AwesomeUsername
Esteemed member
This story takes time of the last time I drank ayahuasca. Prior to that I had drank it before and had intense experiences, but this one was the most intense from all.
I made sure when I brewed it as efficiently as I could and I haven't eaten anything the whole day just for this. I was feeling exited and nerveous at the same time but I was at a safe place. I drank it about 00:30am after finishing my shift that day and began feeling slight effects at the 20 minute mark but that was nothing more than a calm meditative state that could very well be reached in a sober state of mind.
As the time passed the typical sick and stoned feeling came on and I thought to myself if this is so intense right now, this is not going to be an easy experience at all... I become increasingly more anxious as the effects were far stronger than I anticipated or at least remembered from previous sessions.
Soon this feeling faded as I saw my whole reality stretch before my eyes along visuals I can't even put to words how they looked like. I managed to look at the time and an hour has passed. I wasn't sure if this was the peak of the experience but I didn't really care either as I managed to convince myself that it can't be any more intense than it already is at this moment.
At this part my memory is a bit hazy about where I actually walked because it felt like mother ayahuasca was guiding me somewhere and I just naturally went along with it. Keep in mind my visual field was so occupied that a familiar setting looked like an alien planet and I didn't know where the fuck I was.
The visions I do remember seemed very alien and very tribal at the same time. I could hear the drums beating and some sort of icaro-singing without any external stimuli. Moving on I found myself on the same spot that I started walking from and had an very eerie vibe that all of this happened in my mind, but I kind of knew this was the old but familiar psychedelic deja-vu. I felt quite sick the whole time and as I sat down I thought I will puke in no time, but it just faded.
I kept walking again in the hope that the sick feeling would go away and I found myself close to a building. I tried to justify to myself what actually is bothering me, is it my stomack? my legs, head? As soon as that thought went my arms and legs stretched to infinity and the "I" just disappeared. Suddenly it felt as though my consciousness became my environment and at that moment I knew, there it is.
The feeling was quite brief, but powerful nevertheless. There was nothing earthly that reminded me of my ego, it just died and I was no longer afraid because there was no me to be afraid and it felt very natural as this is what it is supposed to be. After I returned I was okay with it, not terrified but couldn't explain it to myself what the fuck just happened.
As soon as it faded a bit I felt physically awesome, and it left me in a introspective trip that dealt with problems that needed to be dealt with inside my head.
At this point it was getting late, and cold and also a bit of rain was starting to fall and I was quite a while away from home. I tried to ride the bike but it was too cold so I was walking, pushing the bike and getting wet from the increasingly dense rain that was coming. I thought at least this way I'm not as cold, and I'll come home not tripping balls like a motherfucker.
Soon I became wet as I jumped in a lake so I said fuck it and drove. My coordination was still off and I felt like I could fall from my bike a few times during the ride but it didn't matter because it was the fastest way I could get home. I didn't even care that I would come home tripping my balls off the only thing that mattered is for me to get there.
I wasn't even annoyed by the rain and the cold as I was aware that this was the path I had to go through, and I was very much feeling at peace and in the moment, regardless to the fact that everything could be better.
When I came home I was still a bit uncoordinated and it was still visually insane, but I managed to properly put my bike to its place, and unlock the door, change clothes and get ready for bed. Needless to say I couldn't sleep for hours after that. My ego was back, but I remember laying down and having some sort of alien contact. It was very bizarre and they were talking gibberish but it all made some sense too on a weird way.
If I would go on with the mental aspect of the rest of the evening I would probably have something to talk about enough to open up another thread but long story short I experienced a series of scenarios like seeing myself getting buried alive. I took those scenarios as symbolism rather than seeing my own faith, and I looked some of the stuff in a dream journal it made more sense after googling it afterward.
Still a hell of an experience to integrate that easily.
Sidenote: I wrote about this in tiny bits on another thread, I stated that I took it at 1:30am but it was actually an hour before. I wrote that reply while I was still tripping and mixed things up a bit so if anyone happens to see this thread and the reply just know it was the same trip.
