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Some entity is trying to kill me.

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Caespitosa

Rising Star
Hello everyone,

So yesterday I attempted to breakthrough using GVG 40mg nndmt. I did not manage to breakthrough and instantly began to choke, I ran to the bathroom trying to vomit and couldn't, I felt like something was trying to kill me, physically, actually, kill me.

At the time I assumed it was the dmt, and that I was having a bad trip, and somehow denied access to hyperspace, as I have never broken through, and have been attempting for a few days.

Today I tried again, this time 25mg x 2. The first hit I was okay, I wasn't broken through however felt a presence approach as I laid on the bed, and began to realize and make sense of what happened yesterday. So I came to the conclusion that I just needed to relax, understand that everything will be alright, and stop trying to be in control of everything. Then I took the 2nd 25mg...

Same thing as yesterday, I began to be choked, i again ran to the bathroom trying to puke but couldn't. I could sense what I make out to be some parasitic entity. It IS trying to kill me!!
It is somehow denying me entry to hyperspace and is physically trying to kill me. I feel that if I attempt to breakthrough again that it is going to be there waiting for me and try and kill me.

I know it sounds like I'm being dramatic, but I'm not. I fought for my life two days in a row. I know its good quality dmt, I know this isn't poisoning, or overdosing. This is something, interdimensional? spiritual? evil? But it is trying to kill me. I know this.

I haven't physically seen it, but I can sense it, see it in my minds eye, not physically, but its presence is so physical I felt i could punch it, though I know it would have no effect.

Please my dear Nexians, have any of you encountered this before? Can you offer some advice as to stop this. It was torture, and very very real. I'm not very literate so I'm trying my best to put this into words. I don't know where else to speak about this.

Please help.
Caespitosa
 
If you need so much spice in a gvg and still not break trough, you are overly insensitive for spice or doing it all wrong. I guess the second. Also, the blaming part speaks for itself.
Not looking good :thumb_dow
The good news: you can only improve from here :thumb_up:

That entity is probably ramming the gvg in your throat because of your blasphemic ritual of ruining spice, can't blame him in hindsight. You see, he does you a favor actually.

Good luck,
learn and prosper.
 
Thanks for your input Jees. I'll definitely take that into consideration.
It sounds however that you have not had any experience with what I am trying to describe.
Thanks,
Caespitosa
 
Your issue is two-fold I believe, part is the smoalking/vaping but the other part is mindset.

Clearly your mindset is not being helped by the choalking. My wife has similar issues with choking and I can get to how she overcomes that.

For some the first breakthrough is wonderful, but I am not so sure that for most it is not equally terrifying. For me it felt like a dentist reaching into my brain, and rummaging around in there whilst I was strapped to the chair. Seeing this as an external entity that means you harm is going to increase the terror. Think of it more as another part of you getting free reign over the parts of you usually fully controlled by your ego. And believe me, an unconscious part of your ego really does not like this at first.

If someone walks into your house, you can either see them as a killer come to get you, or a friend you have invited over. But by taking DMT you already invited them, so don't be so surprised when they show up.

Be assured, nobody is trying to kill you. Some here have been torn limb from limb in those first encounters, those that have often come back the strongest.

So, be ready to invite them/you in, accept them/you and love them/you, or don't do DMT. Although I would say DMT is a great way to learn to do this if you are initially not able to.

Choking is probably the reason for you defensive psychological reaction though - hard to relax and accept when you feel like you are fighting for your life. And I would not expect you to break through whilst running for the toilet, especially if you have choked most of it out. Running to the toilet I would imagine has quite a grounding effect, especially if also psychologically you are trying to block out an assumed killer.

The solution for my wife has been to take many more smaller puffs and not so deep, believe me she still gets there. A desktop vape with a bag helps with this as we can make a more dilute vapour.

If you are used to being a hardened smoker, then perhaps you are burning it, I am not personally familiar with the famed GVG so I cannot help you on method, but if the smell is of burnt plastic then I would guess this may have happened, but really thick spice vapour does take some getting used to for us non-smokers.
 
Thank you upwaysidedown!

What you've said makes a lot of sense to me. I was very frightened and panicked, thus making things a lot worse. I also was quite traumatized and came here straight away looking for advice. Just now I have tried a lower dose 15mg, this time with someone in another room sending me love and good thoughts, and there was no choking, no breakthrough, but wonderful visuals nonetheless. I believe my state of mind was the cause of all this, not my method of smoking. Thank you again for the advice.

