sorry for the long one...i chopped a bunch out to not put the hurt on your poor eyeballs.... in short, i had three powerful journeys the other day during a L.O.V.E. gathering. i will share the two that rocked me to my fundament...
JOURNEY #1:
looking back, this journey has solidly confirmed my belief that DMT is best worked with at what i would call a 'level 1 breakthrough'. this is the breakthrough that gets you through the geometry and into the worlds, beings and visions BUT does not remove your sense of self. it takes a bit of work to consistently reach this degree of depth without under or over-shooting it, but once you've figured out your accurate dosage and technique it is truly the 'sweet spot' with this gift that is DMT.
i was exactly in this place with one solid hit of the pipe. what i saw was profound AND i was able to speak through the most educational portion of it. IM and Neuro were able to discuss with me all of the finer points upon my return and for that i am eternally grateful. the journey's highlights were as follows:
i was in a pyramid or some other large stone structure. i was a child. i stood with an old man (my father?) above what appeared to be a stone bathtub that was filled with water. interestingly, though i was in a stone structure and a deep part of my psyche had already affixed "Egypt" to this scenario, the environment was literally saturated with moisture. water everywhere. in bowls, in basins, the walls of the stones....water everywhere...
i was clad in a loincloth and i could see the rectangular light that was a doorway leading to outside of the building i was in. a man walked toward me/us and - though large (impossibly large) stones blocked his direct path- he pushed them aside like we would do with curtains today. the stones simply moved as if they were weightless and it was done without a second thought...
in my mind there, i simply knew that the WATER had something to do with this...and it all made perfect sense to me...
and now i was outside of the structure. it was, in fact, a pyramid. i have been here so many times throughout my work with the molecule. never this slowed down and accessible though....it was as if i was truly allowed to live for a moment in this place. to explore and to know what it was like...
and here is where i will sadly fall short in my desperate attempt to convey a gift so precious and profound...
i am standing in a great courtyard outside of this pyramidal structure. the pyramid looks smooth and perfect....absurdly so....like the great pyramid of the giza plateau. and yet, it is SO lush and fecund here. i simply know, in the way that we all just know while in contact with the oneness of hyperspace, that i am NOT in the central-americas. i KNOW that i am where Egypt is now....but long before....long before even the most preposterous alternative egyptologists would suggest civilization ever existed there. 20, 30, 40+ thousand years ago...this was another world..and yet...undeniably THIS world.
it is night-time and the stars are so bright and so much a part of the field of my vision that my vision itself is skewed. the physical landmarks that are on the ground are almost a direct mirror of the stars that are directly above. they are palpable. they are not something 'up there'...they are the completion of a sphere of consciousness that envelops me.
and then it happens... :shock:
i see geometry. it is not a little like when a breakthrough begins, it is EXACTLY like that...except....the geometry is formed by the stars above and the structures on the earth below. there are lines made of light....circles made of light....they form prisms...cubes within cubes....tesseracts of another dimension.
and i am standing directly amid all of this.
there is no time...no space...there is only the cubes, cylindes, cones, orbs that infinitely connect and intersect. there is no distance between things. the constellations above me are as close to me as the pyramid just a few meters in front of me. i am in all places and all times. this is where i am. this is where i am now. i understand the bigger picture. it is not the 'biggest' picture (somehow i am made aware that there are even deeper connections and dimensions), but for now my mind is thoroughly rapt. i am home and my home just expanded by what seems like infinity.
i had this journey a handful of days ago and i feel it's 'realness' and relevance now as clearly as when it was happening. there is something happening. something coming. it is profound and it is so much more in accordance with the everything that surrounds us than the world we currently have limited ourselves with. in our over-emphasis on the self, we have cut ourselves off from something so much more expansive and vast.
i personally believe that an 'opportunity' to once again begin viewing life in this massive scope is upon us. i do believe that focussed, responsible work with DMT is a powerful way to see this shift coming and to prepare for it. not the only way..but an undeniably legitimate option...
JOURNEY #2:
in almost 1,300 journeys i have never gone 'too far'... i would say that at least 75-80% of my journeys have been full-fledged breakthroughs, but of all those maybe 6 have been what i would call a 'level 3 ego-death' breakthrough. for most, just one of these is enough to last a lifetime....and i am like most in this respect. though the seeming DNA-upgrade and realigning that has taken place during these grand-daddies is truly a gift, they are harrowing and require a LOT of time to integrate and process...
i had my 7th. i am glad to have had my brothers there with me because, in truth, it was just slightly more than i could handle.
there is a 'tickle' in my lungs that i get when i take a breakthrough hit. no joke- i simply know when it's going to be a legitimate breakthrough when i feel that little tickle at the end of a deep, long hit. it didn't surprise me at all to learn quite recently that DMT receptors are found in large concentrations in....your....lungs....