I made sure when I brewed it as efficiently as I could and I haven't eaten anything the whole day just for this. I was feeling exited and nerveous at the same time but I was at a safe place. I drank it about 00:30am after finishing my shift that day and began feeling slight effects at the 20 minute mark but that was nothing more than a calm meditative state that could very well be reached in a sober state of mind.
As the time passed the typical sick and stoned feeling came on and I thought to myself if this is so intense right now, this is not going to be an easy experience at all... I become increasingly more anxious as the effects were far stronger than I anticipated or at least remembered from previous sessions.
Soon this feeling faded as I saw my whole reality stretch before my eyes along visuals I can't even put to words how they looked like. I managed to look at the time and an hour has passed. I wasn't sure if this was the peak of the experience but I didn't really care either as I managed to convince myself that it can't be any more intense than it already is at this moment.
At this part my memory is a bit hazy about where I actually walked because it felt like mother ayahuasca was guiding me somewhere and I just naturally went along with it. Keep in mind my visual field was so occupied that a familiar setting looked like an alien planet and I didn't know where the fuck I was.
The visions I do remember seemed very alien and very tribal at the same time. I could hear the drums beating and some sort of icaro-singing without any external stimuli. Moving on I found myself on the same spot that I started walking from and had an very eerie vibe that all of this happened in my mind, but I kind of knew this was the old but familiar psychedelic deja-vu. I felt quite sick the whole time and as I sat down I thought I will puke in no time, but it just faded.
I kept walking again in the hope that the sick feeling would go away and I found myself close to a building. I tried to justify to myself what actually is bothering me, is it my stomack? my legs, head? As soon as that thought went my arms and legs stretched to infinity and the "I" just disappeared. Suddenly it felt as though my consciousness became my environment and at that moment I knew, there it is.
The feeling was quite brief, but powerful nevertheless. There was nothing earthly that reminded me of my ego, it just died and I was no longer afraid because there was no me to be afraid and it felt very natural as this is what it is supposed to be. After I returned I was okay with it, not terrified but couldn't explain it to myself what the fuck just happened.
As soon as it faded a bit I felt physically awesome, and it left me in a introspective trip that dealt with problems that needed to be dealt with inside my head.
At this point it was getting late, and cold and also a bit of rain was starting to fall and I was quite a while away from home. I tried to ride the bike but it was too cold so I was walking, pushing the bike and getting wet from the increasingly dense rain that was coming. I thought at least this way I'm not as cold, and I'll come home not tripping balls like a motherfucker.
Soon I became wet as I jumped in a lake so I said fuck it and drove. My coordination was still off and I felt like I could fall from my bike a few times during the ride but it didn't matter because it was the fastest way I could get home. I didn't even care that I would come home tripping my balls off the only thing that mattered is for me to get there.
I wasn't even annoyed by the rain and the cold as I was aware that this was the path I had to go through, and I was very much feeling at peace and in the moment, regardless to the fact that everything could be better.
When I came home I was still a bit uncoordinated and it was still visually insane, but I managed to properly put my bike to its place, and unlock the door, change clothes and get ready for bed. Needless to say I couldn't sleep for hours after that. My ego was back, but I remember laying down and having some sort of alien contact. It was very bizarre and they were talking gibberish but it all made some sense too on a weird way.
If I would go on with the mental aspect of the rest of the evening I would probably have something to talk about enough to open up another thread but long story short I experienced a series of scenarios like seeing myself getting buried alive. I took those scenarios as symbolism rather than seeing my own faith, and I looked some of the stuff in a dream journal it made more sense after googling it afterward.
Still a hell of an experience to integrate that easily.
Sidenote: I wrote about this in tiny bits on another thread, I stated that I took it at 1:30am but it was actually an hour before. I wrote that reply while I was still tripping and mixed things up a bit so if anyone happens to see this thread and the reply just know it was the same trip.
