm and soothing and slow and inviting, even exciting and happy and playful. and all I ever say is thank you. I've never been more grateful in my life than to get the chance to see this absolutely insane beauty and mystery that somehow is the world's best kept secret (they're geniuses--for all that I saw in my lengthy harmala trip, they left no evidence, there was nothing I could grab onto and bring back in the way of new knowledge or messages or guidance that could prove any of this was more than a crazy dream .... but you lot alone know that the experience leaves no room for skepticism. (I spent a decade obsessed with philosophy and skepticism and science, years writing a book about atheism, how clearly rational it was and how clearly baseless and silly all things spiritual were. ... and I can't possibly defend that worldview now. there's no room for doubt, for thinking somehow all of that insanity and beauty is just me being a bit more imaginative than I've ever been before. but only because of how clearly I saw, heard, and felt it. Even if I was a CGI artist and I had a photographic memory and I spent a year reconstructing the whole event so I could show people what happened, how profoundly alien it is all is, I still think they would doubt it (as I would have before I'd tried a psychedelic and realized our minds are not so private and separate as we like to think). I love writing, but never in my life would I have thought to make up anything like the things they've let me see, I struggle to draw a pretty little doodle or to pick 2 or 3 colors that would go together well in a drawing--but I effortlessly see endless flawless beautiful colorful designs everywhere in their world, it's not something I'm capable of imagining on my own, the only things that come close to comparing are the psychedelic mosques and the Hindu temples). ... and clearly it would be no effort for them, if they wished to do so, to give me lotto numbers or solutions to millennium problems or to heal something our science can't, or any other miraculous intervention above and beyond anything I alone could do, proving their power and wisdom. For whatever reason, they don't interfere to reward or punish us in our world and let everyone know about them. it's so wild having the 'if god is real why does he let bad things happen to good people' question cease to be a hypothetical imperative. the freedom they've given us to make all our stupid choices, it's maddening! and yet they let a few of us see all of this, hear it, feel it, as lucid, sober, and clear and real as anything we've ever known. I really don't know what to make of it, but I thought it meant they were happy for me to visit, and maybe try to learn something.)
anyway, after the tussle, some kind of floating forces a bit like those Chinese dragons I guess, swept in and protected me and swept me away to somewhere calmer and just hovered above me in my room. I still couldn't see my room, I couldn't see the cat, but I could feel her pacing around on the bed a bit anxious from what had happened.
I've speculated that maybe things like telepathy or mutual trips may be possible. ya know, maybe you can hold hands with a trip sitter an travel to the same place together. maybe I shouldn't have let the cat stay in the room and if we'd been touching instead of just near she too would have gone to the realm and being a cat just freaked out (after all, some humans struggle to handle it, some people go psychotic forever, some people just get nausea or puke, so clearly it's not acceptable to bring an animal that can't consent, if that's something the technology can do -- it's not what I intended to do. ...she's 18, she lost her brother a few years ago and lost her sister this year, and so she's basically all alone now. I thought maybe it would influence where I ended up, maybe I'd see that her sister is ok, that it would be comforting or something. it was 4am, I'd let her out, let her into the other bedroom to check on her owner who she's been with her whole life, but it was cold in her room so she came straight back out to join me again. ... well, I'd taken the harmalas at 2am and now it was 4am (the capsules were predicted to delay onset by 20-40 minutes, so T+120 was what I considered the optimum inhibition window to begin). ... I didn't want to leave her out in the cold, but I didn't want to abort the mission, and I thought it would be fine. ... a previous trip after a bit of a hardcore venture a week or so earlier (10g wavy caps, 20mg 2C-B, some ket, and some NOS, over the course of 26 hours leading to me seeing floating energies that changed patterns with each balloon and at one point I swear I could see the silhouette of my hand backlit by the floating energy's light while my eyes were closed. that night ended with one last go with the DMT -- I don't seem to get the cliches, no preflight jitters, I don't get nausea, the spirals, the fractals, the tunnels, and none of the art I've seen or the cliches about jesters and elves are anything like what I've seen so far. For me it's amazingly calm and stable and beautiful (the very first few a few years ago were a bit too rapidly morphing, but that's since stoppe, and now I'm often just transported very rapidly into stable spaces/rooms with plenty of time to observe calmly. Anyway, I slipped out of bed, the cat curled up asleep next to me undisturbed, and came back to bed carefully with the stuff. I vaped it and suddenly half my room (OEV) was like a scene from a SIMs video game (always fascinates me because I haven't played any video game in about 24 years--my brain has no reason to generate dream imagery from pop media cliches like that, this is simply the only way I can describe the aesthetic). it was like a pet hospital. so I closed my eyes an the CEV was the whole room. white, softly warm but brightly lit, white surfaces, soft rounded edges like hospital beds, and I'm sitting up in my bed, now I'm in a little tray on a slow conveyer lifting me up and up and up, a little panel with pastel colors and widgets is doing something. it leads me around to the left and down again and into a little cubby kennel type place. -- I wish I'd looked down to see if the cat was with me. I laughed, because I thought it was just god's sense of humor, saying 'you've had a big adventure tonight little one, time for you to snuggle up for bed!' ... but now I think it was for the cat, like a message to leave the cat here before I go further into hyperspace.
