It takes a certain getting used to for sure.  Just have to relax. You are not dying.. you're mind is wrong.  Think about that.  It is projecting this idea into your experience.  The thoughts come in, then the emotions follow, next thing you know that is what all your energy is going towards. Survival. Can you step back from these thoughts and emotions and attempt to calm yourself and know that you are in fact, not dying?

I had said once before that it often feels like practicing to die.  You have to let go.  There is a great lesson in what you panic about when you feel like death is here.  There is an immediate appreciation for life when I come back from these kind of experiences.  I give gratitude for my life and the lesson of dying!  It will happen some day... I think it's ok to practice letting go with DMT.  Just observe it happening and do your best to just let the experience happen.  It is easier said than done.  You have to approach it with respect and courage.

I would like to add that the DMT experience is not always like this.  It can be so many things.  I feel like some of what you are experiencing is a one foot in and one foot out.  Sometimes it is much easier to just be all the way there. In some ways it just takes you beyond your mind and ego.  There is no fight, because there is no longer any of YOU to fight it.  I have come out of this kind of experience almost having to remember who I am.  At times it felt like I was reassembled. Suddenly feeling my fingertips, the sounds come back, all of reality seems to pop back into place.  I would stare at my hands for a moment thinking, what the heck are these things.  BAM.. these are hands.. I have hands... I am a human.. oh yeah... I remember this.. I am me!  So weird....

It just changes and changes.  Just when you think you have seen it all it shows more.  It feels infinite.  Don't strive for a breakthrough.  Just relax and try and enjoy it as much as you can.  I often have recommended to try and laugh.  I really mean it.  Laugh!  It really helps.  You can also hum.. chant.. or maybe put on some music you like for grounding if you want.  Noises and sounds seem to be taken with you into hyperspace.  They can transform the experiences at times.

All in all, I think you are approaching it in a good way.  Meditation is good.  Stepping up your dose little by little is good. Just try and stop worrying about things.  Just let go!  Relax... try and have fun. Set an intention!  Something simple like show me love!  And just think over and over about love! 

I dunno.. I approach DMT with a certain wild abandon sometimes.  I really just like whatever it brings up anymore.  I enjoy light dose, medium dose and heavy dose all the same.  Just depends on my mood.  It is such an odd terrain that takes some getting used to.  Most of the terrain is learning to observe the mind freaking out about it and stepping out of it when this starts to occur.

I hope some of this may help... I could go on and on about my experiences and what has helped me.  I would say the biggest help would be to trust yourself and know you will be ok no matter what comes up.  Everything is ok. Nothing is wrong. Trust the whole experience!