The most terrifying thing I have ever experienced!!

[floaton]

I'm not sure where to start but WOW!

My fascination with plants I like to call etheogens as tools for bettering myself is not new to me by any extent. My desire to post and be part of a community online has never been so strong after this experience, thanks for having me. For example my latest journey was about 2 years ago in peru with a shaman where I took triple the dose of san pedro. I say this not to boast yet to establish I typically have a very strong tolerance to psychedelics. I have never had a bad vibe experience and if I have had negative thoughts I would be able to shift frames with ease.


The Experience :


I take one small hit.... feel a little warm

hit 2 was a larger one .....I enter familiar door that reminded me of mescaline. I started looking around and wanted to clean my room ( reminder : setting ) all began vibrating. I sat and relaxed for a little put my headphones on. I thought hmm I must haven't done it right I don't feel much.

hit 3 very big

I exhaled and instantly felt my body give way like everything slowed and time froze I sunk deeper and deeper. I felt like I dropped from a building the every molecule in me folded in on its self and exploded. Then I heard a large crash I looked to my door and people were rushing in. (I never had full on Hallucinations only delusions warps of reality) I saw people in motion blur burst in yet I could not communicate with. I must be dead! In retrospect Im not sure if my eyes were open or not. Then I thought maybe I accidentally rolled on the pipe that I put safety away. I feel my face and it all bleeding. I hear a friend of a friend that was over say oh my good what happend. I look for the pipe I see it I grab it, it is completely intact I hide in pile of laundry. Then every person I ever loved came through that door to check on me. Then I hear/feel/ a repeating thought gameover then it was a feeling that I killed everyone i ever loved at that one moment. I have left never to return.

I got up... and made it to my bed. I wasn't sure if the people who came in were still there. After awhile I figured no one was on my bed or in the room. Then I heard loud knocking on the door. I did not answer. Then I heard someone say so you think you are hardcore I will show you real evil. Then the feeling of terror swept over a hopelessness. Eventually I this stage I was able to tell myself this will end. I waited under my covers. I peaked out into my room now I knew I was there and could see strong delusions of my room being some temple. My bed in the water between worlds. I regained control and admired some of the complex tendrils coming towards me. At that moment things just were what they were I had no associations with them. Almost an acceptance. I floated back down.

The first thing I did was caressed my body almost in tears how grateful and lucky I am to have this life. I immediately thought of the people I loved that "came to help me" in the experiance and made some breakthroughs on whom I need to reach out to. Even some people I think I didnt much care for but with them gone I felt like the world ceased to be.


Trying to understand the hostility.....

I came into this open to confronting some issues to grow from and seeing some darkness. Being ripped from your body and feeling that sensation I feel like there is NOTHING ever that could properly prepare you for that or the feeling of everything beautiful being taken from you.

So I think my roomate dropped something loud which triggered the panic. Then someone came to knock on my door.


Have external reality based noises events triggered any panic with others?



regardless the universe eternally to bitch slapped me my first voyage.

QUESTIONS: to experienced travelers


has anyone ever had such an intense first time?

I did prep some peaceful tunes comfortable space put on chirstmas lights.....

Im trying to back track and I feel like curiousity was alittle more overpowering that specific intent?

also I had 2 drinks for preflight jitters has anyone experienced the negativity as result of a couple drinks?


As a first time experience it absolutely scared the shit out of me

But out of that traumatic experience I stilll have this feeling of gratitude for all life and its beauty I have soooo much respect for the spice opened up these different thoughts which literally brought tears of happiness to my eyes days after.

After quite a bit of time pushing these new ideas into my life I would like to try again. But totally hesitant that it would be so earth shatteringly negative... I don't know how to proceed. Funny even though it has brought me so many positive things it is a really weird concept. I guess is along with the pain makes you appreciate things in a new light. Is it always like a synthetic traumatic experience?

Thanks to all of you in advance I would be very grateful for any insights you could share brothers and sisters.

 

[Global]

Have external reality based noises events triggered any panic with others?

regardless the universe eternally to bitch slapped me my first voyage.

QUESTIONS: to experienced travelers

has anyone ever had such an intense first time?

I did prep some peaceful tunes comfortable space put on chirstmas lights.....