I am going to take a break for a week, I have exams coming up and need to focus on this. I will attempt a breakthrough next week some time. This time with someone very loving and positive present again. Even if to just allow me to relax and let go. :)
 
Love to see the improvement already :thumb_up:

I was totally panicked and freaked out with a sky high revving heart beat, thinking back of it LOL. I thought never going to love spice, and considering flushing everything. Biiig mistake, all wrong, was the thoughts.

But all it needed was that ever golden rule: pace down. Start low, stay low, until you rather get bored than exited (manner of speaking). Only then up dose small increments. Stay on that dose level again. Until very familiar, before increasing again. And I mean not all in one evening. One took a day is more than fast enough.

I wont say splashing hard is wrong, but it takes agreement from the personality, ability, karma whatever for it to be success.

I'll use a physical metaphor:
This hard-splash style can be success for a while and then suddenly it can go very wrong out of the blue. Like the hardcore fitness dude unexpectedly ripping a muscle tendon apart.

The slow (or very slow) approach is IME building you a spine gradually to relay on forever. Like you first strengthen the tendons before the muscle size/power reaches size.

During the course of your slow path, on a day you'll feel intuitively a call for a once session with more dose. Answer that call no problem, this could be a upward spike in the gradual trend but it'll call you, rather than you calling it out.

upwaysidedown has very good advise :thumb_up:
 
The title of this thread is entirely over dramatic. Nothing is trying to kill you, you didn't almost die. It's all your subconscious terrors surfacing and you don't seem to know how to control them. Take a break until you can handle things better, DMT will always be there, no need to try to kick in the door.
 
The DMT experience can leave you without any sort of awareness of breathing, to the point where it feels 110% like you've stopped breathing or are getting choked up; you're not. Part of the experience. Breathe those last few breaths through your nose as it's ramping up, lay back, and allow whatever happens to happen. You're body knows what to do, just lay back and go. Such a wide variety of effects that DMT can bring up, that you really should expect the unexpected, in all it's forms and/or feelings.

Another thing - don't fight it, get up, flail, anything, just be with the experience, on its own terms. Let it wash over you. Just let it. It's short in effects, sacrifice yourself for those few minutes.
 
Concentrate on your breathing before. Sit and really watch your breathing and see how effortless it is. It just happens. Just observe this for as long as you need before you attempt your journey.

Imagine the breath coming into your body. Imagine it going out. Imagine you are breathing. Close your eyes and concentrate on this one thing as much as possible. Feel the breath coming to you. Ignore the panic signals as much as possible. What you feel as an entity is your own panic. You control what is within you.

Some itchiness on the back of the throat can be a bit irritating from DMT. Being thirty in hyperspace sucks too. I always eat fruit before and after a DMT trip. I always hydrate and make sure that my throat is quenched and moist before vaping DMT.

Have everything you need right by your side. Have a bucket ready and retch if you need. Do what you need to as Tattvamasi stated. But try and concentrate on your breathing. Find your breath. Trust and know it is there and happening.

Don't be in a hurry. Some of what you are experiencing could be like running and being out of breath. Slow down and walk. Breath. Pay attention.
 
Thank you for the report and I wish you safety, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually! You will be in my prayers!

This is something to consider for safety reasons, and I have had a can of whoop-ass opened on me psychedelically. I started off with Salvia 30x for my first psychedelic experience and have never been the same since. You can only integrate this experience, but for a long time, I felt like Salvia "attacked" me, with all the cultural stigma attached for "La Maria Ska Pastora". I have to give you a warning however, whether you want to become defensive or not:

Ever possibly wonder, past the intense psychedelic reaction and fast onset of the experience that, especially after experiencing the SAME exact physical symptoms of Choking after the 25mg x 2 test-run, that "FUCK, i might be having an allergic reaction to a tryptamine?" Yes, DMT is safe, FOR MOST PEOPLE. However, a very similar tryptamine, bufotenine, lead to choking-like symptoms who were, as I remember correctly, injected with the substance. you might have actually underwent a possible life-threatening physical allergic reaction (people have had heart attacks) and the nurses on the Spirit Molecule documentary even emphasized how happy they were to have a crash cart in the room. Seriously. We are entering the foreign and infinite waters of our psyche and not only that, the Spirit Molecule, can not only take one psychologically to the edge of death, but can take the unhealthy to the Physical edge of death, regardless of how much the "UK has had vast extensive research on the safety of DMT fumarate". One can easily become trapped in Maya (illusion). Say Hooray! You probably are not under attack. Entities exist, oh GOD, they do.. but you are not having an attack. Yes, there are entities. The Spirit World exists and constantly interacts and interpenetrates our third dimension. The likelihood of you being consistently locked out of "hyperspace" which is only a cultural connotation at best to explain the intense flow of information coming from the fourth dimension after smoking the extracted crystals of various plant materials that could biologically be using these compounds as a warning defense mechanism, rather for enlightenment. We might simply be enlightening ourselves by consistently kicking our asses. Some cultures practice self-flaggelation and whipping, so sometimes pain is desirable. Pardon the ramblings. 😁

If that wasn't an allergic reaction (and if it was, what might happen the third time?), then possibly, you are not physically prepared for the spiritual vibrational intensity of DMT. It's relative vibrational frequency which can be quantitatively measured in terms of Hz is probably vibrating at a rate higher than the human brain (which naturally vibrates at about 72 Hz, remember that, simply Hz). Now, Rose essential oil, the highest recorded and documented oil so far, had a vibrational frequency of 320 MhZ!. See, MEGA-Hertz. Plants are quantitatively higher vibrational beings than us. The admission of ignorance is beginning of the attainment of wisdom. At the moment, I recommend (after 5+ extensive years of occult and esoteric practice), you must work harder in the paths of every-day self sacrifice (THE RIGHT HAND PATH, Research it!, ego annihilation and overall self-realization. Rememeber, Ayahuasca and admixture plants are "power plants" in the culture, "teachers". Ayahuasca is work, smoked DMT is even harder work. Do you know how effortlessly strong of a psyche you must have to integrate the myriads of information that pass through you during a breakthrough? Overall, another thing to keep in mind is, you very likely had an Allergic Reaction.

If anything, if there is an entity, it is YOU, preventing YOU, your own EGO, from breaking through, and the Ego is what religions classify as Satan, the Great Adversary, etc. It knows the Sacred potential of DMT. But I want to Emphasize this. Really, Look. The fact that you CHOKED and were unable to expectorate really concerns me for your health with the substance! leads me to really let you know to consider the weight of what you're thinking about pursuing. Read "Why you should NOT Take DMT", if you haven't.

DMT might be "spiritual" but not every reaction is Spiritual. I know with all that others have experienced, it is easy to summarize or intuit that an entity might be "out to get you", but feel a lot safer knowing that you might have had an allergic reaction and aren't under the attack of possible Luciferian spirits. They aren't fun to play with. And remember, DMT is the third most powerful natural hallucinogen by weight under Salvinorin A and 5-Meo-DMT, so take that one in mind. Even 5 mg can elicit reactions in individuals, with 10mg yielding a breakthrough.

Also, with all this said, i wanted to say I am proud of you for actually going back and ever trying it again after the choking sensation. That would have skepted me out.

Love and Light
EarthDweller
 
Earth Dweller,

With all due respect I do not think someone can be allergic to DMT it being endogenous and a part of regular human metabolism (dreams, visionary experiences, etc...)

However, if this was an allergic reaction, it could be to any number of other things.

I think the OP said that he tried it again in a smaller amount and it was fine.

The point about DMT not being for everyone, yea that's definitely a thing; some people want to keep sleeping.

I know people that are a lot more comfortable visiting these realms under the guidance of a trusted Shaman, but to each his own!
 
TheWizard said:
Earth Dweller,

With all due respect I do not think someone can be allergic to DMT it being endogenous and a part of regular human metabolism (dreams, visionary experiences, etc...)

However, if this was an allergic reaction, it could be to any number of other things.

I think the OP said that he tried it again in a smaller amount and it was fine.

I think this is an interesting thought, even though dmt has been found within all mammals in small amounts, that doesn't necessarily mean someone wouldn't be allergic to it in higher doses, especially when smoked. Even though your appendix is a natural part of your body, it can be deadly, somewhat similar to an allergic reaction in a way.
 
It seems like I'll be in the minority saying this, but I don't think you should be smoking or vaping DMT.