So, this time around, having the cat with me, I guess I fucked up somehow. the harmalas obviously intensify things a bit, and I also went for something more like a 30mg dose, more than what I usually do in one hit, but it was one hit nonetheless. --- maybe I blasted straight through the drop-off zone and went too far too fast with unauthorized passengers, as it were.
all I know is never to do that again.
and to shut up and watch next time. (I thought maybe I could ask some kind of hows and whats about what we were about to do, to help me learn better... some people talk about being talked to, but others talk about symbolic messages... and they've shown me things before and I just can't make any sense of them, I feel like I'm wasting their time, failing their test, and if only I understood better how to participate in their test or game or whatever it is that I could do better. I don't even know if I'm supposed to sit still or move or react or what. do you bow, do you point, do you speak? was it rude that I spoke? was it rude that I lost concentration? would it have been rude to point? ya know what I mean?
one time I blasted off and it was like my consciousness went out my head on a beam of light and like a rocket had crashed through the floor of their casino/gameshow arcade--but they were thrilled! DING DING DING! you won! yes! well done! and I got excited, and they then showed me some things I couldn't understand, and I had some plicky plocky experience of being as if I was a mosaic made of pixels and they could reach in and move pieces around--I felt one in my mouth, a sensation I've never felt on earth... this happened in a place with the same aesthetic, the same game zone and entities who run it as today's one, but this time I really disappointed them.
does anyone know the code of conduct? the etiquette? that's my main reason for joining this forum (I've been active on reddit, but no help there on this matter). I've keyword searched but not yet found anything.
anyway, the harmala aspect went well. 2.5g powdered in capsules (poss. 100-150mg active alkaloids). no nausea. I'd previously tested a little extract (seeing it glow to confirm activity) but as I didn't know the quantity of seeds I'd used for it, and I hadn't separated out the misc matter among my seeds, I couldn't estimate the dose, so it was really just a tolerance/allergy type test before trying an active dose. Since I never get discomfort or disorientation with high dose mushrooms or with DMT I took it as a good sign and I just went full send 2.5g at once. (I used to get a lot of body load with LSD and MDMA, but even those have settled in recent years).
The result after 20-30mg vaped at T+120 was the most intense trip I've had--again, no tunnels or waiting rooms, just a short moment of the mind's eye opening, the blackness turning into polygons of light, and quickly going through them into one of the realms, then pretty quickly the chaos happened...whichever mistake I made to incite it, then the flying ones whisked me away and I spent about 35 minutes just apologizing and trying to explain I meant no disrespect or harm. they didn't have faces or cliche body types, but they were clearly sentient somethings. the OEVs lingered for about another hour. this in contrast to my normal 5-minutes-top encounters.
a. has anyone been told any rules of how the realm works? guidelines? etiquette? postures, gestures, phrases, anything to do or not do?
b. does anyone know about the teaching/testing entities with the electric panel boards and yellow octagons and other symbols?
I'm writing here because you're the only people who could possibly understand, and I'm hoping to figure it out before I dare to go back (I hate to waste time -- life is so short, change is so slow, we need more people working on this--smarter people than me!...but most people are so busy and have so much to lose, so I get it that maybe most people aren't ready to explore this -- maybe I'm not, either, but I thought the signs were all good so far, until I fucked up today).
have you see the space that seems to be black backdrop with a blue light hexagonal grid structure, floor, walls, etc., very much video game graphics aesthetic (I can't imagine how people born 200 years ago could have spoken of this!)?
I've seen similar places a couple times, but until now all my trips have been very brief.
a couple times they've had an entity I didn't quite have time to look directly at in order to describe, just the movement and presence. they're in front of me with some kind of electric panel display thing in front of them, and it has something like a yellow octagon on it. I've seen these in about 4 trips, usually briefly before I'm transported to somewhere else, but this time it was very clearly some kind of lesson or obstacle in front of me that I'm supposed to know what to do with...and I didn't know what to do, or if it's wrong to ask for help or think about anything else for that matter...
