Preface/Backstory (please read)
This image attached is not of my works, but instead a painting experienced from painter Alex Grey and his wife during a shared trip experience that I too have seen in exact accuracy. it's called the Universal Mind Lattice. I thank my fellow psychonauts for helping me discover that many of us share this experienced phenomena.
My experience with DMT begins over a decade ago with the discovery of the Erowid Forums. At the time, I had trained myself to lucid dream and maintain awareness while falling asleep and began a deep dive into the world of psychonauts. There, before I was even 18, stumbled upon the experience reports of DMT and was fascinated by the phenomenas of experiencing entities and the so-called hyperspace. I'd never known of a phenomena of "we are all one", the The Universal Mind Lattice or anything other than commonly experienced entities and hyperspace with DMT.. until I experienced it myself and then discovered the commonalities.
Below I will include my first two "breakthrough" experiences with DMT that share some similarity and they will be labelled for separation.
Story 1: The Entity and the Universal Mind Lattice
I decided to go to a music festival with my girlfriend and set the intention to make some new friends. This story includes the man that introduced me to DMT. It had been a decade since my fascination with DMT first emerged, and I had nearly forgotten about it beyond my initial deep dive in reading a decade prior. My new friend asked me if I knew about DMT and invited me to his house afterward to experience it.
Before going to his home, we camped out at a spring and I had my first taste of it. It was a crude method - we put it in with some weed and smoked a joint. I didnt experience much other than hearing this wolf-like howling from the trees and the sounds of people yipping and cheering. It later reminded me of Native Americans but I just figured that to be one of my only frames of reference, knowing of Ayahuasca. I liked to think it was like a celebration of initiation to DMT. It was rather peculiar that I had no visual hallucination (besides that basic psychedelic-waviness) but instead purely auditory. I did later confirm there we no such sounds occurring afterward.
So then we go to his home, along with my girlfriend at the time, with the intention of me breaking through. We used a glass rig banger. I told him I wanted him to administer me the doses until I couldn't anymore. I was not afraid and was familiar with maintaining states of mind through other psychedelics. As much as I could have thought I was ready, man was I still SHOCKED!!
Upon taking my final dose, I knew I was in for it. The first thing I remember seeing with my eyes open was an entity basically crab walking across the room we are in - and I thought "oh boy here we go..." and a little fear creeps in. Suddenly, a pinkish, white and black lined vortex appears from the wall and sucks me into the hyperspace. Either my friend or I must have told myself to close my eyes after that final dose. Upon being sucked into the vortex, it sounded like my ears popped, a fascinating "ploink" sound as I teleport into it and experienced a near violently-fast transportation through a tunnel in the vortex.. and there's the fabled entity! I'm staring into just a face, comprised of a kaleidoscope of color and geometry, around it the vortex, a super fast tunnel of mesmerizing color and speed.
I feel like I'm being told to FOCUS, this being is staring at me and trying to get me to focus on it, going as far as using a humorous expression closing one eye, sticking a tongue out.. I'm so mesmerized by all the visual input I have no thoughts except following along and observing the rollercoaster. Next thing I know, my friend breaks the immersion and asks "Do you need some water?" and upon opening my eyes, I see him but he's someone else and we're someplace else. He's suddenly wearing a pinkish-like facepaint in the dim light as if he's some witch-doctor/medicine man, and its like were in a camp at night with the dim flicker of fire in the background. He puts the water to my mouth (which definitely doesnt look like a glass cup that it was, I feel like im being fed Ayahuasca from a dark cup) and it hits me like electricity instantaneously hitting my throat.
Suddenly, as if from impact of the drink, I'm instantly teleported somewhere else. I know I sat back in my chair and then I'm gone. I instantly find myself in the image phenomena I've attached below, The Universal Mind Lattice. Please look at it now. I see these strings of light, as if energy is coursing through them with gradient light, up, around, down, and all over again in this shape (I later told this trip report to someone else who gave me the word for this shape, a torus, which further research into it lead me to discover I saw the exact same famous phenomena i'd never seen before.) I also see my silhouette, in this series of stringy-lights, as I'm meditating and seemingly-channeling it from the center, just like the image, with the chakras going through me as well. I was always a skeptical of chakras but okay! I sat there for a moment, feeling this deep euphoria, peace and detachment. I knew what I was doing very clearly now and I wanted to keep enjoying it. Then I heard my audience with a slight panic in their voices "youre not breathing, you need to breathe." I didn't want to. I instinctively seemed to know that once I did, it was time to leave. But I submitted for my safety, and upon doing so, I instantly found myself back in the room of normalcy.