I question the idea held by many on this forum that there is nothing to fear on the path of smoalking DMT if you could only let go and merge with it. The idea to "just do it" in spite of oneself. I personally think that smoalking DMT is something our bodies aren't physically adapted to do, and although it can be a wonderfully transcendent and life-affirming experience, I think there are other, safer, more holistic methods of acheiving well being, or exploration, that are more harmonious with the body.

Dry heaving sounds like you would need to mix that DMT with harmalas, and drink it. Or like I said, simply not do it at all.

I personally would choose to listen to my own body and emotions over some notion held by people you don't know that all will be well despite your violent reactions.

Though, I do think it's a good idea to alter the setting like you did and start at lower doses, that is if you really are dead set on putting DMT in your lungs.
 
ultraviolence said:
TheWizard said:
Earth Dweller,

With all due respect I do not think someone can be allergic to DMT it being endogenous and a part of regular human metabolism (dreams, visionary experiences, etc...)

However, if this was an allergic reaction, it could be to any number of other things.

I think the OP said that he tried it again in a smaller amount and it was fine.

I think this is an interesting thought, even though dmt has been found within all mammals in small amounts, that doesn't necessarily mean someone wouldn't be allergic to it in higher doses, especially when smoked. Even though your appendix is a natural part of your body, it can be deadly, somewhat similar to an allergic reaction in a way.

Let me reiterate: I am only theorizing a possibility. I am alongside all of you regarding the psychosomatic nature of the experience. The feeling of "being underwater", "air being sucked out of the room", or being underground are common. Trust me, I'm firmly footed in the boat to support the production of endogenous DMT, bufotenine and beta carbolines throughout everyday life, various mystical experiences, meditation, the dreaming argument, etc. Scientists also found higher amounts of DMT concentration in schizophrenic patients in the 1970's research period, so not everything can be inherently beneficial (just like the appendix argument! :) ) I only pointed out the point of a possible physical allergic reaction was only the fact of the consistent psychical effects that the same high dose brought on, and for this man's inherent safety. I don't want anyone on the Nexus to die, or the Earth for that matter, if that doesn't bother you. Biochemistry is a strange thing amigo. I read a report on Erowid, one could easily find it in the DMT Health Problems section where an individual had a heart attack after smoking DMT. They were in the hospital asking what happened approximately less than about two hours after he took the hit.

I gave a pretty heavy spiritual argument as to why he had that experience, and in that corner of the ring, I will firmly stand in that opinion as well. A very well subscribed opinion too is that The Ego is a Legion, a grouping of psychological aggregates if you will (thoughts, emotions, desires and interests, etc.), and I would much rather it be a manner of spiritual or psychological proportions that can be overcome. :)

Anyways, my advice would be, if you do smoke DMT again, I do recommend the bucket and prior meditation before the experience. Clear one's throat and research more into the choking sensation during thresh-hold and breakthrough experiences.

Love and peace to All,
EarthDweller
 
Could it also be something called laryngospasm? It feels like it can kill a person (but moar likely the spasm will stop once a person falls unconscious). This can be caused by fumes or ANY (normally benign) irritant as well as from ingesting pure, undiluted essential oils (eucalypus, mint....) Our mother (R.A.) got this after accidently/carelessly swallowing some undiluted eucalyptus oil.

There was a PLB breathing tek that helped her overcome a laryngospasm, however it was pure terror...as far as she told we, she was able to exhale but unable to inhale, so when that happened, she used the remaining exhale using the PLB breathing (slowly exhaling with pressure through pursed lips)......
 
I had something similar to this happen a few times smoking and I really do believe it's about the smoking technique.
Are you sure you are not burning the substance (the fact that you are using a rather high dose without breaking through seems to further suggest this)? Have you tried using a lot more steel screens in the GVG?

Once I tried to change my smoking technique I didn't have any problem anymore. I also had this problem with trying to smoke other substances like tobacco, so you shouldn't worry that an entity is trying to kill you, what you are experiencing has more to do with how you are smoking the substance/burning it and less about the experience on the substance itself, in my opinion.
A combination of some effects of the dmt combined with burning the substance can lead to experiences similar to what you are describing.


Try changing the smoking method and let us know.
Also, use lower doses for the first times. Only once you are sure that you are getting the technique right you should use progressively higher doses. You don't want to rush into this.
 
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