Im trying to back track and I feel like curiousity was alittle more overpowering that specific intent?

also I had 2 drinks for preflight jitters has anyone experienced the negativity as result of a couple drinks?

External noises have never triggered panic in me. I have always been able to distinguish between the sounds of reality and the sounds of hyperspace (though hyperspace is 100% capable of making audible sounds that can be heard as if hearing physical sound). Having said that though, external sound can interact quite strongly with hyperspace. Usually a sudden external sound like a door slamming or a dog barking or something like that will typically "derail" what I have going on where everything "gets knocked off track" so-to-speak. The other thing to consider is that while external noises have not resulted in panic for me, when panic does arise for whatever reason, it can steer the experience quite astray. The experience which to me presents itself as sentient in itself can sense what you're feeling and will often play off it, so if it was the case that the external noise incited some panic and paranoia in you, that might have been all you needed to go in some odd direction.

I had a very intense (but pleasurable) first time, but yours sounds more intense. I remember exclaiming that it felt like the pleasure of MDMA at its peak times ten. So for myself it was practically overwhelming, just in the complete opposite direction. That's the thing about DMT though, is that you should never expect anything. You'll start making expectations (including based on that first experience you've just had) and it will continually shatter them. I wouldn't write it off just yet, it has so many different things in store for you with your patience (what I don't know, but different I can be sure of).

I wouldn't get too caught up in specific intent for the time being if you don't really have one. Exploration and curiosity will suffice, and it will lay the path for you. Eventually it might lead you in a direction where you may develop specific questions or attempt specific applications of hyperspace, and then an intention is more appropriate, but for now, simply wanting to know it better is an intent that's good enough IMO.

I don't want to enrage a debate in terms of "should you drink or not preflight" cause it's been had here a number of times if you search around, but I will say that especially since you did find your experience to be unpleasant, I would definitely try it without the drinking next time. Those preflight jitters can be hell of unnerving, but you just gotta push past it. For myself, it's an automatic physiological reaction that is practically unavoidable despite how I may feel psychologically (i.e. not scared or anxious). However as soon as I get the vapor in my lungs and I'm holding it in for just a second or two, I instantly relax, my heart rate drops, my muscles and shoulders ease back, and all is good. Now what follows is anyone's guess. It could be incredibly fast and intense, or it could be rather mellow, and it's silly to try and guess which.

 

[DreaMTripper]

Couldnt say it better. Ive been derailed by external sources it felt anxious and stressfull for a short while but it was only sub-breakthrough so I imagine a big enough alarming jolt during a breakthrough trip would be a rough ride indeed. Next time make certain of no surprises.
As for a few drinks beforehand Ive often had a few beers, usually with a joint or two previous to a trip and felt it smoothed liftoff nicely.

 

[Felnik]

I don't think alcohol mixes well with this stuff. Better not to
Drink . Some people can get away with it but bad idea when
First starting out .

In my opinion it's a bad idea to do it inside with
Roommates around .

Just as an example I never do it anywhere near people
I go as far as possible into the woods away from all man made
Objects. Now I understand that not everyone has the luxury of
Getting away from people but it is possible if you put your mind to it.



If your really interested in having a good experience start
With outside during the day with no music . Set and setting is key to this .
It can be very scary at first, it takes time to get used to the effects of this .
A dark room with roommates floating around would not be my first choice
Setting but that's just me .

 

[adam]

My first experience was absolutely terrifying, no amount of psychedelics experience can prepare you for vaped dmt in my opinion. I remember being in my room and hitting my pipe three times and just having everything change in the blink of an eye, the scintillating geometrical patterns infused with life and emotion were so overwhelming I began to hyperventilate and almost fainted. In my tizzy I was being shown what seemed like a slideshow of everyone I ever knew in my life and all the wrong I had done them, at this point I was having a full on panic attack. Thankfully I had a little salt inhaler to breath through which calmed me immensely.

Also my first trip was an unweighed dose that I now reckon was somewhere above 100mg. This was wayyyy to much. What was you dose?

Since then I have learned to dose properly and how to relax a bit and work with the spice instead of against.

