The Gift of the Morning

[CrazyAstronaut]

Hello and good morning (UTC/GMT +1) to all the good people of this forum.

I am reading here now for quite some time and have a good amount of first hand experiences stored in my memory cells. My original intention was to post a comment on this thread about having experiences in the morning right after wakeup. But since I am not allowed to post there yet, I want to seize the opportunity and give myself a proper introduction here.

Maybe for starters some words about my person: Currently I work self employed as a software engineer, after I quit my job in november last year during a one year sabbatical. I didn't take the academical road and never became a certified student of any kind, but on the contrary studying is what I am doing since my seeding. Guess I am an explorer by nature, because I like to dig deep and find out stuff for my self and for the good of others. Therefore I think it was not an accident, when I finally stumbled over this great teacher and medicine that is DMT. My whole being seemed to recognise the molecule instantly when first administered in late 2020, half a year before my 30th birthday. It took quite a while experimenting and tweaking but eventually I taught myself, with the help of some friends, how to reproducible extract the substance from Mimosa Hostilis and how to safely administer it with some electric cigarette respectively vaporizer. After that I was truely taken down the rabbit hole and had some beautiful and interesting experiences with all kinds of visions and contact with entities of some kind. But I think this may be the topic for future reports.

The message soon become very clear: "Quit your job and do what you always wanted." Up to then I had worked 10 years of my life for a big insurance company as a software engineer. Although I do not regret a single day of that experience, for it made me more mature and sincere in the way I wanted to spend the rest of my life, I strongly felt during that time: change is coming and I cannot even think about getting myself in the way. My dream as a child was someday to become a web developer. Now I had the ressources and talent to further educate myself in that direction, all I was missing was a little courage. The entities of the DMT world clarified that I was on this path since my whole life and I will further be supported in times of need. The way this message was communicated and the persistency of it gave me the necessary assurance (or was it an insurance? :roll: ) that I will survive and maybe have the greatest adventure of my life coming. I told my employer of my descision and wished everybody farewell. It was surprisingly emotional, which I had not suspected.

Despite the many unkowns of that time and the fact that I did not really knew where I should start my way, I began my journey - which indeed seemed to become a multidimensional voyage into spaces of imagination. Along the way I made some great new friends and got support seemingly always in the right moment. After a subjectively really long time of pupation the dream finally seems to unfold it's wings. For that I am truely grateful.

But it wasn't always this sparkling. The doors of the psyche, after opening them for good, allow for different kinds of entities and personas to enter and have one to deal with them. A couple of months ago I started reading the dune saga by Frank Herbert, from what DMT got it's popular nickname and which enchanted me right away. Altough Herbert did not seem to have access to the DMT molecule, his descriptions of the trance state and it's peculiar effects on the psyche sometimes startingly match my own experiences. He also writes about some of the dark sides of it, and I have to admit that I observe these tendencies in myself from time to time, too. But having a word or story for something to pinpoint it's complexeties makes it easier to recognize and handle upcoming manifestations of the thing, so I am glad that he took the time and wrote about what he felt.

So to wrap up this introduction and to express some of the deep appreciation of the gifts I was given, I want to conclude my essay with a tiny little trip report, maybe as a foretaste of what's to come. The story started when on monday morning (two days ago) I woke up with a roaring pain in my back. My right shoulder was clenched and the tightness of it had itself worked up to my neck. My whole body seemed off balance and it gave me a hard time concentrating on my work. Nothing of my usual soothings (shakti mat, yoga, balms, etc.) helped and I got really frustrated. When the pain did not cease on the second day, I decided it was time for a trip into hyperspace to get anything out of there, whatever it might be. For I recognized some time ago, that my body becomes very soft and relaxed after some good DMT, because it really seems to be able to release unprocessed stuff that is building up tension inside. But because my boyfriend does not like it, when I do my travels during weektime in the evening when he has got to get up early in the morning, I postponed the experience just another night. That's when I found the thread mentionend earlier. In the morning my pains were as bad as ever and was eager to find out what is going on. I took some penganum harmalas on empty stomach, to make sure it gets the time it needs to purify, and we did some yoga and meditating. As soon as he left the house, I prepared myself for a little jump into hyperspace. I took two tokes from my GeekVape and surrendered to the experience. Immediatly I was hit hard by some terrifying visions that truely sacred the shit out of me. But after I got back my bearings I remebered the quite strong intention of this trip. I had wished to find out what was nagging me and I realized that it had been faithfully delivered. The next instant I checked my back to find out, that the cramp was gone. There still seemed to be a residue of pain, but it was the feeling of relief that dominated my body. Every muscle I checked was soft and easy. I felt that I could cry and said thanks to the higher powers that guided me through this experience. It's a bit of a shame, that I could not remember what exactly was going on, cause it could be helpful to prevent another situation like this. But intuitivly I knew, that I had to be more careful with myself and to not strain myself over limit so often. I promised myself to be more mindful and concluded the lesson with some yoga to solidfy this new feeling and ate breakfast.

It is really strange sometimes when I reflect about the chemics of DMT. On some days it takes as little a drop of it to blast myself out of reality and into some kind of interdimensional space with an ongoing experience. On some days literlly nothing happens. Today I got the exact amount of hyperspace to alleviate my pain, but not a single bit more. It was like the harmalas did not even work this time, because when I looked at the clock after I got back, there wasn't more than 10 min gone and I was perfectly clear again. It truely gives me the feeling, that the DMT system has it's own regulating mechanism integrated or that the entities themselves decide when it is a good time to explore and when it's not (I tend to think in terms of the latter). It always humbles me to discover, that I am really not the one in control of this journey. I may have to say one word or two about the direction or where to stop and marvel at the landscape, but effectively there seems to be a greater power than myself, steering the wheels of reality. In the end I always recognize my role as cocreator in this universe. I think most of us here met the gods of this realm and I am happy now to join the discussion and the exchange of experience with my fellow travelers.