I looked around, everything looked completely normal besides a little haziness. My friend tells me I need to describe what I saw. I'm at a loss of words, with the shock of being there then here, one second to the next. I remember my girlfriend was sitting beside me, I heard her tell me to breathe. I look over, and it's not her, not even close! WHAT?? Everything else is normal! This is weird.
At this moment, I think i experience more shock than I've ever felt in my life. I glance over, everything else is still normal, EXCEPT HER. Her eyes shook me to my core. Her pupils are these vibrant red diamonds, a powerful presence and gaze. The expression in her eyes is intense, yet somehow calm, like how Buddha is commonly depicted with drooping eyelids, but staring through me eye-to-eye. Her hair is no longer ginger, but dark and wild going everywhere. Her skin is dark like ashen-black and oddly textured, as if dimpled and scaly looking. I raise my hand up to touch her, then freeze it in mid-air. I was too afraid to touch. I know my girlfriend was sitting here, I know its her, I heard her voice, but it's also completely not her at all. The face isn't even the same shape. I thought if this wasn't her, I needed to be respectful and not touch, besides, the presence felt incredibly powerful, I didn't dare try, it was scary enough to gaze at, a seemingly unhuman look in the eye. Then I looked at my hand, frozen in mid-air. It looked somewhat similar, as if we were amphibious looking perhaps. Then I noticed my skin was changing. It looked puffy, swollen, water-logged and more lifeless in color than before. It started progressing like that, as if I was rotting in water. My friend and girlfriend realize im staring at her in shock after coming-to, and my girlfriend in excitement asks me what im seeing but I've barely gotten out some broken mumbling prior to the shock was experiecing, returning to normalcy so abruptly. As I stare at my rotting hand, everything comes back to normal.. and that was that. It wasn't for at least several months of excitedly telling this story that I discovered Alex Gray's painting.
It honestly felt ominous, like a warning. I easily interpreted it as such because her mental health had been in a bad place for a long time and I think deep down I knew I needed to go a long time ago. But I was trying to be supportive, until I finally realized, it really was "killing me".
I realized right after I forgot to set my intentions as I was so focused on taking the hits to breakthrough my first time. So I knew I had to go back. But my experience was so profound, it took me quite a long time to process it all and be ready. I felt the impression I'd know when I was ready and declined further invitations until I procured it on my own volition
Story Two: We Are All One; Just Enjoy It.
Nearly a year had past since that first breakthrough. I met another person who shared some DMT with me. I was a bit fearful to do the deep-dive again and knew that was generally a sign not to. But at the same time, I knew I HAD to go back. I know what I wanted to ask now. Was everything just a figment of my imagination? If not, what's the meaning of it all, what and where did I experience this otherworldly dimension and entity? It felt unnervingly supernatural.
Once again, but with a different friend this time, I had them administer me the doses until I couldn't, with another glass banger rig. I set my intentions and when he put the rig to my mouth and I went to touch the DMT, the dot i was aiming for became like a grid of like 16 dots and I proclaimed "I dont know whats going on!" in kind of a panic because I needed more help and really didnt want to waste any for the breakthrough. Next thing I know, it's like someone responded to me instantly and reached out a hand.
I was still sitting upright in bed, feet to the floor, eyes open and saw it like a vision. That hand just completely took over and was all I saw, a hand in a dark void of black. My panic turned to instant relief. It was like the person I saw, rather feminine feeling, guiding me the second things began all over again. It felt like an unexpected blessing as I figured ANYTHING could happen, I was prepared for the worst. My eyes are still open and suddenly I register everything around me beyond the vision. I'm still in the room. Everything is COMPLETELY normal again... EXCEPT HER.
A being comprising of fantastical colors and geometry, yet still humanoid in shape, is standing right in front of me. I thought, I cant believe it. This is just like what I experienced before, a fantastical entity surrounded by complete normalcy, but this time a completely different appearance and stand-alone without overwriting someone else's appearance. You couldnt really make out a face beyond the humanoid silhouette of color but it was so beautiful. I'm suddenly flooded with this telepathic-like communication where I feel like im feeling what she's feeling, so accurately in my mind. Shes in bliss. Shes so happy to see me. It's as if, shes been waiting for this for a long time and she missed me so deeply. I dont really know who she is but I felt very empathetic for her. It was like I was her family member that she had been watching from the afterlife, for me to finally be able to see her again. It's like ive never seen someone so happy in my life.
