Reality was stripped away from me tonight. I can't fully explain it but i was already in the after glow of one trip when i took 4 big ones in. I felt like trying to keep my eyes open this time around, and i tried to experience it like mushrooms where you can interact. Boy was that a mistake.
I felt like i was surround by a million facets of stringing energy and the whole room came to life as if all the matter was exerting some kind of light/energy. All the sudden this Buddha figure approached me and felt like it came into me. (this is all open eye shit) after that i could barely make sense of my environment i would turn my head and feel like the room was turning with me. I got this sense that what i was looking at after i turned my head was what i was looking at before. I kept trying to make sense of this colorful world. I kept feeling this feeling like my body was flowing with something there was this energy/warmth running through my blood. I than started to feel like i was separated from the room like I was floating in the midst of all this energy, I'd close my eyes and see a whole new world painted before me, like my soul was in between two worlds. I could see my world which still my world looked a lot different with my eyes open, and I could see this alien world which I can't fully describe when they were closed.
So i decided to look myself in the mirror, now that was just weird. (I usually do stare myself down in the afterglow and reflect but this time i was full blow) I can't really explain what i saw or who i saw or what it was i saw but it was insane. So trying to enjoy this weird world i decided to cut the lights and lay down. Thats when i started to look back at my life from the past week and where i am and who is in my life. In all honesty it felt like i was dying and flash backing my life, because everything sort of made sense like i would see how i go about my day from outside myself. I would witness my actions and others reactions and go ooooooo that makes sense now. I truly felt like i was gonna die or i was already dead.
I than kept switching between different parts of my life like water rushing from one beaker to another. I got this feeling that my memories were just moments in time and i could revisit them as i wished. I saw the pain, the love, i saw it all and it all just made sense. After that i got this feeling that everything in life is just energy moving about. Our souls our thoughts it's all just energy. I study the human brain and with my knowledge in how the brain works, i guess more or less helped me understand this new found understanding...if that even makes sense. I felt like we are granted with this life and are made to do with it what we wanted. I started to realize the fact i was getting older and my dreams of being a kid with such vast dreams were starting to fall apart. I'm only 20 and I have a lot ahead but the choices of professions, the choices of things you once felt you had to look forward to feel apart. I realize I was who I am and it wont change much. I felt this sudden urge that life is somehow completely pointless, that we live we learn and we die, and everyone must continue this process as i have, as you will, as anyone else will.
This trip was a total mind fuck. That I had an urge to share with people who might somehow in someway understand.
I felt like i was surround by a million facets of stringing energy and the whole room came to life as if all the matter was exerting some kind of light/energy. All the sudden this Buddha figure approached me and felt like it came into me. (this is all open eye shit) after that i could barely make sense of my environment i would turn my head and feel like the room was turning with me. I got this sense that what i was looking at after i turned my head was what i was looking at before. I kept trying to make sense of this colorful world. I kept feeling this feeling like my body was flowing with something there was this energy/warmth running through my blood. I than started to feel like i was separated from the room like I was floating in the midst of all this energy, I'd close my eyes and see a whole new world painted before me, like my soul was in between two worlds. I could see my world which still my world looked a lot different with my eyes open, and I could see this alien world which I can't fully describe when they were closed.
So i decided to look myself in the mirror, now that was just weird. (I usually do stare myself down in the afterglow and reflect but this time i was full blow) I can't really explain what i saw or who i saw or what it was i saw but it was insane. So trying to enjoy this weird world i decided to cut the lights and lay down. Thats when i started to look back at my life from the past week and where i am and who is in my life. In all honesty it felt like i was dying and flash backing my life, because everything sort of made sense like i would see how i go about my day from outside myself. I would witness my actions and others reactions and go ooooooo that makes sense now. I truly felt like i was gonna die or i was already dead.
I than kept switching between different parts of my life like water rushing from one beaker to another. I got this feeling that my memories were just moments in time and i could revisit them as i wished. I saw the pain, the love, i saw it all and it all just made sense. After that i got this feeling that everything in life is just energy moving about. Our souls our thoughts it's all just energy. I study the human brain and with my knowledge in how the brain works, i guess more or less helped me understand this new found understanding...if that even makes sense. I felt like we are granted with this life and are made to do with it what we wanted. I started to realize the fact i was getting older and my dreams of being a kid with such vast dreams were starting to fall apart. I'm only 20 and I have a lot ahead but the choices of professions, the choices of things you once felt you had to look forward to feel apart. I realize I was who I am and it wont change much. I felt this sudden urge that life is somehow completely pointless, that we live we learn and we die, and everyone must continue this process as i have, as you will, as anyone else will.
This trip was a total mind fuck. That I had an urge to share with people who might somehow in someway understand.
