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Scared to Break through

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yungexplorer

Rising Star
Hey,

I'm an 18 year old man who has been on a somewhat spiritual journey for the past 12 months. I have experience with LSD, 2cb (once) and now: DMT (changa) twice.


I have wanted to get my hands on some DMT for a long time. The first time smoking the changa mixture, i was so to say not prepared for what was coming.
I put the glass pipe to my mouth, light the Dmt, and start inhaling the smoke, slowly ... It wasn't much DMT, maybe around 10-20 mg for my first time. Approximately 10 seconds after i had inhaled, things started to ... pulse? everything around me changed, almost as if the world was being sucked in towards me, and out. Everything changed. I held the smoke in my lungs for 15 seconds ish, and by the time i exhaled, i had already dropped the glass pipe. I said to myself;:
Fuck.

I was overwhelmed. I layed down and closed my eyes, and started to apologize for underestimating the substance, and wanting it to end. I knew it was powerful ... but NOTHING can prepare you for this. You need expereince to be prepared. I closed my eyes and tried to remain positive, and not think. But i kept wishing for it to end.

Today i smoked again, 2 day after my first time. I felt somewhat more ready. But as i took the first hit, 10 seconds after i had inhaled, i said to myself: This is it. I'm not gonna take another hit and just wait it out.

So guys, i feel like i am afraid of taking another hit ... the effects are so strong, i get so anxious and terrified. I get visions of myself screaming my lungs out because i want it to stop. I dont want that to happen. Therefore im afraid of the next hit. To make the experience even MORE powerful and overwhelming.


So here is where i realized i have a problem, and i would like to recieve some tips/help with this issue. I want a breakthrough. My intention is to see ANOTHER dimension, to leave this realm and enter another. I want to experience it.
 
Yes, nothing can prepare, fact.

Suggestion to make friends with fear, at least in this safe and non dangerous format to visit it. Look it in the eye, like a warrior. Again: you know you're safe. (set and setting is optimal!)


A bigger dose can push you over many hurdles on the launch, in that regard making it easier, but the experience itself will be deeper.

Just trust your intuition if you want to dose higher. Never mind too much about that bouncing hearth and sweaty hands, it's all just effects. Not particularly comfortable ones but still the frame and not the picture inside that frame.

You've come to a place where people exactly know what you mean :love:

There are alternatives to vaping, you know 😉
 
yungexplorer said:
I want a breakthrough. My intention is to see ANOTHER dimension, to leave this realm and enter another. I want to experience it.
Click to expand...

Concentrate on this! ^^ You will go when this becomes more important than your fears.

Sub-threshold experiences can feel uncomfortable. Pushed just a little farther into a breakthrough and it all seems to melt away into the stream. Just take your time and go when you are feeling strong. Trust yourself and the experience!

Everything will be ok.... breathe...relax.. let go! Smoalk moar!

There are many threads about fear on the nexus. You are not alone in this.


Good luck!
 
yungexplorer said:
I was overwhelmed. I layed down and closed my eyes, and started to apologize for underestimating the substance, and wanting it to end. I knew it was powerful ... but NOTHING can prepare you for this. You need expereince to be prepared. I closed my eyes and tried to remain positive, and not think. But i kept wishing for it to end.
Click to expand...

Yeah, it can be really powerful.. Always new levels with it. Haven't really found much of a bottom or an end of any kind. The experience can be impossibly deep in terms of the actual experience as its going on. And the overall feeling of it as its happening is beyond words. The entirety of it is beyond describing

I'm sure you'll find your limit though with it. You'll know when you'd seen enough :d

yungexplorer said:
So guys, i feel like i am afraid of taking another hit ... the effects are so strong
Click to expand...

Yeah, its good that its strong :twisted:

If you can take another hit - I'd say take it (if you're capable of doing so).

Slow steps with it can be good though. Always time to push further. Didn't want to imply to rush headfirst into anything. You always have time.

The experience demands alot of respect once you're past a certain depth of it imo..

Hope it all works out for you. :)
 
Hey bro.

I know the feeling very very well and I have overcome it :)

Just to say the first time I ever tried changa it was massively overwhelming. Like felt like my soul was being ripped out by the top of my head. I had my partner sitting with me but having her there gave me reason to open my eyes. Anywho after that experience it took me about a week to do it again as that was seriously intense.