So have a good day and bye for now.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Wonderful read! Thank you for sharing.

I think the vast majority of people here can attest to the transformative effects of DMT. For me it wasn't quite so quick of a change that it encouraged. I feel like it found me, and pushed it's way into my life. And when I was away from it (6 year hiatus), it scratched at the back of my mind constantly until I went out of my way to welcome it back. Your story was beautiful and I hope your new journey has been thrilling and beautiful. You took a big step!

I'm assuming your using the emesh. Do you weigh your doses? Curious because of your observation about relative effect. I find DMT to be an enigma, no matter how many times I do it. It always has curve balls, it always has something new to show, and if "they" really want you, they'll take you (have personally had a few instances of surprise breakthroughs on 15mg or less. And I double check my doses).

What other psychedelics, if any, interest you and why?

What extraction method is your preferred?

Do you prefer harmalas each time you journey? Are you vaporizing them, using them sublingual, ingesting them,, or infusing herbs to make changa?

Thank you again for your very thoughtful introduction.

One love

 

[CrazyAstronaut]

Hello Voidmatrix! I want to thank you for the nice greeting and reading of my essay. I have to admit, I got interested and read your essay, too. I guess there has happend a lot of time and growth since then? What did confuse me a bit, was the part about the two hits you took and the time until the substance seemed to get a hold on you. Was it really DMT or were you talking about LSD or something? If you were talking about DMT: sounds really like overstimulation what you did during the exprience for distraction. Do you still accompany your journeys with external entertainment or has that changed since then?

Me got the real strong message a week ago, that I should cease to distract myself with music and fancy lights in the room or anything like. I decided then I was ready to take the leap and to explore the silence a little bit more. This is what happend yesterday and I wasn't disappointed at all. It was really one of the most beatiful trips I had and surpisingly clear. Got two hours of visions and communication with different parts of myself and insights into parallel realities.
What is astounding: I really seldom get any of the multicoloured geometric shape kinds of experiences, one often finds on the internet. Even entities do present themselves less by sight than with some kind of multidimensional awareness, that gets transposed upon my ordinary consciousness as though there is a hidden layer, that is connected with everything else, but also simultaneously obscured by sensual perceptions. For me it usually feels like, that I am allowed admittance to a cosmic theatre, which is giving a show for my eyes only, resembling the final part of Hermann Hesses novel "Steppenwolf". How do you experience the time when you breakthrough?

When you say that it found you, what was that like? Did you have strange coincidences in your life or was it like a voice in the back of your head? In which ways did your life change since than?

About the mode of administration: I never heard about the emesh method, but after a quick search on the internet I got some youtube video to explain. It is true, that I am using a temperature controlled e cigarette mod, but the DMT is not vaporized in crystal form. I do disolve it in PG/VG and put it into a standard tank (Zeus Sub Ohm). I can put about 1g of DMT in there and then fire it at my leisure. This way I can continually stay in hyperspace for extended periods of time, without having to reload my device, which enables me to explore with few distractions. The drawback is obviously that one cannot easily measure the amount of DMT consumed, but for me this takes a subordinate role. Seems to feel like looking exessivly on the fuel meter while driving, than to fully experience the landscape ahead. When my the fuel is exausted, I simply make more.

Talking about fuel:
I usually always take the ride equipped with harmalas, because I find it wasteful to do it without. :lol: I really love to take my time and do not want to feel like in a hurry. Altough the yield of my extraction technique is quite satisfying, it still takes about two full days of repetetive work to make the spice. So I am careful not to squander it unnecessary. I just eat the penganum harmala seeds and wait about 30-60 min before inhaling the spice. Heard about extracting the harmalas, but it does not seem to me like a reasonable thing to invest my time into. Do you also use MAOIs?

Talking about extraction technique:
I do it the A/B way with filtering the solution to a clear liquid, before adding lye. Really like it clean and pure. Tried it one time with STB, but I just got a black gooey mass which swallowed nearly whole of my non polar solvent. Guess it takes more time doing it A/B, but I am feeling lot more confident in the process and the result doing it that way. For my solvent I solely use C7H16, aka Heptane, because of it's good stability when heated and apparently more pure result compared with benzine derivates. I also read here on the nexus about the way that adding salt to base liquid increases the amount of DMT that get's pushed into the non polar layer during the extraction. I can confirm the effectiveness of this technique and that it decreases the number of pulls you have to make until depletion of the mother liquor. With this technique I can realiable transmute at least 0,5% of the overall mass of the bark to nice little crystals. The last time I actually got 1% . Heard about people getting up to 2,5%, but I guess it depends on the one hand on the quality of the source material and on the other of the degree of shredding the material to fine powder, so that most of the DMT gets the opportunity to get absorbed. How much yield do you usually get and by what technique?

Psychedelics facinate me since about 4-5 years now. It all started with good old cannabis and escalated to the more notorious LSD about a year later. But the most transforming effects I did receive from psilocybe mushrooms, which helped me to cure myself from some long lasting mental distortions. It then took quite a while for me to become ready for the hyperspace and until the stars aligned for me to be able to fully take advantage of the experience.

