NikkiPotnick1981
Rising Star
Hello all. Hoping to write my thoughts out here and ask advice from more experienced travellers.
I've done DMT about 7 or 8 times now in the past 4 months. I have very minimal experience with psychs leading up to this.
My first 5 DMT trips were with a gentle come up (for DMT standards) with low to moderate initial anxiety after inhalation which transitioned into a beautiful mostly visually stimulating trip. I do remember a slight struggle with the come up, but eventually stabilized into the trip. All in all, I thought I was doing well with slowly getting into my groove, figuring out my rig, and incrementally upping my dosage. It was spiritual and beautiful and I was looking forward to going deeper.
I had one entity experience that was great, but no breakthrough. Each trip was more visually intensive than the last. I was getting cocky and felt I could do no wrong with upping my dose. I was a pro now. :? ... (I thought lol.) And then the 6th time I took a fearless, large 60mg rip from my rig. It was big. I coughed it up after only a few seconds. I got it all, but didnt hold it. I was immediately disappointed that I coughed, but was surprised by how intense my visuals came on. Holy shit, I was thrust into this extremely intense portal that I wasn't ready to go to I guess... The sheer intensity sent me into a panic attack. I did the funky chicken on the floor trying to escape and awoke destroyed. Damn. Shit happens. I dealt with it. Got back on the horse, took a step back with lighter psychs (like 4acoDMT) and got my confidence back to visit Dimitri again.
Last night I prepared to go back. I had a great set and setting, did some meditation and dropped the tip of a knife (between 25-40mg) of powder into my rig. Due to the harshness in my lungs, I assumed I got the entire dose, I decided to blow it out after only a couple seconds. FEAR. I thought, oh well, I'll enjoy the visuals, no breakthrough this time...
After a second, I got the typical euphoric feeling, I began to sit back and drop my blindfold...
A few seconds after that and totally unexpected, I was hurling down this tunnel again at light speed! "SHIT, I'm dying! My brain broke!" I dont think there was any visuals of the tunnel. It was just a feeling of my soul being ripped outta my body and I was extremely panicked. It wasn't really a feeling of travelling down a tunnel, but more like a rapid transition from one state to another... if that makes any sense. This was the come up and it was INTENSE. And then it happened. My physical body was no more. My senses were totally highjacked. Something changed and I was no longer a human being. It wasn't comfy or peaceful. It was like my soul was torn out of my body shot partially into its home and then yanked back to my body immediately. A rollercoaster ride for my soul. Where was I? Was this the breakthrough eluding me? I wasn't in my body but I wasn't where I needed to be. I think I broke through for only a second and came back to this reality immediately.
I took a breath, stabilized and enjoyed the visual show. But I was back on earth in my body feeling sad that I had been rejected. The sadness melted away rapidly as a dancing robot looking jester poked fun at me telling me to chill out. I didnt watch him, as I dont think I was in a state to move my eyes to the right side of my brain where he was... It felt as I experienced it though my periferral? Weird. I was aware I was in my body but kinda not totally aware. I was still quite couch locked.
Whats happening here? The feeling I had was definitely death. I was dying and I wasn't ok with it. I said, "no no no no!" as it was happening and it kicked me back to my body.
Is the breakthrough always immediately after the come up?
Or, Can a breakthrough come after we stabilize and perhaps a few minutes into the trip?
Is it common to see entities and not be broken through? I was NOT broken through both entity experiences I have had because I could put thought to the experience. And I was me in my body.
Please help me to map out my travels. I'm really confused. Am I on the right track? Should I up my dose. Damn its terrifying.
Thanks guys!
I've done DMT about 7 or 8 times now in the past 4 months. I have very minimal experience with psychs leading up to this.
My first 5 DMT trips were with a gentle come up (for DMT standards) with low to moderate initial anxiety after inhalation which transitioned into a beautiful mostly visually stimulating trip. I do remember a slight struggle with the come up, but eventually stabilized into the trip. All in all, I thought I was doing well with slowly getting into my groove, figuring out my rig, and incrementally upping my dosage. It was spiritual and beautiful and I was looking forward to going deeper.
I had one entity experience that was great, but no breakthrough. Each trip was more visually intensive than the last. I was getting cocky and felt I could do no wrong with upping my dose. I was a pro now. :? ... (I thought lol.) And then the 6th time I took a fearless, large 60mg rip from my rig. It was big. I coughed it up after only a few seconds. I got it all, but didnt hold it. I was immediately disappointed that I coughed, but was surprised by how intense my visuals came on. Holy shit, I was thrust into this extremely intense portal that I wasn't ready to go to I guess... The sheer intensity sent me into a panic attack. I did the funky chicken on the floor trying to escape and awoke destroyed. Damn. Shit happens. I dealt with it. Got back on the horse, took a step back with lighter psychs (like 4acoDMT) and got my confidence back to visit Dimitri again.
Last night I prepared to go back. I had a great set and setting, did some meditation and dropped the tip of a knife (between 25-40mg) of powder into my rig. Due to the harshness in my lungs, I assumed I got the entire dose, I decided to blow it out after only a couple seconds. FEAR. I thought, oh well, I'll enjoy the visuals, no breakthrough this time...
After a second, I got the typical euphoric feeling, I began to sit back and drop my blindfold...
A few seconds after that and totally unexpected, I was hurling down this tunnel again at light speed! "SHIT, I'm dying! My brain broke!" I dont think there was any visuals of the tunnel. It was just a feeling of my soul being ripped outta my body and I was extremely panicked. It wasn't really a feeling of travelling down a tunnel, but more like a rapid transition from one state to another... if that makes any sense. This was the come up and it was INTENSE. And then it happened. My physical body was no more. My senses were totally highjacked. Something changed and I was no longer a human being. It wasn't comfy or peaceful. It was like my soul was torn out of my body shot partially into its home and then yanked back to my body immediately. A rollercoaster ride for my soul. Where was I? Was this the breakthrough eluding me? I wasn't in my body but I wasn't where I needed to be. I think I broke through for only a second and came back to this reality immediately.
I took a breath, stabilized and enjoyed the visual show. But I was back on earth in my body feeling sad that I had been rejected. The sadness melted away rapidly as a dancing robot looking jester poked fun at me telling me to chill out. I didnt watch him, as I dont think I was in a state to move my eyes to the right side of my brain where he was... It felt as I experienced it though my periferral? Weird. I was aware I was in my body but kinda not totally aware. I was still quite couch locked.
Whats happening here? The feeling I had was definitely death. I was dying and I wasn't ok with it. I said, "no no no no!" as it was happening and it kicked me back to my body.
Is the breakthrough always immediately after the come up?
Or, Can a breakthrough come after we stabilize and perhaps a few minutes into the trip?
Is it common to see entities and not be broken through? I was NOT broken through both entity experiences I have had because I could put thought to the experience. And I was me in my body.
Please help me to map out my travels. I'm really confused. Am I on the right track? Should I up my dose. Damn its terrifying.
Thanks guys!