So, my girlfriend is with us once again and knows my last trip report in detail. So she sees it all over my face and posture that im seeing an entity again. She jumps off the bed and twirls in a circle and says "Its her isnt it?!". The entity looks back at her, raises her thumb back as if to ackowledge her and say "lol this chick. Yeah its me" and smirks in amusement.
Then I thought, "Ok. So, are you real?", and she grins real big again, with a smirk of very-humanlike smug amusement. A display of celebration and confirmation appears above her and I, not visible with my eyes like I saw her, but in my mind, again like telepathetic communication.. Fireworks, confetti, and a big bright bold "YES!" like depictions occurred. I was pretty satisfied with that. This felt insanely real, I feel completely coherent and focused, I feel practically sober and its so baffling.
So my next question then, "What's the meaning of life?"
I'm filled with a burst of information, "I'm You, You're Me, We're All One." and she's just gushing with emotion and I can't help but be absorbed by it. I've never felt more cherished and loved, and I even had plenty of that in my relationship and family. It's infectious. Shes gotten to me. How could you not love someone that loves you THIS MUCH? I feel like I love her already, deeply. I dont know who she is, she could be a mother, a lover, it didnt matter, that love and bond really felt like meeting a loved one in the afterlife. I'm so happy to experience it. More information floods my skull.
"The purpose of life is just to enjoy it! DUH!" she communicates with a grin of silly amusement, as if to say, you could have figured that out, its really that simple! .. and suddenly, it feels like my body is a clockwork, my knees connected to tethers that raise me from my seat without input. She wants to dance! And I dont care what it looks like either! I twirl around whimsically and enjoy this moment as if shes hand in hand, but its just me. And then she was gone. I go to sit with my friend and girlfriend and tell them immediately, the words fly from my mouth like autopilot without thought this time, as if the only effort was the lack of resisting. "I'm Not Me, I'm You. Because We're All One! The Meaning Of Life Is To Just Enjoy It!". My friend gets all amused and entertains me as I shift to complete sobriety.
And that's my story. It's been years since and I've not tried to have a breakthrough since. I'd definitely love to see her again. But I know I don't need to. I still carry that love I felt with me everyday and I think about it all the time. I know someday, I'll see her again. But then again, she's not gone. YOU're right here.
Much Love,
Cody
This image attached is not of my works, but instead a painting experienced from painter Alex Grey and his wife during a shared trip experience that I too have seen in exact accuracy. it's called the Universal Mind Lattice. I thank my fellow psychonauts for helping me discover that many of us share this experienced phenomena.
My experience with DMT begins over a decade ago with the discovery of the Erowid Forums. At the time, I had trained myself to lucid dream and maintain awareness while falling asleep and began a deep dive into the world of psychonauts. There, before I was even 18, stumbled upon the experience reports of DMT and was fascinated by the phenomenas of experiencing entities and the so-called hyperspace. I'd never known of a phenomena of "we are all one", the The Universal Mind Lattice or anything other than commonly experienced entities and hyperspace with DMT.. until I experienced it myself and then discovered the commonalities.
Below I will include my first two "breakthrough" experiences with DMT that share some similarity and they will be labelled for separation.
Story 1: The Entity and the Universal Mind Lattice
I decided to go to a music festival with my girlfriend and set the intention to make some new friends. This story includes the man that introduced me to DMT. It had been a decade since my fascination with DMT first emerged, and I had nearly forgotten about it beyond my initial deep dive in reading a decade prior. My new friend asked me if I knew about DMT and invited me to his house afterward to experience it.
Before going to his home, we camped out at a spring and I had my first taste of it. It was a crude method - we put it in with some weed and smoked a joint. I didnt experience much other than hearing this wolf-like howling from the trees and the sounds of people yipping and cheering. It later reminded me of Native Americans but I just figured that to be one of my only frames of reference, knowing of Ayahuasca. I liked to think it was like a celebration of initiation to DMT. It was rather peculiar that I had no visual hallucination (besides that basic psychedelic-waviness) but instead purely auditory. I did later confirm there we no such sounds occurring afterward.
So then we go to his home, along with my girlfriend at the time, with the intention of me breaking through. We used a glass rig banger. I told him I wanted him to administer me the doses until I couldn't anymore. I was not afraid and was familiar with maintaining states of mind through other psychedelics. As much as I could have thought I was ready, man was I still SHOCKED!!