Now it seems that DMT has become a good companion in my further journey, that I love to visit ever once in a while. The great mental freedom of the experience and the meaningful visions I receive stand truely remarkably for me and always happen to bring about a great and optimistic outlook on life and people in general. The interest in the other substances has diminished ever since, mostly because of the qualitative differences of the experience. For me DMT seems to outperform the other substances in terms of the induced clarity of mind and the more precise way of administration with inhalation. But I think I will still give them old friends a visit from time to time.

There is a substance I presently want to try out, that is to say Ketamine. It also seems to have mind altering and psychedelic qualities, but working them out in quite a different way. Hopefully I will get a hold on some of the substance in the next days. Then I will just have to wait, until my designated tripsitter finds the time to watch over me during the experience, cause I am not really sure what I will have to expect of it.

I always find it interesting to explore the inner workings of the mind and body system. Our scientists show us how to do, when they fire particles against each another at the speed of light and observe what happens at the moment of impact. In a way I feel the same about this psychedelic venture. It's like shaking the system and pushing it out of it's normal operating parameters. You never know what you will then find behind the curtain of surface existence. But isn't that exciting? At the current stage of my life I likewise hope to enhance my creative capabilities with the inspirations of this other world, which to me seems to be eager to push the boundaries of physical existance by itself.

What are your experiences with psychedelics?

I hope, that I haven't bored you with my reflections, but I cannot be helped when it comes to writing. :lol: Once I start and get into the flow I will ever stop only after everything is told. If you like, tell me more about your story and how you got influenced by this strange world.

Cheers.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Was not bored in the slightest. I am enjoying our interaction and think you write in a lovely manner.

I had forgotten about my introduction essay hahaha. Thanks for the reminder. And yes I was talking about LSD. That turned out to be a very odd experience so seemed appropriate. It depends on how I'm feeling whether I engage with entertainment or not. When tripping (LSD or psilocybin) I like to meditate and listen to music the most allowing my mind to emerge into a new space commonly filled with philosophic musings, sometimes lying on the floor in the middle of my room. I find video games exploratory and catalyzing. Sometimes a movie sounds good, giving me concepts to interact with. I'll occasionally challenge myself and watch a horror movie while tripping. With DMT it's different though. Usually music or silence and I don't turn anything on that's visually stimulating.

That does sound extremely beautiful. Since you don't commonly get geometric visuals, what kinds of visuals do you have? I think many talk about geometric forms because it's one of the easier aspects to describe in such an alien experience. I also get disembodied entities in whatever space they bring me to (like last night).

I have had multiple kinds of time distortions, and sometimes multiple ones in the same experience. Sometimes at the same time, which I know sounds odd. An example would be a general timelessness that resides under a faster flow of time and I can notice both. Those kinds of experiences can be tiring.

It was introduced to me by a few friends that were very adamant about my trying it after hearing about my ridiculousness on mushrooms (at the time, whenever I ate mushrooms, I'd always eat 7g or more). They wanted to know what I'd see, what would come to me, how I'd handle it, and what information I'd bring back. My first three experiences were in the same night. From those experiences I had somewhat felt that I was supposed to have that experience. It was a feeling, but also came from insights from entities and spaces I had traveled to. I actually felt a little bit of pressure in regards to "my responsibility in the world" from the spice. It's a little hard to describe without being direct, but it's something I play close to the chest and don't directly tell many about.

Since then (and my hyperslap) it's scratched at the back of my mind. It came back into my life about 5 years ago (I felt it calling), and have since been working intently in my relationship with it. I learn and get a lot from it and try to give it and "them" what I can. It helps me philosophically, psychologically, spiritually, and more. I'm currently in an experiment phase to see how it helps me manage reverse seasonal affective disorder.

Sounds like you have a great vaporization method set up for your preferences and that's great. It can take many a while to figure out the best way for them.

I love harmalas. I've been making changa with extracted harmalas from caapi (harmine), but had my first experience with rue tea (harmaline) and the Spice last night. Epic. I sometimes like to do just DMT still. I find something special about that. But generally I use harmalas in some way more often than not.

Which specific A/B tek are you using. And good for you on experimenting with multiple ones. From the sounds of it you're doing really well, and for that I'm glad. You seem to be getting great yields and quality. Percentage often does depend on the factors you've stated. I generally get a 1% yield and that pleases me. I am pretty loyal to Cyb's Max Ion tek. And my extractions take about a week. I like taking my time as I see it as an alchemical process that I cherish and grow through.

I love how you called LSD notorious lol. I feel similarly. I understand the position, preferring DMT over many other types of psychedelics. There is truly something remarkable about spice that many others can't seem to measure up to. I will always be a mushroom head, but DMT has the majority of my commitment presently. I find it amazing to blast off while on mushrooms. But that's just me.

Many seem interested in ketamine. Please share your experience with us if you do end up trying. I've never done it, and despite encouragement (a handful of people think I'd really enjoy it) for one reason or another I'm not inclined to seek it out. If it comes my way from a trusted source I may give it a shot.

And yes, it is quite amazing. I use the spice to help me creatively as well. Mainly music and philosophy. It's also been a big help in managing my depression (so do beta carbolines), and I find it character building, changing aspects of my behavior and character.

My experiences with psychedelics is both broad and varying. I started with cannabis, then mushrooms, then DMT, then LSD, then 2cb, followed by san pedro. I haven't had a deep experience with san pedro yet, but intend to soon. And this summer will be my first time experiencing pharmahuasca. I used to trip really hard way back when, but certain mental afflictions have me at a stage now where I'm working back up to that level. Our own minds have plenty of monkey wrenches to throw at us in life lol.

Well, I just made some rue tea, which I'm going to drink and then nap. Thank you for your reply. I'm enjoying our interaction.

