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the white light

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Rising Star
Senior Member
OG Pioneer
So I prepared my space with my usual ritual, cleaning everything up int he afternoon..finished the reduction on my brew, set up the alter and did my pre drinking ceremony and drank the tea, blew out all the candles and lay back into some light citar sounds..

It came on real fast this time..this caapi is real strong and the mimosa just seems to potentiate it even more..wasnt too long after I was getting lots of interesting mental warping effects and sort of visionary impressions..at one point I was sort of having the thoughts of what seemed to be another person..abot her father..he was there comming to see her..but she didnt want to see him, he hadn't been there with her through the times in her life when she needed him..this was all very strange and i didnt know what to make of it..caapi candi this to me..makes me feel like im tapping into the psychic reasonace of other people maybe..

Next things i remember is a friend of mine that i really like comes to mind..I start to see her face and this overwhelming feeling comes over me..i realize something inside of myself starting to grow..and as it grows all this stuff that isnt me starts to fall away like a dark shell cracking..breaking into pieces..i realize there is a light within that has been shaded by this shell..it makes me needy..I feel myself as whole and complete, I realize that as much as I dont think I am, I am needy at times when it comes to women and things and I do things that are so out of character for me, and that it's not necessary.

So I am still seeing this girls face as I am feelignthis inner white light grow and fill me up from the core of my being..and as I watch her face starts to rotate, and present another face on the back of her head, and that rotates and splits into another face, and that face rotates and splits off into more faces..and as this is happening I feel a sort of split in my conciousness..like my mind is becomming fractals..Instantly I think oh wow I have been here with mushrooms!..it was like reliving experiences I have had on past psilocin journyes..

So that goes on for a while..with more strange visionary impressions and splitting sensations that were not all related to me personally..more like things from the minds of other people..

Then I sort of resurface all of a sudden into some really beautiful fractal patterns with eyes closed in the dark, that i recognise from my smoked jimjam experiences..i realize that this is the first time I have gotten into a space with mimosa as admixture that was starting resemble my smoked mimosa experiences..I have to pee so I leave the room and the light is blinding..def feelign the light on a visual level now..in the bathroom I am having trails and things are sort of sythmically swayng a bit and blending, then digitalysing the way they do when I am comming abck out of hyerspace after a vaped journey..

I go back into my and lay back down with some light music..everything is great at this point..the brew is really hitting me now and I feel sort of confused when i try to do anything so I just lay there..my phone rings and for some reason I answer it..it's my freind..i tell him I drank my tea and I cant stop laughing so he wishes me luck and lets me go..I have the urge to use crystals now..so I stick a piece of amethyst on my forehead over my pinal area..and grab a quartz in each hand..still laying in bed on my back.

I star to feel this light building inside of me again..and my hands go up into the air with these crystals in them and these movements start hapening..like very rythmic, circles and things..like a symphony with my hands..dancing hands..it feels so good and I cant feel that its somehow balancing the flow of energy inside of me..and I can like see this white light inside of me now..and the feeling is incredible..I feel so free and at once with the core of myself and who I am..I cant stop smiling and laughing almost to a rediculous extent..then there is like moaning in ecstacy and tears in my eyes..this goes on for at least 30 minutes straight..it was pure therapy directed right at the soul.

Finally after a few hours from the time I drank I feel like the peak is over and im slowing comming back..I go get an apple, a piece of rye bread, and come pineaple juice..I hold the rye bread in one had, and the apple in the other sitting on my bed..the apple feels alive, like it has pure life radiating out of it ready to give..the rye bread, organic as it is, feels dead and processed..heavy and dense..not too vibrant at all..I decide to stop eating all breads all together..the rye bread was the last bread I had been eating..all others were cut out and I made the decision to cut it out as well and go with quinoa and millet and couscous instead from now on becasue they seem to be more life giving..less processed.

I lay back down after drinking some juice and it brings the brew back up a notch for another 30 minutes or so and I fall back into those strange visionary sequences that seem to belong to myriads of other individuals..the interesting thing about it is that I empathise with the situations presented to me while they are happening..as if I really am seeing through the lives of other people..feeling what they feel..ayahuasca has this unmatched ability to take me to this level..no wonder they associated harmine with telepathy..

It was a wonderful night full of insight and spiritual ecstacy..made me want to focus even more on diet and health and yoga..and I felt simply amazing upon waking up the next morning. I felt clear, open, focussed and very much alive.
Thank you for sharing this fractal! My last journey with Aya (caapi only) also heavily focused on my own neediness and had a strong telepathic component. Be well.
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