so when an enormous plume of white vapor began to form almost from the onset of my lighting the torch, i knew this hit was going to be huge. and it was. and the tickle came early...with an enormous amount of vapor still left to clear out of the pipe.
which i did. :shock:
i was dead. i expanded and disintegrated and continued to disintegrate. each atom dissoving into an infinte number of smaller particles and each one of those doing the same....infinitely.
i was never coming back. i was only going to keep expanding and expanding until...well....i do not know....
i got scared. this was my first true taste of DMT terror. i didn't even understand the concept of language, but i remember early on trying to say 'yes' simply to shift the fear into a positive vibration.
the word yes was simply a triangular shape that broke into three pieces and fell like colored rain. language made no sense. sense made no sense. this was a complete untethering from any left-brain vestige that might have stowed-away on my hyperspace craft. i was completely in the flow of the right-brain and the infinite ocean of creativity. i had died....
and i stayed dead forever.
when i had gone, i was sitting in a chair in my meditative posture. the minute i even remotely had any kind of awareness of anything at all (it honestly felt like i was a gas slowly becoming a liquid slowly becoming a solid), i fell forward in a heap onto my bed. face down. drool pouring from my mouth. i could not speak...i could not think...i was still vastly gone and it would be another lifetime before i could even pick my utterly flaccid body upright and begin the arduous process of becoming a human again.
i'm sure that on some level a breakthrough of this magnitude is important and good....but i still haven't found that 'level'. in truth, i simply cannot work AT ALL with that level of annihilation. it was simply too much and, as i told both of my journey companions, "i was just taken beyond the current limits of my own mind".
there are limits as it happens....and i had just found mine.
in retrospect, i can say with certainty that DMT is a tool beyond value for exploring the psyche and awakening dormant spirtiual 'receivers' within us all. however, just as turning up the volume too high can blow your speakers.....so too taking too high a dose of DMT can just as easily blow your pyschic speakers out. unlike actual speakers, our psyches will heal and we will be stronger for our experience...but all the same....i have been, and continue to be, an advocate for finding that perfect dose that enables one to truly 'work' with the medicine.
if i never have a journey of that magnitude again, i ain't gonna complain!!
but then again.....if you don't push to find the parameters of your psyche, you're always going to be left wondering if there's more out there that you could have seen... i suppose a nice death once a year or so will keep that curiosity satisfied...
i'm baaaack..... :d
with the deepest LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!
JOURNEY #1:
looking back, this journey has solidly confirmed my belief that DMT is best worked with at what i would call a 'level 1 breakthrough'. this is the breakthrough that gets you through the geometry and into the worlds, beings and visions BUT does not remove your sense of self. it takes a bit of work to consistently reach this degree of depth without under or over-shooting it, but once you've figured out your accurate dosage and technique it is truly the 'sweet spot' with this gift that is DMT.
i was exactly in this place with one solid hit of the pipe. what i saw was profound AND i was able to speak through the most educational portion of it. IM and Neuro were able to discuss with me all of the finer points upon my return and for that i am eternally grateful. the journey's highlights were as follows:
i was in a pyramid or some other large stone structure. i was a child. i stood with an old man (my father?) above what appeared to be a stone bathtub that was filled with water. interestingly, though i was in a stone structure and a deep part of my psyche had already affixed "Egypt" to this scenario, the environment was literally saturated with moisture. water everywhere. in bowls, in basins, the walls of the stones....water everywhere...
i was clad in a loincloth and i could see the rectangular light that was a doorway leading to outside of the building i was in. a man walked toward me/us and - though large (impossibly large) stones blocked his direct path- he pushed them aside like we would do with curtains today. the stones simply moved as if they were weightless and it was done without a second thought...
in my mind there, i simply knew that the WATER had something to do with this...and it all made perfect sense to me...
and now i was outside of the structure. it was, in fact, a pyramid. i have been here so many times throughout my work with the molecule. never this slowed down and accessible though....it was as if i was truly allowed to live for a moment in this place. to explore and to know what it was like...
and here is where i will sadly fall short in my desperate attempt to convey a gift so precious and profound...
i am standing in a great courtyard outside of this pyramidal structure. the pyramid looks smooth and perfect....absurdly so....like the great pyramid of the giza plateau. and yet, it is SO lush and fecund here. i simply know, in the way that we all just know while in contact with the oneness of hyperspace, that i am NOT in the central-americas. i KNOW that i am where Egypt is now....but long before....long before even the most preposterous alternative egyptologists would suggest civilization ever existed there. 20, 30, 40+ thousand years ago...this was another world..and yet...undeniably THIS world.
