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Shell Cracking


Rearranging the void
Staff member
Psychedelic guide
Before the end of college I had been a bit more outgoing and gregarious. Towards the end of college until now, that's been lost. Lots of reasons why. We have to spend time finding ourselves.

I'd like to do more. I'd like to break my shell a bit. But I question and doubt myself. There's plenty I'd like to do and plenty that's been recommended to me to do: write a book, start a YouTube channel, fitness model while training, speak more on psychedelics and guidework, etc. I guess part of me also doesn't want to be like others I view unfavorably. A fine line.

Maybe I'm too beyond myself. Perhaps too considerate. Perhaps too caring. Maybe I should just care a little less and just do it (thanks Shia and Nike 🤣).

I'm just rambling. Thanks for reading. All love.

One love
You would shine like a nova with any or all of those endeavors, I don't doubt that for a microsecond.

But we live in a super toxic, upside down culture that actively encourages any downtrodden (culturally) group to be quiet, be unseen and for the sake of all that is dominant and unwell , shut up.

So, if you do any or all of those things you will open yourself up to criticism, some warranted, most just mean, trolls, and possibly more, such as threats. That's just the world we live in. The holders of the means of production, the ruling class, the immense property owners, the heads of corporations and the war mongers who shirked service themselves have worked relatively hard to ensure the world is this way and remains this way.

You risk more by doing these things than anyone from those groups. So, by definition, you are considering a gamble when you consider putting yourself out there.

But, the thing is, you in particular, have so much to share and give that would quite literally make this world a better place.

So, if you choose to pursue these things you have nothing but support and admiration from my end of things.

But if you choose not to I also understand.

I just feel lucky to know you at this time in my life and I know others feel the same way.
Are you trying to make me cry? 😅 That was so incredibly touching, heartfelt, and meaningful @Pandora Thank you thank you thank. Thank you for the encouragement, thank you for the insight, and thank you for believing in me.

And you're right about what I'd likely have to deal with. However, and this is a bit of a quandary, part of me doesn't care. If a shared opinion, especially wrt me or something I said, isn't detailed and critical, I don't care about it. It's become noise to me. It's a quandary because if I go down these routes I'll have to balance such a stance since I will need to connect with an audience on some level to be "successful."

But again, I think I care too much. Just like worrying about doing these things saying something negatively about my ego. I probably should just give myself a break and fret less over it.

Thank you again. ❤️

One love
I can relate to the self doubt and questioning one self. But I'd like you to know that your posts have helped me along the way and inspired me since I discovered the Nexus a few years back.

I'm convinced that if you decide on starting something you'd like do, good things will come from it.

I wish you all the best Void!

The impossible kid
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