One love

 

[CrazyAstronaut]

I am glad you said that, because I begin enjoying it myself! Until now I hadn't got the opportunity to talk about this subject very often, because most of my friends are not into this kind of experience, which sometimes feels like being on a lonesome adventure. But then again I also feel like, there has to be a multitudinous amount of people going into this kind of journey and raising questions about the nature of reality along the way, which are not easy to answer. Therefore I think it's a good thing to connect and share experiences, trying to figure out what's going on.

Yeah I remember myself watching some episodes of Dragon Ball Super a couple of years ago while tripping on LSD. This was during a time, when my character wasn't really solid by itself and it seemed then, that I could integrate some of the characteristics that I liked more easily into myself. My cousin told me some time later, that I seemed to behave a bit like the main character of the series sometimes ( kamehameha! ). I think that was the time, when I discovered the true flexibility of creating the person I like and how successfully change parts of it.
From the programmers point of view I started to look at my psyche as some kind of complicated source code. But that raised another question: Who was it, that looked?

Another time I watched the movie Coraline together with a friend and while tripping on LSD. It was about a little girl who moved into a new house, but soon discovered some kind of parallel reality after slipping thorugh a tunnel, where some kind of entity wanted to lure her into replacing her eyes with buttons. Apart of that the movie by itself was trippy, for me it beared a strong resemblance of how some drugs, especially opiates, interacted with ones psyche. After that I had to revise my use of Kratom and stopped it immediately.

A computer game I loved to play was called "Creaks". It was about a dude who discovered in the backwall of his room a tunnel (yeah, the patter does not seem that original, haha), which led him into a labyrinthine arragement of chambers that were part of some gigantic spooky and steampunk structure. Because his way back into his own world was blocked presently, he had to push forward into a mysterious world of furniture, which happend to change form when illuminated by a light source and when not. You progressed through the game by solving puzzles, but I was enamored by some truely marvelous artwork. The last time I played and finished it altogether was after I took some 2C-B, which enhanced the already immersive experience about some degrees of magnitude and made me feel like I am inside of some child's nightmare, who was looking at the features of it's home and creating all kinds of little stories. The end was staged in such a beatiful way, that it touched me to tears. That experience had made a lasting impressing on me and I was very grateful for it. After that, I thought that the creative artists behind that game, surely had to be travelers by themselves. That game reeked of psychedelic. :want:

So I can only assert, that creative works can be very inspiring to look at while being in a expanded state of consiousness! Have you made some similar experiences by yourself?

For DMT it is a whole different thing. Music can be inspiring, but after some attempts to do it while watching something on a screen, it felt really that I should never do such a thing. I discovered digital screens by themselves, can look a good deal awkward while having some DMT, when I only took a little hit at some occaisions to enhance creative thinking. Text became nearly hard to decipher and smaller that with usual vision. Additionaly I sensed my PC having some kind of consiousness during that occaisons, which I had found a bit scary. But then again: A lot of objects of my surroundings seem to have an inbuild or projected kind of consiousness that can communicate with me, when I am going after some Divine Moments of Truth. These encounters are usually insomuch alien, that I find them hard to remember afterwards.

Now about my visions.
When I was having my first experiences with DMT in late 2020, I can still remember having these weired colorful and magnificient views of geometric worlds and shapes. I seldom found, that I can deduct a lot of meaningful information out of them, but I still wanted to keep trying to learn to navigate in that space. After having had a certain number of experiences, it slowly shifted into a visionary state where I was seeing scenes, mostly of highly symbolic nature, which were infused with meaning.
For example one time I saw a picture of some ordinary reality and soon after it was ripped apart, but not in the usual 3-dimenional style, but it opened up and revealed that there were hidden dimensions inside our usual physical objects which made up our universe. I cannot remember anyone telling me that, but it was a instant knowing at that moment.
Another example, which happend some days ago: I was deep inside the trance and at some point I found myself like in the mind of some highly creative entity. I cannot really describe what I saw, for I think it was again highly symbolic, but I can clearly convey what was happening. At the moment my friend struggles with a lot of personal anxiety and a general indecisive outlook to his life. The place I found myself was over some kind of typewriter or empty book and I felt what I can only describe as writers block. I knew instintivley that this was all about my friend and I asked what I can do. In thins moment it really felt like I could fill the empty pages by myself, what I found astonishing.
Some time ago I had a vision in which I lived in another dimension and was told, that I had the ability to enter other peoples mind or dreams, a bit like in the movie Inception. But in that dimension there was war and I was a soldier expected of dedicating my abilities to warfare. As soon as I realized that as a wrongful act, I went renegade and fled the battlefield.

I think every vision has to be taken with a grain of salt and we should be careful not to interpret them in a too literal way. But oftentimes I find, that these visions seem to correspond with my surroundings in intriguing ways and try to give me some insights into matters of life or to directly motivate me into action.

Suppose these geometrical images are some kind of "raw information" that is being transmitted during the trip (or maybe everytime?) and getting picked up by our non-physical senses. My current speculation is, that after a time of training, my brain shifted it's mode of perception and tried instead to present these information in a metaphorical or allegorical way, that may be easier for my mind to comprehend. Maybe that is also true for our dreams we are having at night. The advantage I see here, is that with DMT we can have what is called a lucid dream quite instantly and without having to train our consciousness to recognize the dream state during the night.

Do you have a good memory of your dreams? I have to admit, they always fascinated me and for about the same reasons as psychedelics. Aren't these strange windows into different worlds?

