The Bridge of Ego Loss
Saturday Morning 1 August 2009
This was the most intense and strong spice experience that I have had so far, the setting was in my bedroom around about 11am in the morning on my bed with my kitty (Its lovely to have my kitty around during all my spice journeys.) I had made sure that my bedroom was nice and dark but lovely small shards of light do come through which is a perfect environment for a spice experience. It had been over a month since I last had smoked spice as I like to really work through all the meanings and emotions that are invoked by my journeys. Incense was burning and tingshas had been chimed to clear the space of energy.
I first started with a 4mg dose (This is spice which had no jungle present) as I'm really sensitive to spice and I wanted to have a good handshake before I smoked a little bit of a larger dose.
So I smoked the 4mg and I gently closed my eyes and almost immediately as I closed my eyes I felt this immense compassionate entity pour over me and cradle me with warmth and happiness and compassion. I felt so protected and safe, beautiful red flower petals danced and opened before me which were bathed in light and colour that was so bright but also transparent almost like bright water colours overlaying and smudging over my vision.
I slowly opened my eyes and I felt such a calm peace that lingered over me, but I was filled with questions and wonder. Who was this entity that comes to me and what were they trying to show me? So I made the decision to go back but I was going to take 6mg just a little bit more and see where it took me.
As I smoked the 6mg I held onto the question who are you, who are you? (It was my mantra that I went into the experience with). All of a sudden I felt the compassionate entity come over me again, so I asked who are you, who are you? All of a sudden I felt myself being taken up and out of my crown, with incredible speed all these electric strings seemed to flow towards a tunnel like shape. It was beautiful but I was really scared I just kept on trying to grasp onto my self, grasping, grasping.
The entity said don't worry it will be ok let go. But I couldn't for some reason. The entity also said to me it’s not important who I am or what I am here for what is important now is that you let go and move to where I want to take you to. But for some reason i just couldn't let go of myself and my ego all I wanted to do was grasp onto them and treasure them and react with fear.
The experience and the entity slowly faded away and I opened my eyes, I felt sad that I couldn't let go of myself and my ego but I realized that this is what I need to work and focus on before I can move forward, I need to learn how to let go of my ego and fear otherwise my journeys won’t go any further until I am able to.
This was a huge journey for me and I learnt a lot about myself and my own personal journey
Much Peace and Understanding
Saturday Morning 1 August 2009
This was the most intense and strong spice experience that I have had so far, the setting was in my bedroom around about 11am in the morning on my bed with my kitty (Its lovely to have my kitty around during all my spice journeys.) I had made sure that my bedroom was nice and dark but lovely small shards of light do come through which is a perfect environment for a spice experience. It had been over a month since I last had smoked spice as I like to really work through all the meanings and emotions that are invoked by my journeys. Incense was burning and tingshas had been chimed to clear the space of energy.
I first started with a 4mg dose (This is spice which had no jungle present) as I'm really sensitive to spice and I wanted to have a good handshake before I smoked a little bit of a larger dose.
So I smoked the 4mg and I gently closed my eyes and almost immediately as I closed my eyes I felt this immense compassionate entity pour over me and cradle me with warmth and happiness and compassion. I felt so protected and safe, beautiful red flower petals danced and opened before me which were bathed in light and colour that was so bright but also transparent almost like bright water colours overlaying and smudging over my vision.
I slowly opened my eyes and I felt such a calm peace that lingered over me, but I was filled with questions and wonder. Who was this entity that comes to me and what were they trying to show me? So I made the decision to go back but I was going to take 6mg just a little bit more and see where it took me.
As I smoked the 6mg I held onto the question who are you, who are you? (It was my mantra that I went into the experience with). All of a sudden I felt the compassionate entity come over me again, so I asked who are you, who are you? All of a sudden I felt myself being taken up and out of my crown, with incredible speed all these electric strings seemed to flow towards a tunnel like shape. It was beautiful but I was really scared I just kept on trying to grasp onto my self, grasping, grasping.
The entity said don't worry it will be ok let go. But I couldn't for some reason. The entity also said to me it’s not important who I am or what I am here for what is important now is that you let go and move to where I want to take you to. But for some reason i just couldn't let go of myself and my ego all I wanted to do was grasp onto them and treasure them and react with fear.
The experience and the entity slowly faded away and I opened my eyes, I felt sad that I couldn't let go of myself and my ego but I realized that this is what I need to work and focus on before I can move forward, I need to learn how to let go of my ego and fear otherwise my journeys won’t go any further until I am able to.
This was a huge journey for me and I learnt a lot about myself and my own personal journey
Much Peace and Understanding