Upon taking my final dose, I knew I was in for it. The first thing I remember seeing with my eyes open was an entity basically crab walking across the room we are in - and I thought "oh boy here we go..." and a little fear creeps in. Suddenly, a pinkish, white and black lined vortex appears from the wall and sucks me into the hyperspace. Either my friend or I must have told myself to close my eyes after that final dose. Upon being sucked into the vortex, it sounded like my ears popped, a fascinating "ploink" sound as I teleport into it and experienced a near violently-fast transportation through a tunnel in the vortex.. and there's the fabled entity! I'm staring into just a face, comprised of a kaleidoscope of color and geometry, around it the vortex, a super fast tunnel of mesmerizing color and speed.
I feel like I'm being told to FOCUS, this being is staring at me and trying to get me to focus on it, going as far as using a humorous expression closing one eye, sticking a tongue out.. I'm so mesmerized by all the visual input I have no thoughts except following along and observing the rollercoaster. Next thing I know, my friend breaks the immersion and asks "Do you need some water?" and upon opening my eyes, I see him but he's someone else and we're someplace else. He's suddenly wearing a pinkish-like facepaint in the dim light as if he's some witch-doctor/medicine man, and its like were in a camp at night with the dim flicker of fire in the background. He puts the water to my mouth (which definitely doesnt look like a glass cup that it was, I feel like im being fed Ayahuasca from a dark cup) and it hits me like electricity instantaneously hitting my throat.
Suddenly, as if from impact of the drink, I'm instantly teleported somewhere else. I know I sat back in my chair and then I'm gone. I instantly find myself in the image phenomena I've attached below, The Universal Mind Lattice. Please look at it now. I see these strings of light, as if energy is coursing through them with gradient light, up, around, down, and all over again in this shape (I later told this trip report to someone else who gave me the word for this shape, a torus, which further research into it lead me to discover I saw the exact same famous phenomena i'd never seen before.) I also see my silhouette, in this series of stringy-lights, as I'm meditating and seemingly-channeling it from the center, just like the image, with the chakras going through me as well. I was always a skeptical of chakras but okay! I sat there for a moment, feeling this deep euphoria, peace and detachment. I knew what I was doing very clearly now and I wanted to keep enjoying it. Then I heard my audience with a slight panic in their voices "youre not breathing, you need to breathe." I didn't want to. I instinctively seemed to know that once I did, it was time to leave. But I submitted for my safety, and upon doing so, I instantly found myself back in the room of normalcy.
I looked around, everything looked completely normal besides a little haziness. My friend tells me I need to describe what I saw. I'm at a loss of words, with the shock of being there then here, one second to the next. I remember my girlfriend was sitting beside me, I heard her tell me to breathe. I look over, and it's not her, not even close! WHAT?? Everything else is normal! This is weird.
At this moment, I think i experience more shock than I've ever felt in my life. I glance over, everything else is still normal, EXCEPT HER. Her eyes shook me to my core. Her pupils are these vibrant red diamonds, a powerful presence and gaze. The expression in her eyes is intense, yet somehow calm, like how Buddha is commonly depicted with drooping eyelids, but staring through me eye-to-eye. Her hair is no longer ginger, but dark and wild going everywhere. Her skin is dark like ashen-black and oddly textured, as if dimpled and scaly looking. I raise my hand up to touch her, then freeze it in mid-air. I was too afraid to touch. I know my girlfriend was sitting here, I know its her, I heard her voice, but it's also completely not her at all. The face isn't even the same shape. I thought if this wasn't her, I needed to be respectful and not touch, besides, the presence felt incredibly powerful, I didn't dare try, it was scary enough to gaze at, a seemingly unhuman look in the eye. Then I looked at my hand, frozen in mid-air. It looked somewhat similar, as if we were amphibious looking perhaps. Then I noticed my skin was changing. It looked puffy, swollen, water-logged and more lifeless in color than before. It started progressing like that, as if I was rotting in water. My friend and girlfriend realize im staring at her in shock after coming-to, and my girlfriend in excitement asks me what im seeing but I've barely gotten out some broken mumbling prior to the shock was experiecing, returning to normalcy so abruptly. As I stare at my rotting hand, everything comes back to normal.. and that was that. It wasn't for at least several months of excitedly telling this story that I discovered Alex Gray's painting.
It honestly felt ominous, like a warning. I easily interpreted it as such because her mental health had been in a bad place for a long time and I think deep down I knew I needed to go a long time ago. But I was trying to be supportive, until I finally realized, it really was "killing me".