I think I know these time distortions that you talk about. On some occaisions I felt like having arrived in some timeless dimensions, where everything already happend. Or I became a statue and perceived the flow of time out of it's perspective. These experiences are also prone to happen to me while tripping on mushrooms, but with DMT I encounter them also from time to time. Usually I tend to quite enjoy this mode of existence, but I still remember one "time", I think I was mao inhibited a good deal, when after a couple of tokes it felt like I reached the "end of time" or was outside of time and looking at it. I wasn't really experienced with the substance then and it was quite frightening. I was really glad on my return.

For me the messages can be somewhat direct too. I remember one time, when I was told about quiting my job and being supported, etc. - the speaker found it necessary to point out that after having been given quite some freedom to shape my life, that also came with a big deal of responsibility towards the world. If I were ever found to exploit this power or to use it in selfish ways, they would not refrain from destroying me. It wasn't exactly been told how this destruction may look like, but a gradual loss of support should eventually amount to this result. I am not sure if this should be understood as a personal threat of some entity, but more of a general lesson for life: The way you behave towards the world, it will faithfully mirror back to you.

I think after all I am using the same technique as you do, although I usally skip the defatting step. Just not giving it a name anymore, because in the end I found myself taking everything that works out of all the teks possible while creating my own. Love how you relating to it as a alchemical process, because for me it surely is! Do you know about the "opus magnum" or "magnum opus"? Traditionally there are four steps to create the philosopher's stone and each is associated with a distinct color (black, white, yellow and red). While in the process of my first extractions, I remembered the legend about it and saw, that there were alle the colors of DMT extraction in it (although in a different order):

red = bringing the MHRB into acid
black = after basifying
yellow = crystals with some impurites
white = pure DMT after recrystalization

If you ask me, DMT could be called the philosophers stone, without too much exaggeration.

I guess I could write on forever :lol: , but I am getting tired now. So one question still:
In which way would you distinguish the combination of DMT+Mushrooms over each substance alone? Sometimes I tried this combo, but it felt, that the shrooms made me a lot more dizzy, that having the DMT only (or with some harmalas). I really like the clear-mindedness of the DMT and it feeling mostly natural, like dreaming feels itself. Maybe this is, because after all it really is an endogenous substance. Wouldn't surprise me a lot.

Good Night!

 

[Voidmatrix]

Sorry for the late reply (I try to reply quickly), but our conversation is dense in the sense that we're exchanging a lot of dialogue. I wanted to sit down and respond to you in one go so as to keep track of what I want to say and deliver authenticity.

My primary presence here is due to not having many I can discuss these kinds of things with. I know people that do psychedelics, but because of my devotion and commitment to DMT, I have a hard time finding people to talk about certain particulars with. This forum has sorta become my happy place as of late lol. It's refreshing.

Also, it's good to know that I'm talking to Goku:grin: Just stay away from my food lol. Part of me wants to trip and watch all of GT (haven't gotten into Super). I think many take traits from others to augment themselves personally, whether "real" or fictional [individuals]. I have interests in code and programming and find myself also using metaphors from those fields to share ideas about my mind.

Relative to the question, "Who was it, that looked?" I have a short story for you. My first time smoalking changa, at the apex of the come up, my head rose out of what could best be described as clouds. It then opened up, and I walked out. In this instance, I had three perspectives simultaneously: the perspective from only the head, the perspective of me walking out, and the disembodied perspective that was viewing the other two. They were all me:d .

Tell me more about the realization you had about the impacts of other drugs on the psyche brought about by Coraline. I also love that movie and almost only watch it when I'm tripping (usually mushrooms).

I enjoy gaming on psychedelics sometimes. Many times when I am coming up on mushrooms, I'll play Wipeout HD. It's a futuristic racing game with hover vehicles and cool weapons. The tracks are beautifully lit and dynamic, and the music changes according to where one is on the track. So if one drives through a tunnel or off of a jump, the music augments to fit the context. One of my favorite games. It's pretty intense too. A couple summers ago, I tripped every weekend as a therapeutic experiment and played Horizon Zero Dawn as a tool to explore psychological issues. I don't know if you've heard of or played this game, but it's become one of my favorites. It's set 1000 years (per the game, some speculate it would be more) in the future, and you play as an orphan girls with a mysterious past, that was born in a mountain. During the journey, she discovers who she is and where she comes from while saving the world from a malevolent AI. Humanity has gone backwards, living in a more archaic manner (because of the plot, I don't want to give too much away since you may play it). Given your programming background, I think this game would be up your alley.

Another game that I love and you may find of interest is FEZ. You play as a 2D character in a rotating 3d world that allows for paradoxical movement to move throughout the game. For example, say you are on a platform that has a doorway on it and is across the way from another platform that's too far for you to jump. You can rotate the screen to walk through the door, and then rotate back to be on the platform that you couldn't jump to. It's a puzzle platformer game with beautiful settings and wonderfully subtle but beautiful music. Most of the time, if I'm tripping while playing this, I'm not even trying to beat the game, but just moving around in the world.

I need to look up Creaks!

I learned from my first time to not be attached to anything visual outside of the experience. The one exception is my ceiling. While on Spice I see so many magnificent things on that stucco ceiling lol. I like music, but nothing with discernable lyrics. It seems to impede messaging from hyperspace. But one of my go-tos is "You Can See Forever" by Desert Dwellers. There's a variety of remixes that I enjoy in my experience too. And noticing potential consciousness in things we don't usually attribute to such could be termed animism. I experience it too. Divine Moments of Truth was the first song I ever blasted off to, so has a sacred place in my heart haha.

