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Three meetings with the goddess . . . (long)

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Placebo

Rising Star
Hello everybody . . . Im new here . . . Please excuse my bad english - im not a native speaker.I smoked DMT about 20 times but the last three trips were realy something. The thing is that all three were meetings with the same female entity. I will copy paste my first two reports from bluelight, but the third one ill type in last, so you can all help me integrate or atleast just discuss it with me.

First report:
Today was a long day. I had a rough day at college, still a bit whiny because I broke up with my girlfriend, feeling a little bit sorry for myself - you know the drill . I had my mother visiting and I told her about my use of psychedelics. I actually convinced her to try DMT so that she could understand, what I was toying with. Why I say toying will be explained later. Anyway I gave her a treshold dose of DMT so she saw some collors and patterns and gave her a better understanding for my artwork. The thing is that she was very concerned about my drug use and I felt obligated not to hide the truth anymore and show her what psychs are all about. The meeting went great.

When she left I started posting at our local harm reduction forum and found some of my old DMT trip reports, that were all real pleasant and that made me want to smoke it once again. I lit a candle, sat down comfortably and lit the glass pipe with great confidence in what I was doing. Note that I was home alone at the time.

The comeon was like taking off with a plane. I was immediately transported directly under a large insect like goddes, that spoke to me with an angry female voice: "Now I will show you . . ." I was terrified . . . I held on to the chair and she said "yes, you SHOULD hold on tight". . . I could feel it in her voice that she was furious with me. . . I thought that She made me bite off a chunk of the glass pipe and swallow it. I felt that I was covered in blood and that im dieing. I could actually taste the blood in my mouth. There was noone to help me. I panicked, stood up and ran toward the exit door. My appartement was of colours I have never seen before. I found out that there is nothing I can do and might as well except what I did to myself. I layed down on the flor in a fetal position, humbled and terrified. I tryed to convince myself that it was just "the thing" I smoked earlier. As the DMT was wearing off I found out that im OK, that this was just a lesson, that I should stop feeling sorry for myself and be glad that I am alive.

It was THE most terrifying experience in my life, yet I know this is not the last time I smoked DMT (Its not Her fault that I was a whiny little bitch - She just made me understand how lucky I actualy am) but I will definately aproach it with upmost respect and never again without someone present. I promised to myself and Her, that I will start excercising and stop whining and try to start living a healtyer life. There is no way of explaining the feeling when you think you are gonna die for sure and let me tell you - an experience like this is bound to change your life.

Second report:
The background is that i went to my friends place where there were his girlfriend and another girl. I just went there to have see how they are doing. I wasnt planing on staying too long. They asked me if i wanted a drink and i said yeah, but no alcohol. They gave me some juice and when i drank it they all started laughing. They told me that they pu about 3-4 mg of 2-ce in my drink. Normaly i would resent that but i said what the hell its not even that big of a dose and there is no need to have a bad trip because im pissed. Strangely enoug it turned out to be quite strong or atleast my experience was strong. I had quite a deep introspective trip and a great night. As i went home at about four o clock in the morning by foot i remembered my last trip with DMT. Still under the effects of 2-ce i decidet it is a good idea to repeat it as soon as i get home. I also had the time to realy think about what samadhi_smiles said: "Give up everything and you are free." I somehow got a deeper understanding of what he ment.

So i get home, pack my pipe and fill my lungs like never before. Imediately i was transported to that same being, but it seemed she was glad i came back. I told her imediately that i wont let her scare me and let her do with me whatever she wanted. She was pleased but she let me know that we do not have enough time to talk abou our last encounter. As i let go, she started to download some information in to me, but everything was happening so fast that i could not process it fast enough to know exactly what it was. I know we had a conversation also but it was like it was put on fast forward. As the effects were wearing off i heard this incredible, "shpongle-like" music and remembered what i read in Strassmans book in a chapter, where he has a session wit h an Indian Carlos. Here is that chapter:
"How do you feel about double this dose?"
What is the value? How can this experience help me or humankind or
my community? If I had brought back a wonderful truth, that would be
great.
I laughed and said, "Well, you've been talking twenty minutes nonstop
about 'nothing.'"
However, as he finished up the rating scale, he said,
i guess I will complete this study. I'll take the 0.4 and then I'll do the
pindolol study. But I don't think I will do anymore. I think that the shamans
in South America use other plants to fill out and make the DMT more reasonable.
Pure DMT seems empty or hollow.