Anyway...I clearly fucked up.
this time it was intense, it was very busy, very populated, and they were there, they were ready for me, they were clearly going to show me something (I've had other trips where I just go on these strange super slow conveyer belt cart rides through soothing pastel tone rooms, either pet or baby related in their iconography, and sometimes it frustrates me, because I'd love to see something 'meaningful' and to 'learn' something, to have 'contact' or 'communication' with them, but I don't know how to navigate or communicate, and I don't know if they're mocking me and my painfully pathetic intellect, like telling me they're not going to try to talk to me any more than you're going to try to have a chat with a dog, enjoy the rides here by all means, but don't think for a minute you're even close to ready to attend our classes).
This time I was lucky, I thought I was going to begin to learn something, and I saw them all clearly, vividly, and they were clearly there happy to face me and interact with me with whatever it was they had... and then... I don't exactly know, things started happening really fast, I lost my concentration, and suddenly something came up about the cat- they were mad. I don't even know for sure if they spoke, but I'm sure they said something about the cat and then it was a flurry of activity coming down on me and telling me no no no! very bad!
I guess you're supposed to trip alone, and usually I do, but this time I'd let my friends' cat who had been sleeping on my computer chair stay in the room with me, sitting on/by my legs. ...and either it was my meditative failure, being a poor student, lack of focus, lack of reverence, or interrupting, speaking instead of shutting up and watching carefully, or the fact that the cat was with me, but suddenly it spiraled into mayhem and I learned just what exactly you guys mean by the hyperslap.
they didn't harm me, they certainly could have. it was overwhelming, I even thought I shit myself or something for a minute there, but it was a very very clear message I'd done something wrong. I've never once seen intensity or hostility like that, it's always been calm and soothing and slow and inviting, even exciting and happy and playful. and all I ever say is thank you. I've never been more grateful in my life than to get the chance to see this absolutely insane beauty and mystery that somehow is the world's best kept secret (they're geniuses--for all that I saw in my lengthy harmala trip, they left no evidence, there was nothing I could grab onto and bring back in the way of new knowledge or messages or guidance that could prove any of this was more than a crazy dream .... but you lot alone know that the experience leaves no room for skepticism. (I spent a decade obsessed with philosophy and skepticism and science, years writing a book about atheism, how clearly rational it was and how clearly baseless and silly all things spiritual were. ... and I can't possibly defend that worldview now. there's no room for doubt, for thinking somehow all of that insanity and beauty is just me being a bit more imaginative than I've ever been before. but only because of how clearly I saw, heard, and felt it. Even if I was a CGI artist and I had a photographic memory and I spent a year reconstructing the whole event so I could show people what happened, how profoundly alien it is all is, I still think they would doubt it (as I would have before I'd tried a psychedelic and realized our minds are not so private and separate as we like to think). I love writing, but never in my life would I have thought to make up anything like the things they've let me see, I struggle to draw a pretty little doodle or to pick 2 or 3 colors that would go together well in a drawing--but I effortlessly see endless flawless beautiful colorful designs everywhere in their world, it's not something I'm capable of imagining on my own, the only things that come close to comparing are the psychedelic mosques and the Hindu temples). ... and clearly it would be no effort for them, if they wished to do so, to give me lotto numbers or solutions to millennium problems or to heal something our science can't, or any other miraculous intervention above and beyond anything I alone could do, proving their power and wisdom. For whatever reason, they don't interfere to reward or punish us in our world and let everyone know about them. it's so wild having the 'if god is real why does he let bad things happen to good people' question cease to be a hypothetical imperative. the freedom they've given us to make all our stupid choices, it's maddening! and yet they let a few of us see all of this, hear it, feel it, as lucid, sober, and clear and real as anything we've ever known. I really don't know what to make of it, but I thought it meant they were happy for me to visit, and maybe try to learn something.)
anyway, after the tussle, some kind of floating forces a bit like those Chinese dragons I guess, swept in and protected me and swept me away to somewhere calmer and just hovered above me in my room. I still couldn't see my room, I couldn't see the cat, but I could feel her pacing around on the bed a bit anxious from what had happened.