In some ways I share some of the same details of your experiences with my own. I have found that there won't always be a message to bring back, but rather just an augmentation to our minds by the experience. Part of me is thankful when there isn't some huge message or anything to decipher because that means there isn't a lot to integrate and I can take off again sooner. If I feel there's a substantial amount to integrate, I'll back off until I've processed everything.

And I wholly agree that we should tread lightly with the messages we get from beyond. I'm a philosophic skeptic, so operate under many different potentialities when analyzing my experiences. But I too experience information that is pertinent to my pragmatic life.

I do remember my dreams. Since childhood, I've always noticed I'm dreaming, regardless of amount of control in dreaming. My perspective, dreams are endemic to us, but psychedelics very well may connect our minds to something external to them. I just them so different.

They happen to me on mushrooms too! I actually enjoy time distortions, even thought they throw me off every time haha. I've had several experiences where I experience a higher subset of time, similar to polytopes in higher dimensions.

I enjoy studying esoterism and am familiar with the Opus Magnum. And I love the observation! Just a general note, yellow spice does not always have impurities, sometimes it's just yellow (you won't believe the number of discussions about that on this forum lol). But I'd call it the Philosopher's Stone as well. Water is the elixir of life for me, but that could be because I'm a little bit of a gym rat lol.

I find, while on mushrooms, and deciding to blast off, that there's a bit more control and freedom of the DMT experience. I also need less DMT. I find the overlay of both experiences exquisite. It's interesting you get dizzier. Why do you think that is?

Have some stuff to take care of before getting ready for bed. But I hope Monday treated you well.

One love

 

[CrazyAstronaut]

You have nothing to feel sorry for! This conversation developed into a quite multifaceted exchange, indeed, and I am glad that you engage into it equally, for I did not expect that degree of interest into the ideas of a newcomer. You convince me of the opposite.

So for myself it took me quite a while to answer partly because of this said substantial challenge, partly because other matters of life happend to get in the way. As I told you earlier, I do my work as a freelancing software engineer. With that comes a great freedom to choose the time to work and when to stop working. Naturally this necessitates a considerable amount of responsibility to gauge how many hours a day are well invested into a clients project and how many hours I should invest into myself and others around me. More often than not I tent to give my time away for a clients project more easily than to do something not IT-related. But that is for one thing because of my status as a newcomer in my business and for another thing because I really like what I do. I can loose myself in it. But there lays a danger here, that for what I think is characteristic for our human condition. What I am doing now, maybe out of necessity, will automatically morph into a habit after some time, if I would not care to observe myself closely. More time will pass and I may forget the reason about why I am working over hours. The business may be going well, but probably there would be this feeling, that keeps telling me that it is not enough and I should do more. I bet now you know what I am getting at. The thing is: We all loose ourselves in routines sometimes, that once served us good and well to be sure, but after conditions changed and sometimes a lot, may have gotten quite hazardous to ourselves. Now have we really asked ourselves the question, as a species not talking about individually anymore, what is actually wrong with us, that we keep on running, when there seems nothing to run from anymore? :surprised

That is a question, for that I am trying to find an answer right now and with the daily actions of my life. After all, we seem to be some kind of hard to define but super connected life form and along with my personal questing I hope others will join the cause and help to figure it out.

At the end of this journey I suspect lies a place or configuration if you like, that finally found a balance, that is good for itself on the one hand, but also fitting to the needs of others without conflict. I hope that this then will radiate out and "infect" other people, this way forming a stable relationship that is capable of supporting itself againts influences of contradicting belief.

Do you know what I am talking about or have you ever felt this way about making decisions for yourself in front of the bigger picture?


I hope this little digression has not been too far off. :roll:

Back to the topic at hand. I love the idea of walking out of oneself and your description it. During my journeys it happend quite a lot, that I was taken to a place or rather to a perspective where I seemed to be able to observe everything from some kind of higher ground. I sensed being a part of myself, that could not activley take part into my daily living the way I do (even if it wanted to!) and watched the unfolding of life out from a quite different point of view. I am sure there is nevertheless quite some work there to do and I suspect that this could be the part of me, that is activley watching out, while having a greater overview of time and space, like the sailor in the Crow's nest of my vessel, and tries to communicate what it sees to me during the daytime with small intuitions and feelings and during triptime with some more sophisticated visions.

Tell me: Did you find out more about the relationships of these different perspectives that were all you?

About Coraline: I only watched this movie once and it impregnated itself into my mind with the clear message: be aware of anything that tries to steal you vision! :!: :lol: What is it, that you see in that movie? Do you yet discover new strands of meaning after you saw it that often?

Thank you for the recommendation about Horizon Dawn. After reading your description I thought that it really rang a bell and discovered, that someone already told me about that game some time ago! I recognized the basic framework with the AI and humankind living in an archaic manner. Though funnily he emphazied parts of the game differently. How did you play it in a therapeutic way and was the experiment successful?
It sometimes saddens me, that I do not find the time to play games nowadays, like I sometimes wished I could, for there are quite some games I have on a list, I really would love to play. I think I will put this one onto that list and may will return to it on some lovely rainy day.

FEZ I do know. I played it a couple of years ago, but then I could not get my head around these strange and mysterious riddles. :lol: But I always remebered it for the atmosphere and the innovative game design. By the way, I even thought about that game a couple of days before you told me about it, basically out of nowhere. These little moments when you really fail to be able to determine if that was a case of coincidence or some deeper roots surfacing.

But for the rescue: I am developing a little game myself at the moment, so I do spend a lot of time with gaming after all. :roll: :d Admittedly it's for a client, but already I put my heart and soul into it.