I feel I have no conquered that worry the more I did it. Okay, after a few tokes you get to see the colours, patterns etc and that's where most stop. You need another hit to get there even though you feel you are good. Also do not have fear at all. I've seen jesters, god, strangers sitting in a hosp waiting room and i've not been scared. You need to know in yourself there is no reason to be scared. If you ever do have something scary come out just tell that fear to bring it on. That is my way of breaking the fear.

I hope this has helped in some way and if you ever in need give me a shout bro :)
 
You'll never totally rid yourself of pre-flight anxiety. For me, I get anxious, my hands get sweaty while my body feels cold. It's a healthy respect. But there are two ways to become more comfortable.

One is to do maybe 20mg 15-20 mins before the larger dose. A way of easing into it and prepping yourself. Two is to just accept the committed dose. This requires more spirituality imo. However like others mentioned above, it really does seem to help you clear many obstacles. Once you break through for the first time, you'll see how different it really is and how much more comfortable you are. Focus on the reason you want to break through and just go for it. It's a warrior mentality that you must possess. Setting is everything. Dark room with low light. The less noise, the better. Ear plugs are good, but seem to really heighten the experience for me. Practice slow, deep breathing for mayne 3-5 mins prior.

Just remember, the shuttle launch is most intense after blastoff. It's the arrival into space that is the goal and the most rewarding part of the journey.
 
I find comfort in the thought that the whole pre flight scared sh*tless circus has inherently nothing to do with the actual spice experience. That sounds weird but that circus is top power when there is nothing smoked yet. And the more there is smoked less of it stands.

I think it's a primal first line response to an unknown potential threat, be it dangerous for the "persona" on the throne, all part of self preservation BIOS of which some settings carry a rather high ranked priority.

I walked in a rough English nature landscape with free roaming wild horses, like they were imported from Robin Hood. Nothing could have been calmer until a birds nest was facilitated on ground level, a mere 10 meters off my track path. How could I know? If it birdz was keep sitting calm, I've would have never known. This paragraph was never written.

Yet birdz BIOS settings turned it into a banter, KWAA KWAA loud as panicking hell broke loose and flappered wildly screeming hard flip flopping like one of Gandalfs fireworks racing away.
I wasn't going to hurt you, you stupid bird!! while I was shocked from its ridiculous display.
But I understood the bird and it's settings: for max surviving --> take no chances --> panic out at a maxed adrenal level.

Each time I feel pre flight anxiety, I feel being the bird and must smile at such a monitoring of yourself, while knowing better, but you feel it. I might sing kwaa kwaa to confront it
😁
Then realizing that, it helps me disconnecting fear from the experience.
 
yungexplorer said:
So here is where i realized i have a problem, and i would like to recieve some tips/help with this issue. I want a breakthrough. My intention is to see ANOTHER dimension, to leave this realm and enter another. I want to experience it.
Click to expand...

There's only one way to DMT land and that is to overcome your fear and just take the plunge and smoke more. Just keep going until you're gone :)

Sorry there's no easy way through. This is the way.
 
i was the same way at first and i still get a little scared every time, the best advice i can give is wait for an opportunity where youre in a good mood, make your setting as comfortable as possible and take at least three hits while trying to ignore the first effects. a breakthrough is like a scary movie, the first time you watch it it might mess you up for a bit but everytime you watch it after it gets a little less scary because you can expect whats gonna happen, all you have to do is take the first jump.
 
I think if you don't have some fear your nuts! It is sooooooo far different from ANYTHING we have experienced! how could you not fear that at first. So I look at the breakthrough as the destination. Wich is amazingly loving and beautiful however the ride up to the destination can be confusing disorientating scary ect… but once you get there that all melts away. smaller doses can do this to. I have had times with smaller doses on the way up where my head will feel like its about to explode (obviously it didn't) I have had times where I forget to breathe then I think hmm if I take more will I forget to breathe totally...obviously not. I have said this so many times in just a short timeframe its all about trust. TRUST in the substace (the vehicle that gets you there) trust where your going is safe and trust in your body that it will keep itself safe till you return! That's a hard thing to do in the beginning but some of the BEST trips have started out with that thought of "OH S*** I F***ed UP! but that's just the ride ther it goes away! having fear and axiety is normal but as stated above look at it dead on like a warrior and tell it "you will not control me!" each and everyone of us has so much power that we don't realise!
 