it is night-time and the stars are so bright and so much a part of the field of my vision that my vision itself is skewed. the physical landmarks that are on the ground are almost a direct mirror of the stars that are directly above. they are palpable. they are not something 'up there'...they are the completion of a sphere of consciousness that envelops me.
and then it happens... :shock:
i see geometry. it is not a little like when a breakthrough begins, it is EXACTLY like that...except....the geometry is formed by the stars above and the structures on the earth below. there are lines made of light....circles made of light....they form prisms...cubes within cubes....tesseracts of another dimension.
and i am standing directly amid all of this.
there is no time...no space...there is only the cubes, cylindes, cones, orbs that infinitely connect and intersect. there is no distance between things. the constellations above me are as close to me as the pyramid just a few meters in front of me. i am in all places and all times. this is where i am. this is where i am now. i understand the bigger picture. it is not the 'biggest' picture (somehow i am made aware that there are even deeper connections and dimensions), but for now my mind is thoroughly rapt. i am home and my home just expanded by what seems like infinity.
i had this journey a handful of days ago and i feel it's 'realness' and relevance now as clearly as when it was happening. there is something happening. something coming. it is profound and it is so much more in accordance with the everything that surrounds us than the world we currently have limited ourselves with. in our over-emphasis on the self, we have cut ourselves off from something so much more expansive and vast.
i personally believe that an 'opportunity' to once again begin viewing life in this massive scope is upon us. i do believe that focussed, responsible work with DMT is a powerful way to see this shift coming and to prepare for it. not the only way..but an undeniably legitimate option...
JOURNEY #2:
in almost 1,300 journeys i have never gone 'too far'... i would say that at least 75-80% of my journeys have been full-fledged breakthroughs, but of all those maybe 6 have been what i would call a 'level 3 ego-death' breakthrough. for most, just one of these is enough to last a lifetime....and i am like most in this respect. though the seeming DNA-upgrade and realigning that has taken place during these grand-daddies is truly a gift, they are harrowing and require a LOT of time to integrate and process...
i had my 7th. i am glad to have had my brothers there with me because, in truth, it was just slightly more than i could handle.
there is a 'tickle' in my lungs that i get when i take a breakthrough hit. no joke- i simply know when it's going to be a legitimate breakthrough when i feel that little tickle at the end of a deep, long hit. it didn't surprise me at all to learn quite recently that DMT receptors are found in large concentrations in....your....lungs....
so when an enormous plume of white vapor began to form almost from the onset of my lighting the torch, i knew this hit was going to be huge. and it was. and the tickle came early...with an enormous amount of vapor still left to clear out of the pipe.
which i did. :shock:
i was dead. i expanded and disintegrated and continued to disintegrate. each atom dissoving into an infinte number of smaller particles and each one of those doing the same....infinitely.
i was never coming back. i was only going to keep expanding and expanding until...well....i do not know....
i got scared. this was my first true taste of DMT terror. i didn't even understand the concept of language, but i remember early on trying to say 'yes' simply to shift the fear into a positive vibration.
the word yes was simply a triangular shape that broke into three pieces and fell like colored rain. language made no sense. sense made no sense. this was a complete untethering from any left-brain vestige that might have stowed-away on my hyperspace craft. i was completely in the flow of the right-brain and the infinite ocean of creativity. i had died....
and i stayed dead forever.
when i had gone, i was sitting in a chair in my meditative posture. the minute i even remotely had any kind of awareness of anything at all (it honestly felt like i was a gas slowly becoming a liquid slowly becoming a solid), i fell forward in a heap onto my bed. face down. drool pouring from my mouth. i could not speak...i could not think...i was still vastly gone and it would be another lifetime before i could even pick my utterly flaccid body upright and begin the arduous process of becoming a human again.
i'm sure that on some level a breakthrough of this magnitude is important and good....but i still haven't found that 'level'. in truth, i simply cannot work AT ALL with that level of annihilation. it was simply too much and, as i told both of my journey companions, "i was just taken beyond the current limits of my own mind".
there are limits as it happens....and i had just found mine.
in retrospect, i can say with certainty that DMT is a tool beyond value for exploring the psyche and awakening dormant spirtiual 'receivers' within us all. however, just as turning up the volume too high can blow your speakers.....so too taking too high a dose of DMT can just as easily blow your pyschic speakers out. unlike actual speakers, our psyches will heal and we will be stronger for our experience...but all the same....i have been, and continue to be, an advocate for finding that perfect dose that enables one to truly 'work' with the medicine.
if i never have a journey of that magnitude again, i ain't gonna complain!!
but then again.....if you don't push to find the parameters of your psyche, you're always going to be left wondering if there's more out there that you could have seen... i suppose a nice death once a year or so will keep that curiosity satisfied...
i'm baaaack..... :d
with the deepest LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!