Can you make an example for some of the things you do see in your stucco ceiling? :d Sometimes I find it really amusing what one is about to witness with his or her eyes open during a trip. Not always do I succeed in recognizing anything in it, but I always marvel how the vision manages to morph the objects of my surroundings into meaningful new composiitions. I probably will never forget the time, actually it was just a mounth ago, when I tripped two days after my 30th birthday. On my wall there is a huge corkboard full of little notes and images. With the light and everything somehow it suddenly looked like someone had arraged it into a letter-garland wishing me "happy birthday". That moment had genuinely moved me to tears!

Usually I do my trips after sunset and during nighttimes, because for me that feels more naturally. But on a few occaisons I was with a friend in a forest, respectivley a botanical garden, so not that too far from civilization after all. After the second hit each time, I didn't really got into my usual visions, but instead had to look at a marvelous transformation of the trees and plants all around me. Because some of the colors had shifted into another spectrum and that was a so realistic optical alteration, that I was totally astounished. The second time though it was little frightening actually. Because when I focused my attention onto my friend who was with me, I loooked into his face and what I saw seemed quite more extraterrestrial than usual. Apart from his skin looking way to blue for this kind of the year, his features apparently looked more elfish than human to me. I was literally speechless at this moment and could not figure anything to say for quite a while.

Now I am curious: What is the time of day, when you usually leave your good old skin behind? Talking about DMT specifically, do you prefer to do it indoors or do you have some nice place outside to blast off? Does it make any difference to you?

It sounds like you have found a good balance between your intersteller adventures and your daily matters, and that you show reverence to the experience. Was this the case like from the beginning, or did you had to learn it the hard way sometimes? I do share your ethusiastic vibe about going into the trance frequently. It looks like the higher power of my being is in accord, when sometimes I use the designated trip time in a more playful way. Not always there are messages of big demands. Then I may float around in my hallucinogenic state and can explore on about my own speed. These are usually the times, when I can remember the experience best, because there seems to be less alien influence in them for sure. May I ask, how often it is, that you put on the space suit - so to speak?

Measuring it in the amount of novelty and the persistency in message topics sometimes, psychedelic trips seem quite a bit different from regular dreams of night to me. The latter being often a bit scattered in it's symbolism and at least for me most of the time jolly peaceful. Therefore I would basically agree with you in that. Only basically, because not all dreams are the same to me. Sometimes, sadly this happens reaaaally seldom (or I just keep forgetting it every night :lol: ), I remember dreams, that seem to feel like an intrusion into my psyche. Of beings that simply did't feel like they belong to where I saw them and with an vitality, that lifted them above the usual crowd of dream characters. They usually interact with me in a right direct way. Can you recount like occurances yourself? Do you still notice when you are dreaming and if yes: what do you make out of that?

Actually I know about the discussion and don't think yellow spice as an impurity. It just fitted more to the story I told myself at that time, to assume it impure. :? I usually always get lightly yellow tinted powder after my first pull and do not consider it as bad quality - quite the opposite! - nor do I care about recrystalization. Only when the liquid is near depletion and more of the oily remnants get pulled into the NPS, it seems obvious, that there might be some stuff in there, that isn't pure DMT anymore. Doesn't seem to want form good crystals, either. :thumb_dow

Honestly I haven't figured it out yet, why the shrooms seem to throw me a little bit more off than with pure DMT alone. Had one really strange trip while staying at a friends house though, where I ate a ton of mushrooms and even had some syrian rue with it. Since after the first dose, I didn't feel very mush (<- first typo, than: haha ^^), I quickly doubled. The first thing I noticed was, while beeing quite lucid otherwise, that I was unable to form coherent sentences with my mouth anymore. Up to this point I could still think what I wanted to convey, but finding it near impossible to articulate felt very frustrating. Turned out, I underestimated the mushrooms on this fateful evening, for their impact seemed to came in unprecedented waves this time. After I were fully immersed in what I had thrown myself into, I was going to find out how it feels like being shattered and smashed into the ground. It took a great amount of willpower to pick up again the pieces and to restructure my mind. That truely was one of the most terrifying trips I ever had. Since that it may be, that my relationship to the mushroom is a little bit difficult. But that doesn't mean it has to be forever! When summertime is back, I certainly will try my luck again - hopefully in nature - to restore my faith in the great little catalysts.

Hopefully, today will be the day of my first try on ketamine. I am highly curious! Will try to remember most of it to write a good report of it afterwards.

So take care my friend and hear you soon.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Hey! I'm back. Took a little time for myself

I often wonder if we "run" when there's no need as a function of more primitive parts of our brains in conjunction with our level of sapience; it's always a struggle. I know I personally deal with it, so much so, it's actually paralyzing! Nevertheless, I commend and congradulate you again on being your own boss and following your passion and dreams. Tell me about the game you're designing for your client. What other types of projects do you work on for clients?

I find balance to be similar to moderation; everything in moderation including moderation. I do experience this and am out of balance in the sense that I do not do enough for myself. Anything that I desire to do tends to necessitate some altruistic motive that extends outside myself. Too "selfless" if you will, and am learning to balance selflessness with selfishness lol.

Your description of multiple perspectives hits the nail on the head. Now for what connections I made with the three mes was nothing of a surprise since I already operate under one idea that the self is a multifaceted plurality and not what we think it is. It was almost as if the Spice was like, "Hey, watch this." It tends to do that. There isn't always a lot of information to extract anymore (they've shown and told me so much already, perhaps they feel I need a break), they just kind of create spaces for me to exist in for a period of time and spend some of that time with me (if they so choose and if they feel that company would do me well). There's often times when a space is created, and some other mind is there, and they may briefly show themselves, but otherwise leave me to my own volition. This can happen on any level of experience.