Jees said:
I think it's a primal first line response to an unknown potential threat, be it dangerous for the "persona" on the throne, all part of self preservation BIOS of which some settings carry a rather high ranked priority.
Click to expand...

That.
The very first time, and likely several times after, the spice experience is so intense and unknown, that fear is the natural reaction of most everyone:
The "oh sh*t" moment and the need to have it end.

And as mentioned above, a BT dose is much smoother and easier on the way up,
but the BT experience is in an entirely different dimension.

Safe travels.
 
Thank you for this post and the replies. It helps to normalize the fear hearing that its common. That "oh shit" moment has me a bit set back as well.

It immediately gave me some respect and I have been working on set and setting and clarify my intentions so that I can face the fear going in. The posts here have really helped to give me some additional confidence as I prepare myself. Thank you.
 
I posted in another thread the other day and mentioned that when I began my DMT journey, it was important to me not to have any fear whatsoever. Remember. There is nothing to fear because NOTHING can harm you. Sure, you may be startled at times. As long as you ride through that, you will be fine. The best advise I can give you is to expect the unexpected. Essentially, this mindset has helped me. It seems to be solid advice, according to the last person I said this to.

Hope this helps.

Peace.
DD.
 
DMT is so amazing that you will naturally fear it. However if you examine your fear and all the physical effects of the drug you will see that that fear is baseless and itself is an illusion.

As Frank Herbert put beautifully in dune:
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

Happy Travels :).
 
Icyseeker said:
DMT is so amazing that you will naturally fear it. However if you examine your fear and all the physical effects of the drug you will see that that fear is baseless and itself is an illusion.

As Frank Herbert put beautifully in dune:
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

Happy Travels :).
Click to expand...

That is hilarious. I went out of my way to avoid quoting Dune. I got to tell you, it was tough to do so. It was hand in the box painful. Thankfully, I made it through as a human and I am unscathed in the aftermath.

No doubt you recall my advice concerning gom jabbars. That was damn good advice if I must say so myself and I must. 😉 In truth, I avoided saying it because I predicted your comment would happen and I didn't want to steal your thunder. But, enough about my polite nature and one of my many superpowers.

Your quote is spot on. Fear is the mind-killer. SWIM had previously experience with trips, so that did help. State of mind is of paramount importance.

Peace.
DD.
 
OP, remember that you don't have to. The last thing you want is to build up anxiety before your trip: "will I break through this time, or will I fail?".

DMT is no "male orgasm" - it is more similar to alcohol in that everyone has his favorite level of intoxication. Some people drink until they pass out, others prefer to hover in the "warm buzz" zone; some people like to go deep on DMT, others prefer sub-breakthrough doses. A lot of people prefer DMT with harmalas, which is a long and slow journey compared to smoking freebase. There is a lot you can experience, and it is all magical.

You may love your first breakthrough experience. Or you may be shaking in absolute horror, pierced by sinister, most terrifying Evil, unable to scream or hope to return to the dream you called "life". Or you may have a breakthrough that is too complex and bizarre to remember well.

Going deep is not a prize, but a lottery.
 
In my limited experience the beings have always been warm and inviting as long as you have done your prep work. detox, set, setting, whole 9. and I mean a real detox no caffeine, sugar, or other not so healthy food, no outside input form tv, movies etc just positive thoughts and meditation for a few days. but I've also not given the drug the respect it deserved and been punished for it. If you give your utmost respect to the experience you will have no issues but only you can make the decision and trust your prep. there is no shame of being absolutely terrified hell i'm still a little nervous if i don't have everything perfect.

best wishes fellow traveler.
 
I'm went through a similar thing when I first start smoking DMT as well. Great things to help you focus on getting past your fears an anxiety could be a mantra, focusing on your intention, and surrendering yourself to the experience. It's great you wanna see another dimension because you will get to see that once you overcome the feeling. Some people think that you get a DMT overload when you die so a lot of your natural instincts of not wanting to "die" are kicking in. Just realize that you definitely won't. The DMT you take isn't harmful, just overwhelming. Cheers :lol:
 
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