"You become the visuals"

This stuck in my head. I managed my first breakthough yesterday and it was (quite expectedly) not like I expected it to be.

But I was 'there'

I was very much part of the visuals.

I couldn't remember all of what happened, although some of it has returned to me (or perhaps became a little more clear as time has passed and I have been able to process it)

When I came round the first thing I asked my friends was "were my eyes open?"

I had intended testing the visuals with my eyes open, as I had gone eyes shut on my previous couple attempts.

During the trip I had seen my friends and assumed my eyes must have been open. They assured me they were closed.

We were sitting in a triangle in the room and that is how they appeared to me. At times I could just about make out form and faces other times we were 3 globule like shapes surrounded by a field of pulsating energy. (Ties into the "we're all connected theory" I suppose)

I had real difficulty reasoning whether they were them or me and I felt at times as if all 3 people/energies were one (all me?)

When someone spoke their energy shined brighter and wider, pulsating almost.

The visuals/patterns/colours all moved and changed as usual but flowed over these 3 beings.

The visuals also felt like a lot less of the overall experience, perhaps because I my focus was distracted with other thoughts.

I was surprised to find the goings on in the room, happening in my trip, I fully expected to be completely detached from reality.

When I came back it took time and difficulty to re-adjust, just as I felt I was getting a grip of things it slipped again.

Once I was almost fully back and there were just lingering visuals and slight disorientation. One of my friends looked perfectly normal. My other friend, who had just taken DMT a few minutes before me, his face was distorted and goulish at times and my refection in the mirror looked almost totally blurred out. It was almost like my mind was visualising how 'with it' each of us were.

All in, it was a remarkable yet slightly unnerving experience.

I had a period, when returning, when it was just starting to dawn on me that this was the effect of DMT, that I thought "I don't want to do this again"

2 minutes later I thought "I could go again right now"

I thought better of it and let it mellow. We had an ayahuaska weekend booked in Cork this weekend, where the plan was for the first Aya and Bufo experiences. But the Beast from the East has put that literally on ice.

So that'll have to wait.