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Riding the fear

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TrustLoveMan

TrustLoveMan

Rising Star
I was just watching a show and they summed up what I learned from my past few sessions.
"Being scared lets you know you're on to something important"
"If you're not scared, you're not taking a chance, and if you're not taking a change, what the hell are you doing?"

I have been video and sound recording my trips so I can pinpoint my smoking technique. I now have recorded times and video of each dose. In the beginning, I was more apprehensive and and my heart was beating hard. I seemed to have shorter more intense trips.
When I started get used to the dose and technique I was quite comfortable in my 35-40mg dose range. My heard rate wouldn't beat as hard and I felt almost better about it. But, It seems this gives me my usual chrysanthemum and brain soup trip. I would also have OEV's effects present long after CEV's were gone.

Something about the apprehension is good in my trips. It's like when you're going up a tall roller coaster. You are very excited but you're body is rushing adrenaline. Maybe because I like roller coasters and sky diving (adrenaline junkie), I enjoy a more intensified experience. Just wondering what you guys thought of this.
 
"Being scared lets you know you're on to something important"
"If you're not scared, you're not taking a chance, and if you're not taking a chance, what the hell are you doing?"

great quote
 
Felnik said:
"Being scared lets you know you're on to something important"
"If you're not scared, you're not taking a chance, and if you're not taking a chance, what the hell are you doing?"

great quote
Click to expand...

being on to something important could also mean death. death is something important.

dmt is like a death simulator - that's why we get an adrenaline rush before each trip!

just to think! at any moment i can go "sky diving" in my closet.

the fear helps keep me from smoking it every day, which is good for my lungs. i think my lungs are asking my heart to be afraid so they can take a break LOL
 
I also think it is a death simulator because I died and melted into the universe once. I sort of think that's what happens to your soul when you die.
 
"just to think! at any moment i can go "sky diving" in my closet." lmao

Its rare for there to not be some little part of me thats screaming- "wtf are you doing!!! aaahhh NOOOO stop it!!!" as I'm about to imbibe in psychedelia, but overcoming the fear is worth it every time.

I think the worst way to go about dealing with it is by resistance. What you resist will persist- especially in the case of fear. Its better to just let go of it. Fighting it off can result in my mind becoming too cluttered and discombobulated. I think working with it through the conscious act of calm acceptance you can transform that fear into love
 
TrustLoveMan said:
I also think it is a death simulator because I died and melted into the universe once. I sort of think that's what happens to your soul when you die.
Click to expand...

I would also like to think thats what happens to your soul when you die- your fragmented into a universal consciousness & your energy helps create new life- you become at one with the universe. I'm hoping my explorations with DMT & other psychoactives helps me reach a firm belief in something greater than myself again. I miss having a certainty of what will happen to me after death.

& On topic I always get some sort of adrenaline rush- last time I smoked I was so excited that I was physically shaking like a lil leaf. Though the level of apprehension varies- if I spend more time working on breathing techniques before lighting up I find I'm a little more calm =)
 
I definitely share the rollercoaster-syndrome. :)

"AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"...oh man, that was SO COOL, let's go again!" :p
 
Heh I am the same way. I actively seek out the things I am afraid of and go do them. For example I am afraid of heights so I like rock climbing and roller coasters. It's always scary at the top of a 300ft coaster but once the ride is over I want to get right back on. I also strangely enjoy nightmares..... but I've been told this is nothing like dmt and won't prepare me... I kinda wish he just lied to me and said that was a good thing.
 
Even when absolute panic violates your trust, it is good to return. I mellowed out with a loving dose of Caapi-only tea (after being recently shaken up by some pretty heavy psychological release), and any fear I had of anything is buried... composted... put to rest and feeding the flowers.
 
I think it may not be fear so much as the body knowing ahead of time the experiences that are on the horizon...I think it is almost necessary to feel apprehension, I believe it is the body's energies and neurotransmitters gearing up for releasing of the soul...What we're doing is much more than taking psychadelics, we're literally traveling in spirit...Usually the only time this happens is under extreme physical trauma...I'd take a small dose of fear anyday over getting hit by a car, etc...
 
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