I realized right after I forgot to set my intentions as I was so focused on taking the hits to breakthrough my first time. So I knew I had to go back. But my experience was so profound, it took me quite a long time to process it all and be ready. I felt the impression I'd know when I was ready and declined further invitations until I procured it on my own volition
Story Two: We Are All One; Just Enjoy It.
Nearly a year had past since that first breakthrough. I met another person who shared some DMT with me. I was a bit fearful to do the deep-dive again and knew that was generally a sign not to. But at the same time, I knew I HAD to go back. I know what I wanted to ask now. Was everything just a figment of my imagination? If not, what's the meaning of it all, what and where did I experience this otherworldly dimension and entity? It felt unnervingly supernatural.
Once again, but with a different friend this time, I had them administer me the doses until I couldn't, with another glass banger rig. I set my intentions and when he put the rig to my mouth and I went to touch the DMT, the dot i was aiming for became like a grid of like 16 dots and I proclaimed "I dont know whats going on!" in kind of a panic because I needed more help and really didnt want to waste any for the breakthrough. Next thing I know, it's like someone responded to me instantly and reached out a hand.
I was still sitting upright in bed, feet to the floor, eyes open and saw it like a vision. That hand just completely took over and was all I saw, a hand in a dark void of black. My panic turned to instant relief. It was like the person I saw, rather feminine feeling, guiding me the second things began all over again. It felt like an unexpected blessing as I figured ANYTHING could happen, I was prepared for the worst. My eyes are still open and suddenly I register everything around me beyond the vision. I'm still in the room. Everything is COMPLETELY normal again... EXCEPT HER.
A being comprising of fantastical colors and geometry, yet still humanoid in shape, is standing right in front of me. I thought, I cant believe it. This is just like what I experienced before, a fantastical entity surrounded by complete normalcy, but this time a completely different appearance and stand-alone without overwriting someone else's appearance. You couldnt really make out a face beyond the humanoid silhouette of color but it was so beautiful. I'm suddenly flooded with this telepathic-like communication where I feel like im feeling what she's feeling, so accurately in my mind. Shes in bliss. Shes so happy to see me. It's as if, shes been waiting for this for a long time and she missed me so deeply. I dont really know who she is but I felt very empathetic for her. It was like I was her family member that she had been watching from the afterlife, for me to finally be able to see her again. It's like ive never seen someone so happy in my life.
So, my girlfriend is with us once again and knows my last trip report in detail. So she sees it all over my face and posture that im seeing an entity again. She jumps off the bed and twirls in a circle and says "Its her isnt it?!". The entity looks back at her, raises her thumb back as if to ackowledge her and say "lol this chick. Yeah its me" and smirks in amusement.
Then I thought, "Ok. So, are you real?", and she grins real big again, with a smirk of very-humanlike smug amusement. A display of celebration and confirmation appears above her and I, not visible with my eyes like I saw her, but in my mind, again like telepathetic communication.. Fireworks, confetti, and a big bright bold "YES!" like depictions occurred. I was pretty satisfied with that. This felt insanely real, I feel completely coherent and focused, I feel practically sober and its so baffling.
So my next question then, "What's the meaning of life?"
I'm filled with a burst of information, "I'm You, You're Me, We're All One." and she's just gushing with emotion and I can't help but be absorbed by it. I've never felt more cherished and loved, and I even had plenty of that in my relationship and family. It's infectious. Shes gotten to me. How could you not love someone that loves you THIS MUCH? I feel like I love her already, deeply. I dont know who she is, she could be a mother, a lover, it didnt matter, that love and bond really felt like meeting a loved one in the afterlife. I'm so happy to experience it. More information floods my skull.
"The purpose of life is just to enjoy it! DUH!" she communicates with a grin of silly amusement, as if to say, you could have figured that out, its really that simple! .. and suddenly, it feels like my body is a clockwork, my knees connected to tethers that raise me from my seat without input. She wants to dance! And I dont care what it looks like either! I twirl around whimsically and enjoy this moment as if shes hand in hand, but its just me. And then she was gone. I go to sit with my friend and girlfriend and tell them immediately, the words fly from my mouth like autopilot without thought this time, as if the only effort was the lack of resisting. "I'm Not Me, I'm You. Because We're All One! The Meaning Of Life Is To Just Enjoy It!". My friend gets all amused and entertains me as I shift to complete sobriety.
And that's my story. It's been years since and I've not tried to have a breakthrough since. I'd definitely love to see her again. But I know I don't need to. I still carry that love I felt with me everyday and I think about it all the time. I know someday, I'll see her again. But then again, she's not gone. YOU're right here.
Much Love,
Cody