In terms of distractions and drinking, I like to the experience to be as focused and clear as possible, meaning no distractions no other substances except ones that may synergize the experience like mushrooms, or ayahuasca.

 

[Metanoia]

In terms of distractions and drinking, I like to the experience to be as focused and clear as possible, meaning no distractions no other substances except ones that may synergize the experience like mushrooms, or ayahuasca.

Especially for a first experience, this is probably the best approach. I won't say what does or doesn't go with DMT; everyone is different and reacts differently. Some people love to smoke cannabis before/with/after DMT, I don't. I really enjoy cannabis with almost any other psychedelic but with DMT it just doesn't meld together well, the two seem to battle each other in some way.

I'm also curious about the dose you took?

 

[doodlekid]

My first times were awful as well. Even now I have the occasional setback or difficulty with letting go and to trust DMT all the way.

Distractions that come without substance as well. Having issues with people for instance can become very acute or painful doing DMT. Usually things I forgot, or rather have forgotten for a reason come back shortly after. There are lot's of hidden contents in one's consciousness and probably every first time for something opens some boxes...

Anyway cannabis is a tricky thing. Maybe for experienced travelers, but not when you're just at the start. I don't like it either. It's the same with Iboga by the way, vaping DMT after a Iboga flood is not recommended the first month or so.

Good luck on further travels

 

[floaton]

You Guys are Great!

Thanks for all the helpful in-depth feedback!

more about Setting:

It is funny even with mushroooms I would never do it indoors. Like you suggested Felnik I would always plan a place with close select friends during the day in nature. The place preferably would be without many other "strangers" and a wide open space. I read many accounts on setting here and it appeared like being in nature was maybe less important because you are essentially leaving where ever you were. Now to me I think it is just as important and probably more than other hallucinogens because of its power.

The external factors wouldn't necessarily have been in play in a different setting as well. In retrospect it was quite soon after blasting I heard a loud crash. I think allot of the conflict was me trying to force myself back reality and figureout what happened. Like you said Global at that point it is possible with that panic feeling it played off that in a disturbing direction.

ps Global thanks for your time put in your response. Your words especially soothed my nerves.


Dosage: I definitely think for a first time I did much too much!

I did not actually weigh and that is probably something I will do so I could better understand the different levels based on amounts. I took a about 1/2 of the size of an eraser head on a pencil. I was going off of hits and feeling. Now I could see how that last hit could have been at least 2-2 1/2 of "a hit" that is the one were I "popped".... first one was average and 2nd 1-1 3/4.


Pre flight jitters:

It does sound like it may be quite a personal thing from your responses. Since I did have that experience I think you are right I should try without and clear and see if there is a difference. I guess the worries were that the anxiety would cross into the flight but it does seems like in other threads people say it typically doesn't

Thanks again everyone!!!

also I tried to read up on breakthrough in the lexicon but still curious what it means... it felt like I was there.

Anyone have anymore thoughts on what "breakthough" is to them?

 

[Hieronymous]

Anyone have anymore thoughts on what "breakthough" is to them?

You'll probably get a lot of different answers to that question.

To me a breakthrough is where you leave this reality and make contact with something or someone else from another realm.

You normally don't get that from other psychedelics like acid or shrooms etc, although you can see and feel the presence of beings at times. With a DMT breakthrough this reality dissolves and you become part of another realm/dimension.

 

[Satori808]

i was gunna say what felnik did in his/her first two paragraphs... so ya, just another vote to get away from any possible external surprises and i wouldnt include alcohol either.

 

[alert]

My first experience was absolutely terrifying, no amount of psychedelics experience can prepare you for vaped dmt in my opinion.

This was my experience as well. Well, my first DMT experience wasn't terrifying but my first breakthrough most certainly was. I also agree no amount of previous psychedelic experience can prepare you for a full on breakthrough.

In retrospect that breakthrough was possibly my most valuable psychedelic experience. I find that the scarier trips can be some on the more insightful ones.

Anyone have anymore thoughts on what "breakthough" is to them?

A breakthrough to is the total annihilation of any sense of self. Not realizing you are a human who has a body. Fully merging into the light. When you come back to your body you have a sense of rebirth and a good dose of WTF?

That is my subjective definition from my experiences, anyway.