I've speculated that maybe things like telepathy or mutual trips may be possible. ya know, maybe you can hold hands with a trip sitter an travel to the same place together. maybe I shouldn't have let the cat stay in the room and if we'd been touching instead of just near she too would have gone to the realm and being a cat just freaked out (after all, some humans struggle to handle it, some people go psychotic forever, some people just get nausea or puke, so clearly it's not acceptable to bring an animal that can't consent, if that's something the technology can do -- it's not what I intended to do. ...she's 18, she lost her brother a few years ago and lost her sister this year, and so she's basically all alone now. I thought maybe it would influence where I ended up, maybe I'd see that her sister is ok, that it would be comforting or something. it was 4am, I'd let her out, let her into the other bedroom to check on her owner who she's been with her whole life, but it was cold in her room so she came straight back out to join me again. ... well, I'd taken the harmalas at 2am and now it was 4am (the capsules were predicted to delay onset by 20-40 minutes, so T+120 was what I considered the optimum inhibition window to begin). ... I didn't want to leave her out in the cold, but I didn't want to abort the mission, and I thought it would be fine. ... a previous trip after a bit of a hardcore venture a week or so earlier (10g wavy caps, 20mg 2C-B, some ket, and some NOS, over the course of 26 hours leading to me seeing floating energies that changed patterns with each balloon and at one point I swear I could see the silhouette of my hand backlit by the floating energy's light while my eyes were closed. that night ended with one last go with the DMT -- I don't seem to get the cliches, no preflight jitters, I don't get nausea, the spirals, the fractals, the tunnels, and none of the art I've seen or the cliches about jesters and elves are anything like what I've seen so far. For me it's amazingly calm and stable and beautiful (the very first few a few years ago were a bit too rapidly morphing, but that's since stoppe, and now I'm often just transported very rapidly into stable spaces/rooms with plenty of time to observe calmly. Anyway, I slipped out of bed, the cat curled up asleep next to me undisturbed, and came back to bed carefully with the stuff. I vaped it and suddenly half my room (OEV) was like a scene from a SIMs video game (always fascinates me because I haven't played any video game in about 24 years--my brain has no reason to generate dream imagery from pop media cliches like that, this is simply the only way I can describe the aesthetic). it was like a pet hospital. so I closed my eyes an the CEV was the whole room. white, softly warm but brightly lit, white surfaces, soft rounded edges like hospital beds, and I'm sitting up in my bed, now I'm in a little tray on a slow conveyer lifting me up and up and up, a little panel with pastel colors and widgets is doing something. it leads me around to the left and down again and into a little cubby kennel type place. -- I wish I'd looked down to see if the cat was with me. I laughed, because I thought it was just god's sense of humor, saying 'you've had a big adventure tonight little one, time for you to snuggle up for bed!' ... but now I think it was for the cat, like a message to leave the cat here before I go further into hyperspace.
So, this time around, having the cat with me, I guess I fucked up somehow. the harmalas obviously intensify things a bit, and I also went for something more like a 30mg dose, more than what I usually do in one hit, but it was one hit nonetheless. --- maybe I blasted straight through the drop-off zone and went too far too fast with unauthorized passengers, as it were.
all I know is never to do that again.
and to shut up and watch next time. (I thought maybe I could ask some kind of hows and whats about what we were about to do, to help me learn better... some people talk about being talked to, but others talk about symbolic messages... and they've shown me things before and I just can't make any sense of them, I feel like I'm wasting their time, failing their test, and if only I understood better how to participate in their test or game or whatever it is that I could do better. I don't even know if I'm supposed to sit still or move or react or what. do you bow, do you point, do you speak? was it rude that I spoke? was it rude that I lost concentration? would it have been rude to point? ya know what I mean?
one time I blasted off and it was like my consciousness went out my head on a beam of light and like a rocket had crashed through the floor of their casino/gameshow arcade--but they were thrilled! DING DING DING! you won! yes! well done! and I got excited, and they then showed me some things I couldn't understand, and I had some plicky plocky experience of being as if I was a mosaic made of pixels and they could reach in and move pieces around--I felt one in my mouth, a sensation I've never felt on earth... this happened in a place with the same aesthetic, the same game zone and entities who run it as today's one, but this time I really disappointed them.
does anyone know the code of conduct? the etiquette? that's my main reason for joining this forum (I've been active on reddit, but no help there on this matter). I've keyword searched but not yet found anything.
anyway, the harmala aspect went well. 2.5g powdered in capsules (poss. 100-150mg active alkaloids). no nausea. I'd previously tested a little extract (seeing it glow to confirm activity) but as I didn't know the quantity of seeds I'd used for it, and I hadn't separated out the misc matter among my seeds, I couldn't estimate the dose, so it was really just a tolerance/allergy type test before trying an active dose. Since I never get discomfort or disorientation with high dose mushrooms or with DMT I took it as a good sign and I just went full send 2.5g at once. (I used to get a lot of body load with LSD and MDMA, but even those have settled in recent years).
The result after 20-30mg vaped at T+120 was the most intense trip I've had--again, no tunnels or waiting rooms, just a short moment of the mind's eye opening, the blackness turning into polygons of light, and quickly going through them into one of the realms, then pretty quickly the chaos happened...whichever mistake I made to incite it, then the flying ones whisked me away and I spent about 35 minutes just apologizing and trying to explain I meant no disrespect or harm. they didn't have faces or cliche body types, but they were clearly sentient somethings. the OEVs lingered for about another hour. this in contrast to my normal 5-minutes-top encounters.
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