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Returning from reality's assembly point

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Leto

Rising Star
Hi

would anyone care to share their methods of living in their
consensus reality after DMT?

at first I felt euphoric to find out we were all part of an eternal energy force.
i returned and felt re-born, glad to be home and around loved ones.
Parts of my brain had been newly activated, i could feel my brain vibrating against my skull!

as the experience sinks in,
the feeling that "this life" as I had previously thought, it is a mirage, a simulation of sorts,
is proving troublesome.

i'm still the being i was, but a separation has occurred.
to me, my ego is a biological machine, reacting to the outside world.
i still get happy or sad or horny or irritated or have a sugar rush from cookies, and laugh at jokes.
i recognize my face and my world entirely,
but my soul is watching all this, and honestly feeling misplaced.

i am a 29 year old man,
i am in a steady relationship, with a 2 year old daughter.
i am busily self employed ,there's a lot of love in our house.

4 days after DMT i feel lost for words.
i mean what the £@$% is going on!?
i've been told something so shocking, i can't even grasp it.
i think that's why you only go there when you die,
so you are re-born with a clear slate, as a baby with no previous interference,.
and re build your ego from scratch.

i tried to talk to my girlfriend about it, but she hasn't been there, so although she is being nice and listening .. she can't really grasp it. i think she might be a bit worried about me now!

sadly i don't know anyone who else who has been there,
so i'm gonna post these thoughts here just to get them off my chest and in the hopes of reaching out to someone.

i'm temped to go back in, to get some answers,
but I'm worried about coming back even more alarmed than i am now!





i am the worker ant that had Wikipedia injected into its brain.

thanks for reading this mind dribble
i feel better already

peace! :)
 
SWIM's been feeling like this for a long time, even before smoking DMT. He's made peace with himself by accepting his human body and it's needs. It's easy to get caught up in expanding the mind and soul when the body still needs attention. He knows nothing of god or the universe, but he knows you need a stable mind and body to live in this world!
 
Hi Leto, let me say, I'm there with you, buddy.

Read some of my posts... I have found it hard to integrate some of my experiences. I mean, you do it. But only because the real world does come back. There is no arguing with it. Much like there is no arguing with the trip itself. The Taoist master Chuang Tzu once told his disciples, "last night I had a dream I was a butterfly; I saw as a butterfly, I flew as a butterfly, I thought as a butterfly. Only after I awoke did I realize that I was once again Chuang Tzu. The only problem is... now I don't know whether I am a man dreaming I'm a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming I'm a man."

It does seem though like each time I hit the spice, it becomes clearer and clearer that this world makes very little sense. Or I should say, absolutely no. Without all the ego-conditionings, and cultural reality tunnels, your daily activities, if you can even think of them in the spice-state appear like the automatic dance of a worker ant.

I would say though that since you have a partner and child, you should feel blessed. I have come to the conclusion that although we may really be one universal intelligence, the best way to experience "divine" love in this realm is through your fellow humans. Your partner and your child are both manifestations of divine love in this human plane. Be grateful for what you have, and make sure that you show them you understand what they represent!
 
Leto

Your journey with spice has just begun, I was in complete awe of my first journey with spice and i almost couldn't believe the extent of the depth of my experience. Spice experiences always give you exactly the experience that you need at the time.

Everything happens for a reason in life and i think that maybe give yourself some time to reflect and contemplate about what you have experienced. The spice journey is a beautiful one but its never easy to open your eyes to the true nature of your reality and your existence. Thank you for being so candid and honest in your post. I wish you all the best on your journey.



Much Peace and Understanding
 
Leto, I would like to share this with you. I just recently wrote this in a personal blog. I think it speaks to much of what you are feeling right now. I hope you can find something in it that speaks to you:

"First let me say that when you are made one with everything, or at least, a lot more than you're usually used to Be-ing, it can be a very disconcerting experience. Especially as your smaller mind somewhere back down on "Earth" is trying to make sense of its existence in the context of the ineffable. Then there's that point where you realize you have a body again, and you're like, huh what, who am I? I was God for a moment, I was all-that-is, I was each and every dimension of this room... now I have a body, now my consciousness is localized at one point in time and space? This is disconcerting, because now I re assume my role as "Aleph" (itself a moniker fiction creation of another entity), when this assumption that I am a separate in-stance of being becomes an increasingly harder concept to lend credence to.

