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*suicide trigger warning* overcoming grief.

hello I have been using psychedelics to help me overcome my grief and depression. my little brother killed himself a couple years back and I've not been the same since.. I've had my own battles with suicidal ideation and drug addiction and that's partly why I blame myself sometimes for his actions. he was high on meth running from police when he ran into a lake and drowned. RX antidepressants are do ing pretty much jackshit but luckily I have access to psycedelics. trying to make them affordable as a medical treatment has been challenging but I think I'm on my way,
 
would like to know more about DMT. I'm not well versed in that, more experienced with lysergamides and psilo.
 
I personally never tryed 5meo and my opinion is from what ive read....
I would try... 5meo... because a trip into the sun..has left many with a lasting after glow from the experiance..after all positive light beats negative darkness.!

I can understand how crashing into the sun experiance might make positive changes in a persons life..

All ive done is LSD and NNDMT ..it can be positive ..every experiance can be different.

also ...[really good LSD 25] with positive music... can help... because it has helped alcaholics stop drinking and change their lives... ...DR Tim Leary

LSD has been used to help people in hospitals exiting life..in a more happy way..

what ever is done.. suicide is not the answer .. life is always best!!

Good luck!:)
 
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Grief is a very complex emotion that seems to only get deeper with age. I had wrote this post once before and still don't know how to properly convey my message into words other than that there is no right or wrong way. Reading The Smell of Rain on Dust by Martin Pretchel was an interesting find at a random air bnb that gave me a different perspective that I hadn't realized. We are made to feel like we have to control the process when it is a natural process. When we lose someone we are made to feel like we have to get over them at some point which is completely false. There is no getting over the loss of someone we hold dearly to us. The pain from our loss doesn't go away over time. What we have to do (cause our lives really do depend on it) is harness that pain and channel it into something constructive with it being a very strong source of energy and motivation that if not done could easily be the source to our demise. This is coming from seeing friends and family passing away around me from substance abuse or suicide. Having struggled with suicidal ideations from an early age I live everyday in honor for those who couldn't continue the struggle. DMT taps us into our true core if even for only ten minutes but then comes the new sense of perspective, astonishment, and reverence for ourselves along with the smaller life forms extending into the energetic plains of existence. Much love brother.
 
Personally dmt hasn't done anything to awaken my will to live. That came from lsd. However not to say it wont you. In my experience, what makes you want to kill yourself is derived from personal reasonings. Those reasons are yours and you need to come to terms with them. For me multiple reasons made me feel unsettled in this world. Lsd and psilocybin litterally in words said outloud and in my head "I'm going to kill you" and "kill yourself". I told that voice no, it went away but still there. It's almost as if the universe knows me. DMT on the otherhand. Is more of higher self awareness that obliterated my religious/spiritual beliefs. If you want to meet yourself and your brother and all of which is everything, DMT could be an answer. However take it with a grain of salt. I've had toilets come alive, lamps become DJs, portals open up, ripped out of my body and melted into a cartoon land. Whatever all that means meant almost nothing to me in my day to day life. Only that there is some weird shit going on in my head and out in the wiggle space.
 
Grief is a very complex emotion that seems to only get deeper with age. I had wrote this post once before and still don't know how to properly convey my message into words other than that there is no right or wrong way. Reading The Smell of Rain on Dust by Martin Pretchel was an interesting find at a random air bnb that gave me a different perspective that I hadn't realized. We are made to feel like we have to control the process when it is a natural process. When we lose someone we are made to feel like we have to get over them at some point which is completely false. There is no getting over the loss of someone we hold dearly to us. The pain from our loss doesn't go away over time. What we have to do (cause our lives really do depend on it) is harness that pain and channel it into something constructive with it being a very strong source of energy and motivation that if not done could easily be the source to our demise. This is coming from seeing friends and family passing away around me from substance abuse or suicide. Having struggled with suicidal ideations from an early age I live everyday in honor for those who couldn't continue the struggle. DMT taps us into our true core if even for only ten minutes but then comes the new sense of perspective, astonishment, and reverence for ourselves along with the smaller life forms extending into the energetic plains of existence. Much love brother.
thank you for making a grown gopher cry
 
Personally dmt hasn't done anything to awaken my will to live. That came from lsd. However not to say it wont you. In my experience, what makes you want to kill yourself is derived from personal reasonings. Those reasons are yours and you need to come to terms with them. For me multiple reasons made me feel unsettled in this world. Lsd and psilocybin litterally in words said outloud and in my head "I'm going to kill you" and "kill yourself". I told that voice no, it went away but still there. It's almost as if the universe knows me. DMT on the otherhand. Is more of higher self awareness that obliterated my religious/spiritual beliefs. If you want to meet yourself and your brother and all of which is everything, DMT could be an answer. However take it with a grain of salt. I've had toilets come alive, lamps become DJs, portals open up, ripped out of my body and melted into a cartoon land. Whatever all that means meant almost nothing to me in my day to day life. Only that there is some weird shit going on in my head and out in the wiggle space.
the voice goes - you must be the one to suppress it though. you must be very intentional about it. no need to consciously process old baggage, your body will (unconsciously) do that for you when you give it space and time
 
Personally dmt hasn't done anything to awaken my will to live. That came from lsd. However not to say it wont you. In my experience, what makes you want to kill yourself is derived from personal reasonings. Those reasons are yours and you need to come to terms with them. For me multiple reasons made me feel unsettled in this world. Lsd and psilocybin litterally in words said outloud and in my head "I'm going to kill you" and "kill yourself". I told that voice no, it went away but still there. It's almost as if the universe knows me. DMT on the otherhand. Is more of higher self awareness that obliterated my religious/spiritual beliefs. If you want to meet yourself and your brother and all of which is everything, DMT could be an answer. However take it with a grain of salt. I've had toilets come alive, lamps become DJs, portals open up, ripped out of my body and melted into a cartoon land. Whatever all that means meant almost nothing to me in my day to day life. Only that there is some weird shit going on in my head and out in the wiggle space.
love this message btw - defo personal rationalisations, outlooks/perspectives etc etc that are rooted in a lot of depressive episodes / major depressions, and they become lots easier to uptake in these moods to, and can very easily become habit because sometimes we think trying is too difficult. in fact- sometimes it certainly does feel too difficult. but that does not mean that one cannot succeed

god is with those who struggle :)
 
psychological states/conditions, i should say, rather than mood.

these states or conditions are the substrate out of which the mood might change
 
should however be added that these conditions are just as much physiological (in the body) as they are psychological, both irremovable from one another
 
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