I haven't watched Coraline in a few years, but something new always pops up. I think the main lesson I get and sometimes in different ways, is, what you want may not be what's best for you and to be weary of what seems to good to be true. DO you intend to watch it again?

How did your friend emphasize the game? So the experiment was successful in the sense that I was able to make sense of a great deal, but unsuccessful in that I realized for a longer lasting therapeutic benefit, my frequency would have to increase. I had been doing this only once a week, and twice probably would've been more beneficial and productive. I feel I rarely have time for video games anymore as well. It's a good detachment though and I feel I really should make a little time for it at the very least. Depending on how one plays, there can be added benefits like, improved problem solving, increased motor skills, etc.

There are somethings that are coincidence, but I'd call that synchronicity lol.

Okay, the birthday garland! Fabulous! I'd cry too. What other describable musings come to you with your eyes open? My ceiling has been waves of replicating and morphing geometric forms, some appearing to be in a higher dimension. Entity faces will briefly pop up. But it's mostly hyperspace stuff projected onto a medium other that my eyelids.

Have you seen colors that you've never seen before in hyperspace? A botanical garden experience sounds absolutely wonderful. I may have to try to do similarly, really early when it opens and barely anyone is around. Low dose of course. And it sounds like the Elves abducted your friend! What did they say in response if you told them? Trees are one of my favorite things to observe on any psychedelic. I could probably watch a video of just tree pictures for the whole journey. I usually abandon my skin suit in the late afternoon, mainly due to timing. After work, I'm usually at least two hours fasted, most often more, it's a good way to deload after work before engaging other endeavors, and my anxiety about it goes away. Any given session is usually planned earlier in the day or the day before, so I deal with my anxiety about roughly that entire span of time. I do that on purpose to force better management of anxiety:twisted: . My preference however is to disembark at night. Hyperspace forces seem stronger at that time. And how often tends to change. There will be whole months where I don't touch it. Then there will be weeks that I do it everyday. Occasionally, more than once in a day. That's rare though. I for some reason, have not had an extended session, where I would, say, pack a large bowl of changa, and just keep smoking it until it's gone. I think, that with my changa pipe, that sort of endeavor would take at least a couple hours. Just gotta work myself up to it and make the time. As of late, I have been reestablising my relationship with the molecule and only breakthrough "by accident." I prefer to say, "when they wanna take me," because I've broken through on absurdly low doses (like 10mg).

You're right IME, there isn't always heavy messaging, and to me, that's completely fine. It's still medicinal and valuable. I had respect from the beginning, but reverence came after my fifth experience that induced a six year hiatus. I was taken to a very dark place, with very nefarious entities that I didn't know how to manage. The fourth time, towards the end, I was told to ease back on DMT. The fourth and fifth excursions were in the same sitting... I am learning from the Spice to loosen up, and so have found myself more playful in the space too. I usually worry that there will be a perception of disrespect. But that's something else the Spice is teaching me (sometimes telepathically yelling it); worry less. Be aware, concerned if necessary, but not worried. How about you; how often are you exploring?

All of my dreams feel like something is intruding haha! I always know I'm dreaming, but for me, controlling that space never comes. I'm a victim to it. And mine a rarely pleasant. At best, really damn weird haha. It's not something that bothers me like it used to when I was younger. It's odd to me how much I am able to remember some of them given that I'm a regular cannabis user. What are some common themes in your dreams? My experience makes me wonder how much of our dreams are just in our heads, and how much may be something more...:roll:

Goo has a special place in my heart. My extracted crystals are glorious to me, but I have had some utterly stupendous experiences with goo. It's kind of a different playing field, and encourage trying it out. My first several times were all goo experiences. Explains some of my bias for it. When I extract from acacia, re-x or not, it's always yellow. And do do the defat.

Mushrooms are enigmatic little tikes. I think that's what I love about them, but damn, they can throw one for a loop. However you're one who is willing to do the work when mushies present it to you, so you really have nothing to worry about IMO. That's what they do. I find them more emotive by nature as well. I've heard of people having similar experiences to yours regarding conceptualization to vocalization difficulties, but that's never happened to me. I'd just start meditating if it did, really looking at that parameter of the experience. I am glad you intend to give them another shot. Will you do them next time without harmalas?

How'd the ketamine go (if you were able to try it)?

Look forward to hearing from you. Be well.

One love

 

[CrazyAstronaut]

Hello Voidmatrix! It's been quite a while since the last message, but don't think that I have forgotten you. Since the last post of mine required a couple of hours to compose I just couldn't find the time to answer you properly yet. Personally I don't fear continuing this conversation publicly, but I feel it would be more satisfactory for me to do this in a more lively fashion. So would you like talk sometime with the help of some auditory enhanced messaging system, in other words: to telephone directly?

I would prefer to PM you with this proposal, but since I am still not being promoted to a full membership after answering as many as hundreds of this questionaire queries, I am not allowed to do so yet. Do you know of a way to speed up that process or can you vouch for me that I can get that promotion?

Happy being.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Lol based on the depth of our interaction, I wasn't worried. Life is busy, and we each share a lot per post. Based on the rule here (found in attitude page) it may be unwise for either of us to share such information.

However, if you like, we can set up a time to meet in the chat and converse more fluidly.

Let me know your thoughts as I think it could be fun and a great connection

I will also be sure to assess your questionnaire and vote accordingly. An adjunct to the questionnaire that will help promote you faster is interactions in other threads around the forum. Share you experiences, current projects, anything about sustainability, questions you may have etc.

I hope you're doing well and it's good to hear from you. Or maybe seeing you in a way since I'm reading this.

One love