You realize that things only make sense HERE. On that other side, you have no programming, you have no personal history, you have no culturally-conditioned reality tunnel, you just ARE. And when you try to think of who you supposedly are, or that identity-activity structure you have identified with yourself, all your hustling and bustling has about as much meaning as the automatic, instinctual meanderings of that lonely ant on your kitchen counter.

Things on the "other" side don't make sense either, because there we cannot construct our fortresses of rationality and meaning to shield ourselves from the unknown. That realm is liquid meaning, flowing and changing constantly. There is no past, there is no future. There are no referents.

As the Greek Philosopher Heraclitus said, "You cannot step into the same river twice." ...it's not the same river, and you're not the same man.

In fact, I can tell you with almost 100% certainty that Heraclitus tripped his balls off. I will actually let him speak for me, since he hits a lot of nails right on the head:

'Things come out of the One and the One out of all things. ... I see nothing but Becoming. Be not deceived! It is the fault of your limited outlook and not the fault of the essence of things if you believe that you see firm land anywhere in the ocean of Becoming and Passing. You need names for things, just as if they had a rigid permanence, but the very river in which you bathe a second time is no longer the same one which you entered before.'

'He who hears not me but the Logos will say: All is one.'

'As a single, unified thing there exists in us both life and death, waking and sleeping, youth and old age, because the former things having changed are now the latter, and when those latter things change, they become the former.'

'To do the same thing over and over is not only boredom; it is to be controlled by rather than to control what you do.'

'To God all things are beautiful, good, and right; human beings, on the other hand, deem some things right and others wrong.'

'Eternity is a child playing, playing checkers; the kingdom belongs to a child.'

'There is nothing permanent except change.'

'Of the Logos which is as I describe it men always prove to be uncomprehending, both before they have heard it and when once they have heard it. For although all things happen according to this Logos, men are like people of no experience, even when they experience such words and deeds as I explain, when I distinguish each thing according to its constitution and declare how it is; but the rest of the men fail to notice what they do after they wake up just as they forget what they do when asleep.'

To clarify, the Logos is the principle of the organization of the all things in flux. The same Logos common to all human beings gives order to the cosmos. Although all things insofar as they are in flux are impermanent, the intelligence pervading all things, according to which all things change, is eternal."


...And a final word. Leto, you, and all of us here in the Nexus, have been given the chance, through spice, to experience states which have up till now been normally reserved for enlightened masters who have devoted their lives to spiritual study and practice. First of all, be grateful for that. You may now find that you have somewhat of a responsibility, if you choose to accept it, to make your world a better place, and to improve yours, and the lives of those you come into contact with on a daily basis. Truly, what other goals are worthy in this human manifestation?
 
Thank you all for your kind words,
i've really been feeling soo much better since reading your responses,
they have really helped me slip back into my life,
I now see the world with so much more respect and appreciation, the fact that we all exist here now,..
whatever, where-ever we are there are no words to describe how precious it is.
how lucky we are to be alive and well!!!!!!!!
i cannot believe how blind i've been to the majesty of it all, it's infinitely impossibly miraculous!

peace and love to you all , forever! xx
 
Leto said:
Thank you all for your kind words,
i've really been feeling soo much better since reading your responses,
they have really helped me slip back into my life,
I now see the world with so much more respect and appreciation, the fact that we all exist here now,..
whatever, where-ever we are there are no words to describe how precious it is.
how lucky we are to be alive and well!!!!!!!!
i cannot believe how blind i've been to the majesty of it all, it's infinitely impossibly miraculous!

peace and love to you all , forever! xx
Click to expand...

You seem to be a great candidate for the spice realm.Take Terrence Mckennas advice and let your nets out into the sea of mind and get some medium sized fish for the world.Spice is a gift that finds you...I don't know how, but it seeks us out.
Keep your family close, cause when it comes down to it..they are all you REALLY have.
 
Q: "What is Objective Reality?"
A: "Objective Reality is that there is only Subjective Reality."
Click to expand...

This helped me a lot when I got into this trouble of "this" vs. "that".
 
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