Hello friends.
I had to stop taking DMT more than 3 years ago because I started to have psychotic symptoms. During the month before it happened, I had been smoking changa (rarely vaporizing DMT by itself) two or three times every day, which is a lot for me.
My last experience felt like a return to the realm I had previously visited on ayahuasca. I recall the sensation of being freed from the psychological / spiritual weight I was carrying by a female loving presence. She told me that I already had the things I was looking for and that there was no need to keep searching. The emotions I felt were very profound and made me cry (I usually can't cry even in the saddest situations) and I decided not to take DMT again.
Nevertheless, I believe the damage had already been done and on the following days I had moments in which reality felt ethereal, as if everything was made of thin air. I had to stay focused on some detail, otherwise my mind would wander and reality would disappear.
Things kept getting worse until I couldn't stay grounded in reality for more than a few seconds at a time. My mind was constantly racing to the point I wasn't able to read a book quote to its end without forgetting how it started.
During the day I couldn't leave my house because I was terrified by any kind of noise, music or bright light. Then every night I felt extremely cold and weak, the same way being about to faint feels like.
I believed that the world was inhabited by demonic forces which, through the sounds and all the other things that bothered me during the day, were making me physically sick.
Eventually I was afraid to get asleep, because I believed that if I did it the world I knew would disappear and I would get trapped in another dimension. So I would stay awake as long as I could and the sleep deprivation made things worse.
All of this lasted for about 1 month, then slowly things got better.
In these 3+ years I have never thought about vaporizing DMT, but suddenly the last few days I have been feeling the desire to trip again, because I feel like I'm missing out on something. This feeling hasn't yet subsided and the only thing that's keeping me from doing it is the fear that what I wrote above could happen again.
What would you do if you were in my situation? Or have you ever had a similar experience you feel comfortable sharing?
I had to stop taking DMT more than 3 years ago because I started to have psychotic symptoms. During the month before it happened, I had been smoking changa (rarely vaporizing DMT by itself) two or three times every day, which is a lot for me.
My last experience felt like a return to the realm I had previously visited on ayahuasca. I recall the sensation of being freed from the psychological / spiritual weight I was carrying by a female loving presence. She told me that I already had the things I was looking for and that there was no need to keep searching. The emotions I felt were very profound and made me cry (I usually can't cry even in the saddest situations) and I decided not to take DMT again.
Nevertheless, I believe the damage had already been done and on the following days I had moments in which reality felt ethereal, as if everything was made of thin air. I had to stay focused on some detail, otherwise my mind would wander and reality would disappear.
Things kept getting worse until I couldn't stay grounded in reality for more than a few seconds at a time. My mind was constantly racing to the point I wasn't able to read a book quote to its end without forgetting how it started.
During the day I couldn't leave my house because I was terrified by any kind of noise, music or bright light. Then every night I felt extremely cold and weak, the same way being about to faint feels like.
I believed that the world was inhabited by demonic forces which, through the sounds and all the other things that bothered me during the day, were making me physically sick.
Eventually I was afraid to get asleep, because I believed that if I did it the world I knew would disappear and I would get trapped in another dimension. So I would stay awake as long as I could and the sleep deprivation made things worse.
All of this lasted for about 1 month, then slowly things got better.
In these 3+ years I have never thought about vaporizing DMT, but suddenly the last few days I have been feeling the desire to trip again, because I feel like I'm missing out on something. This feeling hasn't yet subsided and the only thing that's keeping me from doing it is the fear that what I wrote above could happen again.
What would you do if you were in my situation? Or have you ever had a similar experience you feel comfortable sharing?
