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The return journey

Migrated topic.


Rising Star
(mind)Set: Calm and happy
(physical condition) Set: Awake, healthy
Setting (location): At home with the patio doors wide open, beautiful sunny spring day
time of day: 3pm
recent drug use: none
last meal: Spaghetti with chili and garlic oil, rocket and parmasan.

Gender: m
body weight: 75kg
known sensitivities:
history of use: mid to late novice.


Substance(s): Rue Harmalas, FB DMT
Dose(s): 50mg Harmala, 37mg DMT
Method of administration: Sublingual Harmala, Machine Vaped DMT


Administration time: T=0:00 Sublingual Harmalas T=0:15 DMT
Duration: about 35mins for visuals, but feelings lasted probably another 30 mins
First effects:
Peak: T=0:16
Come down:T=0:20?

Intensity (overall): 3
Evaluation / notes: Cannot remember the breakthrough at all except for the come down - which is unusual. Taste of the Harmalas after DMT was quite harsh on the return, thought I was made of washing-up liquid - would probably want to avoid this next time - Perhaps something flavoured after the sublinguals.

Pleasantness: 4
Implesantness: 0
Visual Intensity: 3


Hangover: Usual Harmala after effects, drank lots of water over night and avoided headaches etc.
Afterglow: Bliss, reaffirmed my love for the universe.


Caught in the crashing closing tides, she was wrapped in me. As we fell together I reflected on how she could love me when I was no-one, nothing. Impossible remembering as we tumbled and tossed on the splinters of the failing reality, her pink and lace becoming the light and structure on nothing and everything. Once I opened my eyes she was gone, a harsh real world of something I needed to do, there was a slower more distant and static life here. I closed my eyes but she was now all but a texture.

This illicit meeting was ended, she was left behind in another reality.

My hand - that was something I used, as I watched it it became all there was, the hand - so I looked out, for other life and beauty. A great tree spoke back, it's hard old man face structured in its branches, I sang and he danced. There was a darkness in it, something deep and ominous, something in me too and coming from the song. “I love you” I sang moving the tone, and it reached up to grow.

Kali called to me, her Yantra pulled at my vision so I moved to where I could look into her eye. She looked back, not all of Kali but a symbol trapped in colours on the wall. Her loving reverse pyramid looked back, swimming in the eternal blackness of its centre. Between us spirits and movement filled the empty space, losing her gaze I tried to see them - but they were hers, when I left her they left too.

I returned to her and sang to her of her beauty, deep my voice came and her petals swam to its sound. I rumbled of how she was so beautiful, and she told me of my journey - tried to help me remember. We sang to each other until I came back to me and the spirits departed - her eye still watching in its depths.
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