My experience was not empty and hollow but rather much to fast. I guess that it would be much easier to realy bring back something if i could somehow slow down the trip. I have to try ayahuasca . . .

I guess that westerners do have the tendency to make everything bigger, faster and stronger . . . I remember also from Hoffmans book (may he rest in peace) LSD - my problem child that he talked about giving a south american shaman LSD, and she said "white mans medicine is too strong".

Third experience: I was unafraid. I took a large hit. This time she came to me much slower. I knew imediately that it was her. It was almost as we were making love and then she started comfortinng me (i reecently broke up with my girlfriend) that everything is going to be ok. I felt pure love. I came back even more at peace with myself and the world.

Who is she? Does she have a name? Does anyone have any similar experiences with this entity?

Humbly, Placebo
 
Can you describe more of the entities appearance. Was anything surrounding her? Did her appearance change each voyage?

Also, I might suggest a decent dose of an MAOI if you are looking for a longer slowed down version of your voyage. Some people report of up to an hour long trip using smoked harmine or rue freebase extract. Both are easily obtainable and the rue extraction is pretty easy.

You can find it here: Rue Extraction This can be done from start to finish in an hour. Smokable product in 2 hours with drying. 50mg-100mgs will slow down the experience from FFx4 to a speed most people can deal with. More healing (physical as well as spiritual/mental) happens when harmine/rue/caapi vine is added to the spice.

Also Aya is a great way to have a long 3-4 journey. Many report the Caapi vine/DMT mixture brings visions of the spirit of the vine "La Madre" who is a stern but loving guide into the spirit worlds.
 
First time i saw her i was scared shitless. I got so scared that i opened my eyes. The second time it was to fast. I could sence the same entity but i guess that the 2ce sped-up the trip. I guess she did change apearances but i could know it was her. The last time she had a long beautyful purple face - i saw an avatar here on this forum that looks almost exactly like her. All i remember sorounding her were patterns and some sort of energy field.
 
I found that goddess too, in a few forms - big and small; she was the mother of all serpents once, or a thousand angels, but all loving me like crazy for realizing they were ... . My subconscious is populated by many female 'entities', androgenous 'kids' and elves, but it's mostly a 'She' ... !

Perhaps "She" is the Anima (Jungian for an archetype in the unconscious), your personal guardian angel, maybe she's Gaia, the 'Anima Mundi' ... Ever met a purely 'male' entity..?

Only once did I meet a tuxedo-wearing male guardian, or something wanting to pose as 'male' ... all dressed up as a man, He assured me I was not going to end up obliterated in the maelstorm of anti-matter/matter streams that were all around us, and tended by 'elves', at each junction.. ...

It's our DNA ... She's in our DNA; the cosmic serpent is in ALL DNA !
 
Placebo said:
The last time she had a long beautyful purple face - i saw an avatar here on this forum that looks almost exactly like her. .

Holy shit El Ka Bong i was talking about your avatar.
 
Interesting. I never saw a purely male entity. I saw this three-eyed dragon once that growled at me. I didnt pay attention at its sex. Then i saw an alien that stuck out his tongue at me like a little child - but still im not sure of its sex. This entity was female for sure.
 
Oh, I've seen the male entities.

One was a scraggly gnome-ish like creature. He was a bit taler and leaner than your garden variety gnome. He was pointing to the center of a kalediscope inviting me in. He became angry when I continued to stare....he was led off by two other male entities as my voyage ended. I don't think he was inviting me to the land of milk and honey.

Another male entity I have seen was a prankster big nosed type entity. Similar, but much shorter than the Mad Hatter in Alice (the gothic game). He wanted to poke and annoy me.

Another distinct male entity I have seen was tending a machine made of thick tenticles...all quite stationary. We attempted communication via that machine without success.

Yet ANOTHER male entity that I have encountered was a hindu-like god with spinning glyphs in front of him.

The list goes on.

A few entities I have met are without obvious gender.

I find that most entites I meet are male. Few are female, but the ones that I do encounter are are loving or lustful.
 
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