RootOfAllHealing
Rising Star
I know that nobody but myself can give a final answer to that question. But I believe it's a wise idea to get some input on it before making any decision.
I've been drug dependent for several years (mainly consuming daily high dose Phenibut - with occasional binges of stims added in). I've been out of drug dependence since doing Aya in 2019. I did have occasional binges(involving Phenibut, GHB, stims) since then, but no full-on dependency. I live an overall productive live now, am actively self-employed, learning new languages, ... I would say that I overall have my shit together, with occasional slip-ups.
What I hope from Iboga:
Still, I'm not sure if I should do a flood, and if I do it, in what environment.
First, regarding the if: The majority of people using Iboga seem to report very positive outcomes. However, there seem to be a handful of people with very bad reactions(lasting torture-like brain zaps, lasting "drugged" feeling, ...), and I wonder what's behind those. Are some people simply not meant to do Iboga? Did they have other stuff in their system messing things up? Where they given a bad dose(i.e. far too high, or possibly another plant)? In other words, can all bad reactions be attributed to human error, or is it a gamble and some people will simply react bad to Iboga? In general I seem not to be prone to getting unusual damage - I've done a bunch of heavy drug abuse in my life, and also had some very far-out psychedelic experiences, and generally feel very good and free from lasting damage(apart from cravings).
I'm also aware that there's several more gentle, slower approaches to addiction - i. e. Trauma Release Exercises, The presence process, ... However, part of me assumes that Iboga is more comprehensive and powerful in several ways, literally going to the very root. I understand addiction to stem from trauma, and trauma to be stored on multiple levels - tensions in the muscles to be released, toxins of some form in gut and liver, things on the psychological/spiritual level.
For me it's also about getting some things answered and finding purpose - something which I believe a teacher plant to be far more helpful with than any form of psychosomatic practice/exercise.
My other question is, if I'm going to flood, where to do it. I see how the full traditional Bwiti experience might be best - both in terms of getting maximum benefit, and safety - since I assume that every part of their complex tradition has its reason. At the same time, I only see such retreats in the range of ~3000€, which firstly is money that I simply don't have right now, and secondly also feels wrong to me to charge such amounts. I'm aware that I could get a flood dose off Maya, get an AirBNB in a remote natural environment for 3 days to a week, and flood there. Which seems much more doable for me in terms of money, but also potentially more dangerous(but potentially also psychologically safer - better to be on ones own, than with some plastic shaman only in it for the money). I've done Aya without a shaman before and benefitted greatly, so I generally believe it can be done, though I also feel like Iboga is quite a different animal.
I've been drug dependent for several years (mainly consuming daily high dose Phenibut - with occasional binges of stims added in). I've been out of drug dependence since doing Aya in 2019. I did have occasional binges(involving Phenibut, GHB, stims) since then, but no full-on dependency. I live an overall productive live now, am actively self-employed, learning new languages, ... I would say that I overall have my shit together, with occasional slip-ups.
What I hope from Iboga:
- I would *love* to get to a point where I'm able to have stuff like GHB, 2CB, maybe even stims sitting around, without slipping into binges. If possible, I would prefer to learn a controlled use, instead of having to ditch those substances completely. (I'm already at the level where I can stop before things get *too* out of hand, but I would like to get to a level of full control)
- If such is not possible for me, and I need to abstain completely, I want to be clearly told that. I'm open to accepting such answer and completely cutting certain substances out of my life. But I want clarity, so I don't have to second-guess.
- Get a better understanding of which path I should walk in life. I'm at a point in life where I have a high degree of freedom and possibilities, but feel very unclear about what I actually SHOULD do with that. I feel like I should do something meaningful, build something bigger than myself, NOW, and have several ideas, but am not sure what I should decide for. I'm not talking "get rich and famous" type of project here(though I believe money to be something that can be put to a lot of very positive uses, so I'm very open to new avenues of making more), but rather about contributing something to the world-at-large.
Still, I'm not sure if I should do a flood, and if I do it, in what environment.
First, regarding the if: The majority of people using Iboga seem to report very positive outcomes. However, there seem to be a handful of people with very bad reactions(lasting torture-like brain zaps, lasting "drugged" feeling, ...), and I wonder what's behind those. Are some people simply not meant to do Iboga? Did they have other stuff in their system messing things up? Where they given a bad dose(i.e. far too high, or possibly another plant)? In other words, can all bad reactions be attributed to human error, or is it a gamble and some people will simply react bad to Iboga? In general I seem not to be prone to getting unusual damage - I've done a bunch of heavy drug abuse in my life, and also had some very far-out psychedelic experiences, and generally feel very good and free from lasting damage(apart from cravings).
I'm also aware that there's several more gentle, slower approaches to addiction - i. e. Trauma Release Exercises, The presence process, ... However, part of me assumes that Iboga is more comprehensive and powerful in several ways, literally going to the very root. I understand addiction to stem from trauma, and trauma to be stored on multiple levels - tensions in the muscles to be released, toxins of some form in gut and liver, things on the psychological/spiritual level.
For me it's also about getting some things answered and finding purpose - something which I believe a teacher plant to be far more helpful with than any form of psychosomatic practice/exercise.
My other question is, if I'm going to flood, where to do it. I see how the full traditional Bwiti experience might be best - both in terms of getting maximum benefit, and safety - since I assume that every part of their complex tradition has its reason. At the same time, I only see such retreats in the range of ~3000€, which firstly is money that I simply don't have right now, and secondly also feels wrong to me to charge such amounts. I'm aware that I could get a flood dose off Maya, get an AirBNB in a remote natural environment for 3 days to a week, and flood there. Which seems much more doable for me in terms of money, but also potentially more dangerous(but potentially also psychologically safer - better to be on ones own, than with some plastic shaman only in it for the money). I've done Aya without a shaman before and benefitted greatly, so I generally believe it can be done, though I also feel like Iboga is quite a different animal.
